back to article Nuns chastise Google and Eric names Larry greatest human alive

Nuns calling for greater transparency over "dark money" lobbying practices, Larry Page being hailed by Eric Schmidt as one of the greatest humans alive today, and extreme gender pay disparity. Yep, it's the Alphabet Annual Meeting of Shareholders! Kicking off the yearly get-together of various investors, Schmidt was on …

  1. Your alien overlord - fear me

    "pay equally across genders" - ah, I see Alphabet's problem. They don't realise the girls are also a gender which is why there is so much bro-mance in Silicon Valley.

    1. lglethal Silver badge

      weasel words are weasel words...

      "pay equally across genders"

      "Yeah i mean we pay all the men the same, and then we pay all the women the same. You dont actually expect us to pay both the men AND the women the same, do you?"

      1. Yet Another Anonymous coward Silver badge

        Re: weasel words are weasel words...

        "pay equally across genders"

        Nuns are hardly blameless when it comes to equal employment rights

        1. David 132 Silver badge

          Re: weasel words are weasel words...

          "My father was a nun."

          "No he wasn't, Baldrick."

          "He was too! Whenever he was in court, and the judge would ask his occupation, he'd always reply 'nun'..."

  2. frank ly

    Nuns

    Those clothes are not nuns' habits and I'm fairly sure those women are not real nuns.

    (I used to travel from a train station that was close to a convent. I've seen a few nuns in my time.)

    1. Arthur the cat Silver badge
      Holmes

      Re: Nuns

      Those clothes are not nuns' habits and I'm fairly sure those women are not real nuns.

      Have a suitable icon.

      1. CrazyOldCatMan Silver badge

        Re: Nuns

        @Arthurthecat:

        Have a suitable icon

        And some catnip[1]. Caaatttnippp..

        [1] There is no [1]. I blame the catnip.

      2. David 132 Silver badge
        Happy

        Re: Nuns

        Perks of working for The Register, #47*:

        - You can search the image library for "sexy nuns" on company time, without anyone raising an eyebrow.

        *see also: vast amounts of money, groupies, adulation, rock star status among journalists

    2. WolfFan Silver badge

      Re: Nuns

      Some of us went to schools infested by large numbers of nuns. Large numbers of large nuns. Large numbers of very large nuns who could play on the defensive lines of any NFL team, except that the NFL wouldn't allow them to use their 18" steel rulers to enforce their wills. http://www.gocomics.com/9chickweedlane/2017/04/24

      1. Yet Another Anonymous coward Silver badge

        Re: Nuns

        Real nuns also have better mustaches

        1. jake Silver badge
      2. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Nuns

        I had one nun that carried a meter stick like a katana. I'm pretty sure that she could use it like one. Come to think about it she might of had a pair of steel rulers behind her back like Tanto's

    3. Siskris

      Re: Nuns

      Checking out their website, the real nuns don't wear habits or makeup.

      They are, however, women to be reckoned with and not afraid to speak out for justice.

      1. kain preacher Silver badge

        Re: Nuns

        Yes they are real nuns. Oh they piss a shit load of people off when then went in to a catholic church and took communion.

  3. Steve Davies 3 Silver badge

    Doing more and more evil

    The new Alphabet/Google motto.

    How they have changed.

    Look out Apple your crown as the most hated/evil company could be under threat.

    1. fishman

      Re: Doing more and more evil

      Apple? I thought it was Microsoft.

      I guess I didn't get the memo......

      1. RyokuMas Silver badge
        Facepalm

        Re: Doing more and more evil

        Somehow "I told you so" really doesn't quite say it...

      2. MrDamage

        Re: Doing more and more evil

        > "Apple? I thought it was Microsoft.

        I guess I didn't get the memo......"

        I didn't get the memo either. When did EA lose top spot?

        1. jake Silver badge

          Re: Doing more and more evil

          I know Environmental Assessment is almost universally hated, but I didn't think it was quite that high up on the ol' listie.

  4. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    "one of the most extraordinary human beings alive today"

    Pass the sick bag... We are the Native People's now...

    =======================

    https://www.theguardian.com/technology/2016/may/02/google-microsoft-pact-antitrust-surveillance-capitalism

    =======================

    http://www.faz.net/aktuell/feuilleton/debatten/the-digital-debate/shoshana-zuboff-secrets-of-surveillance-capitalism-14103616.html

    =======================

    https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2016/may/01/profits-perils-drilling-data-oil-surveillance-online-information

    =======================

  5. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    There's no good reason

    Google/Alphabet needs to disassociate itself from nuns immediately because of the reputational damage they are likely to cause it. You know, being associated with false imprisonment, forced adoptions, taking property/land by deception.

    Nuns: not to be trusted and I don't think it's a few bad apples. They're the untouchable habited Taliban.

  6. nijam

    ...aggressive lobbying ...

    Well, religious organisations are far from innocent in the regard. But then they've been practising for over a millenium.

  7. Nimby
    FAIL

    What the **** is "pay equality"?

    Everywhere that I have ever worked (with one exception) has never had any such concept as "pay equality". You negotiate your contract to hire and bleed your employer as much as you can / dare. Over the years, as necessary, you kick them in the *** for a raise. If any two employees ever had the same pay, it was purely by accident. And they would never know it, because for some reason (that I never understood) what you are paid is a closely guarded secret taken to your grave, lest Bob from Accounting find out that he's been played a sucker. Point is, pay has always been, and likely will always be, performance driven. Work hard, demand hard, and still get underpaid ... but at least less underpaid than the losers around you. Who gives a **** if you do or do not have a pair of ****? What have you done for the company lately above and beyond the same thing that everyone else does? And when was the last time that you stood up for yourself? That's all that has ever mattered. Anyone who whinges otherwise is probably expecting something for nothing. Or works for the government.

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