back to article DUP site crashes after UK general election

The Democratic Union Party's website has crashed as people woke this morning to google the group that may play kingmaker after the Tories fell short of a majority in the UK general election. At the time of writing, 647 of the 650 seats have been declared and Conservative leader Theresa May has failed to win the 326 seats …

  1. Your alien overlord - fear me

    She could possibly get away with no coalition - how often is there a full house in the Commons?

    1. Pen-y-gors Silver badge

      how often is there a full house in the Commons?

      whenever there's a minority government!

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        > how often is there a full house in the Commons?

        Those of us with long memories will remember the end of the Callaghan government in 1979 when Labour were down to a majority of 1 and they had MPs who should have been in hospital being looked after on stretchers in corridors so that when the vote came they could be carried through the voting lobby to vote. A few years ago there was a program on the radio with MPs involved recalling the time ... one of the Labour Whips said that when they eventually lost the final confidence motion he said they could probably have won but it would just have delayed the innevitable as keeping seriously ill MPs in parliament to vote when they should have been in hospital was bascially killing them and they decided that enough was enough.

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          She has condemned herself to a living nightmare. Relying on completely mental whipping of her MPs, and the Orange order. The *orange order* ffs. The 1922, the press, even the jam making WI members of the grass roots will all be after her blood. Last time there was a proper hung parliament, 2 elections in a year. I think she'll struggle on to spring 2018. But after that, she'll be out of her misery, and I sense a Labour landslide.

          1. ridley

            They will not only be after May's blood but the Tories in general for condoning the deal. I cannot see the up side for them on this deal.

      2. Oh Homer Silver badge

        Re: "how often is there a full house in the Commons?"

        Usually only when there's a vote on MP's wages.

        Seriously.

    2. Harry the Bastard

      whenever the whips tell their sheep to do as they're told

      [some words here]

    3. kmac499

      As of this morning very often....

      Yet again when everyones eyes were on Scotland and Nicola Sturgeon the UK gov't is about to be underpinned by Ulster Unionists who in this case owe their power to Sinn Fein absenting themselves from Westminster. While at the same time NI is currently under the prospect of direct rule by a gov't that will rely on the DUPs support.

      Anyone opened a book yet on the date of the next general election

      1. Dan 55 Silver badge

        Sinn Fein should turn up this time, just for the craic.

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: Sinn Fein should turn up this time, just for the craic.

          ... or even just because it's their job?

          1. Anonymous Coward
            Anonymous Coward

            Re: Sinn Fein should turn up this time, just for the craic.

            Next election will be late October/early November following about a month after the Tory party conference.

            This assumes they are going to go with a formal launch of their manifesto this time rather than just winging it a few days out and crashing badly...

            1. John Brown (no body) Silver badge

              Re: Sinn Fein should turn up this time, just for the craic.

              "This assumes they are going to go with a formal launch of their manifesto this time rather than just winging it a few days out and crashing badly..."

              You think there will be a Tory Manifesto next time instead of a May Manifesto? Assuming she's still around of course. Personally I think what others have already said, June is the end of May.

      2. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Yet again when everyones eyes were on Scotland and Nicola Sturgeon ...

        And what a result in Scotland, eh? WTF have the SNP being doing to lose so many seats, and particularly to the Conservatives?

        I the Scottish Tory voter was a species officially declared extinct, with the only chance of resurrection through exhuming bodies and cloning and patching the DNA, Jurassic Park style.

        1. John Riddoch

          The Tories sold themselves as the only way to avoid Indyref2. That probably turned out sufficient voters who don't want to split from the rest of UK. The fact Alex Salmond isn't particularly well-liked by the locals probably didn't help either.

          1. Mage Silver badge

            Tories sold themselves as the only way to avoid Indyref2

            Yet lost.

            Total of ALL opposition to SNP 40.7%. Tories only got 13 seats, 22% of seats on their Unionism platform and Sturgeon / SNP managed to hold on to 35. Yet Indy ref was 55% for unionism. So you might claim support for Scottish Independence has gone from 45% to 59. SNP only did so well at last election (and far better than expected) due to backlash against Westminster, hence Ruth Davidson choosing Unionism campaign, thinking that might give majority.

            1. John Brown (no body) Silver badge

              Re: Tories sold themselves as the only way to avoid Indyref2

              "SNP managed to hold on to 35."

              Yes, it's still a win. But a win of 35 seats, down from all but one, is probably not the win they were hoping for.

          2. DontFeedTheTrolls
            Megaphone

            John Riddoch

            The Tories sold themselves as the only way to avoid Indyref2.

            All three major parties sold themselves as against IndyRef2, garnering a result that has 1,654,017 against independence and only 989,726 for it. 62% against, 38% for, a wider gap than IndyRef1, and certainly no "mandate from the people of Scotland" to support IndyRef2. But still the SNP will claim it.

        2. Mage Silver badge
          Big Brother

          Scotland & Tories

          Before last big election win the SNP had maybe 6?

          Ruth Davidson fought Scottish Tory election on Unionism (55% in Indyref) and lost. All non-SNP (mostly Unionists) was 40.7% to the SNP 59.3%. I'd call that a win for SNP.

          In NI, despite near parity in Stormont (and a hung assembly with no prospect of a government), the Nationalists (SF) only got 38.9%, DUP (10) + 1 Unionist Independent = 61.1% Adams & SF will go quiet on calls for a border referendum.

          SF should take seats or get no money.

