back to article Axed from IBM for remote working? Don't go crying to HPE

Chalk up Hewlett Packard Enterprise as being among the crop of tech giants demanding workers clock in at an office every day. CEO Meg Whitman told El Reg on Wednesday that in order to right the ship at her newly severed enterprise company, employees need to be on premises and able to get together in meatspace. "When you're in …

  1. Number6

    When I know I've got a long commute home, I tend to be out the door promptly as much as possible so as not to eat into my personal time. When I'm working from home, end time is a lot more relaxed, and the time I'd otherwise be spending unproductively sitting in a traffic jam I will often spend working. So, 8 hours in the office v 10 at home for the same money? Which one is likely to give more output?

    Not that I'd ever seriously consider working for either IBM or HPE.

    1. K Silver badge
      FAIL

      Agreed..

      My concern is other CEO's look at this and suspect IBM must have identified a method of increase productivity, then follow suite.

      Would be rather depressing, especially after I've just started a role that allows me to work from home a couple of times a week.

      1. HmmmYes Silver badge

        Any CEO who thinks IBM or HPE offer any lesson other than how not to run a company needs shooting.

        But ... they are probably the same MoronBA alumni.

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          MBA - FTFY :-)

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      yeah fsck both those companies

      >Not that I'd ever seriously consider working for either IBM or HPE.

      That is sure a double no sh1t. Can also pretty much say I have known that for at least a decade from my interactions with either company's staff and good ole El Reg. Difference between my current company and either one of these is we are hitting record revenue and profits nearly every quarter and not using stock buy back gimmicks to hang on for dear life as we become irrelevant. If our CEO flies in a helicopter we would be like who cares or even more likely cheering him on to go knock it out of the park on some big deal like he has been doing for many years.

    3. Steelted

      Buckle up mates! These two companies are doomed!

      1. AMBxx Silver badge

        Be easier if they just merged. Get rid of both in one go. Dinosaurs posing as tech companies

    4. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      One of my relatives worked for a well known IT company for years in the UK. He ended up working from home full time and almost never had to go into an office. His boss was in the USA. He moved "home" to a Caribbean island and cut all UK ties, sold his home, etc. so became UK income tax exempt.. His work were none the wiser, and it meant an even easier life as he was closer in local time to his boss!

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Still doing it too.

        Isn't life great ?

    5. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Horses for courses

      > "If your business is up and to the right, people can telework all year long," Whitman says. "When you are in the middle of a turnaround, you need to come into an office."

      Leaving aside that a growing number of significant companies do not have offices as such (e.g., GitLab), or well-established remote collaboration methods, e.g., IRC, which have produced things such as Linux, and much of what forms part of the Linux ecosystem, yes, it is possible that in certain corporate cultures remote working does not work.

      Especially in "corporate" type companies where being seen and looking busy is a lot more important to, ahem, personal career development, than getting things done. Definitely don't want to be teleworking on one of those.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Horses for courses

        Leaving aside that a growing number of significant companies do not have offices as such (e.g., GitLab), or well-established remote collaboration methods, e.g., IRC, which have produced things such as Linux, and much of what forms part of the Linux ecosystem, yes, it is possible that in certain corporate cultures remote working does not work.

        Especially in "corporate" type companies where being seen and looking busy is a lot more important to, ahem, personal career development, than getting things done. Definitely don't want to be teleworking on one of those.

        Well we *are* talking about IBM and HPE, two major companies competing in the "who will go tits-up first" Olympics. Just waiting for the day when one of those opensource "startups" buys up IBM and immediately chops it up into little pieces to sell (keeping the one little worthwhile piece). Don't see that happening with HPE as there's *nothing* worthwhile in that stinkhole. After all, they have the former CEO of fleaBay running it.

  2. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    "Digital tools are great, but having a conversation face-to-face is a faster means to an end," she said.

    So how does that work in a global company which has people working on the same project in India, Germany, Britain, East Coast and in California?

    It f*** does not. Unless everything, but the tail of the list is treated as scum with no voice, no say and no contribution to the cause of joyous Californicating. Righting the company my arse.

  3. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Absolutely!

    When working at home I took the time of one commute ...Co. got the other (so free hours)

    How does the colaboration crap square with off/right shore model?

    Just an excuse to lose heads

  4. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Bunch of dinosaurs who haven't even realised they are dead yet... operating in in old world consulting and outsourcing model.

  5. Doctor Syntax Silver badge

    So really all that world-wide collaboration that's supposed to have produced Linux is just a stunt. It must be a group of grunts crowded into a cubicle farm because you couldn't do it any other way.

