back to article Great British Great Bake Off gets new judge

Long weekends cooped up in a cramped sweaty workplace, grappling with unstable materials, your work critiqued by an harsh and judgemental boss. No - not your job hacking PHP or flogging some piece of dead tin in the data centre but the life of the average contestant on the Great British Bake Off. Most of your colleagues …

  1. Natalie Gritpants

    From a week or so ago

    "Could you hold my jugs"

    "Let's all eat the carpet"

    1. Dan 55 Silver badge
      Thumb Up

      Re: From a week or so ago

      I'm sure they go straight over the heads of their most loyal viewers, Middle England, and will continue to do so until the Daily Mail catches on and dedicates several pages to the horrific filth that Mel and Sue peddle to the nation's children.

      1. Yugguy

        Re: From a week or so ago

        No you patronising tosser, we all got it.

      2. Ledswinger Silver badge

        Re: From a week or so ago

        to do so until the Daily Mail catches on

        If Godwin's still around he needs a new law, to cover the fact that any comment thread on the Reg will deteriorate really, really quickly until some moron irrelevantly invokes the Daily Mail as the fount of all evil.

        1. Khaptain Silver badge

          Re: From a week or so ago

          If Godwin's still around he needs a new law, to cover the fact that any comment thread on any "internet forum" Reg will deteriorate really, really quickly until some moron irrelevantly invokes the Daily Mail as the fount of all evil.

          TFTFY

          1. Dan 55 Silver badge

            Re: From a week or so ago

            As nobody can relevantly invoke the Daily Mail as the fount of anything good, we are left with everybody irrelevantly invoking it as the fount of all evil. This shouldn't be enough to annoy anyone, it's just logic.

            Just thought I'd toss that out there patronisingly.

            1. Ledswinger Silver badge

              Re: From a week or so ago

              Just thought I'd toss that out there patronisingly.

              I shall consider myself patronised.

              But to make things right, I lay claim to my new Law of Comment Forums, and declare with immediate effect that the concept that any British comment thread degenerates until the Daily Mail is invoked shall henceforth and evermore be known as Ledswinger's Law.

            2. Anonymous Coward
              Anonymous Coward

              Re: From a week or so ago

              ORLY? How about this: the Daily Mail campaigned for justice for Stephen Lawrence, taking on the Met police in the process. Not all bad.

              https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Daily_Mail#Stephen_Lawrence

              Just sayin'.

  2. Version 1.0 Silver badge
    IT Angle

    WTF?

    IT angle? Really?

    Come on El Reg - WTF has this to do with anything? I can't even get a sniff of IT out of the story (sic).

    It seems these days that the comments sections are often so much more interesting than the stories. I guess I'll have to wait for the comments to fill out and come back later.

    1. wolfetone Silver badge

      Re: WTF?

      You telling me you don't eat a pastry while on your computer?

      If you deny this then we want to see the state of your computer keyboard. And I wouldn't be doing a Hillary Clinton if I were you.

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: WTF?

      The article appears under the rubric of "Bootnotes" - everyday diversions not necessarily directly involving IT. Its a leavening of the minutiae of tin shifting.

      1. frank ly Silver badge
        Thumb Up

        @AC Re: WTF?

        Upvoted for use of the word 'minutiae' and the subtle baking references.

    3. MJI Silver badge

      Re: WTF?

      Funny really but my wife watches it avidly and I tend to follow it while doing other things.

      It is well made and well presented, and many people eat bread and cakes.

      Oh and it has now been partly lost from TV

      BBC1 has a watchable HD channel

      C4 does not as it has some graffiti I can't shift.

      1. jake Silver badge

        @MJI (was: Re: WTF?)

        Can't shift graffiti with C4? WTF? indeed.

        1. MJI Silver badge

          Re: @MJI (was: WTF?)

          Graffiti is on C4HD, C4 is watchable.

      2. billium

        graffiti

        It doesn't have a red triangle does it?

        1. MJI Silver badge

          Re: graffiti

          No it has a logo stuck on the screen

    4. allthecoolshortnamesweretaken Silver badge

      Re: WTF?

      Sure.

      Nothing like good cake and plenty of coffee or tea to make sure the guy from the IT department stays long enough to finish the job properly and wait until I've tested that it works.

      1. macjules Silver badge

        Re: WTF?

        Obviously not a GDS project manager then :). They tend to test after the dev have left the building and then bring in another contractor to fix the bugs. After all, its only the taxpayer who pays for it.

    5. JudeKay (Written by Reg staff)

      Re: WTF?

      Pleased to have gotten a rise out of you, Version 1.0.

    6. jake Silver badge

      Re: WTF?

      Version 1.0 wondered: "IT angle?"

