back to article Florida Man sues Verizon for $72m – for letting him commit identity theft

A Florida inmate is suing Verizon Wireless after he used one of the telco's stores to commit identity theft. James Leslie Kelly, who is serving a prison term in the US state for grand theft and criminal use of personal information, is seeking $72m in damages from the telecom giant. He claims a Verizon shop in Highlands County …

  1. Kernel Silver badge

    The time has come .......

    Citizens of the US, I'm sorry but the time has come where it just has to be said - if you want the rest of us to start taking you seriously again you're going to have to do something to stop this sort of idiocy, or at least prevent us from finding out about it and having a good laugh at your expense.

    1. cd

      Re: The time has come .......

      Don't worry, there's already a solution which is even more risible. Signing up with most telco's means signing away all tort rights and submitting to binding arbitration for all disputes. So when the telco really does FUBAR your life you can't do anything about it.

      As we all know, telcos never commit errors in security or billing, and competent customer service reps are right there to help. So there's no need for the customer to have a hammer to hold in case they don't oblige.

      Isn't that better? You did want a solution.

      1. imanidiot Silver badge

        Re: The time has come .......

        @CD

        Fortumately that is just a ruse so they can try to steamroller you and try to get around the actual claim. That sort of "agreement" in a contract doesn't hold in court if you have a case.afaik jurisprudence already exists on this matter.

    2. fidodogbreath Silver badge

      Re: The time has come .......

      if you want the rest of us to start taking you seriously again you're going to have to do something to stop this sort of idiocy

      Filing a lawsuit is not the same as winning a lawsuit...

      1. Marshalltown

        Re: The time has come .......

        Speaking as a citizen - who did not vote for DTptn - I think that we really need to explain to the courts that even LETTING such a suit be filed needs some serious thought.

        1. dan1980

          Re: The time has come .......

          @Marshalltown

          While I appreciate the sentiment, that's really what happens anyway, but just not at that stage. Either way, a judge must decide whether a given lawsuit is fit to be proceeded with and, either way, the lawsuit must be detailed and submitted before that can happen.

          That submission of a complaint for examination is what filing is. It can also be considered that filing a complaint is really just telling the courts that you have a complaint with an entity and that you are seeking compensation from them. It need never actually make it to court but the filing essentially documents the issue so that you can seek redress in the courts, should the response from the other party be unsatisfactory to you.

          In that regard, what you are describing is a prior vetting of any complaint so that a judge would have to be involved in every filing before the prospective defendant was even issued with the claim.

          There is something in that, but I can't help feeling it would involve a lot of extra judicial work in an already over-worked system, especially as claims would just get re-filed. Doing so would also require to judge to make a decision based on only half the story, which might lead to a judge refusing a complaint on the grounds that he/she thinks it is ridiculous on the surface, where a response from the prospective defendant might reveal an actionable claim.

          1. Doctor Syntax Silver badge

            Re: The time has come .......

            "There is something in that, but I can't help feeling it would involve a lot of extra judicial work in an already over-worked system, especially as claims would just get re-filed."

            The best solution would be to let the judge deal with it in court. "You taking me for some sort of idiot? That's contempt. Another 99 years consecutive with what you're doing. Next case."

            1. W4YBO

              Re: The time has come .......

              I like the "loser pays" concept that pops up from time to time. Loser of the lawsuit pays both sides costs. But, individual states would have to adopt it. Lawyers don't like it because it would reduce the number of lawsuits. And those state's legislatures are primarily populated with (and lobbied by) ???

              1. Doctor Syntax Silver badge

                Re: The time has come .......

                "Lawyers don't like it because it would reduce the number of lawsuits"

                Normally I'd have expected a lawyer to have been behind something like this. However the hand written submission suggests that no lawyer was involved, he's doing this all on his own.

                1. GBE

                  Re: The time has come .......

                  "However the hand written submission suggests that no lawyer was involved, he's doing this all on his own."

                  From what I've read, reading law books and filing motions/claims with the court system are sometimes the only "recreational" activities that prisoners in the US are allowed. I suppose the theory is that they should not be prevented from assisting in or handling their own legal defence and subsequent proceedings. The fact that somebody is using such privleges to annoy Verizon is pure entertainment. It will almost certainly be dismissed at first glance when it gets reviewed by a judge. There might even be sanctions for filing a frivolous suit or the comlaintant may have to pay respondant's costs. But, the likelyhood of getting any money out of a prisoner is exactly 0, so that's rather a moot point.

                2. Curtis

                  Re: The time has come .......

                  The fact that the suit is hand written actually explains where this came from.

                  Prisoners, often having nothing better to do, file suits all the time. It gets them out of their cells, even if only to go to court. And it increases the cost of the judicial system so that they get to "stick it to the man"

                  The sheer number of these suits floods the system. Unfortunately, every single one has to at least be heard because sometimes there's a diamond in the dross. Just search for "nutriloaf" <shudder>

              2. David Nash Silver badge

                Re: The time has come .......