    1. Florida1920 Silver badge

      Not only Linux

      world-wide collaboration

      The list is almost endless. Can't understand why, when companies are failing, managers always blame the workers. And guess which one gets the big payoff when shown the door. Didn't Marissa Mayer impose the same rules at Yahoo! ?

      1. Korev Silver badge

        Re: Not only Linux

        I believe so, along with having a nursery built next door to her office so she could care for her child thus eliminating the childcare hassle which is why many parents like working remotely.

      2. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Not only Linux

        You are not a worker, you are a resource. When will you learn to do as I say? ;-)

        1. Voland's right hand Silver badge

          Re: Not only Linux

          You are not a worker, you are a resource.

          You just insulted a resource. In fact a whole bunch of them. You need to be checked for management potential (*)

          (*)Apologies to Scott Adams for the obvious plagiarism

  6. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Sr. Network Engineer

    It's managers who don't know how to handle their remote staff. You need to still do all the things a good manager would do in the office, but do it remotely. Most managers avoid communicating with staff who are remote unless it's via email.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Sr. Network Engineer

      "Most managers avoid communicating."

      FTFY.

      After all, why communicate when you can rely on metrics and numbers for any decisions, rather than the wisdom and experience of the employees.

  7. Dwarf Silver badge

    Giving flexibility gets flexibility

    When a company gives the trust and flexibility for people to work remotely, they often get a lot more back - in extended working times for example, I'll happily trade some of my normal travel time for work time as overall, I gain personal time and flexibility.

    Similarly, if there is something to finish off, then if I'm working remotely, the problem of having to run for a train or leaving to miss a traffic hot spot isn't an issue any more, so you can work until its done and meet that deliverable deadline.

    If I'm remote, then I can work around things with more flexibility, for example getting a hair cut or walking the dog between rain showers whilst I wait for that international call with the customer in some remote part of the world that's outside of my normal time zone - it makes absolutely no difference as long as I deliver the working day and get the work done - since it should all be about what is done, rather than how or where.

    If they are worried about the workers vs shirkers problem is the same if people are in the office as when they are not, so measuring work output is a simple way to figure which pool the person is in.

    Then there is the working environment - my home office is set up much better than the cramped basic desk and cheap corporate IT components, its also a lot quieter than the open plan offices, so I can concentrate more and be on calls without everyone having to mute all the time to block the background noise.

    The other big point is that companies were dropping office space due to the cost overhead of car parks and floor space to make themselves more competitive. How many of us asked for them to pay for our home office set up or to support it ? How much does it really cost for them to buy you a headset and provide you with a Lync/Skype (or whatever its called this week) and configure for help desk remote control when its necessary - its peanuts compared to the office space !!

    Come on corporates, wake up to where your real assets are and start treating the work force like the grownups they are,

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Giving flexibility gets flexibility

      One upvote is not enough sir. You are a steely eyed missile man, and no mistake.

  8. sorry, what?
    WTF?

    "When you're in a turnaround, making decisions in real time, conference calls don't work,"

    Well, she's obviously working with a bunch of incompetent people if they can't handle webex/skype for biz/BT meetme or other systems that support ad hoc conferencing, and as was said by another commentard, they obviously can't operate as a global business. Tee double-you a tea.

  9. a_yank_lurker Silver badge

    Another Deckchair Shulller

    First, one will be collaborating with others around the world and will need to talk with them. For example I have been on conference calls with colleagues in Scotland and South Africa and I am in the US. Obviously, no competent manager is going to authorize travel when 30 - 60 minutes on WebEx gets the job done. Where I was sitting does not matter (office or home office) only that I have access to the right tools.

    Second, morale is critical to any organization but especially to one that is struggling. High morale is probably as important if ignored part of any turnaround. The staff has to buy in to what needs to be done. Treating them as children is not going to cut it.

    Third, many above have pointed out the inherent flexibility the home workers have. If they need to step out or do an errand they can plus not worrying about traffic means they are more relaxed and can easily work over without a major problem.

    Fourth, companies that are too concerned about where one physically is have serious mismanagement problems at the top. They should be concerned about the amount and quality of work being done not where the arse is.

  10. Notas Badoff

    Missing the point

    "... that in order to right lighten the ship at her newly severed enterprise company, employees need ..."

    Isn't that much clearer now?

    .

    Microsoft/IBM/HP are where they are now because of where their best (former) employees are now...