      Ballmer, Gates, Ellison & Page were all mentioned in TFA. Works for me :-)

      (Yes, I know, "Bootnotes" covers all sins.)

    7. Version 1.0 Silver badge

      Re: WTF?

      LOL - 24 down votes? I'm laughing all the way to the cookie jar! OK, I love the show but I'm still trying to wrap my head around this in El Reg but I still maintain that the comments are better than the story.

  3. Bob Vistakin
    Facepalm

    The BBC is skint?

    It's been hand-ringing with this irrelevant shite all week, and finally the bleeding obvious dawns on it.

    Fun fact - the 450 presenters, engineers, bag carriers, emotional support therapists etc the BBC sent to cover the Brazil Olympics, all with first class flights/accommodation, cost more than the UK government spent funding sports in its entirety in the 4 years since the last Olympics.

    Who's money is it again?

    1. Credas Silver badge

      Re: The BBC is skint?

      All flights first class? Really? Any source for that that's not the Daily Fail?

      Personally I'm delighted that it's one of the few major sporting events that's still available FTA in this country, rather than being sucked into the paywalled extortion machine that's Sky Sports like all the rest.

      1. Don Dumb

        Re: The BBC is skint?

        @Credas - It is simple Dacre bollocks, I'm betting only the 'talent' got first class, the rest of the BBC workers wouldn't, most of the athletes didn't even get First Class on their return (they *were* all on the same plane). Considering how much the country enjoys and watches the Olympics, I think the coverage was money well spent (perhaps not Inverdale)

        "Personally I'm delighted that it's one of the few major sporting events that's still available FTA in this country"

        And that's because it has a government protected status. Only a few sporting events have 'Category A' protected status but those that do *must* be shown live on FTA channels.

        I believe the current list is:

        FIFA World Cup finals (all matches); UEFA European Football Championship finals (all matches); FA Cup Final (both men's and women's); Scottish Cup Final (applies to Scotland only); Grand National; Epsom Derby; Rugby league Challenge Cup final; Rugby union World Cup final; Wimbledon Championships men's and women's finals & wheelchair finals (not the whole tournament); Olympic & Paralympic Games (both summer and winter) - really not that many.

        Everything else is free to take BT or Murdoch's dime, although there is a 'B' list where there must be highlights or delayed coverage on FTA television. It's interesting that some sports deliberately chose to argue for themselves to be removed from the list so that they could take Murdoch money and have become far less a part of public consciousness as a result (Test Cricket).

        1. You aint sin me, roit

          Re: The BBC is skint?

          It's also noticeable that interest in the UEFA Champions League has plunged since UEFA took BT's money and it went pay to view.

          Curiously UEFA are concerned about this, and have told BT that they expect them to do more to popularize the Champions League. It's almost as if they didn't realize that making people pay for a product that they used to get for free would be a bad idea...

        2. MJI Silver badge

          Re: The BBC is skint?

          I would have added F1

          Also I thought 6 Nations was on there.

          Pay TV is the best way of long term killing a sport.

          1. Don Dumb

            Re: The BBC is skint?

            @MJI - Formula 1 is shared between Sky and terrestrial and apparently has no protection - here the list of sporting events covered by category A and B listing - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ofcom_Code_on_Sports_and_Other_Listed_and_Designated_Events

            What this shows is that even though F1 is a terribly run sport they are reluctant to go completely off free to air so understand that there is benefit in many people seeing their races.

            The Six Nations is in a weird position, it has no protection - the group that run it do know the value of it, they keep it to February/March partly because few other sports are prominent. The Unions also know that as a smaller sport trying to grow, putting it on Sky would kill the sport as an annual event. It's also a case that the England games are far more valuable than the Welsh and Scottish (not a judgement of quality, just the advertising revenue), so the other Unions would be reluctant to have their position weakened by the negotiations for England games, currently they can dictate much more to the BBC and ITV as equals with the English Union than if they all sold out to Sky - each weekend would all revolve around the England game (moreso than now). So the 6 Nations going to Sky might not be in the interests of most of the 6 Nations and would undermine the Unions' attempts to grow the sport. So they've half sold out to ITV and the BBC.

            Naturally Wales is keen on the government to put protected status on the 6 Nations, as without it, they might end up with only the World Cup as a chance to watch their national sport live, and only every 4 years. There have been suggestions that the protected List is very much protecting middle class cares at the expense of what the working class and the provinces care about (notice that there are 2 horse races protected on a short list)

            Everyone has seen what has happened to Cricket (Tests were massive in 2005, went to Sky and much less notable afterwards) and few are foolhardly enough to follow the same path.

            1. MJI Silver badge

              Re: The BBC is skint?

