back to article LinkedIn chatbots to help with 'important conversations'

LinkedIn users desperate to climb the greasy pole but unable to come up with necessary corporate small talk to do so, will be able to use chatbots to shoot the shit for them. In an update to its terms and conditions, LinkedIn told users in an email this week that they would be able to opt in to use "productivity bots" from …

  1. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Old fart here.

    I can sort of see the point of Facebook although I don't use it to post anything. I still use telephones and that newfangled email thingamabob to contact friends and family... I accept that Facebook may be used to get money from ads, and although I don't know how that works (don't see many people admitting to clicking on ads) the sheer volume of people and posts may make it viable.

    But I honestly can't understand what Microsoft gains from LinkedIn. My brief foray into LinkedIn ended after few months of many, many messages about people I may know but I didn't want to contact anyway, and requests for acknowledgment from people I never met. It looks like a nice way to keep professional information and contacts, but there is too much noise, and it comes from LinkedIn itself. Same thing (or worse?) with ResearchGate, who decided I wanted to know all about all people that may or not be friends of neighbors of teachers of cousins of coauthors of papers I briefly showed some interest on.

    Can one of your young whippersnappers explain how will Microsoft monetize it and then get off my lawn?

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: young fart here.

      They're playing the long game here. Once all worker's rights have been abolished, they'll pivot into neo-slavery. It'll be the task rabbit of white collar work. Paid in truck tokens.

    2. Charlie Clark Silver badge

      Re: Old fart here.

      As with all these things: it's the personal data. Presumably, Microsoft is planning to tie LinkedIn in with its CRM stuff and might even be looking at the HR market which is huge. Regarding the actual acquisition I think you'll find it was so structured that MS couldn't lose from it. It has lots of cash sitting around earning no return and the purchase could be debt-financed at virtually no interest; no doubt some of the LinkedIn shareholders had connections with Microsoft and so were more than happy to be able to get cash for their shares.

      Personally, I don't think LinkedIn is particularly suited for IT stuff: it keeps offering me sales positions. StackOverflow is much better for anything remotely related to my skillset.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Old fart here.

        There must have been a mention of servers in some profile, somewhere, because I keep getting notified about openings for food servers. I wonder if that is "AI" in action?

    3. FuzzyWuzzys
      Facepalm

      Re: Old fart here.

      It'll be bloody hilarious if MS try to punt linked in as a genuine source of info for company HR depts!

      I've looked over my colleague's shoulders and they've shown me LinkedIn and the amount of utter bullpoop I've seen about ex-employees is frightening. Has anyone on LinkedIn actually got a proper job or does everyone now have these utterly stupid job titles like "Solutions Systems and Cloud Integration Architect"? That was one job title that someone who worked for us as an AD admin had 6 months after leaving our place. I'm sorry I've yet to see anything remotely useful in and on LinkedIn, apart from it looking like a cattle feed pen at the end of the day!

      1. John Brown (no body) Silver badge

        Re: Old fart here.

        "It'll be bloody hilarious if MS try to punt linked in as a genuine source of info for company HR depts!"

        They don't need to punt it. HR depts. already think that Linkdin is gospel and use it extensively. HR are nearly as stupid as marketing depts.

    4. The Man Who Fell To Earth Silver badge
      Alert

      Pretty simple old fart

      Facebook = life clutter

      LinkedIn = career clutter

      Chatbots = pure clutter

    5. bombastic bob Silver badge
      FAIL

      Re: Old fart here.

      another old fart, who tried to use LinkedIn for what it was intended when it was first invented. You know, like an on-line resume thingy, possible for job searches as well. As it turns out, since Micro-shaft took over, I'm getting SPAMMED with "do you know these people" e-mails. I have been deleting them.

      I'm considering deleting my profile as well. I wonder if the spam mail will stop...

      I don't do Faceb[itch,ook], I don't do Tw[a,i]tter, and soon I probably won't do LinkedIn, either.

      It's losing its value as a place for executives and professionals to advertise their skills. It's turning into a complete WASTE of effort. I haven't updated my profile in a couple of years now. And if I do choose to log in, I'll use a special browser that automatically erases ALL history/cache/cookies when I'm done. I'd JUST go there, to avoid ALL tracking. And no other browser configs allow cookies or tracking from ANY such site. I made THAT happen 3 or 4 years ago, when they started the TRACKING CRAP. That wasn't enough to make me go away entirely, but it WAS enough to make me "do that stuff" to AVOID TRACKING.

  2. djstardust

    Linkedin

    I deleted my profile as soon as I heard that slurp had got involved.

    I never ever got a job (or even an offer) from being a member, and from what I could see it was full of people blowing their own trumpet and getting "recommendations" from ex-colleagues which seems completely false at best.

