back to article A very Canadian approach: How net neutrality rules reflect a country's true nature

Canadians are so reasonable. As far as we're aware there aren't any derogatory terms used by Canadians to describe their continental cousins below them – quite an achievement given the endless efforts by Americans to cajole and rile them at every opportunity. It's no secret either why Canadians are the go-to for peacekeeping …

  1. Dan 55 Silver badge
    Joke

    there aren't any derogatory terms used by Canadians to describe their continental cousins below them

    You've never read any Trevor Pott, published in this very same esteemed organ?

    Ok, back to the article.

    1. jake Silver badge
      Pint

      Re: there aren't any derogatory terms used by Canadians to describe their continental cousins

      To be sure, Canadians are simply disarmed Americans with health care.

      That said, most of my Canadian friends, when referring to us decoratively, use the term "Yanks", same as everyone else. Strangely enough, most of us Yanks don't find the term any more derogatory than most Canadians find the term Canuck derogatory.

      Beer. Because if you share a border, life's much happier if you can also share a beer.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: there aren't any derogatory terms used by Canadians to describe their continental cousins

        ... most of my Canadian friends, when referring to us decoratively, use the term "Yanks" ...

        Indeed. I've raked my brains for a while, and I can't come up with anything worse than "Yanks". Occasionally prefixed with "bloody".

        On the other hand, if you wish to broaden your vocabulary, there is also this invaluable resource:

        http://www.rsdb.org/race/canadians

        http://www.rsdb.org/race/americans

        1. TRT Silver badge

          Re: there aren't any derogatory terms used by Canadians to describe their continental cousins

          Why would they need another derogatory term? "American" seems to fit all round.

          1. Anonymous Coward
            Anonymous Coward

            Re: there aren't any derogatory terms used by Canadians to describe their continental cousins

            I know right. With "American" you get fat, stupid, arrogant, and "uses imperial units" for free.

            1. Anonymous Coward
              Anonymous Coward

              Re: uses imperial units

              Nothing wrong with imperial units, why do you think we have 800g loaves of bread not 1kg? Because 2lbs is a sensible amount of flour and 1kg is too much.

              Doing everything in 10s is easier, but easiest isn't always best.....

              1. This post has been deleted by its author

                1. TRT Silver badge

                  Re: uses imperial units

                  Dating back to 1266, the weight of bread has been legislated. Most famously the 1822 Bread Act meant bread was sold in multiples of 1lb until WW2 when, to save flour, the loaf was downsized to 14oz (397g). The same loaf tins could be used, of course. This "temporary" measure was adopted in law in 1963. Upon metrication in 1977, the 400g standard was adopted so that the factories didn't need expensive retooling. The whole shebang was abandoned in 2008, following an EU directive, allowing free-weight, artisanal bread such as baguettes and ciabattas to be sold legally, even though they had been sold for years under the exceptions for "small rolls, individual buns and morning goods".

                  1. paulf Silver badge
                    Meh

                    Re: uses imperial units

                    @TRT "The whole shebang was abandoned in 2008, following an EU directive, allowing free-weight, artisanal bread such as baguettes and ciabattas to be sold legally, even though they had been sold for years under the exceptions for "small rolls, individual buns and morning goods"."

                    Unfortunately the consequence (hopefully unintended) is that bread makers (primarily the ones that use cobbled streets and Muppets to advertise their wares) have since executed a double whammy price increase where they've reduced loaf sizes from 800g to 750g while still putting up the nominal price for a loaf.

                    I also wonder how the UK legislation differs from the intention of the EU directive. It wouldn't be the first time HMG used their own convenient interpretation of an EU directive to implement something to the benefit of their own interests and lobbyists (the privatisation of British Rail is a prime example).

          2. JoeCool
            Pint

            Re: there aren't any derogatory terms used by Canadians to describe their continental cousins

            "Why would they need another derogatory term? "American" seems to fit all round."

            Because, that actually refers to all inhabitants of the entire continent: north, central, and south.

            I sometimes break out "Unistatians" to be more specifc.

            Beer, so I don't have to think about the closeness of all that instability.

            1. veti Silver badge

              Re: there aren't any derogatory terms used by Canadians to describe their continental cousins

              @JoeCool: I've always preferred "USAliens".