          1. DontFeedTheTrolls
            Boffin

            Re: Scotland & Tories

            @Mage

            Total of ALL opposition to SNP 40.7%. Tories only got 13 seats, 22% of seats on their Unionism platform and Sturgeon / SNP managed to hold on to 35. Yet Indy ref was 55% for unionism. So you might claim support for Scottish Independence has gone from 45% to 59.

            Since IndyRef(n) is a referendum, it is counted on votes, not seats, so your argument for an SNP win is invalid.

            SNP (For) votes = 989,726

            Tory,Labour,LibDem (Against) = 1,654,017

            Yes = 38%

            No = 62%

            A wider gap than the 55%/45% of IndyRef1, and a total loss for the SNP. But never let facts get in the way of some good SNP spin.

            1. Oh Homer Silver badge
              Childcatcher

              Re: "Tory,Labour,LibDem (Against)"

              Not necessarily. It's far more nuanced than that.

              I'm a lifelong Labour Party member and voter, a socialist and therefore an internationalist, radically opposed to nationalism.

              And yet I support Scottish independence.

              Here's why: For me (and every "YES" supporter I know) Scottish independence is not about nationalism in the usual (far-right) sense, it's not about racism or xenophobia or even money, it's about getting out from under the thumb of Westminster, a clique of Bullingdon Club graduates that only represents the privileged few, and is completely out of touch with the working class majority.

              It's worth remembering that the SNP has long since lost its reputation as the "Tartan Tories", ever since the left-wing reforms of the 79 Group (led by Salmond amongst others). In fact, prior to Corbyn's reign at the helm of Labour, the SNP were probably only second to the Greens (and possibly Plaid Cymru) in terms of socialist policy.

              As a socialist, I could easily have voted for the SNP in good conscience, but the opportunity to vote for the only truly socialist Labour leader in (my) living memory was too good to pass up.

              But I still support independence, not least of which because it might actually be the only chance we (in Scotland) have to rejoin the EU (Scotland voted overwhelmingly to remain), securing our civil and human rights, escaping austerity politics, and fully benefiting from the economic advantages of the single market. Most of all, though, it's about a deeply socialist country finally being allowed to operate like one, instead of being perpetually oppressed and overruled by the intractably right-wing values of Westminster.

              Even as a staunch socialist radically opposed to nationalism, I just can't see any way for Scotland to realise its socialist ambitions as part of this toxic union, so clearly the only way forward is independence.

              1. Boris the Cockroach Silver badge

                Re: "Tory,Labour,LibDem (Against)"

                Bollocks

                The SNP ARE an nationalist party that just so happens to wear socialism as a cloak

                Look what happens whenever theres a report about how badly the SNP/Green party are running Scotland

                Its instant "Indyref2.. All the nasty englishes fault .... indyref2.... blame westminister ... did I say indyref2... oh I dint INDYREF2".... followed by "quick, someone call BBC scotland and make them put Braveheart on a continous loop"

                Thats the snp.... nationalists to the core first and foremost, dont care about what happens to anyone else so long as they can get scotland out of the UK and then hold power for themselves.

                Oh and if scotlands health service in in financial crisis...... just ask the SNP about that power they have to vary scotland's income tax rate from the UK wide one......... and why they dont use it.

          2. Red Bren

            Re: Scotland & Tories

            "SF should take seats or get no money."

            You'll be pleased to hear SF MPs do not get paid.

        3. MrRimmerSIR!

          Scottish Conservative Voters

          Well in the 2015 election there were 434,097 giving them 14% of the vote, so not quite extinct.

      3. Doctor Syntax Silver badge

        "the UK gov't is about to be underpinned by Ulster Unionists"

        Ulster Unionists != DUP

        Different party.

        1. Frumious Bandersnatch Silver badge

          > Ulster Unionists != DUP

          You mean "Ulster Unionist Party" != "Democratic Unionist Party"

          Being picky "Ulster unionists" is probably the better correction here. Just giving the OP the benefit of the doubt, here.

          1. Anonymous Coward
            Anonymous Coward

            Splitters

        2. Elmer Phud Silver badge

          to coin a phrase

          They are Orangemen.

          They all look the same to me.

          1. Voyna i Mor Silver badge

            Re: to coin a phrase - They are Orangemen.

            And indeed, very, very Trump-like (though he doesn't have actual terrorists endorsing him, just a load of white people waving guns at rallies.)

    4. David Webb

      Problem is we're going into brexit talks, May decided that Pride was with her but that has led to a Fall, she should play Fallout 4 and visit Hubris Comics. With a weak government, any divisions between them and their DUP partners may get voted down by the opposition parties ganging up to give May a MayNot.

      If Conservatives can't form up with DUP and get assent to power, Corbyn may come in which would put us into an even worse position, every policy could get voted down by Conservatives and whoever else decides to turn up to claim their travel allowance of £1,520 per mile.

      On the bright side, if Corbie does get into power he'll probably block Trumps visit and put him on the watch list so he can never visit again, he can declare that hair a clear and present danger.

      Expect another election in the next couple of years, wake me up when it's over.

      1. Scuby

        I reckon we could see another election in a couple of months, let alone years.

        1. David Webb

          Next few months? And people thought I was crazy for investing in the company that produces ballot papers.

          1. Anonymous Coward
            Anonymous Coward

            Crazy?

            People said that I was crazy to say that the electorate would give the establishment a second kicking in 12 months.

            They have just let me out of the loony bin.