              Don Dumb

              I know F1 is not on that list but it should have been as it WAS one of the most watched casual audience sports on TV. And as a mainly British sport important to the country.

              6 Nations, I actually watch it, glad to see the RFU are sensible.

          2. zb

            Re: The BBC is skint?

            It is probably a bit drastic to move to Brazii just to get good sports TV. I can get the golf majors, Tour de France, F1, Wimbledon, most important rugby internationals, loads of European soccer including live UK Premiership matches and loads more. Over half have commentaries in English too. Pity I don't get most Brazilian footie :)

      2. jaywin

        Re: The BBC is skint?

        > Personally I'm delighted that it's one of the few major sporting events that's still available FTA in this country, rather than being sucked into the paywalled extortion machine that's Sky Sports like all the rest.

        Would now be a bad time to tell you the Olympics are going to Eurosport?

        There's still some argument about exactly how much has to be made available FTA under the current rules in the UK, with around 200 hours being suggested. This is after the IOC bypassed all the national broadcasters and sold the European rights en-masse to Eurosport without even giving the likes of the BBC a chance to bid on them.

        1. MJI Silver badge

          Re: The BBC is skint?

          Jaywin

          That is pretty shitty to everyone concerned and a channel scan shows no Eurosport on my satellite box, will try TV again some time, but I spent ages renumbering all of the channels to their old locations.

          I have various reasons to not go Sky, OK too many to list but stiffling satellite technology is one of them. Not forgetting that walnut head is an arse.

      3. TVU Silver badge

        Re: The BBC is skint?

        "Personally I'm delighted that it's one of the few major sporting events that's still available FTA in this country, rather than being sucked into the paywalled extortion machine that's Sky Sports like all the rest".

        Every time a sport goes behind a Sky or BT paywall, the same thing happens: the viewing figures plummet. That is a successful way of killing off public interest in a sport.

        Where I live, kids no longer play cricket in the summer; it's only football or tennis. That is because they are no longer exposed to cricket on free to air television.

        Recently, Formula One Management did a £££ greed and avarice deal with Sky so that from 2019 onwards, only the British Grand Prix will be shown live and in full. The outcome is inevitable; public interest in Formula One racing will wane and no one will care about that sport any more despite the UK being the home of Formula One.

        1. MJI Silver badge

          Re: The BBC is skint?

          TVU

          I was a huge fan of motorsport, I loved the Mansell era, the WRC McCrae and Burns era, the BTTC when it was all sorts such as Sierra Cosworth & M3s.

          Haven't watched an F1 race since BBC stopped doing all live, and guess what?

          I DO NOT MISS IT.

          I now have a few more hours at the wekend to do things, a bit of DIY, a bit of modelling, go out somewhere, car maintenance.

    2. jaywin

      Re: The BBC is skint?

      > Fun fact - the 450 presenters, engineers, bag carriers, emotional support therapists etc the BBC sent to cover the Brazil Olympics, all with first class flights/accommodation, cost more than the UK government spent funding sports in its entirety in the 4 years since the last Olympics.

      Top tip - If you're going to make stuff up, try and make it at least slightly believable.

      1. Chris Evans

        Re: The BBC is skint?

        Whilst I agree that not all of them probably went first class, I do wonder how much UK government spends funding sports. Remember most of the money 'UK Sport' receives comes from the National Lottery

        A bit of research suggests that in 2015 less than £7M came from the government. I doubt the BBC have spent £28M on the RIO Olympics but it might not be far off, given how adept the BBC are at squandering money.

        1. Credas Silver badge

          Re: The BBC is skint?

          Given how much the IOC demand for the TV rights, £28m to actually screen them would be a drop in the ocean.

    3. paulf Silver badge

      Re: The BBC is skint?

      The current GBBO deal is reported to be £7.5m/year. For the new deal Auntie were reportedly prepared to pay £15m but Love productions* wouldn't entertain anything below £25m.

      Now a doubling of the cost is one thing but demanding 3x the current deal is quite a hike. Yes the show is successful and Love own the format/rights but they didn't seem to recognise the BBC nurtured the show from nothing to its current popularity.

      If you'd gone to a commissioning editor at ITV or Sky 8 years ago and pitched a reality show making cakes you'd have been laughed out the room, just as you would have been if you'd pitched a prime-time celebrity ballroom dancing show in 2001...

      *I'm just going to chuck in here that apparently Love is 70% a Murdoch tentacle...

    4. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: The BBC is skint?

      Quite frankly, a quick (g)oogle on liveleak under the heading "brazil/brasil" will reveal an utter shithole of a city where life isnt worth a cup of coffee.

