back to article Franken-firm DXC Technology is born today, the fun begins...

Franken-firm DXC Technology, the corporate mash-up between CSC and HPE Enterprise Services that was brought to life today, has urged staff to turn up to work in fancy dress, or at least corporate colours, to celebrate the launch. Memos - seen by us - were sent to staff of the new company at the end of last week, listing all of …

  1. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Very clever....

    ...make people want to quit, saves on redundancy.

  2. TheProf
    Unhappy

    Silent scream

    Quite the most horrific thing I've read in ages.

  3. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    For Whom the Bell Tolls

    Yes, come dressed in black and white so they can stage those stupid photos with bodies spelling out "DXC".

    That's a bit like a farmer getting his turkeys to line up and spell "HAPPY CHRISTMAS".

    As for watching Lawrie ring the Wall Street bell... "never send to know for whom the bell tolls; it tolls for thee"

  4. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Black and white? Fancy dress?

    If I were attending, it would have to be as Dracula or an Undertaker.

    Black and White Minstrels? Turning the volume down before looking at that one recommended.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Black and white? Fancy dress?

      Dr Sheldon Cooper would have gone as the doppler effect ... but he is way to smart to work for DXC

  5. 8Ace

    God I hate that word ..

    “we will be serving branded cupcakes for all”

    It's a BUN, how the hell did English on this side of the water get polluted with words such as cupcake ????

    1. bilbosmith

      Re: God I hate that word ..

      Of all the things to be annoyed about!!

      1. 8Ace

        Re: God I hate that word ..

        Just one of many !

    2. Des

      Re: God I hate that word ..

      You would probably enjoy Micheal McIntyre's take on American English then... https://youtu.be/5wSw3IWRJa0

  6. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    BTW El Reg

    You must have missed the DXC shareholder presentation last week... the one where they said they'd close half the sites, reduce staff costs by $1.1bn in the first three years and achieve greater than 80% "low cost centre" workforce.

    Yeah, us staff we're all VERY excited about DXC Day1... much more like Pol Pot's Year Zero.

    Oh and these damned souls are the ones Lawrie and co want to see cheering this day? Really...

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: BTW El Reg

      170,000 employees as of today.

      50% are already in low cost centers.

      They want 60% in low cost centers by the end of the first year, so that's presumably 20% of the 85,000 in higher cost centers. Assuming no change in overall employee numbers, that's 17,000 people to be shown the door this year. However, if it's a reduction in overall numbers, then it could be up to 29,000 or so.

      As if this wasn't happy enough, in 3 years, it will be 50% of the 85,000 affected.

      It's certainly a world leader in out of control despair spirals.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: BTW El Reg

        No, I think the figure is going to be grimmer than that - both a circa 20k headcount reduction and then a 50% offshore/nearshore/rightshore/RIFshore of jobs in the West (USA/Western Europe).

        We'll see, but one thing is for sure, nobody except the board should be cheering this day.

        Whoever thought we'd be missing CSC...

      2. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: BTW El Reg

        The truth is they can easily fire 20-30k out of those 170k and nobody would even notice. Amounts of people doing nothing or close to nothing in ex-ES is still unbelievable to anyone who haven't seen it from inside. I know what I'm saying, I'm one of them :D

        AC from obvious reasons (WFH today, they don't pay me for playing clown)

  7. Miss Lincolnshire

    What a shallow, shambolic charade. I bet the Mackems are loving seeing all the black and white shite shirts in Cobalt.

    Today will see an atmosphere akin to the last days in the Berlin Fuhrerbunker. Hedonistic nihilism reigns. Enjoy the forced jollity today folks, redundancies start up again tomorrow.

  8. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    The positives of leaving

    "Some staff told us they were going dressed to work in all black, one said the memo “shows an astonishing lack of awareness by senior management about the state of morale in the company”.

    Another said: “There are many jokes along the lines of 'if i had a penny for every time an executive says they are excited then i would have enough for a bigger pay rise than I've had for years.'"