                Of course the loser should pay both sides' costs. How is it fair to have to pay your costs if a court finds that you had a case, and you therefore won it?

          2. David 18

            Re: The time has come .......

            @dan1980

            Presumably, a lawyer has usually offered advice before the filing and suggested the case has legs. Perhaps if they operated a "three strikes and you're disbarred" policy for filing ridiculous, frivolous and time-wasting cases like this then the burden would be shifted from the courts to the lawyers.

          3. Kiwi Silver badge
            Holmes

            Re: The time has come .......

            In that regard, what you are describing is a prior vetting of any complaint so that a judge would have to be involved in every filing before the prospective defendant was even issued with the claim.

            There's another way it can work. Had the judge told that woman "You should know that if you spill hot coffee on yourself you'll get burnt you stupid bitch!" , or at the very least "Well, you had hospital treatment costing $10,000 so I'm awarding you $10,000 and not one cent more", and such for many other cases, then you wouldn't have crap like this going on. Under the "law of Moses" as some call it (OT Biblical stuff), if you were responsible for someone being injured you were responsible for their medical costs until they were well, nothing more nothing less.

            The rest of the world has people trying to sue other people/companies every day. We don't have people expecting to get stupidly rich from it. Nor do we have people who commit crimes expecting to be able to sue victims of the crime, even if the victims negligently left a knife under their skylight or used the wrong sort of glass so poor little criminal cut himself when trying to break into someone's home1. Change the expectations of the payouts to more reasonable levels, you'll change the problem overnight. Stop letting people sue others for their own mistakes.

            1 I don't know how much of this stuff is true, but I'm quite certain some stupid cases like this have been brought, and won, with silly payouts given.

            1. Mark 85 Silver badge

              Re: The time has come .......

              I don't know how much of this stuff is true, but I'm quite certain some stupid cases like this have been brought, and won, with silly payouts given.

              More than a few it seems. One can't put a deadfall on a window that's been used repeatedly for breakins. Homeowners/businesses have been sued because the burglar climbed in through a skylight and the beam/lightfixture/whatever broke and he fell and was hurt. It makes for sad and sometimes mind-boggling reading about some these lawsuits.

              Seems to me there was website that carried these some years ago, but I don't know if it's still around.

      2. katgod

        Re: The time has come .......

        Stupid human tricks that fail, unless of course Trump sends out a tweet to help him.

        Mostly a funny headline for media with unlimited amount of data to be published.

        I still like you though.

      3. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: The time has come .......

        Exactly. Anyone can file a lawsuit.

        It's only stupid if it doesn't get thrown out.

      4. BillG
        Meh

        Re: The time has come .......

        Filing a lawsuit is not the same as winning a lawsuit...

        Reminds me of something my lawyer once said to me: "Can you sue? Yes, you can always sue. But can you win?".

    3. Captain DaFt

      Re: The time has come .......

      "Citizens of the US, I'm sorry but the time has come where it just has to be said - if you want the rest of us to start taking you seriously again you're going to have to do something to stop this sort of idiocy"

      Sorry, we're helpless to stop this.

      We've tried to reign in Florida's idiocy, but time and time again, any attempt to inject common sense into the state is stymied as it, somehow, always disappears at the border.

      "or at least prevent us from finding out about it and having a good laugh at your expense."

      We're laughing at Florida's antics just as hard as the rest of the world.

      (Except maybe California, they have their own crazy going on.)

    4. Mark 85 Silver badge
      Devil

      @Kernel -- Re: The time has come .......

      Nope. We're not going to do it. To do so would deprive us, you, and everyone else some humor (humour) value and that is something we all need right now... Besides, our idiots are obviously better at being idiots than your idiots. Do try to do better...

      1. Blank Reg

        Re: @Kernel -- The time has come .......

        So the whole election was about ensuring that the new idiot in chief would maximize mocking opportunities?

        I don't think it's worth it.

    5. d3vy Silver badge

      Re: The time has come .......

      "you're going to have to do something to stop this sort of idiocy, or at least prevent us from finding out about it and having a good laugh at your expense."

      My understanding is that under the Trump administration this kind of thing just will not happen, we will all be too busy scrambling around the decaying ruins of supermarkets trying to find food to care much about whats being processed by the courts.

    6. Bob Vistakin
      Facepalm

      Re: The time has come .......

      Yeah - President PussyGrabber has the credibility needed to stop all this.

    7. Stevie Silver badge

      Re: Citizens of the US,

      Citizens of the UK, if you want anyone in the US to take notice of your comments on legal matters in America, you *have* to get a grip on the difference between a State and a Federal law/lawsuit.

      It's not hard.

