back to article Aussie trams equivalent to 30 skateboarding rhinos

Ever wondered what the equivalent weight of a tram was in skateboarding rhinoceri? The answer is apparently 30, as any Aussie will tell you. rhino warning pic. Pic via media centre at Yarra Trams Pic via media centre at Yarra Trams The Beware The Rhino campaign (pictured) was created by Melbourne tram company to prevent …

  1. pdebarra

    I find neither the rhino nor the Pogba on your list. Am I alone in this? I have even cleared my cache, just in case...

    1. GrumpenKraut Silver badge
      Meh

      Same here. I want my rhino!!!11!eleventillion!1!!!

    2. tony.dunlop

      The missing conversions have been added this morning , enjoy :)

    3. Stoneshop Silver badge
      Coat

      I have even cleared my cache, just in case...

      For the Pogba, you need to clear your cash

  2. Killer Squid

    Standard Units

    Enquiring minds need to know whether this is the White rhino, Black rhino, Greater one-horned rhino, Sumatran rhino, or Javan rhino??

    1. Locky

      Re: Standard Units

      You missed out Leeds Rhino

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Standard Units

        And Rhino from Gladiators.

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: Standard Units

          Spearmint Rhino?

    2. Richard 81

      Re: Standard Units

      ...and whether it was carrying a coconut.

    3. Mage Silver badge
      Pint

      Re: Standard Units

      What sort of skate board?

      I used two bargain basement priced skateboards my kids had abandoned to move an AGA style solid fuel stove/oven/water heater. On my own, though I had a lever. It had taken SIX large Hurley players (similar size monster to a Munster Rugby player, but more dangerous) to put it where I was moving it from, so yes I can imagine a Rhino using two skate boards or one modified model.

    4. MrDamage

      Re: Standard Units

      Don't forget about Rhino Neil.

      /coat

    5. harmjschoonhoven

      Re: Standard Units

      And is she pregnant?

  3. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    We've been here before…

    … as the late great Lester Haines would have told you if he was still around to do so.

    So, how many rhinos does a tram weigh?

    That grey thing that allegedly "needs plug-ins to view" can be viewed here, sans plug-ins.

    1. Adam 1

      Re: We've been here before…

      and as you pointed out then; "trams are designed for carrying passengers, and do not usually have the specialist equipment that would be required to weigh a rhino."

      Why do people insist on trying to weigh rhinos using trams? Shirley there are more convenient, cheaper, easier to operate machines out there? Not to mention that both operating a tram and the handling of aggressive mammals weighting well over a ton each require substantial training and experience to do safely. Simply put, this is cost cutting gone mad.

  4. Spanners Silver badge
    Boffin

    Natural Unit

    Why no Smoots?

  5. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    If your trams weight over 50 tons then you are possibly, shall we say, over-egging the pudding somewhat at the design stage? What happened to efficiency and mass reduction? I have seen lots of new trams where it looked like the last thing they were interested in was providing any actual space for *passengers* to sit in them, rather the priority is make them look like the Space Shuttle, and people end up simply standing in the bendy corridors between the carriages, holding on for dear life. So, often more like low-flying Wurlitzers rather than transport. Of course, nice LCD screens with cartoons on, and unbelievably inflated ticket prices. Yay, whoopee.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Even the heaviest suburban train we have here weights 25 metric tons apiece.

      I mean, full-size trains, used for metro and suburban service, that can be pushed around by locomotives, with backup pneumatic lines for braking, with their own compressors to power their own automatic doors, if need be. Those are full-blown rail stock, way above tram scale. I know, because I work for one such rail company. Some over-egged puddins for sure!

      And these lads can plow through 18-wheeler lorries like these were tin cans, because they have done so before. Combined weight 200 tons, 8 cars each composition, EMPTY.

      Perhaps he is referring the whole combined tram weight, about six cars, by any chance? 8 metric tons, or a bit over 8000 kg per car, total 50 metric tons, is more on the tram scale of things...

      1. Stoneshop Silver badge
        Boffin

        Re: Even the heaviest suburban train we have here weights 25 metric tons apiece.

        Perhaps he is referring the whole combined tram weight, about six cars, by any chance? 8 metric tons, or a bit over 8000 kg per car, total 50 metric tons, is more on the tram scale of things...

        As the problem, from the POV (or rather, lack of view) of an average traffic participant, is the energy present in the moving vehicles involved, the total mass is what matters, hence the 50 tons.

        But there are two additional factors: I expect that a tram can and does reach higher velocities than a skateboarding rhino, and as kinetic energy goes up with the square of the speed, a tram at twice the speed of a skateboarding rhino already has four times the energy, so you'd then be up to 120 rhinos. Plus, getting those rhinos to form one near-rigid tram-like entity will be a problem in itself, never mind that rhinos* are somewhat more squishy than trams anyway.

        * and other mammals except the wombat, once described to me as a bad-tempered moving furry tree trunk.

  6. TeeCee Gold badge
    WTF?

    Makes me wonder what it is that the citizens of Melbourne look at on their phones that makes it even possible to overlook 30 rhinos on skateboards coming their way.

    1. Toltec

      "Makes me wonder what it is that the citizens of Melbourne look at on their phones that makes it even possible to overlook 30 rhinos on skateboards coming their way."

      El Reg of course...

    2. Mark 85 Silver badge

      Porn and/or naked selfies of others.

    3. Adam 1

      The weather radar. They may be walking around in board shorts but need to know when it's time to put the snow gear on.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        During my last visit to Melbourne, I counted 3 seasons in quick rotation: Autumn, Winter, Spring, then quickly back to Autumn.

        I am quite convinced they have not yet invented Summer.

        1. Francis Boyle Silver badge

          That was saved for me

          40 degrees in St Kilda and I think it was only September.

          1. Anonymous Coward
            Anonymous Coward

            Re: That was saved for me

            40 degrees in St Kilda…

            Fahrenheit doesn't count!

  7. jms222

    In Olympic-sized swimming pools in Wales in Belgium surely.

  8. DJV Silver badge
    Mushroom

    "120 cycling Boris Johnsons"

    Shudder - one's more than enough!

    1. Mage Silver badge

      Re: "120 cycling Boris Johnsons"

      How many Trumps is that?

      1. Alister Silver badge

        Re: "120 cycling Boris Johnsons"

        How many Trumps is that?

        Depends whether Boris had Beans for Breakfast...

  9. BebopWeBop Silver badge
    Thumb Up

    Aussies

    Pushing the boundaries of metrological science

  10. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Fractions

    As a more accurate subdivision of the full rhino can we have Sky Brown's?

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-9emg4cpM6A

  11. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Do elephants & rhinos interbreed?

    Ellifino...

    1. Sanctimonious Prick
      Happy

      Re: Do elephants & rhinos interbreed?

      Rhinphant?

      :D

  12. Mark Simon

    As for the tram drivers …

    I travel on Melbourne trams regularly. By and large the drivers have the same attitude to safety and passenger comfort as a herd of 30 stampeding rhinos, so that works well.

  13. allthecoolshortnamesweretaken

    Melbourne trams

    Film tip: Malcolm.

    Trailer

  14. You aint sin me, roit

    Why the skateboard?

    As the warning is for people, distracted by fumes emanating from their smart phones, to avoid being mowed down by trams, isn't the "Rhino on a skateboard" actually a unit of momentum?

  15. russsh

    Z, A and B class

    Many of those trams were built when "supporting the steel industry" was a design goal. I was once in a taxi hit by one, the taxi was undriveable, tram only stopped out of courtesy then continued on its way.

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