back to article Male escort forgot pregnancy protection, scores data protection instead

A German woman who was impregnated by a male escort she apparently hired to liven up a stay in the East of the country has had her attempts to track him down trumped by the country’s rigid data protection laws. The woman booked the professional priapist for a three night sojourn in a second floor room in a hotel in the town of …

  1. Miss Lincolnshire

    Bit of a cock up on her part

  2. Miss Lincolnshire

    A bit of a cock up on her part

  3. wolfetone Silver badge

    Could she not stretch to the cost of a few condoms along with her gigilo?

    1. phuzz Silver badge

      I'd hope he'd bring his own as part of the service.

      1. Pascal Monett Silver badge

        Re: "as part of the service"

        The issue is : we don't know what "service" was requested.

        She rented services of one "entertainer" for "a three night sojourn". This is not a one-time mistake. You'd think that she'd realize if or not he had a condom during that time and would be capable of putting a stop to things if she did not agree.

  4. This post has been deleted by its author

  5. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    If you are going to use such services as a man or a woman then realistically you should take precautions, no if's or buts. I usually lock the door and take the phone off the hook.

    1. JLV Silver badge
      Trollface

      Dunno about pregnancy, but according to South African President Jacob Zuma, you should also take a shower afterwards, it prevents AIDS.

    2. Shady

      Re: easy pickings

      Butts are extra (sorry)

      1. Chemical Bob

        Re: easy pickings

        Never apologize, we won't respect you!

  6. Matthew Glubb

    I feel sorry for the child

    Not having a father around is always going to be tough on all involved.

    1. Known Hero
      Unhappy

      Re: I feel sorry for the child

      Yes but fishing around for 7 years worth of back payments probably has very little to do with the concerns of the child.

      1. Sir Runcible Spoon Silver badge
        Trollface

        Re: I feel sorry for the child

        Next we'll be hearing about being chased down for child support based from sperm bank donors (I don't see how this situation is *that* different :) )

        1. katrinab Silver badge

          Re: I feel sorry for the child

          Only if it is from an unlicensed sperm bank, otherwise there is a specific exemption in the law covering it.

          1. Mephistro Silver badge
            Devil

            Re: I feel sorry for the child

            "Only if it is from an unlicensed sperm bank, otherwise there is a specific exemption in the law covering it."

            So can an individual register as a licensed sperm bank? Asking in behalf of a friend.

            ;^)

      2. bombastic bob Silver badge
        Devil

        Re: I feel sorry for the child

        "fishing around for 7 years worth of back payments probably has very little to do with the concerns of the child."

        yeah, if she can afford an expensive hotel and a gigolo for 3 nights, perhaps she can afford decent food/clothing/school for the kid?

        "Meal-ticket Mommy" indeed... can you say BACKLASH?

  7. John G Imrie

    In the UK

    all four of the men would be being chased by the child support agency.

    I'm not sure where my loyalties lie here. If she asked for no condom then I blame the woman as she was paying for the service. If on the other hand if she said she wanted mine Herr to bag up, then he should be tracked down and forced to help support the child.

    1. Richard Boyce

      Re: In the UK

      Eight years later, even the couple will not reliably know whose fault it was. All we know is that the man wanted money then, and that the woman wants money now.

      Poor kid.

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: In the UK

      By the CSA, yes, thankfully that agency is no more.

      The Child Support Service that replaces it is, in my experience, much fairer.

      1. John G Imrie

        Re: In the UK

        The Child Support Service that replaces it is, in my experience, much fairer.

        Good, I had several run ins with the old CSA and although I found the staff I dealt with professional and polite the actual organisation was a mess. Luckily they weren't chasing me for money.

    3. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: In the UK

      condoms fail....

      There is also the pill, the coil and implants.

      When having "normal" sex there is nearly always a risk of pregnancy. Adding one layer of protection only reduces it, adding two reduces it further.

      Almost no contraception* is 100 effective.

      *other than actually already having kids. Which are often the best contraceptive you can have.