  11. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    The HP Way: The problem is banning the solution

    The old HP became a globalized entity, with R&D spread around the world, and sales teams selling into a global marketplace. That HP ran into problems, and hired the wrong person(Carly) as part of applying the wrong solution to the wrong problem. Layoffs ensued. When that didn't work, HP tried again. When the new solution (Hurd) started to treat the rudderless mass of HPs fossilized middle management as a problem, Layoffs ensued. The startled Eunochs of the forbidden city then poured poison into his ear in the night, leading to a new solution(Apotheker). He tried unsuccessfully to turn HP into SAP and shed billions off their stock value. Layoffs ensued. The powers that be then chose another Carly, in the form of former ebayer Meg Whitman, who's main accomplishment seems to be in doing one of the things they fired Leo for.

    The claim that cutting remote workers is because the company is in "Turnaround" is funny for a few reasons. The company has spent more years in turnaround since the y2k then not. Another is HP's own statement of "the HP way', which does not state thou shall run the ineffectual middle managers playbook from 2002.

    For giggles: The HP Way

    1. We have trust and respect for individuals.

    (But not enough to trust remote workers to log into an online meeting on-time)

    2. We focus on a high level of achievement and contribution.

    (But put the company in the hands of those with a track record of underachievement)

    3. We conduct our business with uncompromising integrity.

    (Firing Hurd was uncompromising, but HP has had its ethical conundrums, like surveilling employees)

    4. We achieve our common objectives through teamwork.

    (But only if it happens in the same office as management, which fears phones and webcams, See #4)

    5. We encourage flexibility and innovation.

    (Like you being flexible about the drive in when we hired you to a telecommuting position)

    Oh, and spare yourselves the legal headaches HP, this post wasn't sent from Palo Alto, call the molehunters off.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: The HP Way: The problem is banning the solution

      The HP Way was abandoned when Carly turned up. Up until then it was relevant and adhered to.

  12. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    "When you're in a turnaround, making decisions in real time, conference calls don't work"

    Two things -

    - If HP is making business decisions in less than the time that it takes to dial into a conference line, that explains a lot.

    - They know there are web conferencing applications that allow face to face video, screen sharing, etc, right? You would think a technology company would want to use technology.d

  13. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    come into office so we can lay you off...

    Having employees on-site makes it easier to spring a surprise layoff on a department and verify that everyone is "under control" of extra hired security to oversee you packing your office and being walked out.

  14. FozzyBear Silver badge
    Devil

    "When you're in a turnaround, making decisions in real time, conference calls don't work,"

    Congratulations MEG, You have reached new levels of hypocrisy.

    Either that or what we should be taking from this statement is that you have no confidence in your staff or that Remote conferencing solutions, such as those you sell, are a white elephant and not worth the investment.

    Alternatively you are just one of the overpaid MBA money whores who are more interested in grabbing the yearly bonus rather than making decisions for the benefit of the company.

  15. Steve Davies 3 Silver badge

    Next it will be ...

    Everyone will work on HP time... i..e. West Coast USA time. Then all those so important decisions can be made with everyone present.

    Perhaps it should be Indian time as (like IBM) all the development is done there. 13.5hours from the west coast.

    She's just making sure that her exit package goals are met so that she'll get paid in Platinum. Then she'll run for office... {please no}

    1. GruntyMcPugh Silver badge

      Re: Next it will be ...

      "Everyone will work on HP time"

      You jest, but a former colleague of mine was asked to do this, just before they changed their mind and made him redundant instead. (This wasn't with HP, I should add, but he does work in IT)

  16. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    No problem getting a desk to sit at though

    Because of all the staff laid off over the past four years, you can pretty must sit where you like in the office now and pick the best hardware available from the pile of desktops, laptops and monitors in the corner.

  17. Dan 55 Silver badge

    Most of the people on my team are in different countries

    And it makes no difference where I am as I'd need to use e-mail and Lync anyway.

    And I guess the same is true in IBM and HPE too.

    The thing is once Yahoo, IBM, and HPE have these great ideas it sets the ball rolling for CxOs in other companies to have them. If it happens in mine it won't improve my morale.

    1. Adelio

      Re: Most of the people on my team are in different countries

      The only issue I have is Lync.

      I have been using that P.O.S for the past three months to liase with the U.S.A.. Sometimes it works, sometimes not. Sometimes it works to start with and then stops and I have to switch to a Phone.

      Not really an enterprise solution.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Most of the people on my team are in different countries

        "Not really an enterprise solution."

        Lync (Skype for business) works perfectly, and it has major advantages over the competition in high jitter / packet loss situations.

