back to article Teenagers think Doritos are cooler than Apple

A Google-sponsored study into how teenagers view brands has some bad news for tech companies desperately wanting to be cool. While YouTube takes the (dubious) prize by a considerable margin, Apple lags behind junk food favourites Doritos and Oreos, "the world's favourite cookie". Android emerges ahead of Beats by Dre, for …

  1. malle-herbert
    Facepalm

    Teenagers think Google is cool...

    Until they grow up and realise that every aspect of their lives has been filed away in a database and is being monetised by greedy money-grubbing ad-slinging marketing a-holes...

    1. chivo243 Silver badge
      Headmaster

      Re: Teenagers think Google is cool...

      @malle-herbert

      +1

      And they think the price is right... I'd like to be present when they realize they are the product.

      1. Hans Neeson-Bumpsadese Silver badge

        Re: Teenagers think Google is cool...

        If they think the price is right, they've haven't realised what the price is.

        Too many (all?) millennials seem to expect 'free at the point of use' but don't stop to consider whether or not something remains free down the line.

    2. Sir Sham Cad

      Re: Teenagers think Google is cool...

      They know, they just don't care because, for them, that's the way it's always been.

    3. Tom 7 Silver badge

      Re: Teenagers think Google is cool...

      Its not like they're going to have any money to prised from their digits though.

  2. Captain Hogwash Silver badge

    Generation Z

    Because they're always half asleep?

    1. allthecoolshortnamesweretaken

      Re: Generation Z

      How will the generations after that be labelled? AA, AB, AC and so on, like the columns in a spreadsheet?

      1. Tannin

        Re: Generation Z

        There won't be any need for Generations AA, AB, and AC because, let's face reality here - Gen Z will be too busy "communicating" and "updating" on their pocket gadgets to ever learn the skills required to get pregnant, such as meeting people and possibly even talking to them.

        (Yes, yes, there are apps for that. But why would Generation Z nother using them when they can achieve a functionally equivalent result with just one hand, leaving the other free for fondling the gadget?)

        (Err ... some ambiguity there about which gadget is being fondled. Not that there is anything wrong with thet.)

  3. John Lilburne

    Scanning down my RSS feeds ...

    ... I thought this was a dailymash spoof. Poe's law in action.

  4. Justin Case

    Who gives a stuff what teenagers think?

    Inexperienced, idiotic onanists, the lot of them. They should be kept in their place and encouraged to keep quiet. Making them feel like valued members of society with a valid contribution to make will only lead to trouble.

  5. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Doritos

    Triangular cardboard-ish chips could only possibly be cool in an alternate universe.

    *looks at Trump*

    *looks at Brexit*

    Oh :(

  6. FuzzyTheBear
    Thumb Up

    What's cool ?

    Yeah Doritos man .. btw , at the moment they got ketchup Doritos for a short while , awesome d00d ..

    And no , they haven't got databases with all your life in it. So 2 reasons right there to like Doritos more than Google. Pathetic ? you bet :) As for Apple ..there's billions of things on earth cooler than them , they're called girls :)

  7. Baldrickk Silver badge

    What is cool?

    I'd be interested to know how this survey was done - I can see Youtube being ranked as cool - while other video sharing sites exist, it's by far the biggest (at least in the West) and has pretty much a bit of everything there.

    Google itself though - it's very easy to think of it as just a search engine - as a brand that is. YouTube has its own brand for example.

    Chrome is just a browser

    Neither are particularly 'cool' you don't get people hanging out on street corners talking about what browser they use.

    That cool downhill biking video they recorded on their GoPro and put on YouTube however? I can see that.

    1. Pedigree-Pete
      Go

      Re: Doritos

      Take a peak into the world of Tournament Paintball (at least in the USA) Doritos ARE cool. This side of the pond we call them Tea Bags. PP

      https://www.facebook.com/CPPSpaintball/

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Who gives a stuff what teenagers think?

      "Inexperienced, idiotic onanists, the lot of them. They should be kept in their place and encouraged to keep quiet. "

      You remind me of LJK Setright writing, in Bike magazine, that teenagers shouldn't be out on mopeds, they should be at home doing their violin practice.

      1. Tannin

        Re: Who gives a stuff what teenagers think?

        Upvote for remembering Setright.

      2. sebt
        Coat

        Re: Who gives a stuff what teenagers think?

        Give them a chance. We all had to go through our teenage years to become the experienced, clever onanists we are now.

        (mine's the one with pocket-slits but no pockets inside them)

    3. Dave 126 Silver badge

      Re: What is cool?

      As a teenager in the nineties, I'm glad I gave PC computer gaming a rest for mountain biking - my health and social life benefitted no end. Video cameras were far a few between, though we borrowed one occasionally. There were obviously no Go-Pros, but there was a company that rented out helmet-cameras, linked by a cable to the storage medium. We couldn't afford their services.

      A lot of our own sense of identity was wrapped up in doing silly stuff on bikes, but back in the nineties it wasn't broadcast over the internet, or indeed to our wider peer group. In fact, we didn't have the internet, and found a wider 'community' in printed magazines, mountain bike trade shows and festivals.

      Bike brands were 'cool' to us. I still love the original square-shaped Hope Technology logo.