      1. Andrew Moore

        Re: Citizens of the US,

        "It's not hard."

        Have you tried Viagra? I have received a few emails that might be of interest to you...

      2. Doctor Syntax Silver badge

        Re: Citizens of the US,

        " you *have* to get a grip on the difference between a State and a Federal law/lawsuit."

        Has your new president-elect got a grip on that? I'm not disputing his grip on other things.

    8. VanguardG

      Re: The time has come .......

      Everyone has a right to file...but that neither means a day in court nor winning. Note that the court itself is already moving to dump the case even before it goes to trial, before the defendant can even *ask* that it be quashed. In most areas, any lawsuit that's file *must* be accepted, regardless of who its from or what its about - the clerks of the courts (who often have no legal training since their job is just to arrange and file the paperwork, contact respondents when necessary, and write up summonses and subpoenas for the judge to sign) are not empowered to determine if a case has merit. A judge (magistrate, in a few places) is required to read it and determine its merits. And that happened here.

      In Scotland, a policewoman wanted 1 and a half 5 million pounds claiming "post traumatic stress" after being hit by pineapple during a riot in Glasgow, and as a result, she was emotionally scarred for life. She got 3 thousand.

      So she actually got a day in court, and got three thousand for being hit by a piece of fruit. This guy didn't even get a day out of jail to attend his lawsuit hearing.

      1. I ain't Spartacus Gold badge
        Trollface

        Re: The time has come .......

        So she actually got a day in court, and got three thousand for being hit by a piece of fruit.

        Ah, but you have to understand this is Scotland. The poor lass wasn't traumatised by fighting, or having something heavy and sharp thrown at her. This was in Glasgow for heaven's sake.

        No the trauma was caused because an innocent Scotswoman was forced to come into contact with fruit! Worse, it hadn't even been deep fried! There might even have been... vitamins!

    9. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: The time has come .......

      The judicial system in America is broken. It allows criminals and scammers to reap fortunes via paid liars and outrageous "pity motivated financial awards" for grossly unreasonable and irresponsible personal behavior.

      As an example a woman in the U.S. became an "instant millionaire" by splashing McDonald's coffee on her crotch because she placed the coffee between her legs in a moving vehicle. Instead of the court tossing the irrational suit, the siren chasers including the judge all banded together to establish a new precedent where a company is brutally fleeced out of millions of dollars to reward dangerous and unacceptable personal behavior.

      The paid liars were able to convince a clueless, sympathetic jury that the coffee was too hot and therefore McD's was responsible for the woman's injuries. The correct verdict should have been that the woman was negligent for NOT properly stowing the hot coffee while traveling in a moving vehicle. The corrupt paid liars and judges all reap windfall profits from these criminal violations of the judicial system.

      It's a national disgrace based on fraud and financial greed that rewards criminal behavior just like this $72 million lawsuit is intended to achieve.

      As the saying goes: "A 1,000 lawyers at the bottom of the sea - is a good start".

      1. imanidiot Silver badge

        Re: The time has come .......

        @AC:

        Yeah, about that "macdonalds millionaire"... Not exactly as you describe. The women WASN'T in a moving vehicle. She was sitting in the passenger seat of a parked vehicle driven by her son in law. She has readilly admits the SPILL was her fault. Wat WASN'T her fault was that the coffee was served BLISTERINGLY hot. A fact MD had been warned about (and succesfully sued about) before. As a result of this she suffered 3rd! degree burns to her genitals and lower legs, needing several months in hospital and several skin graft surgeries to fix. The awards she eventually got wasn't millions. And what she actually wanted was just compensation for a PART of the medical costs. In fact, SHE had offered to settle even before the whole thing went to court for a few tens of thousands of dollars (US healthcare is expensive). The jury eventually ruled against MD for 2.7 million dollars (the income from 2 days coffee sales for MD) and eventually the case was settled for $600k

        Or just watch this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q9DXSCpcz9E (interesting bit starts at roughly 1 minute in)

        Not to say that frivolous lawsuits don't happen, but they are not nearly as big a problem as some people make them out to be. Essentially it is just another trick by big corporations trying to make it more difficult for consumers to fight them.

        1. Kiwi Silver badge
          Trollface

          Re: The time has come .......

          Wat WASN'T her fault was that the coffee was served BLISTERINGLY hot

          Which anyone who isn't severely mentally handicapped would know from the very first time they tried to make coffee.

          Turn jug on. Prepare other ingredients to desire. When jug boils, pour boiling contents into cup.

          Coffeemakers also boil their water.

          McD's should've appealed. She and the judge&jury who awarded her should've been sold into slavery to repay the costs involved for McD's.

          Actually that could help improve the jury system, where a lot of people base their decisions not on the evidence but "he looks like a criminal" (and after being stuck in prison for a couple of years awaiting trial...) - if you fuck up on jury service and send an innocent person to jail, you're sold into slavery to repay your debt to them (or made their personal slave to do with as they wish - all 12 of you!)