    I was lucky enough to get out last week and started my LHH Penna course today. I cannot help but note that HPE are investing far more in my resettlement and preparing me for a role with another company than they invested in me in the last decade when I actually worked for them.

  9. Thomas Steven 1

    Funishment

    This sounds like a day of torture for these poor souls.

    Any event at work where 'fun' is compulsory is what we used to call funishment.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Funishment

      That's why I decided to Work From Home today (plus it's Monday).

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Funishment

        I thought co-location forbids WfH

  10. caffeine addict Silver badge

    Whalesong? That's the sounds of a Norwegian Blue...

    I know we mock the whalesong rebranding efforts, but what the ever loving feck is that logo? It looks like it was designed in the 1980s by a director who failed O level art but knew that those fax thingies couldn't do colour.

    It's almost like they're using a place holder logo for a company that won't be around for long and which they hope is as unmemorable as possible so that it's slash and burn reputation doesn't pass on to the next owner. Oh, wait...

    1. Miss Lincolnshire

      Re: Whalesong? That's the sounds of a Norwegian Blue...

      "It's almost like they're using a place holder logo for a company that won't be around for long and which they hope is as unmemorable as possible so that it's slash and burn reputation doesn't pass on to the next owner."

      A cynic might say that's Lawrie and Nefkens' 5 year plan.

      A realist would know they have no plan beyond the next 3 months redundancies.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Whalesong? That's the sounds of a Norwegian Blue...

        They DO have a plan fir the next three years, laid out part in in last week's DXC Investor Day slides, but it doesn't make pretty reading for employees. More cuts, site closures and moving work to low cost countries. They recognise that the 'traditional' IT services market is shrinking so are betting the farm on selling 'Digital Offerings' - cloud, security, mobility etc to provide growth.

        If the plan succeeds DXC survives, if not it will probably be bought by one of the Indian outsourcers.

      2. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Whalesong? That's the sounds of a Norwegian Blue...

        Which is a plan - it's play 1 (and 2 and 3 and 4 and ....etc) in the playbook ..but it's a plan

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Whalesong? That's the sounds of a Norwegian Blue...

      As someone inside the company, when we saw the new logo a few weeks back the first thing that popped into my head was "Are they trying to save on colour printer ink?".

      It's going to make official printed documents look like they were printed on the cheap!

  11. CS

    More of same!

    Think back to the effort that went into the HPE Rebrand just 18 months or so ago, with that silly torch relay, how much did that cost? I hope for the sake of all the folk left this new organisation lasts a little longer, but don't hold your breath.

    Same sh1t different logo I think!

    I genuinely wish everyone left all the very best with it all.

  12. Unep Eurobats

    OK, there's some understandable cynicism here

    But if I turned up to work and someone dressed as a zebra gave me a balloon and a cupcake I have to say I wouldn't really mind too much.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: OK, there's some understandable cynicism here

      ...Bless !

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: OK, there's some understandable cynicism here

      If someone dressed as a zebra gave me a balloon and a cupcake, I would be thinking "Man, what's IS in those cupcakes"

  13. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    It was..

    .. just as badly organised and utterly meaningless as you might expect. As the management presentation of much dullness was being delivered, I wondered how long before the 'Partner Director' followed the rest of us down the road, albeit with a substantially better redundancy package than we'll get...

  14. Down not across

    employee briefing

    At 2pm, Victoria will stage another “employee briefing where we will watch a video message from Nick Wilson, Mike Lawrie (CEO), a brand video AND there’ll be a live link to the New York Stock Exchange at 2.30pm to see in the official launch of DXC”.

    That sounds like perfect opportunity to announce further reductions and watch its effect on share price.

    No, of course I wouldn't wish that on the poor souls working there, but past form and all that.

  15. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Black and White

    The new colours, black and white are the cheapest for ink and toner. First thing to go are the colour photocopiers.

