back to article Apple fanbois are officially sheeple. Yes, you heard. Deal with it

Apple fanbois are officially sheeple. So says American dictionary Merriam-Webster. The American lexicologists added the term of endearment to their tome yesterday, a mere 72 years after its first recorded use in the English language. Helpfully, and entirely non-inflammatorily, Merriam-Webster's people gave two examples of " …

  1. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Won't stop them Americanising it though.

    "Apple fanboiz are oficialy shepel"

    1. BillG Silver badge
      Joke

      Licensees

      Lest we forget, the British invented the English language. Us Americans are only licensees.

      1. John Gamble
        Joke

        Re: Licensees

        I view it more that the British put forth the stodgy Ubuntu version of English, while its colonies everywhere produced the cool Mint versions.

      2. Captain DaFt

        Re: Licensees

        "Lest we forget, the British invented the English language. Us Americans are only licensees."

        BS! The English language is Open Source, no license needed!

        1. Stork Bronze badge

          Re: Licensees

          Yes, definitely OS. Remember, the majority of English speakers do not have it as first language (incl. yours truly).

          One of the great things about English is that as the grammar is relatively simple, it is easy to learn enough for it to be usable. My father-in-law puts it like this: "The most spoken language in the World is bad English".

          Spelling, though, ...

          1. Doctor Syntax Silver badge

            Re: Licensees

            "The most spoken language in the World is bad English"

            Back in the days when Cooks Tours arranged travel for the wealthy one lady remarked that she always had travel arranged by Cooks because she knew there's be an Englishman to meet her, or at least, a broken Englishman.

          2. Rattus Rattus

            Re: "the grammar is relatively simple"

            Huh, I wouldn't have thought so with all the exceptions and special cases. I'm a native English speaker who is presently learning Japanese and one of the things that has amazed me about that language is the simplicity and regularity of the grammar in comparison to English grammar. What would you consider a language with complicated grammar then?

            1. Pompous Git Silver badge

              Re: "the grammar is relatively simple"

              "What would you consider a language with complicated grammar then?"
              Finnish; there are more than 12 declensions, no prepositions, no masculine or feminine, no articles...

              1. billdehaan

                Re: "the grammar is relatively simple"

                Also, no work for "please" (although kiitos seemed to work as both please and thanks, I think).

                Oh, god the memories.

                Lived for several years in Little Finland in Port Arthur. Was walking down the street one day as a lad, with my friend Toivo. We came across an ungodly long sign in the window. There was a word that was something like 39 letters, which seemed absurd to me. And keep in mind, many of my family speak German.

                I asked Toivo what it meant, and he said "oh, it's a travel agent".

                Why so many letters? Well, it really said something like "person you pay money to for him to book passage on a boat for you to go on vacation on".

            2. LionelB

              Re: "the grammar is relatively simple"

              What would you consider a language with complicated grammar then?

              Basque, Finnish, Navajo, Adyghe, Abkhaz, Korean, Icelandic, Thai, ...

              English grammar is in fact pretty simple compared even with its latinate and germanic progenitors. I recall learning Spanish, that the trickiest things to get to grips with were the imperfect past tense (which doesn't exist in English) and the subjunctive mood (which English has almost lost).

              Now Afrikaans - there's a really, really simple grammar.

              1. billdehaan

                Re: "the grammar is relatively simple"

                Now Afrikaans - there's a really, really simple grammar.

              2. billdehaan

                Re: "the grammar is relatively simple"

                "Now Afrikaans - there's a really, really simple grammar."

                As my Opa used to say, "We are a simple people. We sing. We dance. We shoot on sight."

      3. Michael Thibault

        Re: Licensees

        "Us Americans are only licensees."

        And it shows!

      4. billdehaan
        Boffin

        Re: Licensees

        Being a Colonial myself, and living within cannon shot of the US border, I get both the King's English and the American version concurrently, depending on which radio/TV station I choose.

        The best (and possibly only) example I have which juxtaposes both variations of the language was at, of all places, a US military base, which shall rename nameless, which was being used for joint manoeuvers and training with British, Canadian, and American forces. Consequently, all signage was, in the words of the base commander, in "English, French, and American".

        There was a $BUILDING which was not to be entered by mortals, on pain of death. This was made known not only by the well armed guards, but by the imposing sign, which stated, in all three languages:

        NO ADMISSION (King's English)

        PAS D'ADMISSION (French)

        KEEP OUT (AMERICAN)

  2. Tom Paine Silver badge
    Thumb Up

    Couldn't be arsed. Elevenses.

