back to article Every time Apple said 'machine learning', we had a drink andsgd oh*][

While touting forthcoming operating system features at its annual developer conference on Monday, Apple made sure to mention machine learning and related AI-oriented terminology over and over. Kevin Lynch, technology veep, talked about Siri, Apple's personal assistant software, becoming more proactive and more aware of watchOS …

  1. Brenda McViking
    WTF?

    iDonbilivit

    El Reg actually got an invite to an Apple event? Pull the other one!

    Ow, no, not that one, it's cybernetic and it's supposed to be learning...

    1. SuccessCase

      Re: iDonbilivit

      Through the wonders of the internet you can watch the livestream of the Keynote event.

  2. Shadow Systems Silver badge

    A few questions...

    1. How many times did they say those words?

    2. What were you drinking? (This makes a HUGE difference in the final results of how much alcohol consumed.)

    3. Did anyone bother to hold up the cardboard sign on a stick that read "BULLSHIT!" every time they said it?

    Just wondering...

    <Inserts a giant, neon, fifty meter tall, blinking sarcasm tag so nobody can claim otherwise>

  3. Brian Miller

    "Machine learning" not new

    Obligatory XKCD

    Why in the world are so many jumping on the "machine learning" buzz wagon? It's called "collecting and processing data." The only difference is that now we have YUGE piles of data, and if we apply a neural network, then we have no idea how the machine came up with the answer in the first place.

    Progress!

    1. allthecoolshortnamesweretaken

      Re: "Machine learning" not new

      1. Collect big pile of data.

      2. Use neural network to process data.

      3. Tweak network so that results turn out "right", i.e. convenient.

      4. Profit! *

      * For a while, and for a few. At some point in the future, the will be a huge pile of crap to clear away, but who cares?

    2. Sealand

      Re: "Machine learning" not new

      Doesn't matter. We all know the answer is 42.

    3. jimbo60

      Re: "Machine learning" not new

      Buzzword, dude.

  4. Dan 55 Silver badge

    Machine learning is better

    When the alternative is artificial intelligence which not a few companies would be peppering their presentations with.

  5. theN8

    ++?????++ Out of Cheese Error. Redo From Start.

    Every time I imagine "Machine Learning" I picture Hex from UU whirring away, spitting out reems of parchment as bees buzz around.

    Sadly, the reality is somewhat of a let-down!!

  6. John Smith 19 Gold badge
    Terminator

    does anyone remember the Jack Williams novels of advanced robots

    They beat the competition because they can draw on the computing power of a huge (fixed) data centre to do the tricky stuff (which included walking and voice recognition IIRC).

    The robots politely (but firmly) restrain humans from any risky or hazardous activities.

    The human race is now trapped by its own creations in a permanent open prison of its own making.

  7. deadlockvictim Silver badge

    Let me get this right

    Apple said at an Apple event that we know what you will want.

    Trust us.

    1. jmarked

      Re: Let me get this right

      It may take some time for them to prove it.

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