          3. Gene Cash Silver badge

            Re: there aren't any derogatory terms used by Canadians to describe their continental cousins

            Indeed... "American-engineered" is my replacement for a much more racist term that my grandfather used.

          4. julian.smith

            Re: there aren't any derogatory terms used by Canadians to describe their continental cousins

            In Australia, Americans (Yanks) are known as Septic Tanks

            1. TheDillinquent

              Re: there aren't any derogatory terms used by Canadians to describe their continental cousins

              Septics (Cockney rhyming slang) - cos they're full of ......

        2. EvilGardenGnome
          Trollface

          Re: there aren't any derogatory terms used by Canadians to describe their continental cousins

          It depends what alternate activity one describes with the term 'yank'...

          Also, there's the joke about how Canada is bigger and on top, so in prison America would be our bitch. Or the one about the condoms. Or education. Or... Actually, yeah, we skipped right over nicknames and just tell jokes. Maybe it's the better education allowing us to use more than one word at a time.

          /s (only a little though). ;]

      2. sabroni Silver badge

        Re: Canadians are simply disarmed Americans with health care.

        Admittedly they don't have more guns than people like Americans do, but Wikipedia puts them at 11th in the world for armed residents so they're still pretty tasty. The fact they don't kill each other as much as citizens of the USA isn't because they don't have guns.....

      3. Hollerithevo Silver badge

        Re: there aren't any derogatory terms used by Canadians to describe their continental cousins

        Well, actually, we aren't "simply disarmed Americans with health care". That is called begging the question. Canadians are distinct from Americans and always have been. The entire basis of our history is different. In as sense, we came first: we were in Quebec (1604) and Newfoundland (1498) before anyone except the Spanish (who were just passing through) hit what would become the Thirteen Colonies.

        The very fact tat you throw in several insults into one phrase that makes Canucks very, very weary of Cousin Jonathan (an old 19th century term for Yanks) all too often. You just can't seem to resist it..

    2. Paul Renault

      Re: there aren't any derogatory terms used by Canadians...

      Yes, there is one: it's: "Americans".

      /It's just like the derogatory term the Scots have for the English...

    3. asdf Silver badge

      slight correction.

      >How net neutrality rules reflect a country's true nature

      How net neutrality rules reflect on a country's 1%ers. FIFY.

    4. Trevor_Pott Gold badge
      Coat

      Re: there aren't any derogatory terms used by Canadians to describe their continental cousins...

      @Dan55

      I was about to say...

      Also: Isn't "American" a derogatory term? I'll get my...

  2. mykingdomforanos
    Black Helicopters

    Shurely shome mishtake?

    Using Canadians as peacekeepers? Are you serious? When they behave like this?

    https://www.nytimes.com/2016/11/08/world/what-in-the-world/canada-denmark-hans-island-whisky-schnapps.html?_r=0

    1. allthecoolshortnamesweretaken Silver badge

      Re: Shurely shome mishtake?

      What in the World? indeed - Denmark doesn't have 'schnapps'. Denmark has Aquavit!

      Skål!

      1. This post has been deleted by its author

      2. veti Silver badge

        Re: Shurely shome mishtake?

        In journalese, "schnapps" is simply "generic strong liquor". Can't expect the New York Times to alienate its readers by forcing them to learn furrin words.

  3. LeoP

    Derogatory Term du jour

    I have had MASSIVE success by replacing every instance of "America" with "Trumpistan", "american" with "trumpian", "USA" with "UST", ... you get the drift.

    This tends to rellay lighten up (and lively up) interaction with our star-sprangled friends, especially if you make really sure they understand, that they pay a hefty Trump-tax for your services (and can do exactly nothing about it).

    1. Someone Else Silver badge

      Re: Derogatory Term du jour

      Well, US, doesn't quite get it. CSA is better (Corporate States of America, without the obligatory suffix, "Inc.")

  4. Lars Silver badge
    Happy

    Indeed

    Canada is to the USA much like Scotland to England as clearly shown in the Brexit vote. Just more decent, more sensible and much like the northern part of Europe, nothing new there, just common sense.

    1. Hollerithevo Silver badge

      Re: Indeed

      Except that we are actually an independent country.