      1. Timbo

        Re: In the UK

        "Almost no contraception* is 100 effective."

        Not quite - there is one very good method: UTBNB

        http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=UTBNB

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: In the UK

          > Not quite - there is one very good method: UTBNB

          Nope, that one isn't entirely safe either. Seepage

        2. tiggity Silver badge

          Re: In the UK

          re UTBNB

          Still a risk, chance of some swimmers leaking out, e.g. careful withdraw needed (holes not that far apart)

      2. Olivier2553 Silver badge

        Re: In the UK

        Almost no contraception* is 100 effective.

        Orange juice is.

        Orange juice as contraception: not before, not after but instead.

    4. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: In the UK

      "In the UK

      all four of the men would be being chased by the child support agency."

      Rubbish!

      It would be either the entire hotel, or everyone called Michael in the UK.

      1. Steve Evans

        Re: In the UK

        It would be either the entire hotel, or everyone called Michael in the UK.

        And they'd still fail to find more than three.

    5. Clive Galway

      Re: In the UK

      And what if he did "bag up"?

      Barrier contraception isn't 100% reliable.

  8. GrumpenKraut Silver badge
    Angel

    A bit of German

    Aus Spass wurde Ernst. Ernst ist heute sieben Jahre alt.

    Yes, childish. Can anyone translate that?

    1. dutchie68

      Re: A bit of German

      One of those word tricks your can't translate.

      "Fun turned into serious; Serious is now seven years old."

      Only works in German because "Ernst" is a pretty common boys name.

      G.

      1. NBCanuck

        Re: A bit of German

        I think a better English translation would be:

        Fun had in earnest. Ernest is now seven years old.

        The spelling of earnest/Ernest differ but sound the same when spoken.

      2. Truckle The Uncivil

        Re: A bit of German

        @dutchie68

        My cousin bears Ernst as a surname.

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: A bit of German

      Hehe really funny indeed. It's a play on words.

      Fun turned serious and Serious was his name. (where Ernst is the German translation for Serious and also a common name back in the olden days e.g. In English you had Ernest Hemingway)

      1. GrumpenKraut Silver badge
        Pint

        Re: A bit of German

        Thanks to both of you. I somewhat suspected there isn't a better translation than that.

        Wait, WAIT! It's beer o'clock!!!!!!!!eleventillion!!!!!!!!!!! ------ Prost ----->

      2. Bandikoto

        Re: A bit of German

        And someone who is "earnest", could be said to be serious. Thus, it works in English as well, you just have to pick your words carefully and translate the lad's name.

        1. Fruit and Nutcase Silver badge
          Thumb Up

          Re: A bit of German

          "Ernst"

          ..."The Importance of being Earnest"

          1. Toni the terrible

            Re: A bit of German

            A Handbag?

            1. Fruit and Nutcase Silver badge

              Re: A bit of German

              @Toni the terrible

              A Handbag?

              At least she did not put little Ernst in the Handbag and keep it in the Left Luggage Office at Munich Hauptbahnhof

            2. Fruit and Nutcase Silver badge
              Coat

              Re: A bit of German

              @Toni the terrible

              A Handbag?

              A few condoms in there would have come in handy

    3. JLV Silver badge

      Re: A bit of German

      Here are some Jacques Dutronc lyrics, from Les Playboys:

      """

      Ils travaillent tout comme les castors

      Ni avec leurs mains, ni avec leurs pieds

      ""'

      They work just like beavers

      With neither hands nor feet

    4. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: A bit of German

      Is it an anagram for

      "Whopping Wilhelm, The Well Hung Hun"?

  9. big_D Silver badge
    Headmaster

    liebefest

    That would be Liebesfest...

    1. Warm Braw Silver badge

      Re: liebefest

      ... and probably dreinachtige or dreinachtigen depending on exactly how much of the sentence you treat according to German grammar rules...

