back to article What’s that Sooty? You want a girlfriend?

The BBC Director-General was forced to intervene in a row over providing children’s puppet Sooty with a lady friend. A documentary on the creator of the Sooty Show Harry Corbett - nephew of fish and chip entrepreneur Harry Ramsden - revealed his suggestion of a female friend for his creation led to a massive row within the …

  1. Bloakey1

    I had always assumed that Soo was his bitch {1.} and that Sweep was trying to muscle in on the action.

    I also thought that Florence in Magic Roundabout was a seriously sexy looking woman so perhaps my suspect opinions should be treated with the opprobrium they deserve.

    1. i do not know the term for a female Panda.

    1. lukewarmdog

      1. i do not know the term for a female Panda.

      Fanda!

      no.. me neither.

      1. Sir Barry

        Male = Boar

        Female = Sow

        Baby = Cub

    2. Blofeld's Cat
      Coat

      A female panda if called a "sow" while a male is a "boar".

      [slaps face] How the hell do I know this? Damned pub quiz questions distracting me when I should be concentrating on my drinking.

      It's the anorak

    3. Stevie Silver badge

      I had always assumed ... that Sweep was trying to muscle in on the action. (4 Bloaky1)

      I dunno how the obvious candidate for Sooty's unconventional sexual tastes could have been missed by so many so-called 'smart" people.

      Why would a bulldog go by the obvious soup-briquette "Butch"?

      Clearly the assumption that the bulldog was male was, in fact, false. The rest just falls into place once this obvious fact is assumed.

      Sooty preferred assertive - if not openly aggressive - dominant, doggish bitches with poor dentition and faces like the back end of a skip transporter.

      1. Alister Silver badge

        Re: I had always assumed ... that Sweep was trying to muscle in on the action. (4 Bloaky1)

        soup-briquette

        Like it!

        Oxo cube, anyone?

    4. RAMChYLD
      Facepalm

      Indeed. I always thought Soo was Sooty's GF.

      She isn't?

    5. Andrew Moore

      Of course, we don't even want to go into the connotations behind "Ramsbottom"...

  2. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    on the grounds that sex would be creeping into the programme

    They've got their fist stuck up a puppets arse and they're worried about Sooty having a girlfriend?

    1. Kubla Cant Silver badge

      Re: on the grounds that sex would be creeping into the programme

      I don't recall any objections to Bill and Ben's ménage à trois with Little Weed, nor Andy Pandy's relationship with the sultry temptress Looby-Loo.

      1. Erroneous Howard

        Re: on the grounds that sex would be creeping into the programme

        Not puppets, but what exactly was going on between Rod, Jane and Freddy?

        1. Dan 55 Silver badge

          Re: on the grounds that sex would be creeping into the programme

          They went everywhere together, even on holiday...

        2. Dr. G. Freeman

          Re: on the grounds that sex would be creeping into the programme

          According to Wikipedia

          " In June 2008 Rod, Jane and Freddy appeared on the show 50 Ways To Leave Your TV Lover on Sky and talked about newspaper claims that they were involved in a love triangle. They revealed that Rod and Jane had in fact been married and divorced, Jane partnering up with Freddy some time after he had joined the trio, a relationship that lead to their eventual marriage in May 2016."

        3. Rabbit80

          Re: on the grounds that sex would be creeping into the programme

          Not sure, but they enjoyed playing with each others twangers, balls and maraccas..

          https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CgbcQIT7BMc

      2. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: on the grounds that sex would be creeping into the programme

        "[...] nor Andy Pandy's relationship with the sultry temptress Looby-Loo."

        Not to mention them both going to bed in the hamper with Teddy.

  3. Jay 2

    Soo is such a prim busybody, I'm sure Sooty wouldn't be getting any bare bear action. Never really liked her, Sooty was a bit meh and Sweep is the best!

  4. Little Mouse

    I'd recommend Geoff Tibbal's "The Secret Life Of Sooty" for anyone wanting the behind the scenes lowdown on our favourite furry friends.