            1. Dan 55 Silver badge

              Re: Crazy?

              Third time lucky?

        2. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          @scuby

          There will be another election, it was clear from the start she didn't want to win it and now she shacks up with the good terrorists ready to call another election.

      2. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        An election is only going to be called earlier than 5 years from now if the Prime Minister calls one or if there is a vote of no confidence. Given the recent fiasco no matter how much the polls might show them to be ahead there will be no appetite for the PM to call another snap election in the hope of gaining an increased lead.

        A no confidence vote is possible should the DUP decide that it wants to roll the dice again, however it did do rather well this time and is basking in power so it would be in their best interest to hang on. Which only leaves a no confidence vote supported by a back bench revolt most probably objecting to a bad Brexit deal. Whilst this is always possible it would be party political suicide and so quite unlikely.

        Five years is far from impossible.

      3. Anonymous Coward
        Holmes

        DUP makes Trump look halfway moderate. Pretty funny that they're going to be calling the shots in your new gov't, but ya'll Brits are still looking down your noses at America because Trump.

        1. John Brown (no body) Silver badge

          "Pretty funny that they're going to be calling the shots in your new gov't"

          If you think they'll be "calling the shots" with so few MPs, just look back a few years to the ConDem coalition and just how much influence the Dems actually had. The Dems worked hard to show their influence, and did manage to stall the Tory Snoopers charter and a few other things, but even with many more MPs than the DUP now have, had little real effect and were certainly not "calling the shots".

          As yet, British politics isn't quite as partisan as US politics. There's nearly always "rebels" in most of the parties who will vote for or against something out of line with their own party leaders because it's the right thing to do.

        2. Bernard M. Orwell Silver badge

          Nah mate, only our elite overlords actually look down their noses at anything. The rest of us are looking sidelong at Trump, one eyebrow raised, and with an unspoken "you f'in what, mate?" hanging in the air.

    5. veti Silver badge

      "No coalition" is entirely possible, it's called a minority government. Nothing particularly groundbreaking about that as a concept, we've had 'em before, and some Europeans have them regularly.

      A "no confidence" vote needs more than just defectors from those you're counting on, it also needs a solid turnout from everyone else. Depending on the cause and the opposition at the time, it's by no means guaranteed that Labour, the SNP, the Lib Dems and Plaid Cymru could all be persuaded to support the same motion on anything without defections from their ranks too.

  2. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    robots.txt

    User-agent: Maybot

    Crawl-delay: 60

  3. Pen-y-gors Silver badge

    DUP?

    Oh that will be good, a strong and stable minority Tory government propped up by a bunch of people who make UKIP look moderate, balanced and cuddly, and with worrying links in the past to certain violent extremists. Enough is enough?

    1. John Smith 19 Gold badge
      Joke

      "with worrying links in the past to certain violent extremists. "

      <ulster accent>

      That is a blatantly unsubstantiated rumor put out by the relatives of all the people shot by Loyalist paramilitaries in the past.

      And BTW with our support of Mrs May's IPA we will know where you live.

      signed

      DUP

      </ulster accent>

      1. Pen-y-gors Silver badge

        Re: "with worrying links in the past to certain violent extremists. "

        <ulster accent>

        Yet another typical stereotypical bit of something-or-other put out by the MSM! What do you mean 'ulster' accent? There's no such thing - can't you hear the difference between Ian Paisley and Martin McGuiness? Seriously, there's a world of difference between the accents of Donegal, Derry and Belfast.

        I remember having slight troubles with the accent of one of my Irish teachers in Donegal. Lovely woman, but very definite Derry accent. She was trying to explain how to pronounce something, but rather than using standard phonetics she tried to write 'English' words that sounded the same. Okay until she wanted to get an 'eye' or 'aye' sound (in standard English) She wrote down N-O-W pronounced 'Nigh'. Works fine once you get used to it!

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: "with worrying links in the past to certain violent extremists. "

          Yet another typical stereotypical bit of something-or-other put out by the MSM! What do you mean 'ulster' accent? There's no such thing - can't you hear the difference between Ian Paisley and Martin McGuiness? Seriously, there's a world of difference between the accents of Donegal, Derry and Belfast.

          To be fair, the "accent" attribute was used merely as a boolean, so the parser is instructed to use a suitable accent, but, absent a standardised default value, leaves the exact presentation up to the reader's preference.

        2. John Smith 19 Gold badge
          Happy

          "Yet another typical stereotypical bit of something-or-other put out by the MSM!"

          The joke icon and the mock HTML should have flagged that my post was not entirely serious. :-(

          In fact I have witnessed what happens when two Ulsterman (who don't know each other) are talking on the phone. It's quite fascinating to watch. They can indeed detect what area of a city each comes from. If you could pop open an inspection port on the backs of their heads it would look this.

          Handshake initiated...

          Town status --> same

          Map loading...

          Search initiated.

          Area identified.

          Street identified.

          Status --> sound.

          It was a fascinating exercise in Geography to watch. I'd never seen anything like it before or since.

      2. Hans 1 Silver badge
        Coffee/keyboard

        Re: "with worrying links in the past to certain violent extremists. "

        Good joke, thanks!

        But, I would correct:

        "Loyalist paramilitaries in the past."

        "Royalist paramilitaries in the past."

        Then again, royalists as just as daft as patriots!

        [ducks_and_braces_for_incoming_downvotes]

        1. John Smith 19 Gold badge
          Unhappy

          @Hans 1

          "Good joke, thanks!"