        What you really mean that you don't have an enterprise class implementation or enterprise class support fixing your issues...

        1. Dan 55 Silver badge

          Re: Most of the people on my team are in different countries

          Bollocks. It's pretty crappy where I am too. And if it so much as loses one packet it has a funny turn, telling me that messages may or may not have got through.

          If WhatsApp tells you when it's been sent, received, and read, why can't Lync?

          1. Anonymous Coward
            Anonymous Coward

            Re: Most of the people on my team are in different countries

            "And if it so much as loses one packet it has a funny turn, telling me that messages may or may not have got through."

            That's nothing to do with lost packets. That's because the application was in the background on the remote mobile device and the recipient didn't immediately look at the message when they received the push notification. The actual message is "“This message may not have been delivered to <recipient> because the server sent the message to this person but it timed out.”"

            "If WhatsApp tells you when it's been sent, received, and read, why can't Lync?"

            Frequently requested function, but apparently it has privacy concerns in many situations. Vote for it here https://www.skypefeedback.com/forums/299913-generally-available/suggestions/10173606-user-has-read-message

            1. Dan 55 Silver badge

              Re: Most of the people on my team are in different countries

              1) It also happens when they are on desktop. And are you seriously telling me that on mobile of all places where there's a high chance of patchy coverage, Lync can't cope if a message is not immediately downloaded by the app?

              2) There may be a case for not displaying if the message has been read or not, but not sent or received. That long-winded message above has just told me it hasn't been received yet. Or sent properly. Or something went wrong, and I'm left copying and pasting the same text (C&P doesn't always work either) and sending it again, wondering if I look like an idiot if the recipient gets two or more messages on their client or two or more messages copied over to e-mail (another worthless Lync feature).

        2. HmmmYes Silver badge

          Re: Most of the people on my team are in different countries

          Lync work perfectly ....

          No it doesn't.

          if they kept it as a simple IM/VOIP cleint that it ought to have been fine.

          It does other sutff to.

          I did have a look to see what it was up to. Lync then was snooping around COM and files.

          Lynx is shit. It really is.

      2. HmmmYes Silver badge

        Re: Most of the people on my team are in different countries

        Wow! Lync works sometimes for you..

        I take my hat off to your IT dept.

        mine barely works, crashes, brings down my computer.

        Its afucking VOIP client. How of earth can MS fuck it up so much?

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: Most of the people on my team are in different countries

          "mine barely works, crashes, brings down my computer."

          I don't think I have ever seen Lync crash across various pretty major company installs in versions from 2010 to 2016

          I also don't think I have seen a single application crashing bring down a computer since Windows Vista.

          I think the question is more how can your IT dept. screw it up so much?

  18. fargonebastage
    Facepalm

    Distraction

    I often see the argument that the worker has more distraction at home. Speaking from personal experience I have quite a bit less distraction at home. I can ignore queries from coworkers for a few moments when I am remote look up what I may need to and give them a concise answer. In the office I am confronted with noise and immediate distraction from those looking for assistance.

    This decision by these large corporations is short sighted based on numbers on executive reports often sanitized by middle management with no real substantiation.

    Unfortunately as someone else mentioned other companies will look at these decisions and base their policies on them. With IBM and HP spreading FUD that home workers are irresponsible, lazy slackers their customers may stop purchasing equipment and turnkey solutions to enable remote workers.

    1. Anonymous South African Coward Silver badge

      Re: Distraction

      More often than not when I need to concentrate on something, some $person walks up to me and start whining.

      Which causes me to lose concentration, and then I have to go and help/assist said $person.

      When I return, I then need extra time to gather my thoughts again, find out just where I was before $coitus_interruptus and proceed from there.

      Making a mistake during this process is easy.

      So. The argument that home workers are easily distracted is utter bulldust.

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Distraction

      As an old school techie I'm so gross and smelly you want me to work from home. Could it be that being able to see staff face to face allows management to identify those over 40 for culling more easily?

  19. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Reality compared to theory

    I used to work for HP. Distant upper management used their email missives to tell us all that we'd have to return to working in the Bracknell office. Everyone ignore them. Nothing was done. Bracknell was (and still is) often close to empty.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Reality compared to theory

      Same at North Harbour.

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Reality compared to theory

      Ditto HP Bristol. Also mainly empty. So they closed it down..

      Still, were I still working for them, id be maxing the travel exes.

  20. Mr Nobody 1

    Good luck selling those collaboration solutions. You just failed Question 1.

