back to article Google finds its G Suite spot: Renames apps, talks up AI and BigQuery

The invitation for Google's latest cloud sales pitch, dubbed "Horizon" because the company has already had its way with "Atmosphere", on Thursday directed attendees to The Mint. As San Franciscans know, and Google Search advises to those in the area, The Mint is a karaoke bar, not far from the San Francisco Mint, which began …

  1. m0rt

    "When you compare our products to our competitors' products, apples to apples, they're just plain better," she said. "And we're closing the gap incredibly fast."

    So yours are better, but you are closing the gap? Wuh?

    Anyway, got the email this morning, very early, I had a dream about wasps for some reason. I was left with the vague impression Google was opening a lingerie chain...

    1. m0rt

      Actually, this isn't the only branding exercise that, I have come across today, that makes me facepalm.

      Rackspace now has 'Cloud Mentors' .

      FFS. What is wrong with Mother Globe Citizens today?

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      It's unfortunate, but she has simply lost her mind. Nice lady otherwise. She'll be gone from there soon. Personal reasons of course. Possibly to spend more time with the family.

  2. Jeroen Braamhaar
    Black Helicopters

    The key quote of the article

    The goal here, said Prabhakar Raghavan, VP of engineering for Google Apps, is "to get away from the notion that content is owned by individuals."

    All your content are belong to us (oh and any intelligence agencies that come knocking)

    Snort.

    1. Doctor Syntax Silver badge

      Re: The key quote of the article

      No, the key quote of the article is "The Mint is a karaoke bar, not far from the San Francisco Mint, which began churning out legal tender in 1937."

      I never knew there were karaoke bars in 1937 let alone that they were able to churn out money.

  3. Jim 48

    Google For Domains

    The interesting thing for me, is how this G Spot will affect those who signed up when it was Google for Domains and use it for family accounts. We still can't sign up for Family Subscription/Sharing on Google Music, although Google Trips & Google Spaces has just started working.

  4. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    what suits better Google is

    Gof*ckyouselves

  5. Paul Crawford Silver badge
    Coat

    G Suite

    G Suite - the G string for professionals!

    Thanks, mine is the mankini in the corner =>

  6. Dan 55 Silver badge
    Trollface

    Business runs better when your apps all begin with a 'G'

    Didn't help Gnome, maybe they should have gone with K instead.

  7. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Stupid Name

    Almost as stupid as "Alphabet". "G-Suite", really? How long before the juvenile delinquents who inhabit exec row in major corporations start calling it "G-Spot". Right. Good work, morons.

  8. Version 1.0 Silver badge

    Tulipomania

    Google seems to "reinvent" itself and its products every year - essentially there's no continuity and zero guarantee that whatever this iteration turns out to be will exist in two years time. At some point, industry is going to realize that Google technology is all smoke and mirrors aligned to fleece the punters - and they are doing it very well, but in the long term it can't last.

    1. jamesb2147

      Re: Tulipomania

      I wouldn't call it Tulipomania. It's not really the same concept.

      You are hitting on the point I wanted to make, though, that the rebranding is needless. When your company begins to think that its biggest hurdle to adoption is branding, you have a problem, and it isn't branding.

      Hell, between this and the Pixel rebranding of the Nexus phone line (which, allegedly, may not even be a complete rebranding when it's unveiled next week!), my trust in Google has DROPPED precipitously. This is a bad sign from corporate. Something is wrong in the executive ranks for this to have slipped through (much like G+ a few years ago). Pushing out bad products is one thing (hello, Wave!) but pushing out a rebranding exercise and claiming that is going to solve all your issues is just ludicrous.

      I think I'll spend next weekend migrating my email out of Google Apps -- err, sorry, the G Spot now.

  9. Freesuite

    Tech seems to follow ten year cycles: always a Golden Age of about three years, followed by an Ice Age of seven or so years. Innovation followed by incremental change. This version is a little different, but not light years ahead of the last. Now it's time for hype and marketing. That's all that's left. I think we have at best another 3 years until the pink cloud turns into a boring grey cloud. I have always thought that marketing was meant to shame people and make them feel inadequate, and getting a product makes the shame go away. It works with credit cards: they have blue cards, silver cards, Gold cards, and Black ones now. As soon as you see a black card, the gold one is a little embarrassing.

    I am from the States, and I worked with one of the first Goggle partners. You can down Google, but it's not their fault we are headed into an Ice Age. I am in South American selling (well as of Monday G-Suite). We have a big problem with the Mid Markets customers clinging to the the free version of Google Apps. Hey Google, you should have called me!!!!! I had a good marketing idea. If we can't strong-arm the Mid market customers into buying the business grade Apps, maybe we could take a lesson from the credit card companies and shame them into a purchase............

    What if we called the home version "Free Suite" and the Enterprise version G-Suite...that might work. I get the marketing jokes and slights, but aim them at another offender. Ia m sure Google isn't that bad when you take a look at Happy Meals and new and improved Cheerios. I'm in sales and I need this stuff until the Ice Age ends.....I've got to eat!!!!

  10. Freesuite

    Free Suite and G Suite

    The new version of Google Apps is a little different. Of course it can't make the same splash as Cloud Computing did many years ago when the intelligence was pushed out of the telecom companies and slowly imploded into the "cloud". I am leading a sales team that sells this stuff. I am worried about what lies three years ahead. I keep thinking of the boardroom scene from Tron: Legacy. The scene where the evil company Encom announces the release of it's new OS 12. One of the honest board members speaks up and says, "what's the difference between version 11 and version 12 for the end users?" The CEO looks at him like he is a fool and says, "we put a 12 on the box!"

    Those days aren't too far out.

  11. yowlingcat

    I have tried, I really have tried ...

    I use Google Mail in my business - it's actually really good, don't really miss Outlook that much and the convenience of using Android Gamil or a browser on the go is incalculable.

    BUT - the big problem for me is Google Docs. I don't know much about AI, but I just want a word processor to do some basic things - like showing non-printing characters, having a way to format numbered paragraphs and sub-paragraphs easily. I don't want tables breaking over pages. When I actually tried to use Docs, it was a disaster - there isn't a great deal it needs to be basically workable, but there are just some things which stop me adopting it as a daily tool. It's a toy in comparison with Word, or even LibreOffice.

    Such a shame - the idea of collaboration is really well executed, but you have to collaborate on something usable.

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