          You're welcome.

          In harsh times a sense of humour is a vital part of anyone's survival kit.

          And for UK readers, the times are about to get harsher.

    2. MyffyW Silver badge

      Re: DUP?

      Clue is in the name "The Conservative and Unionist Party"... if DUP do crown Mrs May it will be worth looking deeper into the probity of the DUPs recent experience in government.

      Either that or just get a wood burning stove :-)

      1. Bernard M. Orwell Silver badge

        Re: DUP?

        "Clue is in the name "The Conservative and Unionist Party..."

        No doubt they will be sending the "Conservative and Unionist Negotiating Team" to sort Brexit for us.

    3. Mage Silver badge
      Coat

      Re: DUP?

      The black and decker catalogue is in the post to all posters besmriching the DUP.

      Proven bullies and bigots. Previous party leader (Robinson) led a mob attack on an Irish Garda station, which unlike NI police stations, are usually just like a regular office or even in rural areas a house.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        "The black and decker catalogue is in the post to all posters besmriching the DUP."

        Oh my, someone has a long memory for old skool Ulster politics.

        1. Voyna i Mor Silver badge

          Re: "The black and decker catalogue is in the post to all posters besmriching the DUP."

          "Oh my, someone has a long memory for old skool Ulster politics."

          Not in NI tems because they're still referencing stuff that happened several hundred years ago - or if you really want to push it, 1500 (The Tain Bo Cuailnge.)

          1. albaleo

            Re: "The black and decker catalogue is in the post to all posters besmriching the DUP."

            Not in NI tems because they're still referencing stuff that happened several hundred years ago - or if you really want to push it, 1500

            But never more than 4,000 years ago.

    4. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: DUP?

      "Oh that will be good, a strong and stable minority Tory government propped up by a bunch of people who make UKIP look moderate, balanced and cuddly, [...]"

      As Theresa May has played the "God" card then she will feel at home with the DUP.

      Her voting record on issues of sex is a mixed bag - but suggests where she went with the popular line then it was only at the last minute. It would appear that she will not be adverse to sweetening the DUP in their opposition to LGBTQ equality issues and abortions.

  4. gv

    Interesting Times

    Amazing dog's breakfast (or should that be dog's brexit?) served up by the party that won the 2015 election.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Interesting Times

      served up by the party that won the 2015 election

      That's arguable other than in the strictest technical sense. The Tories won in 2015 only because of the shambolic attempt by Ed Milliband's crowd of third raters. Cameron was a shallow, vacuous toff who stood for nothing, had no vision, not clear policies, and despite the lacklustre opposition, and the implosion of the LibDems, the Tories scraped a wafer thin majority.

      After Cameron threw in the towel after the referendum the parliamentary Tories elected May, from a short list regrettably devoid of any talent. For decades now, the MPs of the Tory party have been choosing the poorer candidates from mediocre lists, and until they stop choosing geographers, graduates in PPE, and people with no experience of a real world job, this will repeat again and again.

      May, who whilst not quite a toff, is a re-run of Cameron. She appears to have no real vision and stands for nothing - idiot ideas like "lets have grammar schools, but they must let in the right number of pupils from hard working families" WTF? That was just air-head stupidity, but that's common currency on both sides of the house (look at Diane Abbott). May probably threw away this election with the single pronouncement of the "dementia tax". That was actually a fairly sound idea in a logical sense, but a guaranteed loser with the elderly, why would you announce that in the few weeks before a snap election? Proof that she has no judgement whatsoever, and that she is surrounded by people with no judgement, or she doesn't listen to them. Likewise her stance on protecting the UK's wildly bloated and ineffectual foreign aid budget, even as the NHS buckles under the strain of balancing its books - yet another policy that she opened her gaff-prone gob and announced, and couldn't see that the majority of people of a right wing disposition would be very unhappy about.

    2. Phil O'Sophical Silver badge

      Re: Interesting Times

      Bloody difficult woman? Bloody stupid woman, more like, throwing away a working majority out of pure hubris. Never mind when there'll be an election, what are the bookies offering on when we'll see PM Boris?

  5. Haku
    Facepalm

    Sadly, no more information can be derived about the party from its own site, which reads: "The server is temporarily unable to service your request due to maintenance downtime or capacity problems. Please try again later."

    Hold up a mo, are you not an IT news site?

    I somehow doubt the party's policies have changed in the last few days... https://web.archive.org/web/20170605100006/http://www.mydup.com/

    1. David Webb

      I somehow doubt the party's policies have changed in the last few days

      Most likely haven't changed in the past 100 years, never mind waybackmachine, a time machine would let you read their current manifesto, wrote on freshly cut pterodactyl skin by Ugg and Thugg.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        "freshly cut pterodactyl skin by Ugg and Thugg"

        I'm afraid as far as the DUP are concerned the Earth and Man were created in perfection 6,000 years ago by God Almighty himself. Any references to Ugg, Thugg and their assorted Dinosaur friends is Papist propaganda spread to destabilise the legitimate government of this united kingdom and its provinces.

    2. paulc

      clicking that link gives me this:

      "Your connection is not secure

      The owner of web.archive.org has configured their website improperly. To protect your information from being stolen, Firefox has not connected to this website."

    3. Wensleydale Cheese Silver badge
      Happy

      Post of the Month!

      "Hold up a mo, are you not an IT news site?