    Another genius masterstroke in cost savings.

  16. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    DXC

    Double Xrossing C....... ompany

  17. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Black and white, but the boss wears blue.

    And if anyone noticed, the employees had to dress black and white, but the one ringing the bell had a nicely fit blue suit with a red tie. :P

  18. fredesmite
    FAIL

    mass layouts to follow

    "The company expects to achieve $1 billion of cost savings in its first year, with 70 percent of that coming from workforce optimization measures and finding supply chain efficiencies. "

    "optimization" ... translates to mass layoffs and huge bonus to CEO's for their mgr skills .

  19. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Don't you wear BLACK to funeral ?

    Even if is is your own .. that is

  20. Neglected Breadwinner

    Titanic 2 - The even bigger failure - by DXC

    Are DXC yet another disaster like CSC / Xchanging who stock pile management with an overkill of bonuses whilst leaving the backbone grafters of the operation penniless? If DXC had ANY sense, they would perform 3 urgent and essential moves, rather than blow hard earned revenue on pointless souvenirs draped in their appealing and non distinct logo:

    1. Pay a substantial and immediate bonus to consistently high achievers in all departments, to ensure the real talent is not lost to rivals, and offset from the obscene jackpot rollover inherited by smug Mike Lawrie. A cupcake or a pen isn't quite justice, and down right insulting.

    2. A cull on team managers (bean counters). These hinderance roles are a drain of resource. Not needed. Not wanted.

    3. Reinstate IT phone number. Historic technology used by staff is forever going wrong and now takes an eon to rectify. A professional technology company would have overturned the poor decision to axe phone support many moons ago.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Titanic 2 - The even bigger failure - by DXC

      We need to elect our own Trump to quash this corporate greed, this urge to globalise the world of work with extensive off-shoring. What is a society without the connecting dots of daily work life interacton? Why be a first world country with a displaced and redundant workforce, draining resources in terms of welfare when these people could be working in OUR country and paying taxes and spending money in OUR country? What is it to live in a great country and cut coupons for food while the likes of Lawrie rings his feckin $44m bell in your blackened face?

  21. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Building signage at Bracknell or lack thereof

    Former HPE employee here. Got out when I couldn't take anymore 'moving to a low cost centre' guff and got the impression that I was being pushed into the micro-margin Enterprise Services business. Just took a drive to Bracknell and passed by the office. When HP Inc and HPE split, the building logos were changed so that we were welcomed to our new companies on day one with new signage. I see that there is no signage for DXC on the Braknell building. Glad I got out. I'd say the writing is on the wall for Bracknell based staff however that's clearly not the case. It's as if they want people to leave.

    1. Miss Lincolnshire

      Re: Building signage at Bracknell or lack thereof

      Seeing as jobserve.com is advertising for contract PMs to decomm HPE ES estate and software in Bracknell I'd say your are correct.

      I'd have applied myself but theres no way DXC are clawing any of my wedge back by seeing me again within 12 months.

  22. Melanie Winiger

    Thank

    Thank goodness I left HP years ago.

  23. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Shit is this still happening!!

    So, after 8 years or so out of CSC they are still chopping the heads off staff in a bid to outsource it all and reduce the level of service all so the CEO and CFO can line their pockets to buy another house in the hamptons... gotta love it, why anyone works for them these days with their lack of anything morale boosting initiatives is beyond me... Go dressed in black, black tie, black shirt, black underpants, its a funeral after all!!!

  24. fredesmite

    Lawrie will no doubt be in exuberant mood, he could make up to $44m from the spin merger.

  25. Zuagroasta

    oh d0g

    I wonder when they will start to outsource the outosurced... hope Kuala Lumpur is retained a few more years, good friends there. Mexico City too...

POST COMMENT House rules

Not a member of The Register? Create a new account here.

  • Enter your comment

  • Add an icon

Anonymous cowards cannot choose their icon

Biting the hand that feeds IT © 1998–2019