      Considering the hell hole that awaited the athletes flying them first class, each with their own private lear jet, eagle feather pillows and beluga caviar topped with diamonds woulnd't have been enough of an incentive IMHO.

    5. Dr_N Silver badge

      Re: The BBC is skint?

      "Fun fact - the 450 presenters, engineers, bag carriers, emotional support therapists etc the BBC sent to cover the Brazil Olympics, all with first class flights/accommodation, cost more than the UK government spent funding sports in its entirety in the 4 years since the last Olympics."

      That's funny because earlier in the year the Daily Wail was reporting that BBC presenters, engineers, bag carriers, emotional support therapists etc had refused to go to Brazil over the Zika situation.

      Just more bollocks from from the anti-BBC print-media moguls and their lapdog "editors" I guess.

    6. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: The BBC is skint?

      "Fun fact - the 450 presenters, engineers, bag carriers, emotional support therapists etc the BBC sent to cover the Brazil Olympics, all with first class flights/accommodation"

      Is that the old-fashioned sort of fact, that's researched and verified, or the modern post-truth-politics sort of fact that you just make up to fit your prejudices?

  4. This post has been deleted by its author

  5. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Channel 4 get to watch Mr Kipling 'Bake off', in celeb shocker.

    We should give contestants all ovens with a Microsoft Progress bar as the only timer, could be an IT angle to make techies remotely interested in the shittest of shit TV.

    I assume most people here leave this on for their Dog while they (make sure) they are out while this is on. To comfort the Dog? no one seriously watches 1950's harp back TV? Do they? Figures suggest different, but I ain't one of them, my Dog is.

    I've never understood the appeal of watching TV of someone else cooking, you can't exactly smell or taste the food. If it interests you, get in the kitchen, experiment and actually cook for someone.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Channel 4 get to watch Mr Kipling 'Bake off', in celeb shocker.

      "[...] you can't exactly smell or taste the food."

      That depends on your imagination. MRI scans have found that remembering something often triggers activity in the same areas of the brain as does the real world experience. You can have Proustian moments in reverse. We describe the sight of some foods as literally "mouth watering".

      Nowadays when I am tempted to buy a rich cake - I stand at the display and slowly savour the remembered texture and taste. If it is in the supermarket - that memory often includes the disappointment that the cakes did not live up to expectations. Works wonders for my low sugar/carbohydrate diet regime - while also helping to satisfy any craving.

    2. phuzz Silver badge
      Trollface

      Re: Channel 4 get to watch Mr Kipling 'Bake off', in celeb shocker.

      So you don't like $very_popular_thing AC? Wow, you are so flipping cool. Can I be your friend?

      1. Patrician

        Re: Channel 4 get to watch Mr Kipling 'Bake off', in celeb shocker.

        I have to go with AC, I don't like it either; and I do enjoy cooking, although not baking I have to admit.

      2. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Channel 4 get to watch Mr Kipling 'Bake off', in celeb shocker.

        "Can I be your friend?"

        What so we can talk (talk, not cook - been the operative word) endless drivel about Bake off and snear at its contestants, analysing their behaviour, through the eyes of a so called 'better superior celeb person" - a cake / pastry expert?

        (While the reality in 2016, the largest ever percentage of the UK's population get their food from Food Banks)

        I'll pass if its all the same.

        BBC hype this shit like is some miracle of quality TV programming, its a weak format at best (and that's if you like it)

        I think we've forgotten the BBC made classics like "Our Friends in the North", "When the boat comes in", that took real skill and thought (even courage) to produce, this diluted Bake Off format (into multiple spin-offs) has been hyped up so much, we are meant to get upset when the BBC loses Bake Off, FFS.

        Quality programming? Talk about been fed slops, accepting it as real food.

    3. Don Dumb
      Thumb Down

      Re: Channel 4 get to watch Mr Kipling 'Bake off', in celeb shocker.

      @AC - "I've never understood the appeal of watching TV of someone else cooking, you can't exactly smell or taste the food."

      I can't eat the foods I really want to very often but seeing people who are good at making them and make them in creative ways, does give me enjoyment. Sort of food porn I guess.

      I must admit I don't like most cookery programmes but GBBO seems to have the right mix of entertainment (including the time pressure and cooking difficulty) and some really tasty looking food. A lot of the skill seems to be the creative/engineering aspect.

      "If it interests you, get in the kitchen, experiment and actually cook for someone."

      And guess what, the SO watches GBBO, gets some ideas and goes and tries to make them. Some people seem to think GBBO's just making Victoria sponge every week but it does introduce things we've never heard of and we have made them since.

      It's hardly the greatest show on earth, but it's an enjoyable hour's television.