    Unfortunately one welcome this outbreak of transparency in journalism. Especially during an election. Any chance of the culture's baleful glare turning on the clowns and imbeciles currently trying to get our votes?

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Couldn't be arsed. Elevenses.

      No, please no. Let el'reg be a sanctuary against the p!sh we're about to go through yet again. As a Scot I've had to vote in elections and referendum far too often recently. I'm bored of it and the SNP.

      1. heyrick Silver badge

        Re: Couldn't be arsed. Elevenses.

        "I'm bored of it and the SNP."

        Eh? An independence referendum, an EU referendum, a local election, and an upcoming general election following the one two years ago?

        In essence, you're complaining because you were expected to get out and vote for something five times in the last three years? No wonder democracy is screwed.

        1. dbtx Bronze badge

          Democracy is two wolves and a sheep deciding on what's for dinner. CBA either

    2. Dan 55 Silver badge

      Re: Couldn't be arsed. Elevenses.

      Does he really want to be woken up and godforesaken-o'clock to be asked what he thinks about it?

  3. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    (delete as appropriate)

    Here it is for your amusement / enragement / indifference.

    Same for "fandroids", "winblows", "microshaft", etc.

    1. Barry Rueger Silver badge

      Re: (delete as appropriate)

      Up vote for you. Most of these epithets became tedious a week after they were coined. Now they just embarrass the writer.

      1. Crazy Operations Guy Silver badge

        Re: (delete as appropriate)

        A week? I'd say they were tedious the second they were uttered.

        I must admit, those words do have their uses, the foremost as an indicator that the writer has nothing useful to add to the conversation and can be safely ignored, a shit-boleth, if you will.

  4. NoneSuch
    Coat

    I'll bet some of them baaaaather to complain.

    1. AndrueC Silver badge
      Coat

      Not if someone pulls the wool over their eyes.

    2. Hollerithevo Silver badge

      Nah

      Herd that one before.

      1. jake Silver badge

        Re: Nah

        Have you not heard of a "flock"? As in "The shaman fleeced his/er flock of sheeple".

    3. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      I'm not sure what you're bleating on about?

  5. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Everyone is a sheeple!

    Microsoft has its loyalists and so does Android and any other company!

    1. magickmark
      Trollface

      Re: Everyone is a sheeple!

      Do Android users dream of Electric Sheeple?

      1. Bob Hoskins
        Pint

        Re: Everyone is a sheeple!

        Comment of the year!

    2. jake Silver badge

      Re: Everyone is a sheeple!

      Not true. Some of us are equal opportunity skeptics.

    3. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Everyone is a sheeple!

      OK, so I will spell it out.

      iPhone is a consumer product, Android is not. The 1000's of unique devices that run Android means that you claim fails.

      Or for something that Apple plebs might be able to understand, an simple analogy:

      You can be a sheepie to a specific make of car (say a BMW M5) but you can't be a sheepie to say Petrol cars in general.

      This is a regular failing of sheepies, they think all Android phones are the same, as because they tried a £99 Android phone in 2012 and it wasn't a patch on their £1000 iPhone, it therefore clearly applies that all Android phones must adhere to that cretin logic.

      1. DougS Silver badge

        Re: Everyone is a sheeple!

        A regular failing of Fandroids is belief that the only reason someone could possibly prefer iPhone over Android is outdated information, like your 2012 Android phone example.

      2. werdsmith Silver badge

        Re: Everyone is a sheeple!

        This is a regular failing of sheepies, they think all Android phones are the same, as because they tried a £99 Android phone in 2012 and it wasn't a patch on their £1000 iPhone, it therefore clearly applies that all Android phones must adhere to that cretin logic.

        I've no problem with Android phones, I've seen that there is some really wonderful hardware available.

        It's the f***ing OS that I can't stand, it's like someone built that BMW M5 and then put the engine from a lawnmower in it.

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: Everyone is a sheeple!

          Which falls I to don't judge all android phones based on your experience of one (likely a Samsung one).

          Mine is blisteringly fast, has 2 days of battery life, a superb camera and the OS is a proper grown up os that supports proper grown up stuff, like proper multitasking, proper app sandboxing and proper app background services.