  10. Andy Tunnah

    Well I learned something new

    "Professional priapist" is by far my favourite term I've ever heard for a sausage slinger

    Man whore, hourly humper, and er..various ones that'll get my comment deleted I know, but I've never heard that one.

    You learn something new every day eh ?

    1. Sir Runcible Spoon Silver badge
      Coat

      Re: Well I learned something new

      What line of work did you say you were in?

      1. GrumpenKraut Silver badge
        Windows

        Re: Well I learned something new

        Interpersonal Hydraulics Unlimited?

        "Connections that last all those 90 seconds." ---->

    2. kmac499

      Re: Well I learned something new

      The title allows for alternative career paths in addition to Bedroom Buddy, i.e. Doughnut storage.

      Mind you Hats off (and he could hold those as well) to the guy, a three day contract in that line off work meets errmm stiff requirements.

      Coat please Oh you can hold one of those as well...

  11. spacecadet66

    Considering the circumstances she's lucky that the only souvenir she came away with was a baby and not, let's say, a host of syphilis spirochetes.

    1. spacecadet66

      Four thumbs down on this, from which I conclude that the Reg has at least four spirochetes amongst its readership.

  12. Your alien overlord - fear me

    Why doesn't she just book him again (through an agency, business card in a telephone kiosk etc) and then ask for money rather than giving it? Might be a bit late now, 7 years on, but she should have done it when she found out she was preggers.

    1. Truckle The Uncivil

      We are all assuming that her pregnancy was unintentional. Why is that?

  13. chivo243 Silver badge
    Happy

    Cue David Lee Roth

    Everybody know's the part Dave's playin' - paid for every dance, selling each romance...

    1. Agamemnon

      Re: Cue David Lee Roth

      IfI end up with "Just A Gigilo" stuck in my head, we are going to have words, you and I.

      1. Bandikoto

        Re: Cue David Lee Roth

        What instrument do you play?

        https://www.researchgate.net/profile/Victoria_Williamson/publication/235417631_Contracting_Earworms_The_Roles_of_Personality_and_Musicality/links/0fcfd5116185c5013d000000.pdf

  14. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    So the child of this liaison

    could end up marrying his sister ?

  15. Sykowasp

    Seven years?!

    It's a long time to wait to try and get child support.

    I wonder what the in-between story is such that she only recently went after him.

  16. Infernoz Bronze badge
    Thumb Up

    How amusing that a promiscuous, probably r-type, woman's, hypocritical and attempted parasitism was defeated later after 3 days and later months of complacency for not using protection, a morning after pill, or even getting an abortion.

    If the selfish woman really wanted a child (I assume she did from the lack of abortion) and to get it paid for, it should have been mutually consensually agreed to inside a marriage, otherwise it becomes misandry (men hating) justified male slavery!

    Those who even suggest she deserves payment disgust me as supporters of slavery, with Child Support Agencies as effective slave administrators, in an age when we had supposedly ended slavery, and that's before we even discuss income taxation.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      How amusing that a promiscuous, probably r-type, woman's, hypocritical and attempted parasitism was defeated later after 3 days and later months of complacency for not using protection, a morning after pill, or even getting an abortion.

      R-Type? Something related to the Super Nintendo game?

      https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/R-Type

      1. Phukov Andigh Bronze badge

        JDM Acura parts?

      2. Jedit

        "R-Type? Something related to the Super Nintendo game?"

        She has lost her battle against the Buydildo Empire.

    2. GrumpenKraut Silver badge
      Meh

      > ... disgust me as supporters of slavery, ...

      Jeebus Christ! Do you have that, maybe, two numbers smaller?

    3. kraphaus

      that escalated quickly...

  17. smudge Silver badge
    Coat

    So if his name...

    ... was Lou, he'd have been Halle Lou, ja?

  18. Herby Silver badge

    Youse pay your money

    Youse take your chances.

    Or, you bought it, and now you OWN it.

    1. Chris G Silver badge

      Re: Youse pay your money

      Or; You made your bed, now you can lie in it.

  19. The Nazz Silver badge

    Proof

    How does she know the escort is the kid's father? Or anyone else know?