  6. Anonymous South African Coward Silver badge

    Clarkson will be able to get a shedload of food processors, and use each one, detailing the issues he experienced with each unit, and which unit's got better traction on a slippery tabletop, which's got good gear... err, utensil changes, which's got good view on the action and so on...

    1. Little Mouse

      More likely he'll slap four wheels on one and attempt to drive it to Brighton, where he, Foggy & Clegg will be unable to stop it going over the end of the pier.

      Much hilarity will ensue.

    2. Alister Silver badge

      I want to hear Clarkson shouting "FLOUR" as he turns a food processor up to max revs...

    3. Colin Millar

      Food processor with a V8 engine!!!

      I'd watch that.

      1. The Sod Particle

        Re: Food processor with a V8 engine!!!

        it's been done already

        https://youtu.be/vDlMLqdvHzI

        copy and (flour) paste for your pleasure

  7. Wiltshire

    How about Julian Clarey and Graham Norton?

    Julian Clarey (in)famously bought "Just A Minute" to a grinding halt with his remark about navy cutbacks:

    "There'll be a lot of seamen discharged in Portsmouth tonight"

    Perfect ingredients for a tasty round innuendo.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Remember when Julian Clarey was only allowed on late night Channel 4 programmes? When the channel took its "innovation" remit very seriously - and ratings were not the be all and end all.

      The British public have gradually acknowledged that double entendres are an integral part of the culture. They were once the preserve of a trip to the seaside or the music hall. Before that were used by the creative arts and theatre to by-pass the royal censor. The "Carry On" films or "Up Pompeii" were cultural icons of the 1960/70s.

      A friend's son was a young teenager with a homophobic attitude common at the time. Over dinner one day one of his favourite TV programmes came into the discussion. I'll never forget the moment his jaw dropped - followed by him questioning with "Julian Clarey is gay??".

      1. Graham Hawkins

        >The British public have gradually acknowledged that double entendres are an integral part of the culture. They were once the preserve of a trip to the seaside or the music hall.

        Never listened to "I'm Sorry I Haven't a Clue" then? Purveyor of juicy double-entendre to the middle classes since the early 70's.

        1. EddieD

          Round the Horne and I'm Sorry I'll read that again, again predate Clue by nearly a decade, and Round the Horne commited some entendres that would have Clary rolling his eyes, particularly Julian and Sandy.

          Double entendres and camp, saucy humour have been part of the British psyche for decades - the seaside post card tradition - heck, even Shakespeare got in on the act "I talk of country matters"

          1. Anonymous Coward
            Anonymous Coward

            Thank you for the I'm sorry, I'll read that again reference as I hadn't known of that one.

            There's lots of it on Youtube, so I guess that'll keep me amused in between the weekly BBC4 News Quiz episodes where Miles Jupp seems to be even more encouraging of innuendo than Sandi Toksvig* was :).

            * Actually a contemporary and attendant of the same Cambridge Footlights as the likes of Stephen Fry, Hugh Laurie, Tony Slattery and Emma Thompson.

          2. Anonymous Coward
            Anonymous Coward

            "[...] particularly Julian and Sandy."

            Excerpts from that programme always bring back the taste of Sunday lunches' warm apple pie and custard. My mother condemned Max Miller as "filthy" - yet she never seemed to see the double entendres in "Round the Horne". Not that I did either in those childhood days. The media-speak for gay activities in "The People" Sunday newspaper seemed to reference "white polo neck jumpers" as a code.

            ISIHAC lost its appeal when Humph died. The new presenters have never managed that same air of innocent delivery.

            In the 17th century - John Dryden's "Sylvia the fair" - and Andrew Marvell's "Ode to a coy mistress" - are explicit sexual themes couched in poetic language analogies.

            Cecil Sharp's collection of traditional folk songs did them a disservice by bowdlerising many of the more ribald ones.

          3. macjules Silver badge

            And ITMA and The Goon Show predate that even further.

        2. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Never listened to "I'm Sorry I Haven't a Clue" then? Purveyor of juicy double-entendre to the middle classes since the early 70's.

          Or "Are you being served?" which just had an extra delightful episode made? That was IMHO a fantastically entertaining combination of stereotyping and innuendo, and for this foreigner a rather good introduction to the delightful duplicity of English where one word can have several layers of meaning.

          Yes, I rather like English :).

        3. Wiltshire

          Humphrey Lyttelton at his best?

          Humph had a deadpan delivery of double entendres. "Samantha" the fictional scorer was the subject.

          e.g.

          Samantha has to nip off to the National Opera where she's been giving private tuition to the singers. Having seen what she did to the baritone, the director is keen to see what she might do for a tenor!