      1. Lars Silver badge
        Happy

        Re: Indeed

        @ Hollerithevo

        If your comment was for me, then please, I am not mixed up in that respect. Only some of the English can at times be a bit mixed up like here:

        "That might be, but consider that Great Britain still has a number of countries under its commonwealth".

        https://forums.theregister.co.uk/forum/1/2017/03/22/rockall_peak_blasted_off_navy_expedition/

        What I have come to understand is that there are clear similarities between countries in the north like Finland, Sweden, Denmark, Norway, Iceland, Scotland, Canada and parts of northern Germany and Holland and even in the non Russian part of Estonia. The similarities are in the attitude towards social security, health care, education and democracy.

        I would claim that one of the main "feelings" among the Brexit voters was what I have described as a "post empire trauma" and some seem to refer to as "rule the waves".

        The Scots don't suffer that disease in that extent at all.

        And I find this vid quite revealing too with some straight forward words by one who has recovered.

        https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NiY5RPXyEfU

        .

        1. JeffyPoooh Silver badge
          Pint

          Re: Indeed

          Lars noted "...clear similarities between countries in the north..."

          It's quite easy to explain. It's very cold in the north during the Winter. If you ran a northern country as a pure free market, with no social safety net, no health insurance, just a free for all, then the snow banks would be full of the unfortunate poor and sickly, all frozen-to-death. Then in the Spring, they'd all melt at once. It'd be horrific, and attract bears. This is why Socialism is pretty much the rule in the north.

          Russians as an exception? They're so full of vodka that they don't freeze-to-death. In the Spring the poor emerge from the melting snow bank, brush themselves off and wander off looking for another bottle.

    2. Aladdin Sane Silver badge

      Re: Just more decent, more sensible

      Have you never seen Trainspotting? Or an old firm derby?

      1. BebopWeBop Silver badge

        Re: Just more decent, more sensible

        Or the Edinburgh festival perchance?

  5. Alistair Silver badge
    Pint

    WEeeeeellll...

    1) FD: I've been in the telecom biz for ....... 20 years now. *sigh* (with one of the big three)

    2) FD2: I was born in Lynn Massachusetts, and became a naturalized Canadian citizen ummm, well before I was a legal adult.

    Americans in general: Yanks

    Americans in political frenzy: The Excited Snakes.

    Americans in foreign country (on vacation): Impatiens. (think about it for 2 minutes)

    American military in foreign country: Bootheels.

    American TSA officers: puppets.

    The CRTC *at this moment* has found that there are three sets of influence on their decision making processes. Sadly, through the 90's and the '00's they were not hearing one point of view, however they were *waiting* to see how things panned out elsewhere on certain fronts. Thus we have a set of internet rules that actually make some sense. It helps that these folks OpenMedia have been hammering on these issues that are faced by internet providers, regulators and consumers. Another point is that most of the folks in the business who have a technical clue realize just how futile the corporate efforts to bottle and package the consumers are. There were efforts to avoid Local Loop unbundling, especially in the 90's with loop costs in some cases being 2 or 3 times the cost of a package. This was demonstrated in a court to be unfair business, and the legal context is very unlikely to be challenged since it will require the challenger to demonstrate specific costs with concrete proofs. local number portability had to be legally enforced, and since there'd been such resistance, when the order did come down it was fast and hard. Why? because the big three seriously did not realize that the entire country could be cut off from the rest of the globe on the telecoms front if they did not let go. I've heard some fantastic names for JT, but I'll point out three things

    1) due to a CRTC decision 6 months ago my internet costs are now 62% of what they were then. Based on (shared access) pipes and what the physical carriers are allowed to charge the VIPs (thats virtual internet providers)

    2) I can get a package for internet/phone/television/otherservices from no less than 8 providers now. On whatever pipe comes into my home. And the pipe owner is not permitted to block or delay that process *compared to their own delivery*. They are permitted to charge only specific monthly fees *that have to be itemized* to the end user

    3) If my (visiting) 13 year old (relative) downloads 8 hours of pron from torrent sites and gets tagged for it, I get a letter saying "don't do that again" that has *almost* 0 legal weight. And the bait and switch teams, legal scam operations and american corporate entities that are stealing artistic *value* from the globe in an effort to protect a content delivery industry that is 50 years out of date cannot touch me.