          It destroys anything Apple has to offer and it costs less too (but then I am not funding Apple stores, freebie press "gifts", Apple spacestation and other nonsense that adds a couple of hundred quid to the cost of every Apple handset)

          1. DougS Silver badge

            Re: Everyone is a sheeple!

            "Destroys" anything Apple has to offer in what sense? Certainly not CPU performance, Samsung & Qualcomm SoCs are so far behind Apple's on single thread performance they aren't even playing the same game. They beat Apple on multithreaded performance, but just barely and only because they have double the number of cores!

      3. dbtx Bronze badge
        Meh

        Re: Everyone is a sheeple!

        but they seem to have suggested not that Android was a product (as you implied in your rebuttal) but a company... oh dear. AC, is it pasture bedtime or something?

  6. pxd

    M-W: grammar not a strength, then . . .

    "Apple's debuted a battery case for the juice-sucking iPhone – an ungainly lumpy case the sheeple will happily shell out $99 for." How about: "Apple's introduced a battery case for the juice-sucking iPhone – an ungainly lumpy case for which the sheeple will happily shell out $99." FTFY.

    By the way, I actually own one of these cases - very useful if you plan a long walk somewhere, using your phone plus a digital OS map, plus GPS. With the case fitted, I reckon two full days of walking between charges is possible - not bad, given continuous GPS use; and it fits in your pocket. Baaa! pxd

    1. werdsmith Silver badge

      Re: M-W: grammar not a strength, then . . .

      I've got a power bank and cable, cost £7.99, claims 6000mAh and fits in your pocket.

      1. quxinot

        Re: M-W: grammar not a strength, then . . .

        I've got a phone with a removable battery. If it ages, I can replace it. And currently, sporting an oversized battery, so added on bits are not required for walks of some significant distance.

        (There's also the option of saving battery power by the simple method of looking at things that aren't your phone, of course.)

        1. pxd

          Re: M-W: grammar not a strength, then . . .

          Better - only one item to juggle using a non-iPhone with an oversized battery fitted; and I bet it didn't cost $99, either. I quite accept the fact that I am one of the sheeple, but that is my choice and I can afford it, so who cares? Your point about (I assume) maps, though: if you can use a map and compass to navigate securely in wind and rain and (particularly) dark and/or fog, and be supremely confident about where you are at all times, you're a much better orienteer-person than me. You'll still be juggling three things at minimum, though - just one for me. I spent a large chunk of my youth as a scout, learning how to do it the other way, and I don't miss it at all. I'm sure there's a proto-European looking down at us, feeling smug about his/her ability to find their way out of Africa without maps or compasses, too. pxd

      2. pxd

        Re: M-W: grammar not a strength, then . . .

        Sure - but more bits and pieces in your pocket. pxd

        1. werdsmith Silver badge

          Re: M-W: grammar not a strength, then . . .

          Sure - but more bits and pieces in your pocket. px

          Or on the 95% of occasions that I don't need it, less.

    2. jake Silver badge

      Re: M-W: grammar not a strength, then . . .

      I've got a map in my back pocket, and I know where the sun is.

      Seriously, put down the electronics and get outside and enjoy yourself! Furrfu!

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: M-W: grammar not a strength, then . . .

        What's a map? Isn't that a google website? How'd you put it in your back pocket?

      2. Doctor Syntax Silver badge

        Re: M-W: grammar not a strength, then . . .

        "and I know where the sun is"

        Yes, it's somewhere above all the thick clouds. YMDV

      3. Michael Thibault

        Re: M-W: grammar not a strength, then . . .

        You don't need a map. And you don't need a Jesus phone, either; just accept that you can't walk on water and you should be fine.

  7. steview

    Missed pun opportunity...

    Can't believe you didn't go with:

    "Apple fanbois are officially sheeple. Yes, you *herd*. Deal with it".

    Yes, I know it's a flock/drove or whatever, but still, what a waste!

    1. 45RPM Silver badge

      Re: Missed pun opportunity...

      Ewe missed an opportunity there, but it was a good pun so I won’t ram it home by bleating on about it. I’m ovine a good time just reading the comments here. Nothing woolly about these gags.

    2. Hollerithevo Silver badge

      Re: Missed pun opportunity...

      Missed this one when I posted my own 'herd'. I skipped like a lamb when I thought of it, but now I realise I don't have the chops to be a punster. Hoofing it out of here...