    If you can find a copy anyway. It's a few years old now.

  5. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Yet back in the 1950s BBC Children's TV had several menage a trois. There was Bill and Ben with Little Weed living in the same flower bed. Andy Pandy, Looby Loo, and Teddy went to sleep in the same small hamper basket at the end of the show - and discreetly closed the lid.

    1. Blofeld's Cat
      Childcatcher

      "and I think the little house knew something about it! Don't you?"

      Ah those sweet, innocent days when "Muffin the Mule" was not a euphemism ...

  6. Teiwaz Silver badge
    Coat

    Whut?

    But, but, I had a crush on Soo, when I was a 'we nipper'....

    We all need to get our first crush where we can...And no, I didn't grow up to be a 'furry'....surprisingly.

    Sooty Show Blind date episode https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vO10CNQAsHw

    1. VinceH Silver badge

      Re: Whut?

      That episode was a little bit questionable, wasn't it?

      The first thing I thought was: "Pandas monthly, huh? Is she 'reading' it in the same way people 'read' Playboy etc for the articles?"

      Then Matthew commented to Sooty "You have to wonder what it was that she was reading exactly that she didn't want you to see ... possibly a guilty secret there."

      Then a little later, she read out an advert from a blatant paedophile: "Are you under six years old and less than thirty centimetres tall?" =:o

      The other three puppets were trying to spy on her in the bathroom - under the claim that they just wanted to know what she was reading. Yeah, right.

      I dare not watch any further!

      1. Teiwaz Silver badge
        Happy

        Re: Whut?

        "Pandas Monthly"

        - Womens Weekly?

        "Are you under six years old and less than thirty centimetres tall?"

        - No way Soo is under six, she's been claiming that since at least the early eighties...

        I dare not watch any further!

        You'd have missed a rather good Cilla Black impersonator... and the best bit IMO the dodgy blind date contestants, Butch the dadgy Landaner and the northern snake - and Sweeps totally inappropriate answers that put him out of the running immediately.

        - And the main point of the episode where at the end Soo admits there's probably nobody else for her than Sooty.

        Classic telly, that for a kids programme, I was surprised to find I enjoyed.

  7. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Lets not start on about Captain Pugwash!!!

    Oh, ok, Master Bates and Seaman Staines.

    Any more?

    I used to watch that and never ever twigged for years after!! (and neither did the BBC apparently, or did they?)

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Lets not start on about Captain Pugwash!!!

      http://www.snopes.com/radiotv/tv/pugwash.asp

      But you can probably guess the answer from the link

      1. JimC

        Re: Lets not start on about Captain Pugwash!!!

        Says a lot about how conspiracy theories spread I think: that so many of us said "cheeky s***, how did they get away with that" and not "That's funny, I don't recall a Master Bates or a Seaman Staines"

        1. The Indomitable Gall

          Re: Lets not start on about Captain Pugwash!!!

          I'm disappointed that the "alternative" crew of the Black Pig hasn't grown over time. Why no Cox Stroker, For example? There must be more! The myth must grow!!

          1. Tony S

            Re: Lets not start on about Captain Pugwash!!!

            How about Roger the Cabin Boy?

            1. Chris Jasper

              Re: Lets not start on about Captain Pugwash!!!

              Nope, he was called Tom

              1. Tony S

                Re: Lets not start on about Captain Pugwash!!!

                "Nope, he was called Tom"

                I think that you're missing the purpose of the comments as well as the joke!

                Should be working, but instead thinking of other potential names; such as:

                The head of the Marine Contingent, Major Hardwick (or the more obvious, Major Hardon).

                Gunner Blige and his lovely daughter, Sheila (there's a naval joke there as well!)

                Fat Willy, the cook.

                And of course, the Ship's Cat, "Nine-Tails"!

                1. Boris the Cockroach Silver badge

                  Re: Lets not start on about Captain Pugwash!!!

                  You lot need to get out more

  8. Dr Patrick J R Harkin

    Never might Sooty & Sue, what about...

    Hector & Madam Zsa Zsa?

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