      I somehow doubt the party's policies have changed in the last few days... https://web.archive.org/web/20170605100006/http://www.mydup.com/

      As per title, I nominate this for Post of the Month.

    4. Colin Ritchie
      Windows

      Maybe someone did this again?

      http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-northern-ireland-12179367

  6. frank ly Silver badge

    Memories

    "Tim Fallon's Liberal Democrats have ruled out forming a coalition again, presumably because the party got its fingers burnt the last time."

    Also, Labour will remember how the Liberals gave them the runaround when holding coalition talks with both them and the Conservatives the last time.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Memories

      It may have been a different response if Labour + Lib Dems = Majority.

      As that wasn't a prospect either party saying they were in talks as that would have just been a big U turn on earlier announcements.

      Any coalition talks announcement would just have been a negative for both of them, so it was better to kill it off.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Memories

        "It may have been a different response if Labour + Lib Dems = Majority."

        The Liberals did that in 1974 with Labour - expecting to get PR as their reward for cooperation. They were shafted much the same as the Lib-Dems by Cameron.

  7. John Smith 19 Gold badge
    Unhappy

    But seriously...

    Aside from my ROTFLMFAO this has serious consequences. May has several options.

    Full details here

    1)Form a minority govt and agree permanent deal with DUP.

    2)Form a minority govt and negotiate to win votes on Bills on a deal-by-deal basis.

    3)Resign

    The flow charts starts to get get complex when you factor in what happens if someone decides to challenge her anyway (without a resignation first) after a leadership election. Another general election (would that pass Italy's record for # of elections in 1 year?)?. Could Labor form a minority govt? Could Michael Gove become "Triple Brutus?" (not to mention the deafening silence from Boris Johnson. You'd think someone had put a muzzle on Bozzer).

    And that's before whoever ends up in charge starts dealing with Brexit. My instinct is people within the Party will be telling her "No Teresa, you're not doing a Cameron on us. You dropped us in this s**t, you're going nowhere till it's sorted. Now pull it together and get it done."

    And of course the biggest question of all.

    Does Lynton Crosby get an election bonus for ensuring the Conservatives are still the largest party?

    Enquiring minds...

    Now I'm off to tuck into a large portion of smoked Kipper.

    1. Brewster's Angle Grinder Silver badge
      Headmaster

      Re: But seriously...

      "would that pass Italy's record for # of elections in 1 year?"

      We had two general elections in 1910 and two again in 1974.

    2. VinceH Silver badge

      Re: But seriously...

      I'm just going to leave this here.

  8. simpfeld

    DUP not good on Cloud solutions?

    Or never expected to need a scalable website?

    But then again who did?

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: DUP not good on Cloud solutions?

      DUP is very keen on smoke cloulds:

      http://www.irishtimes.com/news/environment/q-a-what-is-the-northern-ireland-cash-for-ash-scheme-1.2907866

    2. A Non e-mouse Silver badge

      Re: DUP not good on Cloud solutions?

      Putting a webserver in the cloud doesn't suddenly make it automatically scale to 10, 100 or more, times the number of visitors.

      1. Adam 52 Silver badge

        Re: DUP not good on Cloud solutions?

        The OP said:

        "DUP not good on Cloud solutions"

        And you said:

        "Putting a webserver in the cloud..."

        Which pretty much proves that you're not good on cloud solutions either. If I were hosting a website in the cloud I wouldn't use a webserver (at least not one I administer and scale myself).

  9. Pen-y-gors Silver badge

    Irritatingly smart-arse comment

    People are talking about Mayhem's pride and 'hubris' - jolly good word that. But I'm minded to dig out a lovely old Anglo-Saxon word to describe her (no, not THAT one) - ofermod. It was only used (I believe) in two contexts in Anglo-Saxon poetry, once to describe the action of Byrhtnoth at the Battle of Maldon in 981, when he allowed the invading Danes to cross a narrow bridge onto the mainland to meet his army (rather than picking them off as they crossed). His army was hammered and Byrhtnoth was killed. 'Ofermod' was used to describe his over-weening and fatal pride. The other use of the word is to describe the pride of Satan before his fall!

    May be we now have a third use!

    1. Brewster's Angle Grinder Silver badge

      Re: Irritatingly smart-arse comment

      covfefe

    2. Excellentsword
      Devil

      Re: Irritatingly smart-arse comment

      Also the name of a decent Swedish black metal band.

      1. cosmogoblin

        Re: Irritatingly smart-arse comment

        Also the name of a decent Swedish black metal band.

        What, covfefe?

      2. Doctor Syntax Silver badge

        Re: Irritatingly smart-arse comment

        "a decent Swedish black metal band"

        Of which you need several to hold together a barrel.

    3. CrazyOldCatMan Silver badge

      Re: Irritatingly smart-arse comment

      'Ofermod' was used to describe his over-weening and fatal pride.

      Ohh ohh - I get to use my favourite Saxon word (no sniggering at the back you!) - 'Nithing'.

      As in, someone not even worthy of a proper insult. A nothing. Less than a nebbish[1].

      ('Hubris' is a similar concept in ancient Greek - someone who wishes to challenge the gods, so they give him overwhelming pride so he is guarenteed to fail).

      [1] To mix my languages. Good old Yiddish :-)

  10. Version 1.0 Silver badge

    Conservatives + DUP = IRA?

    So it's all about keeping North Ireland separate again - this does not look good for the future since the DUP are going to be able to twist May's arm on any policy involving Ireland. Brexit + DUP guarantees a return to a hard border again.

