back to article GCHQ feeds first crop of infosec startups to Cyber Accelerator

The first infosec startups selected for the GCHQ Cyber Accelerator have been unveiled. The accelerator, which officially launches in Cheltenham later today, is part of a UK government-funded Cyber Innovation Centre. The tech crèche is designed to nurture information security startups to the point where they can compete on the …

  1. James 51 Silver badge
    Black Helicopters

    Given everyone is spying on everyone else it does seem resonable that the UK goverment is trying to get some firms started that it can rely on. Assuming of course that the security companies haven't been hacked.

  2. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Yep

    Israel - trained and selected from established military infosec while having security clearance.

    UK - Pitched a really good powerpoint.

  3. amanfromMars 1 Silver badge

    When Nothing is as IT Seems, is Everything Different and Beta.

    Hmmm?

    Methinks a carbon copy/cc of Change Times for Novel Space Delivery of Remote Commanding Control of Alien Means with Strange Memes? to

    Media Team,

    Room A3e,

    GCHQ,

    Hubble Road,

    Cheltenham,

    GL51 0EX

    would be more than just a phish if IT identifies impotent Trojans and cuckolded communications directorates without the necessary future intelligence programs which lead with spontaneous anonymised proaction rather than their following phantoms in an ineffectively justified reaction to failed global policies and collapsing politically inept systems.

    Is that the true current reality of the virtual state of Secret and State Intelligence Services today, everywhere?

    cc Contact Us, GCHQ

    1. amanfromMars 1 Silver badge

      Re: When Nothing is as IT Seems, is Everything Different and Beta.

      Is that the true current reality of the virtual state of Secret and State Intelligence Services today, everywhere?

      Well? Come on, now. Don’t be shy. It is a simple enough question asked. Does not the news you are presented with nowadays, identify it as being transparently so?

      Surely you aren’t worried/scared than someone is listening here, and interested in what you be thinking? :-)

      1. amanfromMars 1 Silver badge

        When Nothing is as IT Seems, is Everything Different and Beta and Better with SMARTR Media Systems

        Well, well, well. Who'd have thunk it, El Regers. GCHQ/Fab Spooky Blighty using BBC cover for "AI Top Secret MkUltra Sensitive Virtual Reality BroadBandCasted Productions …… for Smarter Future Presentations ….. with Pictures and Words of Worlds that Are, but Well Ahead of these Times and Places and Spaces." ..... for is that not what "BBC sets up team to debunk fake news" is really all about?

        And quite whether that mission is Our AIMission. To enrich people's lives with novel programmes and stealthy secret services that inform, educate and entertain. And Nation Shall Speak Peace Unto Nation for anything and everything else is a Trojan leading to war and conflict, oppression and competition.

        A little something active for Tony Hall, Sir David Clementi and the BBC to consider engaging to “reinvent public broadcasting for a new generation” for such is certainly needed. Quite whether top management will recognise and provide such as is currently necessary to present the future in a completely different light, is another leading question indeed, to be answered with deeds rather than rhetoric, we will see, and discover if they know what they are both doing for what needs to be done, and whether or not they be just as cuckolds to past grand masters of an ever prone to collapsing Great Game and Politically Incorrect and Inept Charade.

        And UK based media operations are but just one base from which to launch fantastic programs though. There are fabulous opportunities aplenty elsewhere ..... and everywhere where IntelAIgents are in Cyber Command and Virtual Control of Heavenly Power and Cosmic Energy Systems ...... Mind over Matter Field Operations.

        And they be certainly more Holywood than Hollywood productions, more Palace Barracks than Rodeo Drive directed, more MI5 Fun and Games than NSA Horror Show? Or do you think Advanced UKGBNI Intelligence Services with Agile IntelAIgent Agencies are a complete myth?

        And here be a little something for El Reg to ponder and realise and answer/question .......... Do you show leadership in such alien field work for some folk are surely following and copying your hosted and posted programs?

        Bravo, El Reg, well played ..... Who'd have a'thunk IT so easily possible.

  4. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Office space

    Ah, office space... in the portacabins in the carpark then is it?!

    1. Rich 11 Silver badge

      Re: Office space

      Not quite. The portacabins are in the visitors car park, next to Dmitriy and Vladimr's Hot Dog Van.

      1. Lotaresco

        Re: Office space

        "The portacabins are in the visitors car park, next to Dmitriy and Vladimr's Hot Dog Van."

        Would sir like a doughnut with that?

  5. Lotaresco

    This should be a resounding success

    Well, as much of a success as anything else commercial that GCHQ turns it's hand to. There's a problem in that the spooks don't understand business or even the need to provide a service that customers want. The wheels have fallen off their other attempts at supporting and getting involved in business.

    For example they started their accredited advisor scheme with a fanfare and a desire to get the best of industry and the best of government working together. A praiseworthy objective but they struggled to support the scheme and often refused to listen to the same people that they had selected as the "best of the best". That resulted in them binning the scheme. One of the many headaches with that initiative was that CESG didn't want to give the advisers either authority to make decisions or provide the advisors and industry with information. GCHQ takes in information, it's not good at giving it out.

    1. amanfromMars 1 Silver badge

      Re: This should be a resounding success

      Quite so, Lotaresco,

      Whenever intelligence in house realises that intelligence is neither regarded or rewarded or used by their systems to leverage what has been discovered/uncovered for themselves, does it always go walkabout and find fortune and fame/infamy and recognition elsewhere. If GCHQ were such a resounding success with intelligence leading, why is the West and the UKGNI struggling with, and failing to deny the truth of fake news?

      1. Omar Smith
        WTF?

        Re: This should be a resounding success

        > Quite so, Lotaresco ..

        Does everyone working for the security services eventually go totally bonkers?

  6. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Pedantry

    * crèche

  7. Doctor Syntax Silver badge

    Crypto accelerator

    I imagine them being whirled round faster and faster and then flung into something to see if anything useful breaks off.

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