back to article Vegemite tries to hijack Qantas name-our-planes competition

Vegemite is trying to hijack Australian airline Qantas's public competition to name its new airliners. The continent-sized country's flag-carrying airline is, rather stupidly, allowing the great unwashed to name its eight new Airbus A380s. "We want their names to reflect the true Spirit of Australia," gushes the Name The …

  1. Scuby
    FAIL

    Doh!

    "The continent-sized country's flag-carrying airline is, rather stupidly, allowing the great unwashed to name its eight new Airbus A380s."

    The new Planes are Boeing 787s not Airbus A380s you daft Drongo!

    1. SW

      Re: Doh!

      Bugger - ya beat me to it...

      Have an Upvote...

    2. Eddy Ito Silver badge
      Paris Hilton

      Re: Doh!

      You'd have thought the Dreamliner bit would have been an indication, no?

    3. Marketing Hack Silver badge
      Facepalm

      Re: Doh!

      You'd think that this would have made IDing the correct plane mode easy:

      "allowing the great unwashed to name its eight new Airbus A380s.

      "We want their names to reflect the true Spirit of Australia," gushes the NAME THE DREAMLINER page"

    4. eldakka Silver badge
      Facepalm

      Re: Doh!

      A dingo ate his airplane identification guide.

  2. Stoke the atom furnaces

    Bruce

    Name all eight planes Bruce to avoid causing a little confusion.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eyVX3uJpqxc

    1. A K Stiles
      Joke

      Re: Bruce

      Surely they should be called 'Sheila' as they're normally considered in the female?

    2. This post has been deleted by its author

    3. User McUser
      Coat

      Re: Bruce

      Rule One? - NO COPTERS!

      1. This post has been deleted by its author

  3. Haku

    Call one EMC after the famous Aussie physicist who put bubbles into beer.

    What do you mean Young Einstein wasn't a biopic?

    1. David 132 Silver badge
      Happy

      Re: Call one EMC after the famous Aussie physicist who put bubbles into beer.

      What do you mean Young Einstein wasn't a biopic?

      You should check by using Google, or Yahoo. Seriously.

  4. A K Stiles
    Coat

    How about Bruce, Sheila, Blue, Mate, Bludger, Drongo, Kylie and Madge - that seems to cover the aussie spectrum, right?

    1. David 132 Silver badge
      Linux

      How about Bruce, Sheila, Blue, Mate, Bludger, Drongo, Kylie and Madge - that seems to cover the aussie spectrum, right?

      What, no "Skippy"??

      And I suppose that naming one "Rolf" would be, uh, in poor taste these days?

      Penguin icon because it's cladistically a type of kangaroo.

      1. Mage Silver badge

        Other Australians

        Murdoch isn't that popular

        I quite like Clive James. His "J.K. Rowlings Envy" "point of view" for BBC was a classic.

        1. This post has been deleted by its author

  5. Sanctimonious Prick
    Coat

    I've Got One...

    "Use Australian Maintenance Crews"

  6. kryptonaut

    Australian tradition

    Following in the tradition of the "Great Sandy Desert" and the "Snowy Mountains", I suggest naming these eight large aircraft "Large Aircraft 1-8"

  7. Steve Knox

    Honor Australia's Greatest Hero.

    Name one of them "A Knife" and the other seven "Not A Knife"

    1. Simon Ward

      Re: Honor Australia's Greatest Hero.

      Not Knifey McKnifeface? For shame ...

      Joking aside, they should name one after Steve Irwin (assuming they haven't already done so) - CRIKEY!

      1. David 132 Silver badge
        Pint

        Re: Honor Australia's Greatest Hero.

        Hmm.

        This isn't a widebody aircraft, and it'll be flying over vast tracts of Outback. So for most of the time it'll be a slim dusty plane. I feel like there's a connection to an Aussie hero there, but can't quite put my finger on it.

        Icon - beer, but bring your own because the pub doesn't have any.

        1. Simon Ward

          Re: Honor Australia's Greatest Hero.

          Well played ...

          (not an Australian, but I do know who you are referring to)

      2. Ben Bonsall

        Re: Honor Australia's Greatest Hero.

        That's not a Knifey McKnifeface, it's a spoon.

        1. Pedigree-Pete
          Coat

          Re: Honor Australia's Greatest Hero.

          "There is no spoon". PP

    2. macjules Silver badge

      Re: Honor Australia's Greatest Hero.

      Since they are in the transportation business ...

      Sirius

      Supply

      Alexander

      Charlotte

      Friendship

      Lady Penrhyn

      Prince of Wales

      Scarborough

  8. Stoke the atom furnaces

    Convict Colony

    How do you know when a plane is full of Poms?

    It does not stop whining when you turn the engines off.

    1. jake Silver badge

      Re: Convict Colony

      That ain't the Poms, Yob, that's the APU ...

  9. JimmyPage Silver badge
    Facepalm

    You'd think after Boaty McBoatface

    people would have learned ....

    1. Number6

      Re: You'd think after Boaty McBoatface

      Yes, I hope someone has proposed Qanty McQantface.

    2. Flakk Silver badge
      Trollface

      Re: You'd think after Boaty McBoatface

      I have. I'm keen to see one of the planes named "Sir David Attenborough".

    3. The Real Tony Smith

      Re: You'd think after Boaty McBoatface

      Vote is in for...