  8. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Top Tip

    Earn spare cash for the weekend by writing utter b*ll*cks on tabloid websites.

    1. IsJustabloke Silver badge
      Facepalm

      Re: Top Tip

      if only it wasn't compulsory to read it....

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: writing utter b*ll*cks on tabloid websites.

      They pay you to post bollocks? Where's my cheque? I regularly talk crap!

      1. jake Silver badge

        Re: writing utter b*ll*cks on tabloid websites.

        You only get paid if you have never posted AC, and never "censored" yourself with useless fucking ***s.

        1. Crazy Operations Guy Silver badge

          Re: writing utter b*ll*cks on tabloid websites.

          "never "censored" yourself with useless fucking ***s"

          I am ashamed to admit that I spent longer than what is reasonable trying to decode what you were trying to say, but couldn't figure out what obscenity was 4-letters long and ended with an 's'...

          1. Anonymous Coward
            Anonymous Coward

            Re: writing utter b*ll*cks on tabloid websites.

            piss

            just a suggestion

  9. dave 93

    More Apple ClickBait

    From the site that loves to hate on Apple, despite all their hacks using iPhones and Macs. Sad...

    1. Voyna i Mor Silver badge

      Re: More Apple ClickBait

      Did you fail to notice the "Biting the hand that feeds IT"?

      It has been on the masthead for rather a long time.

    2. David Webb

      Re: More Apple ClickBait

      Yeah, El Reg been doing this for years, having a crack at pretty much any IT company you can think of from HP to Intel to Microsoft to BAE. Guess which companies still advertise on El Reg though? Yes, the ones that get slammed by articles on this site, except Apple which bans them from any Apple gathering, press release or anything to do with the company. Vultures might eat dead sheeple.

      1. Voyna i Mor Silver badge

        Re: More Apple ClickBait

        "Yeah, El Reg been doing this for years, having a crack at pretty much any IT company you can think of from HP to Intel to Microsoft to BAE"

        Non-left-coast companies seem more often to abide by the rule that there is no such thing as bad publicity. It is said that Lord Beaverbrook rewarded the cartoonist Jak very well for a cartoon involving the Duke of Edinburgh, Beaverbrook and a number of Yeoman Warders. The caption was, IIRC:

        "The Express is a bloody awful newspaper" said the Duke.

        "Ah well," said Lord B as they trotted him off to the Tower, "At least he reads it or he wouldn't know it was a bloody awful newspaper."

    3. sabroni Silver badge

      Re: From the site that loves to hate on Apple

      Aww, were the nasty journalists rude about your favourite global corporation? What a bunch of bastards....

      1. Louis Schreurs BEng
        Devil

        Re: From the site that loves to hate on Apple

        Rudeness unit from El Reg;

        Rudeness estimated: 11.5 Sheeple

    4. jake Silver badge

      Re: More Apple ClickBait

      ElReg hacks use Macs? The few I have corresponded with use Linux ...

    5. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: More Apple ClickBait

      You know they all got them as freebies right? Nobody in the press ever pays for Apple products, they get them in exchange for writing nice things about Apple products. Apple users fund this bribery of course, it's why Apple products have a 30% premium tax ontop, despite being less than premium devices....

      1. diodesign (Written by Reg staff) Silver badge

        Re: Anonymous

        "You know they all got them as freebies right?"

        Any Apple gear we use, we paid for it. Apple has never given us any gear, not in the six years I've been here. We use a mix of Windows, macOS and Linux on the desktop, Linux on the backend, and iOS and Android handhelds (and until recently, Windows Phone).

        C.

        1. Martin Summers Silver badge

          Re: Anonymous

          "(and until recently, Windows Phone)"

          What?!! Rat them out, go on! :-)

    6. Tom 7 Silver badge

      Re: More Apple ClickBait

      Well the sheeple rise to the bait with surprising consistency. Its almost not worth fishing as a sport anymore,

  10. Anal Leakage

    We found this news item by searching...

    ...Google Cockchugging — the NSA's #1 choice

  11. Nuno trancoso

    The Apple sheeple taking offense are so amusing. Wonder if they realize that their but hurt retorts are precisely what marks them as sheeple, fanbois and zealots all rolled into a unsightly package...