    I did however get six Nigerian brides so it's not all bad I suppose.

    1. Sir Runcible Spoon

      Re: Linkedin

      I do have a LinkedIn profile, but it is bereft of any details.

      It's only there so people who I work with can 'find' me -they seem to get more worried when they couldn't find me at all.

    2. Voland's right hand Silver badge

      Re: Linkedin

      I have had a couple of offers - one off a linked in advert.

      It can be useful - if you are to talk to someone and he has put Visionary (without adding W*nker) in his title you know where you stand and you can avoid wasting your time talking to them.

  3. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Doesn't matter

    I show as a software developer on LinkedIn. It's accurate, I write software for desktop and mobile (web when I want the pain of the 90s restored).

    Mostly Indian guys message me trying to sell outsourced services.

    They are getting good at the patter/rhetoric to engage but I'm not buying so rarely get past the first line.

    AI doesn't yet understand the difference between looking and buying, or annoying and helpful.

  4. WonkoTheSane
    Trollface

    Just do what I do...

    Since I don't have (nor want) a LinkedIn profile, I simply report any messages from them to my email provider as spam.

  5. Not also known as SC
    WTF?

    Alternative Facts

    I gave up a number of years ago when I saw a colleague described as CEO and Developer at <company employing 20,000+ staff>. They had been a contractor before joining the company so technically were the CEO of their one man business but were just a cog in <company employing 20,000+ staff> at a standard high technical grade. I don't think he was an exception either from the profiles I saw relating to people I knew.

    1. Voland's right hand Silver badge

      Re: Alternative Facts

      This shows that it is extremely useful when filtering CVs.

      First pass is the bulshit bingo filtering - any bulshit bingo in the profile is an immediate rounded folder filing. Under the desk.

      You compare CV and LinkedIn profile. People usually do not lie in a CV - they consider it too risky.

      So second filter is anyone and everyone who has obviously exaggerated versus their CV. File in the rounder folder under the desk.

      Third stage is to ask all the relevant questions based on their CV/Profile - if they claim to have managed 10K people they should be able to describe responsibilties, processes, etc. File in the rounded folder under the desk.

      Rinse repeat.

      So it is actually quite useful, you just do not see its usefulness :)

  6. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    This will help

    For people who can't communicate authentically, LinkedIn will fake sincerity for you.

    Yeah, that'll work.

    1. JLV
      Joke

      Re: This will help

      MS should buy an online dating site and turn loose its "helpful banter" bots on it. Makes about as much sense as a Linkedin bot. And probably better ROI than on that 26B$.

      Satnad, pls note the joke icon, I ain't serious.

  7. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Lack of social skills

    If you lack so many social skills that you require a chat bot then it's time to step down, put a sack over your head and remain in a cupboard until such times as the mortal coil finally relinquishes and the last breath expires from the empty shell that once had a LinkedIn account.

  8. mhoneywell

    LinkedIn is like a really shit X Factor....

    It just seems to be full of sob / hero / hard work / against all odds stories.

    It's like somebody got everything that's good in the world, turned it to shit and sold it Microsoft.

  9. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Real people, bogus info

    I noticed that my co-workers were experts in their field, sometimes many many fields. I thought that was interesting. Even some of those reporting to me had far more abilities than myself or that they ever showed at work. Impressive.

    But most of the accounts I saw were real, a couple I'm pretty sure are not, and there was far more personal data there than those real people would post anywhere else. At the end of the day that was worth about $50. I'm sure most would have paid more than $50 to not have that information dumped and now given to Microsoft who will sell it as they see fit.

    Given how business is allowed to operate on the Internet that will no doubt be a future successful business model.

  10. allthecoolshortnamesweretaken

    Just when I thought that LikedIn couldn't get any worse...

  11. Christoph

    "It looks like you're trying to get a job. Would you like some help with that?"

  12. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    And yet you *still* can't enter details of citizenship(s) ...

    not much cop for a "global" tool.

    If only someone had (a) noticed and (b) suggested it as an improvement.

    Oh, I did. 12 months ago ....

  13. TrumpSlurp the Troll
    WTF?

    Patents and publications?

    Not me.

    I just did stuff.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Patents and publications?

      Cocaine?

  14. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    And I thought LinkedIn was just a giant scam

    Now I know they are.

  15. Winkypop Silver badge
    Facepalm

    26B$

    Imagine spending that money of something, you know, useful:

    - clean water in Africa

    - renewable energy sources

    - education for the needy

    - cleaning the oceans

    - etc

    We are toast.

POST COMMENT House rules

Not a member of The Register? Create a new account here.

  • Enter your comment

  • Add an icon

Anonymous cowards cannot choose their icon

Other stories you might like