      2. kain preacher Silver badge

        Re: The time has come .......

        she did not get millions. At first she only asked for medical but was ignored, They were serving coffee way above industry norms. Oh and the car was not moving. She suffered 3rd degree burns.

    10. Def Silver badge

      Re: The time has come .......

      ...you're going to have to do something...

      But they are doing something: They're ignoring climate change. Give it 30 years, and Florida will be nothing more than a distant memory. ;)

  2. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Dear America,

    Please pass a law that makes litigators liable to litigation for stupid litigation's or better yet have a court system that reject stupidity.

    Thanks,

    The rest of the world.

    P.S. Until you do we will just laugh at the sheer stupidity of these things. If I was in America right now I would be worried a burglar (not the ham one from McDonalds) would be able to sue me for leaving my window open.

    1. kain preacher Silver badge

      When you sue for that amount you can as for a prelem hear to determine if the case can go forward.

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      You mean "worried a burglar (not the ham one from McDonalds) would be able to sue me for leaving my window open and harming him or her while they committed the robbery."? I will remind you that they can only sue you if; 1) you bothered to call the police thereby triggering an investigation of this incident, and 2) the burglar is able to tell his/her tale.

      So, repeat after me; do NOT call the police, and make sure and get "rid" of any evidence; like cell phones other other tell-tale items, the body, etc while cleaning up. You're the only connection. These idiots are not leaving breadcrumbs to signal their next of kin where they might last be seen.

      Also, people. This was in Florida. The state most dripping with idiots in all of stupid america! Garbage in, garbage out.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Joke

        I thought Washington DC (I know it is not a state) had the biggest idiots - or at least it will on January 20th.

      2. Terje
        Joke

        I would like to take this opportunity to point you all to my quicklime and carpet delivery service, we deliver 24/7.

  3. Keef

    Nice to see...

    You all poking fun at the septics.

    It's easy to do because the legal systems everywhere outside The Land Of The Free are perfect so us lucky aliens can all relax.

    PS

    Nobody laughs at the UK because we have allowed an unelected Prime Minister Theresa May to completely fuck us over.

    1. imanidiot Silver badge

      Re: Nice to see...

      Nobody laughs at the UK because we have allowed an unelected Prime Minister Theresa May to completely fuck us over.

      Oh do fuck off... nothing has happened yet and the biggest damage to the brit economy is from doommongers like you saying how everything is shit when strictly speaking NOTHING has happened yet.

      And most of all this article has nothing to with ANYTHING relating to your whining.

      1. Malcolm Weir Silver badge

        Optional

        Errr... well, nothing apart from that whole pesky value-of-a-quid thing: 4 Jan 2016, £1 = $1.474. 4 Jan 2017 £1 = $1.227. So a barrel of north sea oil will cost you £45.84 as compared to £38.16 had the pound not collapsed in, remarkably, June.

        Mind you, only an idiot would assume that the full impact of something that hasn't yet happened has been fully absorbed....

        1. Prst. V.Jeltz Silver badge

          Re: Optional

          "So a barrel of north sea oil will cost you £45.84 as compared to £38.16 had the pound not collapsed in"

          seems odd. Who owns the barrel?

          1. d3vy Silver badge

            Re: Optional

            ""So a barrel of north sea oil will cost you £45.84 as compared to £38.16 had the pound not collapsed in"

            seems odd. Who owns the barrel?""

            Exxon, BP, Shell... its quite a long list really. One of the things that the debate on Scottish independence failed to take into account was that while the oil might be in Scottish waters the bulk of the profits go to the companies that do the drilling, only a % goes back to the country that 'owns' the oil, so the argument that we have £xxx gazillions worth of oil fell flat on its arse when you point out that the rights to that oil were signed away to some big oil company 20+ years ago.

            Anyway, the article has nothing to do with Scottish independance, Brexit or who voted for what... lets get back on topic.

      2. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Nice to see...

        Oh do fuck off... nothing has happened yet and the biggest damage to the brit economy is from doommongers like you saying how everything is shit when strictly speaking NOTHING has happened yet.

        You're evidently the sort who will comfortably sit down next to a grenade with a missing pin "because nothing has happened yet". The most experienced negotiator (read: a man who really, REALLY knows what he's talking about because he's been doing it successfully for all his life) just resigned because he was unable to bullshit about how positive it all was and what wonderful results he expected to achieve after triggering Art 50 - that tells me more about what is to come than all the carefully worded press leaks and press releases the UK government offers.

        Tick, tock, tick, tock..

        1. Doctor Syntax Silver badge

          Re: Nice to see...

          "that tells me more about what is to come than all the carefully worded press leaks and press releases the UK government offers."