          After tasting the meat pies, Samantha said she liked Mr Dewhurst's beef in ale; although she preferred his tongue in cider!

          etc

      2. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Lady, shall I lie in your lap?

        > The British public have gradually acknowledged that double entendres are an integral part of the culture.

        I doubt that very much, it's not an integral part of British culture until it's in Shakespeare.

        1. Alister Silver badge

          Re: Lady, shall I lie in your lap?

          @AC

          I doubt that very much, it's not an integral part of British culture until it's in Shakespeare.

          I know you probably wrote that tongue in cheek, but you do us a disservice, there's an awful lot of integral British culture which Shakespeare had no hand in, and quite a lot of "British" traditions, mores and values only appeared in Victorian times, although of course had then existed forever.

    2. Velv Silver badge
      Coat

      I still remember the not-so-innuendo Julian Clary quip at the Britsh Comedy Awards about fisting Norman Lamont.

      It wasn't the joke that was the funny bit, it was the kid who turned to his Mum and went "Mum, who's Norman Lamont?"

      1. MJI Silver badge

        I just thought why does Julian Clarey want to punch Norman Lamont.

        EVERYONE I knew thought the same, fisting is another term for punch up.

  8. Little Mouse

    Sad Times

    I'm still getting over the upset of The Goodies moving to ITV.

    1. Martin an gof Silver badge

      Re: Sad Times

      Goodies: we have the DVDs. Some spark definitely went missing in the move to ITV, and it might have been one of the factors contributing to the existing series never being repeated, while the contemporary Monty Python was seemingly never off the screens.

      With the benefit of hindsight, MP was definitely more "modern" but both have preserved well. I'd contend that The Goodies was much more consistent, while MP suffered from too many poor in-fill sketches between the comedy diamonds.

      Also probably tainted by the fact that my parents in the 1970s let me watch the Goodies, but turned the telly off for Monty Python.

      M.

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Sad Times

      It was either ATV, Yorkshire TV, Granada, London Weekend Television etc back, (better not forget Ulster TV either, don't want to upset NI) you have issue with, which homogenised (get a cooking term in) into ITV at a much later date.

  9. Don Dumb

    "Most watched TV Show"

    When you remember that the "most watched" stats do not include people watching in the pub or outdoors on big screens you realise that the 'most watched' are biased heavily against major sport events.

    The England vs Wales World Cup Rugby match, on a Saturday night was likely to have had a higher number of people watching in the UK but a large proportion of viewers wouldn't have been counted. I was, for instance, watching at a party at a friend's house, I don't believe any of us (other than the householders) would have counted towards the viewing stats.

    Shows like EastEnders and GBBO are watched primarily by people in their own homes so always come out high up in the stats. When sporting events that seem to have been watched by almost everyone have much lower rating than you would expect.

    Confession - I do actually enjoy GBBO, not all of the weeks and not the early rounds, I find it to be a wonderful food porn. I've found that now I don't eat cake very often, but still have a ridiculously sweet tooth, I can genuinely get enjoyment from watching people make cakes. I also enjoyed the fact that the shows didn't really get into the personalities or back stories and didn't seem to be overly dramatised. or cut throat.

    1. Rimpel

      Re: "Most watched TV Show"

      >I don't believe any of us (other than the householders) would have counted towards the viewing stats.

      It's unlikely any of you actually counted towards the viewing figures - do you realise that they are just estimates based on monitoring a few specific households?

      http://www.barb.co.uk/about-us/how-we-do-what-we-do/

      1. Don Dumb
        Holmes

        Re: "Most watched TV Show"

        @Rimpel - "It's unlikely any of you actually counted towards the viewing figures - do you realise that they are just estimates based on monitoring a few specific households?"

        Yes, er, that was my point, obviously so badly made you felt the need to reply twice.

        I'm aware the stats are based on a few specific households and the house I was in was unlikely to be one of them, I was merely avoiding making the assumption that the house I was at was not one of them.

    2. Rimpel

      Re: "Most watched TV Show"

      >I don't believe any of us (other than the householders) would have counted towards the viewing stats.

      It's unlikely that any of you actually counted towards the viewing figures - do you realise that they are just estimates based on monitoring a few specific households?

      http://www.barb.co.uk/about-us/how-we-do-what-we-do/

    3. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: "Most watched TV Show"

      Viewing figures should be more accurate nowadays, as they can get accurate Sky, Virgin Media Cable and iPlayer viewing figures, into the mix, not just limited 'black box data' of a select few, watching via the airwaves.

  10. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    There is an upside to this cake.

    For all those thinking its time to ditch their TV licence in protest but love Bake Off...well you can!