    This is not going to end well.

    1. Brewster's Angle Grinder Silver badge

      Re: Conservatives + DUP = IRA?

      They've explicitly said they don't want a hard border. But they do want a hard Brexit. And they don't want a special half-in half-out status for Northern Ireland. So I think we'll just have to trust them on the border: they'll file whatever paperwork they think is appropriate and pay whatever tariffs they believe are due.

    2. Pen-y-gors Silver badge

      Re: Conservatives + DUP = IRA?

      There's some serious cognitive dissonance going on in the DUP (so, what's new)?

      They want a hard Brexit.

      They don't want a hard border to the south

      They don't want a 'border' with Great Britain.

      So, how will they stop those horrible Polish plumbers and Lithuanian chefs flying into Dublin, hoping on a train to Belfast (no passport checks) and then onto the boat to Liverpool (no passport checks). Ain't gonna work...

      1. Wandering Reader

        Re: Conservatives + DUP = IRA?

        "So, how will they stop those horrible Polish plumbers and Lithuanian chefs flying into Dublin, hoping on a train to Belfast (no passport checks) and then onto the boat to Liverpool (no passport checks)."

        It doesn't matter whether they fly into Gatwick as tourists or go the long way round via Dublin. If they want jobs, schools, benefits or the NHS they will need paperwork.

      2. Yet Another Anonymous coward Silver badge

        Re: Conservatives + DUP = IRA?

        I think the Wall (somewhere just north of Alderley Edge) will help

        1. Allan George Dyer Silver badge
          Joke

          Re: Conservatives + DUP = IRA?

          "I think the Wall (somewhere just north of Alderley Edge) will help"

          Is that Beyond the Pale?

      3. M. Poolman

        Re: Conservatives + DUP = IRA?

        It's not all the nasty foreigners that means a hard brexit will lead to a hard border, it's smuggling. If there's a difference between tax regimes between NI and Eire, then the one or other govt will have to prevent tax avoidance by imposing import duties. People not wanting to pay them (or see a lucrative opportunity selling duty-free imports on the other side of the border) will simply avoid the official border posts, if the soft border remains.

        A hard border was a massive bone of contention in the bad old days and did a lot to fuel the violence. Please don't let's go back there.

      4. ZanzibarRastapopulous

        Re: Conservatives + DUP = IRA?

        > "So, how will they stop those horrible Polish plumbers and Lithuanian chefs flying into Dublin, hoping on a train to Belfast (no passport checks) and then onto the boat to Liverpool (no passport checks). Ain't gonna work..."

        FFS It's just frustrating, we never needed to be in this mess but people kept pumping out this kind of vacuous argument that made the remain cause look groundless.

      5. Brewster's Angle Grinder Silver badge

        "So, how will they stop those horrible Polish plumbers and Lithuanian chefs flying into Dublin, hoping on a train to Belfast (no passport checks) and then onto the boat to Liverpool (no passport checks). Ain't gonna work..."

        That's what certain sections of mainland UK population may want. But how much of an issue is it in Northern Ireland? If they're just passing through, well, nice vote you're having there, Theresa; shame if something happened to it.

        I was being facetious about taking everything on trust. But the previous, deeply paranoid Home Secretary ramped up measures against illegal immigrants. These days its "papers please" before anyone can be employed, rent a house, or get treatment on the NHS; and woe betide you if you get caught serving someone who shouldn't be here.

        So movement of people across that border could, in principle, be less of an issue than the movement of goods. But clearly, whatever leverage the DUP have over the UK, doesn't extend to the EU.

        1. Yet Another Anonymous coward Silver badge

          At least now it will only be Brie smuggled north instead of Semtex

        2. Bob Rocket
          Coat

          Fear of Immigrants drives ID card acceptance

          'These days its "papers please" before anyone can be employed, rent a house, or get treatment on the NHS'

          By hook or by crook everybody in the UK will carry Official ID that has to be produced on demand by an Authorised Person, failure to comply will result in the loss of rights.

          Home Secretaries from both major parties have repeatedly attempted to overtly bring in ID cards whilst simultaneously covertly conditioning people into general acceptance.

          Task 25 for young people, right to work, right to live, right to healthcare, right to education, right to benefits, having your bins emptied, opening a bank account etc.

          Look at the number of people who have the right to demand or are compelled to demand ID these days.

          And when old farts like me point out there was never any need for IDs in the days when we all paid in cash the security threat level is raised a notch.

          I'll get me coat.

          1. John Smith 19 Gold badge
            Gimp

            Re: Fear of Immigrants drives ID card acceptance

            "Home Secretaries from both major parties have repeatedly followed the instructions of the Senior Civil Service "advisors" and attempted to overtly bring in ID cards whilst simultaneously covertly conditioning people into general acceptance."

            FTFY

      6. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Conservatives + DUP = IRA?

        re. Polish plumbers.

        why would I want to fly to Dublin, get on a ferry and then look for a (cash in hand, presumably?) job in Liverpool or other parts of this Great, Great Britain (and risk getting caught, or be told to f... off to where I came from while passing through this lovely, great Britainish coutryside), when I can hop to Germany or Demnark and get the same job done with much less travel time and for much, much better money?

        1. John Brown (no body) Silver badge

          Re: Conservatives + DUP = IRA?

          It's not the Polish plumbers, it's the illegals who for whatever reason, are aiming to get to the UK by any means possible. Would the French be all that concerned if loads of illegal immigrants suddenly disappeared, possibly in the backs of lorries bound for Ireland with little to no checks due to EU open borders, then carried on into NI through an open, soft border?