          I also found IDS's reaction informative. Clearly he was a minister who only wanted his staff to tell him what he wanted to hear, not what he needed to know. It explains his spending years presiding over the ongoing disaster of Universal Credit.

        2. Ivan Headache

          Re: Nice to see...

          At least when you sit next to a grenade with a misisng pin you know what is going to happen.

          With Brexit we don't know what is going to happen (apart from the doomsayers).

          1. Doctor Syntax Silver badge

            Re: Nice to see...

            "With Brexit we don't know what is going to happen (apart from the doomsayers)."

            Don't be silly. The leavers know exactly what's going to happen. Magic unicorns will romp across the country sprinkling magic dust. When the dust hit's* the ground it will germinate into money-bearing flowers and we'll all be rich and free and have an empire again and it will be like Suez never happened. And then they'll wake up.

            *Leaver's apostrophe.

      3. Dan 55 Silver badge

        Re: Nice to see...

        So far everything appears to be propped up with QE and consumer credit (in the news yesterday) while the government seems to be thrashing round looking for a plan (also in the news yesterday). This is six months later. Doesn't inspire too much confidence.

        1. AndrueC Silver badge
          Facepalm

          Re: Nice to see...

          This is six months later. Doesn't inspire too much confidence.

          But, to be strictly fair, nothing any government has done has inspired me with confidence. Domestic or foreign.

      4. Tom 38 Silver badge

        Re: Nice to see...

        Oh do fuck off... nothing has happened yet and the biggest damage to the brit economy is from doommongers like you saying how everything is shit when strictly speaking NOTHING has happened yet.

        As you say, we've actually *done* nothing so far, but that hasn't stopped things happening. Food inflation is through the roof compared to the previous 7 years, and we haven't even actually even committed to leaving yet.

        The best analogy I heard is that the brexit vote was like jumping off a tall building - people are saying "This isn't so bad", but we haven't yet hit the ground.

      5. Andrew Moore

        Re: Nice to see...

        "nothing has happened yet"

        errr, sterling has tanked. And that's even before Article 50 has been signed...

    2. agatum
      Coat

      Re: Nice to see...

      Nobody laughs at the UK because we have allowed an unelected Prime Minister Theresa May to completely fuck us over.

      Now see, that's where you are wrong. I do laugh at you because of that. But then again, I am nobody, so your original statement is actually true. Sorry to have wasted your time, leaving now with a never-to-be-used-again hiking map of pre-brexit UK in the pocket.

    3. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Nice to see...

      "Nobody laughs at the UK because we have allowed an unelected Prime Minister Theresa May to completely fuck us over."

      Care to explain when the last time voters could specifically elect a Prime Minister?

      In the UK, we vote for a party to lead the country. What they then do in terms of having a leader during their term in office is up to them. For this term, the people elected a Conservative government who, at the time, were lead by David Cameron, and are now lead by Theresa May. However you chose to interpret it, it was a vote for a Tory government, not a Cameron government. People may have assumed they were voting for the latter, but the winning party has no obligation to field a specific PM for their term.

      1. Doctor Syntax Silver badge

        Re: Nice to see...

        "People may have assumed they were voting for the latter, but the winning party has no obligation to field a specific PM for their term."

        My way of putting it has always been that even if you could vote directly, whoever you voted for, you always got a politician. Now that idea's been trumped.

      2. Glenturret Single Malt

        Re: Nice to see...

        Except

        1. Usually the leaders of each party are settled before a general election so it could be argued that voters are actually voting for a prime minister despite the fact that their cross is beside the name of someeone else. Much of the election publicity produced by parties before an election is based on this idea.

        2. The past tense of lead (pronounced leed) is led. Lead (pronounced led) is a heavy metal, symbol Pb, atomic number 82).

    4. David Neil

      Re: Nice to see...

      We don't elect Prime Minister's, we elect political parties who chose who they want as their leader

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Nice to see...

        We don't elect Prime Minister's, we are given the illusion we elect political parties who chose who they want as their leader

        Fixed it for you.

        1. noboard

          Re: Nice to see...

          Actually we vote for a single person to represent our area, but people forget that and vote for people who will stop the party the really hate getting in, rather than for someone with similar values as them. They then bitch about how crap our system is because whoever they wanted to win didn't and forget that they didn't actually vote for them in the first place.

          *golf clap*

        2. d3vy Silver badge

          Re: Nice to see...

          "We don't elect Prime Minister's, we are given the illusion we elect political parties who chose who they want as their leader"

          Tinfoil hat table 1.

    5. d3vy Silver badge

      Re: Nice to see...

      "Nobody laughs at the UK because we have allowed an unelected Prime Minister Theresa May to completely fuck us over."