    At least now will be able to watch it legally on Channel4's All4 App on catchup, which you can't currently do legally watching on BBC iPlayer anymore, without a TV licence, since 1st Sept 2016.

    (Channel 4 aren't daft, they realise Supermarkets will be scrambling desperately between with each other to fill those ad slots, only to be outbid by McDonalds and Coke).

    Can't cook?, look have some lovely McDonalds and Coke to wash that down. (you get the idea).

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: There is an upside to this cake.

      "At least now will be able to watch it legally on Channel4's All4 App on catchup". Or use a PVR and skip the ads.... That's the way I watch "The Fast Clegg", but that's because it's on during my kids bedtime.

      Quite happy to pay licence fee for using iplayer, although I suspect it's going to bork watching iplayer streams on OSMC, so I might have to fork out for a nasty crippled set top box instead of using OSMC on a raspberry pi.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: There is an upside to this cake.

        I don't mind "catch-up" streamed video from TV stations forcing me to sit through advertisers' inserts. However C4 goes beyond the pale by insisting that my ad blocking is also switched off.

        1. MJI Silver badge

          Re: There is an upside to this cake.

          Catch up

          I use the PS4 for C4, works fine just a few TV ads.

          shITV just moans like hell, no PS4 client so PC time and they are evil, I see their ads but no programs. So use STV player on Firefox instead and delete the node annoying you after the postcode (I used a known postcode from a customer), I will do a greasmonkey script some time to handle it.

        2. EddieD

          Re: There is an upside to this cake.

          It's not just that they insist on the ad-blocking turned off, it's that the Channel 4 site is a terrible hotch-potch of scripts, and some shows run fine for a few episodes, then, even though uBlock is disabled, pop the "We're funded by adverts..." spiel, and you find that yet another domain is asking to be unblocked... I'm not that concerned - I never see any interstitials or whatevers, they seem to be blocked by my 5000 line (curated from various internet contributions) hosts file.

          It's been hypothesised that in paying this ludicrous amount of money for GBBO, C4 may have shot themselves in the foot, and although they are commercially/advert funded, they are, in the end, publicly owned, and since they seem to be able to shell out increasingly large sums of money for some shows e.g. F1, GBBO, they're now extremely ripe for a sell off.

      2. Dan 55 Silver badge

        Re: There is an upside to this cake.

        If iPlayer does get updated to stop Kodi and so on, put Android/Android TV on a Pi 3 and use the iPlayer app.

  11. Jabber 44

    IT Angle (tenuous) - I just installed an oven from the same German manufacturer that appears to be used on GBBO - and it included information regarding the open source license for the probably LINUX operating system that it uses...

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      One way of force feeding Microsofties, Linux. Finally they get a taste for the finer things in life. :)

    2. CrazyOldCatMan Silver badge

      >I just installed an oven from the same German manufacturer

      Out of interest - who was the manufacturer? SWMBO is muttering about remodelling the kitchen/dining room/utility[1] and has often commented that she likes the ovens on GBBO.

      [1] My contribution is to make sure we have a 5-burner gas hob with a wok ring in the middle. Since it's me that does all the wokking/frying/stuff involving hot oil apart from roasties it seemed fair. Oh - and I suggested that we went for underfloor heating as we'll be taking away at least 3 radiators..

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        "My contribution is to make sure we have a 5-burner gas hob with a wok ring in the middle."

        When I renovated my kitchen many years ago I added a built-in griddle to the hob spec. Hardly ever used - and never for the intended purpose of making Potteries oatcakes.

  12. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Why wasn't Prince Philip not included in the poll? He could have any of the following minorities as a sidekick - coloured, slanty eyed, invalid, dubious sexual orientation. His remarks would absolutely make the news every day !!

  13. TRT Silver badge

    The cake...

    is a lie.

  14. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Chris Evans

    Chris Evans should be brought in, so that Bake Off fans can fully appreciate how us Clarkson/Hammond/May Top Gear fans feel :)

    Joking, obviously, I'm really not that mean.

    1. MJI Silver badge

      Re: Chris Evans

      Sponsored by Haribo

      1. TRT Silver badge

        Re: Chris Evans

        Given his penchant for throwing up, it'd be like...

        this.

  15. This post has been deleted by a moderator

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: lost for words

      Try eating some cake and cheering up, you mardy-arsed twat.

    2. David Nash Silver badge

      Re: lost for words

      You obviously care enough to comment, and watch enough to form an opinion on all the presenters!

      It's more entertaining than "Mrs" Brown's Boys in my opinion but then I choose to turn that off, not rant about other people's choices.

    3. jaywin

      Re: lost for words

      Did you fail your audition by presenting a soggy bottom to Mary?