          I actually think it's likely to be minor problem, but just thought I'd throw it into the mix.

      7. Doctor Syntax Silver badge

        Re: Conservatives + DUP = IRA?

        "They want a hard Brexit.

        They don't want a hard border to the south

        They don't want a 'border' with Great Britain."

        Reminds me of the old saying. The Irish are in revolt, they don't know what they want and they won't be happy until I get it.

    3. CrazyOldCatMan Silver badge

      Re: Conservatives + DUP = IRA?

      This is not going to end well.

      Add in the fact that the Good Friday Agreement is predicated upon the UK Government being an impartial party (which they won't be if they are in (however loose) alliance with the DUP) and the situation gets even more 'interesting' (in the Chinese sense and preferrably from far away).

  11. A Non e-mouse Silver badge
    Joke

    Democracy

    Once again, the British public demonstrate that they can't be trusted with democracy.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: can't be trusted with democracy.

      ... or ElReg commentarts with up/down vote buttons? :-)

    2. Doctor Syntax Silver badge

      Re: Democracy

      "Once again, the British public demonstrate that they can't be trusted with democracy."

      Far from it. We've placed a curse on all their houses and very well deserved it is too.

  12. Andrew Moore Silver badge

    I for one...

    ...am looking forward to the introduction of the Renewable Heat Incentive into the UK...

  13. Mike Richards Silver badge

    Ulster server says NOOOOOOO!

    1. This post has been deleted by its author

    2. John Smith 19 Gold badge
      Coffee/keyboard

      " Ulster server says NOOOOOOO!"

      Genius. I wish I'd thought of that one myself.

      One of those "so obvious, but no one thought of it before" lines.

  14. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Mayday

    DUP DUP DUP!

    1. Paul Kinsler

      Re: DUP DUP DUP!

      Do you really need that many copies of the stack?

      nb: languages may differ in their implementation

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Mayday

      DUP DUP DUP D'oh D'oh D'oh DUP DUP DUP

  15. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    DUP - Dud Unelectable Politician (nowt to do with Ulster)

    Anyone consider May was just a dud choice (ala Hillary Clinton) to choose as leader in an election ?

    albeit in this case the sisterhood was poleaxed by Steptoe Marx not an Orange buffoon.

    1. Yet Another Anonymous coward Silver badge

      Re: DUP - Dud Unelectable Politician (nowt to do with Ulster)

      >Anyone consider May was just a dud choice

      The alternatives were Boris and Gove .........

      1. Doctor Syntax Silver badge

        Re: DUP - Dud Unelectable Politician (nowt to do with Ulster)

        "The alternatives were Boris and Gove"

        My guess is that Hammond will elbow the lot of them out fairly soon. And sooner if she sacks him from the cabinet.

  16. kain preacher Silver badge

    Against same sex unions check.

    Against abortion check.

    Sprinkle in a bit of Christianity and some nutters and the DUP could be the UK equivlant of republicans.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Dumbos

      Add creationism, climate-change denia,l and refusal of women's right to choose. They'd fit in well in Alabama.

      1. kain preacher Silver badge

        Re: Dumbos

        I thought that was covered by saying Christian nutters ??

    2. Doctor Syntax Silver badge

      "the DUP could be the UK equivlant of republicans."

      You clearly don't understand NI politics although "loyal to the half-crown not the Crown" had a certain resonance.

  17. cosmogoblin

    Can somebody please explain ...

    ... why Labour would be dreadful if they were beholden to the Scottish ....

    ... but Tories are just dandy when they're beholden to the Irish ...?

    1. Yet Another Anonymous coward Silver badge

      Re: Can somebody please explain ...

      A couple of small points:

      I suspect the DUP *really* don't like being called Irish.

      From next week they have access to all those nice anti-terrorist data capture laws to track down people online

      1. John Smith 19 Gold badge
        Unhappy

        "I suspect the DUP *really* don't like being called Irish."

        True. They would take severe exception to the term.

        Sein Fein OTOH....

  18. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Websites??

    What are they thinking of? Websites didn't exist in the seventeenth century. Clearly a Satanic delusion. Exorcise . Exorcise. Exorcise.

  19. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Any upside to this ?

    Theresa May has just instigated an election to swap their slim majority at a time of great national importance for a minority government in hoc to the policies of a small bunch of ulster loyalists

    (the only upside ? .. knee capping terrorists via electric drill is bound to give the Tories a boost in the polls).

    Whilst at the same time they have cemented an IRA cheerleader who could be mistaken for a urine-soaked tramp and a home secretary with a fleeting grip on reality and arithmetic as the opposition.

    Second General Election in 2017 Betting Odds: 13/8 (William Hill)

    Bojo Next PM Betting Odds: 7/4 (Ladbrokes)

    1. John Smith 19 Gold badge
      Unhappy

      "Second General Election in 2017 Betting Odds: 13/8 (William Hill)"

      Meanwhile make way for the "Coalition of Chaos" neatly underlined by the EU negotiators request to speak to "Whoever is now in charge of negotiations."

      Good luck with that.

    2. Voyna i Mor Silver badge

      Re: Any upside to this ?

      "an IRA cheerleader who could be mistaken for a urine-soaked tramp"

      By your logic the DUP is identical with the Protestant terrorists. Because Sinn Féin is not the IRA. Nowadays it's a rather respectable political party of the left, more keen on building community centres than bombing them.