      Well.... In the UK we dont vote for the PM, we vote for the party, the party leader is selected by a vote within the party (A party that you CAN join if you so wish) so to say that she is not elected is only true in as much as David Cameron was also not elected.

      PS. FTFY :

      "Nobody laughs at the UK because like an over told joke, its just not funny any more"

      1. tiggity Silver badge

        Re: Nice to see...

        And we did not vote for article 50 either...

        EU referendum was advisory, not binding. Despite what the poiliticos said.

        Any sane govt would have set a referendum like this (i.e. where result could have huge consequences) as binding but also not just 50% of the votes cast, but two thirds or similar "indisputable" clear majority ()plus factoring in the different "countries" of the UK, as pro / anti overall vote was different across different parts.

        As it was, we had worst possible scenario, a near 50/50 result on a non binding referendum, and almost half the people who participated in the vote feeling shafted, as result treated as a binding vote, whereas a non fag paper, "obvious" majority result would have left the losers far less irate as it would at least have been an indisputably large loss and implied a significant degree of support for the winning result.

        You would think they might have learned from the Scottish referendum, which could have had major changes to UK had the result been different and again was a straight majority decision (albeit actually binding & a vague bit of planning had been given to what would happen with a Scotland out result).

        EU referendum, whatever the result, was guaranteed to cause resentment in a lot of people if result was close.

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: Nice to see...

          I don't do politics but it seems illogical that the Scottish referendum was held before the EU one.

          Maybe I should say 'suspicious' instead of 'illogical' - I mean the government doesn't come up with these ideas one day and hold a referendum the next day so there must have been at least a year or two when the work leading up to the two referendums was happening concurrently. Yet we were not given a real vote for real freedom for Scotland.

          The government probably knew we would vote for independence if they knew there was a chance they would be dragging us out of the EU with them so they deliberately did our one first. Yet all along, in both referendums, they tell us it is our voice.

          It's all nothing but carefully planned trickery and deceit and that's why I don't do politics.

          1. d3vy Silver badge

            Re: Nice to see...

            "Maybe I should say 'suspicious' instead of 'illogical' - I mean the government doesn't come up with these ideas one day and hold a referendum the next day so there must have been at least a year or two when the work leading up to the two referendums was happening concurrently. Yet we were not given a real vote for real freedom for Scotland."

            Quite, Being scottish but living in England I was sided with the Better together crowd - Had I known then that we were leaving the EU I would have had a harder decision to make - not that I got a vote anyway.

            Interestingly - I know a lot of my family voted for independence and listening to their reasoning reminds me alot of the brexiters.

            I am still of the opinion that we should not be voting for these things, public referendums like these are ridiculous - the subject is just too complex for me to decide on. I am reminded of a George Carlin quote : "Think of how stupid the average person is... half of the population are stupider than that" (Im paraphrasing but that was the jist).

    6. David 18

      Re: Nice to see...

      @Keef

      Since when have we ever voted for a Prime Minister? We vote for local MPs to (theoretically) represent our interests in Parliament.

      There is plenty wrong with our system but I am rather glad it's not a Presidential system.

    7. David Nash Silver badge

      Re: Nice to see...

      Unelected PM? I am no fan of TM but she's hardly the first one of those. There have been loads over the years.

    8. Kiwi Silver badge
      Pint

      Re: Nice to see...

      Nobody laughs at the UK because we have allowed an unelected Prime Minister Theresa May to completely fuck us over.

      Yeah we do.

      (Acutually, given what NZ has had to deal with in the few years, we share you pain. Want a drink to forget your miseries for a while?)

  4. David 132 Silver badge
    Facepalm

    Florida Man, the world's oddest superhero

    For those who haven't seen it, this is a goldmine of comedy and general W-T-F-ness:

    Florida Man on Reddit

    1. kain preacher Silver badge

      Re: Florida Man, the world's oddest superhero

      how the Do you get tazed for not having a fishing license

      http://www.palmbeachpost.com/news/crime--law/pahokee-man-caught-illegally-fishing-tased-times-fwc-officer/Tuwem22PM5ZvKd1nPDiRkM/

      My god I should of stopped reading.

      Florida man attacks ‘spiritual’ girlfriend’s car over dead granny sex toy dream prophecy

      1. hplasm Silver badge
        Headmaster

        Re: Florida Man, the world's oddest superhero

        "My god I should of stopped..." using 'should of...'

        1. JLV Silver badge

          Re: Florida Man, the world's oddest superhero

          Hey, give him a break. Beholding the vast wasteland of human stupidity that is Florida Man* surely can cause a momentary lapse of grammatical reasoning. Bit like seeing a Shoggoth up close.

          * I read the dead granny sex toy thread too and my IQ dropped by about 25.

  5. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    As silly as this man seems

    As a con, at least he didn't (can't) vote for Trump!

    Now THAT is species-ending stupidity.