    And goddamn it yes I am a Canadian. Sometimes cranky, but that has more to do with the idiots that can't process a coherent thought. I love my Timmies and my bacon and I'm as likely to be found on the deck BBQ'ing in January as in June. With a beer. From someone like 5 Paddles. BBQing Bacon.

    Here's a beer for the folks at OpenMedia and the CRTC chaps.

  6. Packet

    The CRTC has actually been very smart - in this country with our 3 big telco providers, this is necessary to avoid the small amount of competition getting completely stifled.

    Also, on the topic of Canada being distinct from the US, my contribution is this: in a McDonald's in Canada, you can get a bacon egg McMuffin - you cannot get that in the US. Over there, you get plain egg McMuffins.

    I noticed that a few years ago, on my trips to the US and rather confused the poor server at the establishment.

    1. Sleep deprived
      Happy

      McDonald's breakfast

      Unless you're broke, there's little point going to the golden arches when there's a better Cracker Barrel nearby.

      1. Packet

        Re: McDonald's breakfast

        Sir,

        Do not disparage the bacon egg McMuffin - bacon with cheese on an egg on an English muffin.

        For God's sake, man - only a terrorist would deny the greatness of such a thing.

      2. Throatwarbler Mangrove Silver badge
        FAIL

        Re: McDonald's breakfast

        "a better Cracker Barrel"

        A . . . a what now? I had the dire misfortune to eat at Cracker Barrel on a visit to Illinois, and I recall that the flavor of polyurethane prevailed throughout. My wife was a vegetarian at the time, and there was just about nothing she could eat (of course, that was largely true of the entire state of Illinois). I can't necessarily say that McDonald's is better, but it's at least cheaper and you can make a quicker escape.

  7. Someone Else Silver badge
    Thumb Up

    "Avoid getting sucked into Trump's vortex,"

    Best advice anyone could give anyone else.

  8. ma1010 Silver badge
    Alert

    Correction Needed

    The actual view of the current US Government seems to be misstated in your article.

    "...what you need is free markets no restrictions on go-getting oligopoly corporations and innovation putting it to the consumers up the wazoo"

    There, FTFY

  9. Will Godfrey Silver badge
    Pint

    Temperature?

    Generally, it seems the further North you go, the more reasonable people get.

    Beer, cos that's pretty reasonable too.

    1. ITS Retired

      Re: Temperature?

      It is the higher temperatures, the farther south you go that fries the brain. Even North Dakotan and Minnesotans are affected by the extra heat.

      I find Canadians more laid back and friendlier all round than us USAns... And better educated on current events too.

  10. William Higinbotham
    Pint

    Tempature

    Will Godfrey final comment sounded like Bob and Doug Mckenzie describing net neutrality:-)

    1. Someone Else Silver badge
      Coat

      Re: Tempature

      Nah, couldn't have been Doug and Bob, because Will Godfrey forgot the obligatory ending punctuation, "eh?"

  11. W. Anderson

    Shallow USA

    Apart from all the tongue-in-cheek comments, Canaduans have proven to be more civilized - as opposed to term barbarian than many of lf not most Americans.

    Having lived in both countries, the differences to me are quite stark, and while Americans can and will incessantly spou mantra of USA being "Greatest nation in the world", and "Liberty and Justice for All" , the reality bespeaks a vast population that is ignorant abount most any topic not American - and even then they are without facts, arrogant in their ignorance and boasting about being better than anyone else, while losing a good quality of life even as the country implodes.

  12. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    G2G

    I have my ExpressVPN, I have my Netflix, I'm good to go. I feel sorry for all the Yanks but I don't think people in Canada have anything to worry about.

  13. Chemical Bob Bronze badge
    Coat

    given the endless efforts by Americans to cajole and rile them

    That's not fair! I haven't done anything to rile the Canadians since Tuesday!

    Oh, wait, *today* is Tuesday...

    ...nevermind.

    1. Aladdin Sane Silver badge

      Re: given the endless efforts by Americans to cajole and rile them

      Did you wake up listening to Heat of the Moment by Asia?

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