    Does the kid have a nine and a half inch cock (23-24cm) and a healthy bank balance?

    I'm also surprised there are no photos for ID ( as mentionned earlier via the escort ad/agency) or during the three day event.

    Had i laid out for such shenanigans i sure as hell would've wanted piccies.

    "Anal" is also an effective contraceptive. Apparently.

    1. Bandikoto

      Re: Proof

      >"Anal" is also an effective contraceptive. Apparently.

      That's how you get lawyers.

    2. Captain DaFt

      Re: Proof

      -"Anal" is also an effective contraceptive. Apparently.-

      And how did you think lawyers/politicians/CEOs were conceived? ☺

      1. Morten_T

        Re: Proof

        Lawyers, yes. Politicians/CEOs are clearly spawned in the deepest, darkest pits of Hell, and cast out for being too horrifying :D

  20. EveryTime

    Interesting circumstances, and a good example of strong data privacy laws.

    There are some mainstream feminists that will see this as a miscarriage of justice.

    They feel that no matter the circumstances, the man should be financially responsible. Was it his sperm? Responsible. Full stop. Even if it wasn't his sperm, he should be financially obligated if he had sex with the woman around the time she became pregnant. Or simply was in a relationship with her, including a estranged marriage.

  21. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    She had every opportunity to get it aborted. After that point you're on your own.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      >She had every opportunity to get it aborted. After that point you're on your own.

      Maybe she was Catholic, or pro-life.

  22. Palpy

    I wonder if the father --

    -- will ever decide to look the kid up? Some men might do that, but the likelihood is lessened by the mother's bid for money. Too bad, that, but at least the guy knows a kid is out there, and he has the name. If he even remembers that gig seven years ago, I guess.

    As the father of an adopted son who has never known his birth-father, well, it does leave a potential void. Depends on the child's particular psychology whether the unknown is a wound or an itchy spot.

    1. The Nazz Silver badge

      Or the late, great Shel Silverstein approach.

      On one of his songs* he sings that when a woman comes round collecting for children's charities he "gives them a quarter, cos one of 'em might be mine."

      *IIRC appropriately called "Fuckem".

  23. Fruit and Nutcase Silver badge

    The Wurst outcome

    or should that be "out come" for the lady

  24. razorfishsl

    So she had no responsibility for preventing pregnancy

    and she thought the weight gain was what exactly?

  25. Hans 1 Silver badge

    Imagine the kid, the kid's feelings ... mum's looking for your hooker of a dad - How do you want that man to relate to the kid and the kid to him ?

    I guess they could create a precedent in NOT allowing the mother to get the guy to pay up ... I think the most important is the child, in this case, and a child needs a stable family. A kid needs a stable family more than extra moneys ...

  26. handleoclast
    Trollface

    Guaranteed contraception

    All of the contraceptive methods mentioned so far are not perfect. Condoms tear. Anal sex can result in seepage. Etc.

    The one method of contraception guaranteed never to fail is to kill the woman immediately afterwards. Before or during also work.

    1. Toni the terrible

      Re: Guaranteed contraception

      clone her?

  27. Sleep deprived

    Entrapment?

    Maybe the lady told "Michael" she had some form of contraception while she was actually looking for a genitor. I don't see him having any sort of "parental project", and abortion is freely available in Germany, surgical or not. Case closed.

  28. The Vociferous Time Waster

    Layer 8

    Failures of contraception are more often failure at the user level than the hardware level. Most of them can be 100% effective if done correctly but split condoms, failure to withdraw, missed pills and messed up rhythm dates are all just user error.

  29. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Sperm Banks

    Slightly off topic, but I had to ask...

    If real bankers have their bonuses paid in money. What are sperm bankers bonuses paid in?

    If its what I think it is, does that form of currency work like bitcoin. I.e. proof of work etc?

  30. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Gentlemen4hire

    Should prefer protection & avoid facing such issues. With love from gentlemen4hire escort services.

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