  21. Miss Lincolnshire

    Tyrannosaurus Meg

    Despite living only 7 miles away the I rarely went into my HPE office. The last time was to hand in my laptop after I'd had the email confirming my VR payments were agreed. The place was like the Marie Celeste such were the swingeing cuts that this parasite has overseen.

    Talk of people being unproductive is nonsense, we are all over 18, we all have a work ethic and if we weren’t trusted we’d never have been given the bandwidth to work remotely in the first place. With us all working on disparate projects across many accounts what is the point of driving to an office to sit with people that you are not working with? A colleague of mine was forced to drive into Telford from Coventry, around 75 miles each way, to sit on Skype all day talking to people in Erskine. He’s gone too because the reality is that Whitman has used "back to the office" as a shoddy tool for justifying mass job losses, forced relocations and generating VR applications from disillusioned staff.

    It makes me laugh when she talks about turning the company around. She has done nothing but split it and sell to get her bonus payouts. It’s a husk.

    As another poster says HPE is a dinosaur that hasn't realised it's dead yet.

  22. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Yabba dabba doo another dino!

  23. kmac499

    How dumb can some of these mega-CEOs get.

    You're trying to run a tech company, where the vast majority of the true asset value of the company is in the heads of the staff. You're job is to encourage and enthuse them not piss them off,

    I also agree with the earlier comment, that pointed out, if you need to make decisions in short almost instant timeframes, then you are in serious shit or just planning to make reckless choices.

  24. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Pissing off your staff is one thing, but when word goes round that you love to piss staff off, you'll only get the bottom scrapings of the barrel as workforce.

  25. Big_Boomer

    WFH increases productivity

    I WFH one or two days a week and on those days I get between 50 and 100% more actual work done than when in the office. To be fair, in the office I am also mentoring newer staff but the constant distractions and interruptions have a HUGE effect on my productivity. I have pointed out my increase in productivity and my managers agree that me WFH is good for me, the company, and our customers.

    Now if you have people WFH who are slacking or being less productive, then that is a management failure. What you managers need to do is remove the right to WFH **for that individual** rather than punish everyone for the laziness/screwups of one of a few people.

  26. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Mostly pointless...

    Other than having a complete project team present in an office, which would be useful and efficient, there is not much point in insisting everyone attends an office. My experience of being in the office is that many sit all day wearing Skype headsets on calls to those in other locations much as they would (and could) do at home.

    How long is Meg going to keep banging on about this semi-mythical turnaround? Perhaps she's forgotten that back in 2012 she promised to turn around HP (all of it) and have it growing by 2016...

    1. Miss Lincolnshire

      Re: Mostly pointless...

      The only company that Whitless has grown is CSC

  27. Velv Silver badge
    Childcatcher

    Do your staff work hard when they're working from home?

    NSFW

    Mitchell & Webb sum it up

    NSFW

    1. returnofthemus

      Do your staff work hard when they're working from home?

      Do they heck, they just pretend they do?

      I'm working from home today and look what I'm doing, in fact I've just come back from an extended lunch break at the pub, checked to see if their have been any important emails, nothing!

      In fact, I think I'm going to call it a day and go sit in the garden, after all it's Friday :-)

  28. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Aruba

    Funny that I as a potential customer am being fed an ad for Aruba while reading this.

    Try running an offshored business during normal work hours from an office, it doesn't work. I regularly start early for the far east and India as well as finish late for the US. In between I deal with EMEA. To think we voted for Brexit and jobs are now going abroad.

  29. Grunt #1

    All empires fall

    Horace Smith's "Ozymandias"

    In Egypt's sandy silence, all alone,

    Stands a gigantic Leg, which far off throws

    The only shadow that the Desert knows:—

    "I am great OZYMANDIAS," saith the stone,

    "The King of Kings; this mighty City shows

    "The wonders of my hand."— The City's gone,—

    Nought but the Leg remaining to disclose

    The site of this forgotten Babylon.

    We wonder,—and some Hunter may express

    Wonder like ours, when thro' the wilderness

    Where London stood, holding the Wolf in chace,

    He meets some fragment huge, and stops to guess

    What powerful but unrecorded race

    Once dwelt in that annihilated place.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: All empires fall

      Do let Google and Facebook know that their time will surely come! I think Apple are seeing that dawn of long term decline. Ditto Dell EMC.

  30. Kevin Johnston

    Damn right it is down to good managers

    In a previous life I was a field service engineer and if I was not at a customer site I was not making money for the company and had little activity I could be involved in.