      Corbyn has appeared on a platform with members of Sinn Féin. I missed the bit where he took them into a minority government to keep power.

      And the last three words go a long way, I think, to explaining part of the reason for the election result. The right wing newspapers had spent their time portraying Corbyn as much worse than that. They built him up to be a bogey man, a monster who was simultaneously a harmless loony and a dangerous terrorist.

      Then he appeared on television and people saw a guy from Chippenham who might not buy £4000 suits like Cameron but was definitely less scruffy than most of them. And thought "What's the big deal?"

      As for Abbott, she's just not as good as Bojo about deflecting when she's forgotten something. Bus? What bus? There was nothing written on the side of the bus...different interview...oh yes we made that promise and it's in our manifesto...bus, what bus? Oh well, old boy, video meliora proboque deteriora sequor as we used to say at Eton. Means "when in doubt hang from a zipwire and look a right tit". Prime Minister material.

      1. Yet Another Anonymous coward Silver badge

        Re: Any upside to this ?

        On the other hand Jonny Adair vs Boris Johnson leadership debate would be more entertaining

        1. John Smith 19 Gold badge
          Unhappy

          "On the other hand Jonny Adair vs Boris Johnson leadership debate"

          Pistols at 5m or hand to hand?

          Close up Adair looks like he could be handy with the jailhouse shank.

          PPV anyone?

      2. John Smith 19 Gold badge
        Unhappy

        "As for Abbott, she's just not as good as Bojo about deflecting when she's forgotten something."

        "Bus? What bus? There was nothing written on the side of the bus...different interview...oh yes we made that promise and it's in our manifesto...bus, what bus? Oh well, old boy, video meliora proboque deteriora sequor as we used to say at Eton. Means "when in doubt hang from a zipwire and look a right tit". Prime Minister material."

        Exactly.

        Neither is exactly MENSA material but there's just a chance Abbott might be a bit more skeptical and less willing to accept the usual Home Office BS on mass surveillance.

        Johnson "Looks like a nice guy."

        Just like Blair.

        1. Voyna i Mor Silver badge

          Re: "As for Abbott, she's just not as good as Bojo about deflecting when she's forgotten something."

          "Neither is exactly MENSA material "

          I agree with most of your post but not this. Johnson is precisely MENSA material. He got a scholarship to Eton. That isn't his problem. His problem is that he's a serial liar who has to try to remember what his last lie was on the subject, and when he can't, waffles. He's also not numerate owing to the subjects he did.

          Abbott got into Cambridge from a comp. She too is very bright. But not particularly numerate, and not practised in the ways of Pop and the Oxford Union, which are important in fitting in with the media and the HoC. I think she got exhausted and confused before the election, partly because she's carrying too much weight. So did Boris, but he's a much better waffler.

          1. Yet Another Anonymous coward Silver badge

            Re: "As for Abbott, she's just not as good as Bojo about deflecting when she's forgotten something."

            Maggie claimed that she was at a Washington briefing on Star Wars when a scientist said they would need 10^18 Watts of laser power to bring down a missile and their biggest ground based laser was 10^9 Watts.

            Some other politician announced, "fantastic we are half way there"...

            Some idea of numeracy might be a good idea in politics rather than just cheap debating tricks.

          2. John Smith 19 Gold badge
            Unhappy

            Johnson..scholarship to Eton. Abbott got into Cambridge from a comp.

            Point taken, although they certainly wear their learning lightly. Classics for Johnson and History for Abbott.

            I found this little nugget on Johnson in his Wikipedia most interesting.

            "He began his career in journalism at The Times but was sacked for falsifying information. He later became The Daily Telegraph's Brussels correspondent, with his articles exerting a strong influence on growing Eurosceptic sentiment among the British right-wing."

            It's easy to picture him saying to friends asking about this job "The jobs a piece of p**s. The reader's will believe anything about Brussels so I just tell them what they want to hear*"

            Confirmation bias anyone? Perhaps time to check through his old "reportage" and see how grounded it all was?

            *This is of course fake news.

      3. CrazyOldCatMan Silver badge

        Re: Any upside to this ?

        people saw a guy from Chippenham

        Corbyn is from Chippenham? I *knew* there was something dodgy about him..

  20. adnim Silver badge
    Unhappy

    Sigh

    Allegedly forward thinking (they say what they think will earn a vote) UK political party beg the help of religious fundamental nutjobs in order to form a parliament.

  21. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Boris Johnson for PM!

    That is all ...

  22. Winkypop Silver badge
    Devil

    Tories and Christian nut jobs

    What could go wrong?

  23. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Is it just me...

    Who thinks the DUP leader Arlene Foster has a face tailor made to play a warder in one of those "Women's prison" movies?

    You know, the one who, in between taking her cut from the "Godmothers" who run the prison, is always ready to welcome the younger, prettier inmates to "The Big House" and explain how they can make their stay easier on themselves with her help.

    Just an impression. Being the DUP leader I'm sure she's actually happily married with some great kids.

    1. Miss Lincolnshire

      Re: Is it just me...

      There's plenty to dislike about Foster's party without it resorting to personal abuse

  24. Miss Lincolnshire
    Gimp

    Never, Never, Never

    So, question for all those Tory voters that bought Fallon's hyperbolic guff and voted to keep terrorist sympathisers out of government.

    How'd that go?

    It's not a Gimp it's a Balaclava

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