  6. JJKing Silver badge
    Facepalm

    Not only in America

    You mean "worried a burglar (not the ham one from McDonalds) would be able to sue me for leaving my window open and harming him or her while they committed the robbery."?

    Many years ago in New Zealand, a burglar successfully sued for Accident Compensation when he was injured whilst burglarising someone's house.

    Sometime later, another thieving bastard sued the home owner of the house he was stealing their property from because he tripped over a chair IN the house and injured himself.

    I am embarrassed this happened in my country because when stupid shit like that happens, the most common reply is, "Only in America".

    1. Neil Barnes Silver badge

      Re: Not only in America

      I recall a case where a previous employer was successfully sued under the H&S at work rules, by a burglar who fell down a hole in a construction area. And another where a person, caught in the act climbing out of a sixth floor window after a series of thefts, sued on grounds of racial discrimination. I don't recall whether he one that one, though.

    2. Voland's right hand Silver badge

      Re: Not only in America

      This has happened in the UK too.

      There was a successful lawsuit by someone who broke his back and hip trying to burgle a garage where the owner (quite deliberately) left the covers on the "service" canal a bit off to the side forming a nice 5m by 1m trapdoor.

      In fact, the precedent base at present is - if there is the smallest suspicion that you have done it deliberately setting up "burglar punishment facilities", then you are at fault.

      1. MonkeyCee Silver badge

        Re: Not only in America

        "In fact, the precedent base at present is - if there is the smallest suspicion that you have done it deliberately setting up "burglar punishment facilities", then you are at fault."

        IANAL but my understanding is that the crime being committed (by the homeowner) is something like "setting man traps". In NZ at least it's still used, dating from people setting traps for poachers. This is generally a bad idea, since while scrotes are scum, you can't go around killing and maiming them. As much as that sounds nice, vigilante justice, especially blind (no check on who falls in the pit or triggers trap) is strongly discouraged.

        Only know this since some charming vegan save-the-planet types poisoned the milk at a previous workplace, and that was what they got charged with, as no-one was actually harmed.

    3. Kiwi Silver badge
      WTF?

      Re: Not only in America

      Many years ago in New Zealand, a burglar successfully sued for Accident Compensation when he was injured whilst burglarising someone's house.

      I don't recall hearing of this one, and aside from a couple of breaches of privacy (very significant ones IIRC), I don't recall hearing of anyone "suing" ACC either. Do you have a link or any more details?

      Sometime later, another thieving bastard sued the home owner of the house he was stealing their property from because he tripped over a chair IN the house and injured himself.

      Was that here as well? I also don't recall hearing of that one. Not nice if it was.

  7. MalcolmL

    Are we all trying to forget our own British idiocy? For starters I offer the claim by a Police Officer, who when answering a 999 call to a petrol station, tripped on a kerb on the premises. The compensation claim claimed that the owner of the petrol station failed to keep her safe as she investigated the possible break-in. Read all about it here http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2301650/Call-police--sue-WPC-demands-50-000-petrol-station-owner-tripping-kerb-investigating-break-in.html

    1. AIBailey Silver badge
      Facepalm

      You're posting a link to the .... DAILY MAIL?

      And I thought that links to malware ridden sites somewhere in deepest darkest Russia were bad.enough!!!

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        You're posting a link to the .... DAILY MAIL?

        And I thought that links to malware ridden sites somewhere in deepest darkest Russia were bad.enough!!!

        .. but I repeat myself..

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      That claim was retracted before it got anywhere. I think her employers essentially told her to stop being so fucking stupid.

  8. adam payne Silver badge

    "According to WFTV, Kelly entered the store on May 7, 2015 and accessed the account of another man named "James Kelly" to obtain $300 worth of "products and services." Kelly, who has a criminal history dating back to 1985, was later arrested and charged.

    Now, Kelly is filing a suit of his own in the Central Florida District court, claiming that Verizon violated his civil rights by allowing him to commit the crimes"

    This man when into the store to commit a crime and now claims they violated his civil rights by allowing him to do it. Seriously!

    Sorry James Kelly but you committed the crime and you should now deal with the consequences of your actions.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Sorry James Kelly ...

      Maybe he should team up with the other James Kelly (who had his identity stolen), and who may well have a more substantial case for damages from Verizon; the convicted JK could help provide the necessary evidence .... :-)

  9. Alistair Silver badge
    Joke

    good grief Donald Trump.

    (Okay, that's clickbait in the title)

    TV station name needs to be corrected from WFTV to WTFV.

    Wait. 37 convictions under his belt. What was that three strikes thing everyone was ranting about?

    Right, Florida. Too much orange juice and sunshine on the beach, or way too many Cuba Libre I suppose. I know, he can claim Vitamin D overdose and get a doctor to back it up and get a discharge on one of his 37 convictions! Hell, maybe he's diabetic! <HDR ref>

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: good grief Donald Trump.

