back to article 'Odour' from AnalTech ramming leads to hazmat team callout

An American company implausibly named AnalTech – no, really – has been slammed hard enough for a hazardous materials response team to be called out to deal with the smell. A pick-up truck ploughed through the wall of AnalTech, which insists it is an analytical technology firm, early on Tuesday morning, as reported by Delaware …

  1. Pen-y-gors Silver badge

    trading under the name iChromatography ?

    Oooh, sounds like they have some association with You Know Who - very bad for the reputation! They should stick to AnalTech.

    1. PNGuinn
      Facepalm

      Re: trading under the name iChromatography ?

      Oh noes - the name's out now. They’re bound to get sued bigtime.

      Did the hole in the lab wall have rounded corners?

      Was it a nice round pong?

      Enquiring minds ...

    2. LaeMing Silver badge
      Go

      Re: trading under the name iChromatography ?

      Brown-I-Chromatography?

  2. malle-herbert Silver badge
    Joke

    Must have caused quite a stir...

    Having an entire hazmat team climbing in and out of their hole !

  3. DagD

    buttplugs?

    https://youtu.be/cUhtv2XOolU

  4. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Does that mean AnalTech is now available or is that just Windows 10 telemetry?

  5. Dr Who

    Fnar Fnar

    Anyone who says that playground humour has become more prevalent since the 60s should talk to my colleague Buster Gonads who can testicle to the fact that no such trend is observable. In fact any such claims are unfeasibly large porkies. Just today I walked into a restaurant and asked the waitress for an opinion on toilet humour, and she gave me one. What more proof do you need?

    1. David 132 Silver badge

      Re: Fnar Fnar

      All publications have their preferred style guide. The Telegraph has Fowler's or the Oxford Style Manual; the New York Times has Strunk & White... and El Reg has Roger's Profanisaurus.

    2. 's water music Silver badge

      Re: Fnar Fnar

      Buster is, of course, a child of the eighties shirley? Also, if she gave me one is an example of toilet humour you may be doing on out of excreting and reproduction wrong. I think the canonical form is a man walks into the bar and asks for a double entendre so the barmaid gives him one.

      1. David 132 Silver badge
        Happy

        Re: Fnar Fnar

        On a related note, I have had to explain to my (previously, baffled) American colleagues that "...as the actress said to the Bishop" is the Brit equivalent of "...that's what she said".

        Do other languages have equivalent phrases, I wonder.

        1. cray74

          Re: Fnar Fnar

          "Do other languages have equivalent phrases, I wonder."

          Insofar as "that's what she said" and "...as the actress said to the Bishop" are both Wellerisms, yes, other languages have those.

      2. tiggity Silver badge

        Re: Fnar Fnar

        @'s water music

        I would disagree with the canonical form, more likely to be "a girl walks into the bar and asks for a double entendre so the barman gives her one."

        Before we get all PC, common colloquial usage of giving one, is overwhelmingly M to F, so joke should reflect that.

    3. pleb

      Re: Fnar Fnar

      Interesting play on the word 'testicle' (testify). No surprise, the words are in fact related:

      https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/games-primates-play/201112/testify-comes-the-latin-word-testicle

      1. Alistair Silver badge
        Coat

        Re: Fnar Fnar

        @ pleb: Basically, willing to put one's nuts on the line as I recall.....

    4. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Fnar Fnar

      Yesterday I walked into a block of flaps.

  6. Potemkine Silver badge

    Please someone forward that article to Mr. Dabbs

    I'm sure he will be able to make a good use of it ^^

  7. abubasim

    A company called Analtech selling 'bulk absorbents'. Pampers?

  8. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Not a biometric ID thing then

    As it's a real company name, and the subheading is about smell, the Viz part of the brain started up, and reached the conclusion that it was an identification of persons via their unique personal gaseous emanations.

    Not my fault, it was someone on a forum eons ago suggesting that arse-prints could be unique identifiers and number two factor authentication is a logical step.

    1. David 132 Silver badge

      Re: Not a biometric ID thing then

      Not my fault, it was someone on a forum eons ago suggesting that arse-prints could be unique identifiers and number two factor authentication is a logical step.

      Motion detection is already a common part of security systems, unless I've misunderstood the term.