  12. 45RPM Silver badge

    @Nuno trancoso

    I think that wisdom, and tolerance, come with age (mind you, I would think that). When I was young, I couldn't understand why anyone would support anything other than 'my team'. I'd be riled, indignant, huffy and argumentative with anyone who didn't see matters my way. I'd be bloody rude too.

    When I got older, and more mature, I realised that just because something works well for me it might not work well for everyone. I learned to appreciate other people's point of view. iOS, for example, works very well for me, Windows Phone (RIP) looked nice, and Android isn't really my thing (which is to say it looks really nice, and I understand why people like it, but it doesn't work for me).

    So yes, there are Apple 'sheeple' whose feelings are hurt when you criticise their preferred platform. But why would you want to hurt their feelings? Insecurity? A niggling fear that they might be right and you wrong? Or the cruelty and immaturity of not being able to live and let live. Similarly, there are people whose feelings are hurt when Linux, Android or Windows are criticised - sheeple for a different brand. It's worth bearing in mind - and then using the knowledge to treat them a little more gently, if nothing more but for fear of wearing your own insecurities on your sleeve.

    I still get riled by some things of course (people who criticise the platform they see as their 'enemy' without giving it a good shake down first, people who buy something for reasons of fashion rather than anything else, Donald Trump), but I usually manage to keep mum and my opinion to myself.

    1. Mark 85 Silver badge

      Good points and here in the States, the motor-heads have the same "I'm offended" outlook if someone bad mouths their car brand. I'm thinking it is insecurity and youth in almost every case. Oh.. physical age doesn't enter in to this equation either.

      Footnote... politics draws them out of the walls also...

      1. Solmyr ibn Wali Barad

        "I'm thinking it is insecurity and youth in almost every case."

        Could also be a form of tribalism caused by a inner need to belong somewhere. Although that's closely related to insecurity.

        Or a pseudo-religious zeal, in other words an application of religious feelings towards some mundane object/person/group/whatever. This one is pretty dangerous, because it invariably takes criticism as an attack towards the holiness of...whatever it was that you supposedly treaded on. There can be only one kind of response to that wretched infidel. Only the righteous wrath shall do. And no holds shall be barred in the holy war.

    2. Louis Schreurs BEng

      I like to think that if you don't get offended by aforementioned, you don't belong to the sheeple.

      i.e. only sheeple get offended

  13. Anonymous C0ward

    I am a sheeple too now

    Just bought an iPhone on eBay.

    1. Voyna i Mor Silver badge

      Re: I am a sheeple too now - Just bought an iPhone on eBay.

      Just do check the approvals on the power adaptor.

  14. Jason Bloomberg Silver badge
    Joke

    Sheeple in the UK

    Is it 52%, 48%, or simply 100%?

    1. Pompous Git Silver badge
      Happy

      Re: Sheeple in the UK

      "Is it 52%, 48%, or simply 100%?"
      Does anybody give a flock?

  15. Anonymous Coward
    Stop

    No.

    We are officially right.

    1. jake Silver badge

      Re: No.

      Who is "we", Kemosabe?

      Hint: TINW

  16. Ian Joyner

    Fanbois and Sheeple

    Fanbois and sheeple are two words I despise. Those who use them usually have an arrogant sense of superiority who they see as feeble minded sheeple.

    Here the Register uses both words, and constantly whenever Apple is mentioned use fanboi.

    Time somebody at Register grew up and stuck to holding technology companies to account without insulting those who have to buy technology to participate in the modern world.

  17. Big_Boomer

    Apple as a company operates on a lock in basis. BMW operate in a similar way and so do Samsung. Simply put they make it easy for you to stay with their products, but difficult to move to another manufacturers product. Now this makes good sense as a business strategy, but for the customers who bought into them it means that they will carry on paying over the odds for something that many others are getting much cheaper. It's the same kind of thing as with your Insurance renewal. They almost always hike the price as it is perceived by many as easier to just renew even if it costs £100 more. Those on the inside of a lock-in feel smug as they feel (and are often told) that they have a superior product. Those on the outside see that those inside are paying more for pretty much the same thing as anyone else and therefore see them as sheeple.

    If you buy locked in products, renew your insurance without shopping around, and vote for what the press tell you to vote for, YOU ARE Sheeple! Baaaaaaaaaaaaa

    1. Ian Joyner

      All computing locks you into a platform.

      1. jake Silver badge

        @Ian Joyner

        Uh ... No.

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