    One glorious sunny summer Friday lunchtime my manager was talking to me and said 'This is the sort of day to be walking a golf course and not sat in an office'. Taking the very broad hint I laid out a sequence of things I needed to do in other buildings and his response was 'See you Monday'. The flip side, when he called me on a Saturday morning to ask me to fly out to a customer in Jordan the next day for two weeks I said 'what flight?'

    So many problems all come down to managers either not understanding their role or not being allowed to step outside of the box

  31. JJKing Silver badge
    Flame

    Microsoft originality "Buy the company".

    How of earth can MS fuck it up so much?

    Um, because they are Microsoft! I think you could list on one hand what they have created, the rest they obtained from buying out the original creators or by doing what they did to the guy who wrote their initial web browser.

  32. Marty McFly
    Thumb Up

    Productivity

    Corporate America decided to close the office nearest to me, and I was sent to work from home. I am more productive now than I ever was in the office. Not only do I feel more productive, my metrics stand out against my remaining office based peers.

    The fact is, when I do go visit an office, there are so many side conversations & distractions that it is difficult to get work done. And while it is important to interact with co-workers on a recurring basis, too much interaction detracts from the presumed productivity gains.

    Besides... It is 2017 with oodles of connectivity. Wise companies can hire the best & the brightest with no regard to where their butt is actually located. And, they can shop outside 'The Valley' getting in to much cheaper labor pools.

  33. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Call centre management approach to knowledge worker professionals

    TUPE'd to HP ES 5 years ago and have never seen a bigger shambles from the top down. Stuck it for 2 years before making the jump and never looked back.

    IBM and HP are trying to manage professionals like minimum wage call centre staff (and I've been one so this isn't snobbery). Treat workers like infants and they will act like it. Trust professionals and they will deliver.

    I delivered a multinational transformation project without meeting 90% of the team in person because we didnt need to (and they were spread across Europe).

    Presenteeism at it's finest from IBM and HP. Twunts...

  34. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    The WFH jokers. Pretending to work and doing another job. How many people at Yahoo were running start-ups and claiming a full wage?

    You'd have to be a very isolated role to be able to work from home more than a couple if times a week, max.

    These people are supposed to be creating innovative technology. What while they drink tea and wankimg from home.

    Get to work you lazy twats.

    1. GruntyMcPugh Silver badge

      I guess you work in sales and go into the office so it feels like you have some friends?

  35. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    You can tell

    They're backwards looking rather than embracing the future and steering towards mutually beneficial arrangements.

    With better broadband speeds available to most, it would be trivial to set up virtual office space with remote workers appearing on screens in the office & vice versa. With always on two way audio, it would remedy the often incorrect assumption that those working remotely are slackers and deliver real time collaboration where needed.

    After 20+ years commuting for 2.5-3 hours a day, the last 6 years of my stint in a large corporation (one that often used its own products to promote teleworking) was wfh. I'd never been as productive. Alas the few who do slack and spoil it for the many along with the powers that be, put an end to pretty much all teleworking.

    I decided the effects of 10-12 hour days + the commute on my pre-existing heart condition was no longer worth it & I chucked it in. I'm self employed now. & although earning less than a quarter of what I did previously, I'm happier for it. Money isn't everything as the saying goes. As long as you've enough to cover the basics.

  36. HurdImpropriety

    Load of bullcr$p

    Load of bullcr$p that Meg is...

    As a former employee of HP at the Marlborough, MA facility I can tell you that the company had installed seat sensors at the facility, yes to detect employees actually sitting in their seats. So nothing that HP/Meg does surprises me. HP is a joke and one of the big companies that practiced the horrid "Rank and Yank" employee ranking system. Yet another way to get rid of 5% of the workforce.

    Thankfully Microsoft, HP, Computer Associates, GE realized that "Rank and Yank" was demoralizing all employees. It is funny how these big corporations always seem to come up with ways to make employees miserable.

  37. Doctor Huh?

    And buried in the story...

    So the Megster has been at HP for 6 years now, and the company is still circling the bowl.

    I guess that is an achievement of sorts, but still.

    There may be an argument for "all hands on deck," but not if you are just going to have them rearrange the chairs.

  38. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Imagine a world...

    Imagine having to get your arse out of bed, put some clothes on and go to work everyday for 8-10 hours rather than just sit on a bridge for a few calls, write a couple of slides and then run your start-up on the side, pick up the kids, watch TV. Not forgetting to claim your full pay check.

    Sounds outrageous. Inhumane.

    Nobody would every do that.

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