      Implementation of three strikes varies from state to state. It's generally for serious and violent offenses and the classification of those varies between states.

  10. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    If this gets through Mercedes will be hearing from me regarding my speeding & parking fines.

    1. Valerion

      Never mind that, I'm suing the person that I ran over for leaving a dent in my car!

      1. Esme

        Never mind that, I'm suing you lot for mental cruelty (crimes against spelling and grammar (I am one of the defendants, mind - I'm completely unbiased)), as well as an injury claim for straining a muscle once from laughing so hard. How dare you all egregriously entertain me when I'm trying to read a serious news site?!.

        8-}

      2. Lotaresco

        "I'm suing the person that I ran over for leaving a dent in my car!"

        I wouldn't laugh. A few years ago a motorbike rider chose to ignore a "STOP" sign and drive across a dual carriageway at a junction. They hit the passenger door of my car and knocked themselves out (but fortunately lived). The police investigated and determined it was the biker's fault for ignoring the sign. Later the rider sued me for the damage to his bike.

  11. Stevie Silver badge

    Bah!

    In Florida no-one can hear you think.

  12. earl grey Silver badge
    Flame

    37 priors? - time to pull the plug on this one

    DOINK! done....

    NEXT!

    1. Lotaresco
      Coat

      Re: 37 priors? - time to pull the plug on this one

      Wouldn't it be better to plug his chair in?

  13. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Wrong litigant

    This guy is a prat - end of. Throw out the case with prejudice and hold him responsible for Verizon's legal costs (not that they'd actually get paid, mind).

    However, if the other James Kelly (i.e. the actual victim of the identity theft) were to use the details from this filing to raise his own suit against Verizon for negligence, that one's got legs.

  14. Lotaresco

    I wonder how impressed the Judge is...

    That Kelly gets his name wrong?

    Also Kelly seems to suffer from the problem of the poorly educated that "herein" is assumed to be some sort of talisman that makes a document more legal if you use it and use it often.

    This is reminding me of the case of Bunt vs Tilley and others. Bunt sued Tilley and the others for libel and damages relating to all sort of things including IIRC impotence. He tried to sue each of their ISPs also claiming that their libels were the responsibility of the ISPs. Bunt had asked for advice before embarking on this self-litigation but chose to ignore it. The advice was that Tilley et al had libelled him but this did not make the ISPs culpable. Also Tilley et al were as poor as church mice so not worth pursuing in court. The end result was a spectacular shot foot as the Judge ruled that the ISPs had no part in the libel and made Bunt pay their costs. That bankrupted Bunt.

    At least this proved that the UK does have people of equal stupidity to litigants in the USA.

  15. kain preacher Silver badge

    Jack Thompson

    JackThompson

    Even in the US we get tired of these ass holes. This guy kept on suing video game makers/publishers and losing that the judge finally yanked hi law license and said all future law suits must be signed off by another lawyer will ti risk his license

    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jack_Thompson_(activist)

  16. Herby

    Loser pays...

    Enough said.

  17. Alan Penzotti
    Joke

    One way to end the lawsuit (with a summary judgement to the nuts.)

    If I were the judge, I would award in favor of the plaintiff, and reduce the award to $1.44, paid in 12 installments to his commissary account.

    That way he can't appeal the verdict since he "won."

  18. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    So how did this unfold?

    Are we believing that he walked into the store with the intention of being the other JK, or perhaps when the store looked up JK on the computer and offered him the victim on a plate that he said yes that's me... If so I can see how the store did not correctly identify the customer in this case, and how their data breach presented the victim to the ne'er-do-well.. I think there is a case to answer here. For both parties.

  19. David Roberts

    Back in the day (allegedly)

    I was told that the major weakness of the USA legal system was that the litigant set the amount of damages, and the court/jury only decided if their case was true. Hence the ludicrous amounts paid out and the willingness to sue about anything; mathematically far better than a lottery ticket.

    I assume that this has been at least partially remedied.

    Loser pays may discourage frivolous law suits but it also can favour those with massive (effectively unlimited) funds such as insurance companies who can keep stringing out a case and loading up the costs until the financial risk of losing the case (and being bankrupt) forces the abandonment of valid claims.

    I suspect that (much as with IT lack of security) this is all considered just a cost of doing business and damages are effectively paid by customers/general public.

    If he had claimed $7k (or even $70k) he may well have been paid off as the cheapest option.

    For an example you only have to look at the recent surge in whiplash claims after car accidents in the UK. Paid out so easily it became an industry which they are now trying to stop.

  20. JulieM Silver badge

    Better idea

    Loser Pays is a good start. Even better would be a requirement for no money to be allowed to change hands until all avenues of appeal are exhausted.

    That way, you can't drag out a case you know you will lose, until the other side runs out of money.

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