      Quite a few of the older mountain bikers worked in tech. If you're reading, you'll be pleased to note that Missy Giove from Team Volvo Cannondale has finished her sentence for smuggling 200 lbs of marijuana and is back on her bike.

      Of course, as dumb teenagers, we didn't know what Traumatic Brain Injuries were, and likely wouldn't have changed our behaviour even if we had.

      What once seemed cool (no regard for safety) now seems a bit stupid. But fun!

    4. Dave 126 Silver badge

      Re: Who gives a stuff what teenagers think?

      People selling to teenagers care what teenagers think.

      1. Pen-y-gors Silver badge

        Re: Who gives a stuff what teenagers think?

        People selling to teenagers care what teenagers think.

        You mean teenagers today have access to money? Of their own? Believe me, no good will come of it. What happened to seven-year unpaid apprenticeships?

    5. Daniel von Asmuth
      Pirate

      Re: What is cool?

      Do teens really find Apple cool? YouTube? Wall Street Journal? How does El Reg stack up against those old-skool brands?

    6. peterm3

      Re: Doritos

      Triangular chips?

  8. big_D Silver badge
    Coat

    Oreos

    I had to google Oreos and Doritos...

    Edit: No old man icon.

    1. A K Stiles
      Joke

      Re: Oreos

      Kind of like the circular offspring of a bourbon and a custard cream?

      1. Pen-y-gors Silver badge

        Re: Oreos

        Kind of like the *bastard* circular offspring of a bourbon and a custard cream?

        FTFY

    2. Blank Reg

      Re: Oreos

      Oreos are over 100 years old, I'm impressed that a centenarian is posting on a tech site :)

      1. big_D Silver badge

        Re: Oreos

        Nope, but I don't live in the USA...

        I have a feeling that they arrived in the UK around the time I emigrated. I remember hearing the name on US series at the end of the 90s, but it was an unknown product to me. The same with Doritos.

    3. Steve Davies 3 Silver badge

      Re: Oreos

      Oreos? Oh those things that are loaded up with all that horrible High Fructose Corn Syrup? Ugh

      Give me a Rich Tea (And a cuppa) any day.

  9. Anonymous Coward
    Mushroom

    Teenagers are idiots...

    I should know. I was one once.

    1. chivo243 Silver badge
      Coat

      Re: Teenagers are idiots...

      Me too, and to remind myself daily, I work in a school...

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Teenagers are idiots...

      "I should know. I was one once."

      I think that, except for very precocious little brats who should be doing something more constructive, just about everybody who posts on El Reg should look back and concur. It's the hormones from our simian ancestry making us unsufferable so the parents will kick us out to form our own groups, and so reduce inbreeding. Evolution just hadn't reckoned with tuition fees and house prices, because teleology isn't really a thing.

    3. Geoffrey W Silver badge

      Re: Teenagers are idiots...

      When I was a teenager I hated other teenagers. Much preferred older people, but they didn't seem as keen on me.

    4. Anonymous Coward
      Trollface

      Re: Teenagers are idiots...

      This is why culturally around the world we refer to 'a council of elders'.

      Ask Teenagers anything not only is it most likely going to be wrong but outright retarded.

  10. Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse Silver badge

    Since when was "Chrome" a brand?

    Just sayin'.

  11. Steve Davies 3 Silver badge

    So a Google sponsored survey

    thinks that Google and its companies are cooler than Apple????

    Is the Pope Catholic?

    Would this have been even released if it had been the other way around?

    Besides, everyone knows that Apple isn't cool anymore so why did it need a survey to tell us?

  12. Joe Drunk
    Childcatcher

    Teenagers AKA (Attention-Span Disadvantaged)

    They think Doritos are cool...That was five minutes ago. Now something else on social media is cool for another few minutes.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Teenagers AKA (Attention-Span Disadvantaged)

      don't you mean something on a new cool Social Media site? Isn't the likes of Facebork for oldies these days? Would these 'cool' milleniums be seen dead using FB? or Twitter?

      I woudn't know as I don't have a account on any SM (Social Media not the other thing) site.

  13. Snivelling Wretch

    Is "cool" even cool?

    I thought things were "book" for a short while, but are now more commonly "sick"? Or is "sick" the new "wicked"? Is it still cool to say "cool"?

    I daresay I will find out soon enough as the wretchlings get a bit older. Laters...

    1. Geoffrey W Silver badge

      Re: Is "cool" even cool?

      Silence is the new thing...getting back to core surly. Words are so passe'

  14. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Corporate brands are not cool. One Che Guevara t-shirt is the only possession a teenager needs.

  15. jbelkin

    Shocking.

    A survey paid for by Google says Google is cool.

    I would hope so.

    Meanwhile, they failed yet again with another phone.

    As long as Google is free, it's useable but ay for anything Google? hardware? yourtube red - no thanks.

  16. Ian Joyner Bronze badge

    Ugh

    Entities (people and companies) that proclaim themselves as cool or try to act cool certainly are NOT cool.

    Marketing at Oreo proclaims itself 'the world's favourite cookie". Something that tastes like cardboard - roll eyes "Only Oreo"!

    1. A K Stiles

      Re: Ugh

      I think that's the same marketing company as the 'World Series', right?

POST COMMENT House rules

Not a member of The Register? Create a new account here.

  • Enter your comment

  • Add an icon

Anonymous cowards cannot choose their icon

Biting the hand that feeds IT © 1998–2019