      'Planey McPlaneface'

  10. Eddy Ito Silver badge

    The unfriendly skys?

    Bull Shark, Eastern Brown Snake, Taipan, Saltwater Croc, Sydney Funnel Web Spider, Blue Ring Octopus, Box Jellyfish, and Drop Bear.

    If they don't like those names they might as well use Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs.

    1. tedleaf

      Re: The unfriendly skys?

      Their wild horses,brumbies,kill more people than sharks !!

      How about rusty dump 1-8 ?

      Or criminal 1-8 ?

    2. Adam 1 Silver badge

      Re: The unfriendly skys?

      Why would anyone want to see snakes on a plane?

  11. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    "Home and Away"?

    or if used to fly to NZ "Neighbours"?

    Or going back to my Uni days and call it Prisoner Cell Block H.

    They could name them after that Aussie bloke who went out with Liz Hurley. He was on my TV every night at one point advertising online poker and baldness cures - did he do anything else? He seems to be the person who comes to mind when I think of Australia other than those already mentioned by others and Dame Edna Everage and Bryan Brown.

    1. allthecoolshortnamesweretaken

      George Lazenby?

  12. Stoneshop Silver badge

    T&C

    "The entry must be:free from any claims, inc. trademark claims, by other parties."

    Vegemite Co.: "Hey, we suggested it, you think we'd go make a trademark claim afterwards? Wouln't be very sporting, now."

    1. Trigonoceps occipitalis

      Re: T&C

      Of course Vegemite would make a trademark claim - just as soon as the publicity from the naming process died down.

  13. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Use native animal names

    A good one is Drop Bear.

  14. Chris G Silver badge

    All I can say

    Is 'Thank (insert deity of choice)' that one well known Aussi is definitely out of the running.

    Anything to do with Hoag's gets my vote.

  15. David 132 Silver badge

    If they can't use Vegemite...

    How about naming a plane "Parwill"?

    (look it up).

    1. sorry, what?
      Devil

      Re: If they can't use Vegemite...

      <deliberately-obtuse>Parwill... you mean "a well mannered child"?</deliberately-obtuse>

      Not sure I particularly like being called "self-loading baggage" it must be said. (Self-loathing might be closer to the truth.)

      IMHO it's a better experience than you get with Sleasy Jet or Rhino Hair. (Actually, those sound like great suggestions for them, don't you think?)

    2. Public Citizen

      Re: If they can't use Vegemite...

      Well played mate.

  16. Marketing Hack Silver badge
    Go

    Some humble suggestions....

    "Australia Fare"

    "Going Outback"

    "Air(s) Rock"

    "Travel Darwin-ian"

  17. eurobloke

    Something to love and hate:

    * Halal Snack Pack

    1. David 132 Silver badge

      "iPlane 2.0"

  18. Diogenes

    Ona serios note

    Lots of RAAF VC winners could be commemorated.

    Or on a less serious not e 'lemon meringingue pie'

    1. David 132 Silver badge
      Happy

      Re: Ona serios note

      Let me guess - you know how to start spelling "meringue" but don't know how to stop?

      (Unless there's a cultural reference I'm missing. So many. So hard to keep track.)

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Ona serios note

        Let me guess - you know how to start spelling "meringue" but don't know how to stop?

        First name Kylie, right?

  19. Woza

    How about

    Farnarkling? Or Dave Sorensen?

    1. Francis Boyle Silver badge

      Upvote

      for remembering "the axiomatic Sorenson".

  20. Ian Emery Silver badge
    Happy

    Convict Transport No.1

    Convict Transport No.2

    Convict.......

    I did like the self loading luggage AND the whinny pom jokes though.

  21. Winkypop Silver badge
    Thumb Up

    Louie

    The Fly

  22. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Avagoodweekend

    Didyabringyagrogalong

    Getadogupya

    etc..

    1. Pompous Git Silver badge

      Re: Avagoodweekend

      Bangslikeashithousedoorinagale...

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Avagoodweekend

        Kickatinalong

        G'day mate!

  23. CentralCoasty

    Pie Face would be really nice I think for one....

    Sparky..... also suitable at the moment....

  24. Rattus Rattus

    Why do I get the feeling

    we're going to end up with "Stoptheboats" and "Muslimsgohome"?

    1. Pompous Git Silver badge

      Re: Why do I get the feeling

      And Pauline Pantsdown?

  25. Scuby

    How about

    Walkabout?

  26. julian.smith

    Only Australians would eat it

    Most foreigners correctly consider it a bad joke .... like Qantas, Holden cars, Fosters beer and other icons of Australian mediocrity.

  27. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Traditional?

    "My other ride's a sheep"

    "C*nt"

    "F'ing C*nt"

    "Fair suck of the sav!"

    "A dingo stole my babeeeee"

  28. Pedigree-Pete

    Criminal references....

    Perhaps Ned Kelly. PP I duhno.

  29. JJKing Silver badge
    Coat

    How about....................

    Russell Coight? Then when it behaved like it's namesake and your is travel delayed, they could blame it on Coight-is-interruptus.

    Sorry, I won't post again until the next article.

    1. David 132 Silver badge

      Re: How about....................

      I think you should sit very quietly in the corner and reflect on what you just did.

    2. Swarthy Silver badge

      Re: How about....................

      I don't see that you'd have to choose the name, that would only apply to one, when now it's Qantas-Interruptus.

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