      1. Phil O'Sophical Silver badge

        Re: Not a biometric ID thing then

        Motion detection is already a common part of security system

        No doubt there is a developer stoolkit.

        1. David 132 Silver badge

          Re: Not a biometric ID thing then

          No doubt there is a developer stoolkit.

          I do not want to see the sample library for that one.

        2. fishbone
          Happy

          Re: Not a biometric ID thing then

          As the astronomers have said before" Uranus is plainly visible tonight"

      2. John Smith 19 Gold badge
        Coat

        "eons ago suggesting that arse-prints could be unique identifiers"

        Who remembers the CDC and "Back Orifice?"

        Or the rather natty Green on Black teeshirt?

        Joking aside it is of course all about the pronouciation. Anal as in "analysis" of course.

        Like that classic spoof dog food commercial. "Mate, with added vigor."

    2. Yet Another Hierachial Anonynmous Coward

      Re: Not a biometric ID thing then

      "suggesting that arse-prints could be unique identifiers"

      In which case we need to correlate all the results into one location for easy identifcation. We could call it arse-book........

      1. Khaptain Silver badge

        Re: Not a biometric ID thing then

        In which case we need to correlate all the results into one location for easy identifcation. We could call it arse-book........

        Or alternatively Facebook, there are already a lot of arses to be found there....

    3. tedleaf

      Re: Not a biometric ID thing then

      Also used to frame pip bin in BBC's bleak expectations !!!

      1. David 132 Silver badge
        Thumb Up

        Re: Not a biometric ID thing then

        @tedleaf Upvoted for mention of Bleak Expectations. I miss Mr Gently Benevolent.

    4. defiler Silver badge

      Re: Not a biometric ID thing then

      "arse-prints could be unique identifiers"

      So that Christmas party when the copier glass got cracked wasn't really hijinks? It was somebody trying to login to release their prints? Well that's disappointing...

      What about the arseprints on the boardroom table?

  9. kain preacher Silver badge

    Are they going to need lube to get the truck out

  10. Daedalus Silver badge

    Chemistry joke

    Looks like their brand needs some TLC.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Chemistry joke

      "Analatech" would have been better than "ANALtech," at least it suggests the completion of the truncated word. Analysis = Analatech. Anus = AnalTech

  11. chivo243 Silver badge

    I need closure

    What exactly in the lab made the smell so bad that a hazmat team was called out?

    Do they secretly make those stink bombs in glass vials that people will drop on the pub/bar floor in hopes someone will step on it and Presto! rotten egg smell?

    1. earl grey Silver badge
      Coat

      Re: I need closure

      that was no stink bomb.

      getting my coat; think i need to leave now.

  12. Herby Silver badge

    Jokes that write themselves.

    It seems that many of the commentards have found this out. I should probably bow out at this time and say no more. The rest can be inferred.

  13. Daedalus Silver badge

    Much ado...

    If you read the actual reports, they're quite sober and matter-of-fact. The officials should have had some idea about what they were to encounter, if the facility was licenced in any way. Hazmat was brought in to handle any cleanup, but really a company in that business should be quite capable of handling its own spills. As for the smell, my money is on DMSO or possibly chloroform/dichloromethane, typical TLC solvents, although not usually used to make TLC plates. Neither alcohols nor hydrocarbons would have excited anybody nearly as much.

    BTW, in this context getting a "thumbs up" isn't nearly as gratifying as you might think.

  14. tedleaf

    The pong may have been something being carried by the pickup..

    Although analtech,even in the 60's was just daft,the firm who suggested it must still be pissing themselves laughing,and drinking free on the story...

  15. Chris 239
    Flame

    An unlikely emergency.

    Reminds me of the last time I flew into Gatwick on Fleasy Jet

    The plane stopped at the end of the runway for 5 minutes surrounded by the flashing lights of the emergency dept! After we started taxing to the terminal the pilot explained over the PA that there had been a report of a funny smell in the aircraft.

    Well, I'm pretty certain the smell was just an extremely smelly fart! (Not from me I hasten to add!) Well I guess a fart is flamable!

  16. allthecoolshortnamesweretaken Silver badge

    "... AnalTech is a maker of chromatography plates but that its history stretches back to the 1960s. The company allegedly accepted a suggestion by a local marketing firm to name itself AnalTech back then ..."

    A prank that keeps on giving for half a century... there should be some sort of award for this.

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