  16. John Sager
    Mushroom

    Der Nigel und Jean Spiel

    Or Die or Das? I don't do Deutsch. Anyway, I quite like the idea of N & J sparking off each other but they ain't by any means the masters of repartee, so reluctantly it had to be Clarkson.

    However it looks like the programme's makers have just committed ritual Seppuku, and for much more venial motives than Top Gear.

  17. allthecoolshortnamesweretaken Silver badge
    1. MJI Silver badge

      Sorry - too punchable

  18. Andy The Hat Silver badge

    Clarkson ...?

    V8 powered blenders? V10 turbo fan ovens? Probably the noisiest kitchen ... in the world ...

    But seriously, does £25million make economic broadcasting sense?

    1. MJI Silver badge

      Re: Clarkson ...?

      £25M, no it doesn't.

      Inexpensive to make series compared to many.

  19. hugo tyson
    Coat

    Needs a proper critic

    Why can't we have Brian Sewell? Aside from him being dead. And his bro George as sidekick to introduce some gritty realism.

    1. Snorkherder

      Re: Needs a proper critic

      Zombie Brian Sewell FTW !

  20. heyrick Silver badge

    This must make me the saddest person on earth

    Never watched the program. Not once.

  21. Tromos

    None of the listed candidates is really shouty enough for a C4 presenter, but my vote goes to Ballmer as a bit of chair throwing could liven the proceedings up.

    1. This post has been deleted by its author

    2. MJI Silver badge

      Shouty TV

      Is when it is time to turn off.

  22. David Pollard

    Send for the moderatrix

    I'm sure she would be perfect for the job. After checking a few replays she would soon pick up details of Mary's expertise on critical issues such as soggy bottoms and so forth. I'm equally sure she is still missed by Reg readers..

  23. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Worst possible outcome using C4's existing 'talent'...

    Hosts:

    Davina 'shouty' McCall

    Graham 'camp innuendo' Norton

    Judges:

    Gordon 'fucking' Ramsey

    Nigella 'stroke the cream' Lawson

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Worst possible outcome using C4's existing 'talent'...

      C4 could always use their stalwart presenters of smutty interpretations - Jean Paul Gaultier and Antoine de Caunes.

  24. Justicesays
    Stop

    I'm not really sure how this fits with the Channel 4's charter

    Channel 4 is a government owned commercial channel with a public service remit

    "We are a publicly-owned, commercially-funded public service broadcaster. We do not receive any public funding and have a remit to be innovative, experimental and distinctive. "

    I'm not sure how buying an existing show by outbidding the publicly funded broadcaster is forwarding any of those values.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Paris Hilton

      Re: I'm not really sure how this fits with the Channel 4's charter

      Doesn't "publicly owned" mean "PLC" rather than "state owned"?

      1. Justicesays

        Re: I'm not really sure how this fits with the Channel 4's charter

        I guess "publicly owned" sounds better than "state owned" when it comes to broadcasters....

        Elsewhere on the site it does say "State owned"

        http://www.channel4.com/info/corporate/about/channel-4s-remit

        And Wikipedia says "Although largely commercially self-funded, it is ultimately publicly owned; originally a subsidiary of the Independent Broadcasting Authority (IBA), the station is now owned and operated by Channel Four Television Corporation, a public corporation of the Department for Culture, Media & Sport"

  25. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    GBBO is a resurrection of the spirit of the 1970s "Cordon Bleu cookery course" magazines that had recipes accompanied by colour pictures. They were published monthly - to make a set of twenty.

    It was said that many subscribers sat and looked at the pictures while eating their beans on toast.

  26. Oengus Silver badge

    Alternative Judges

    We could have Julian Assange and Edward Snowden as the judges but they would have to phone it in.

  27. MachDiamond Silver badge

    I was very disappointed when I heard that Mel and Sue were leaving the show and it was being moved to C4. From all of the contestant interviews, M&S were a big part of keeping people sane with both comedy and compassion. Somehow I don't see Jeremy Clarkson being accused of those offenses.

    The show is a lot of fun without employing some goofy stunt like making a person bake with pans cut in half or one arm tied behind their backs. I've learned tons of technique by watching the show and the accompanying Master Classes. Girls can be wooed when a guy cooks them a great meal or brings over a fancy desert. Doing the dishes at her place after she's cooked a meal is a close second for points.

    If Paul and Mary also leave, it will be a very different show. I'm sure that Love Prod. (pun intended) will be offering them loads of wonga to stay on.

  28. Faceless Man

    I just presumed that Channel 4 would get Jimmy Carr to host it, like they do everything else.

    Or perhaps that should read "a Jimmy Carr" since they probably have a whole bunch of clones or LMDs or Replicants in storage in case there's a hosting emergency.

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