back to article 'What this video game needs is actual footage of real gruesome deaths'

Protests about video games usually call for less violence. But People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals (PETA) has called for more violence - and more graphic violence – in the forthcoming Farming Simulator 17. PETA's beef with developer GIANTS Software GmbH stems from the promise that pig farming would debut in the game's …

  1. JLV Silver badge

    Here's an idea, PETA, write your own damn game, then you can decide on its contents.

    1. Captain DaFt

      Here's an idea, PETA, write your own damn game

      Good idea.

      They could base it on their "animal shelters", and show exactly how fast they gas animals in their care.

      https://duckduckgo.com/?q=peta+animal+shelter+scandal&ia=web

      More like: PETA: People Exterminating Terrified Animals

      1. MrDamage

        Re: Here's an idea, PETA, write your own damn game

        @Captain Daft: I came to make the same statement. Have an upvote.

      2. caffeine addict Silver badge

        Re: Here's an idea, PETA, write your own damn game

        My MIL is addicted to casual games where you have to seat diners together in groups and feed them as quickly as possible.

        I'm sure we could rewrite one of them so that you get to play a PeTA hypocrite who has to gas animals as efficiently as possible, keeping the animals in family groups to "minimise distress", then killing them and dumping their bodies in the trash.

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: Here's an idea, PETA, write your own damn game

          > My MIL is addicted to casual games where you have to seat diners together in groups and feed them as quickly as possible.

          That would be "hosting dinner parties"?

          1. Oliver Mayes

            Re: Here's an idea, PETA, write your own damn game

            Candlelight Supper Simulator 2016

            Pre-order bonuses include the Royal Doulton plates with Hand-Painted Periwinkles.

      3. macjules Silver badge

        Re: Here's an idea, PETA, write your own damn game

        Please no. Given PETA's preference for Animals over Humans I suspect that a PETA game would be something along the lines of "Concentration Camp Commander".

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: Here's an idea, PETA, write your own damn game

          Ah yes, where you have enough food for only half the inmates, and its a question of selecting who goes to the gas chambers...?

        2. evilhippo

          Re: Here's an idea, PETA, write your own damn game

          Thread winner

          1. Anonymous Coward
            Anonymous Coward

            Re: Here's an idea, PETA, write your own damn game

            I don't think your allowed to kill pigs by dumping them in boiling water in the EU. So, perhaps there'd need to be regional variations.

    2. salamamba too

      They should remember to end the game suddenly and without warning, to represent the much higher rate of suicide among independent farmers.

  2. Mark 85 Silver badge

    I take it this is not the People Eating Tasty Animals group....

    Some "activist" types will whine about anything to take our bacon away. Where's the "fuck off" icon when we need it?

    1. JLV Silver badge

      Re: I take it this is not the People Eating Tasty Animals group....

      I suspect that even PETA is not really expecting to have the game changed.

      (cunning plan) making this unreasonable request means media coverage, leading to some people, apparently not us robust commentards though, feeling guilty about bacon.

      Foiled!

      1. Pompous Git Silver badge

        Re: I take it this is not the People Eating Tasty Animals group....

        apparently not us robust commentards though, feeling guilty about bacon.

        I have a very good friend who is vegetarian and he tells me that the only downside to it is the smell of frying bacon. So, when you think about it, we are doing vegetarians a favour by eating fried bacon because that makes the smell go away and removes the temptation :-)

        1. JLV Silver badge

          Re: I take it this is not the People Eating Tasty Animals group....

          Maybe he means the frying bacon smell is what makes him regret being vegetarian?

          And... since you've mentioned being Jewish further down, I'll take your bacon, just to avoid your lapsing into sin/temptation ;-).

          You're welcome.

          1. Pompous Git Silver badge

            Re: I take it this is not the People Eating Tasty Animals group....

            Maybe he means the frying bacon smell is what makes him regret being vegetarian?

            And... since you've mentioned being Jewish further down, I'll take your bacon, just to avoid your lapsing into sin/temptation ;-).

            Let's face it, there is no smell quite so delightful as frying bacon, only enhanced by the smell of freshly made coffee :-) There is nothing comparable in vegetarian cuisine despite ever so many delicious vegetarian dishes.

            Jewishness in the sense of race is passed on through the female of the species. As it happens, my father was raised a Roman catholic, not the Jewish faith. My mother was an Anglican, but in her latter years was a Methodist and an atheist in-between. My father became apostate when he saw a priest raping a very young girl. For my sins I'm agnostic. My mother's pastor claims my father became a believer at the last, but I have my doubts. People infected by religion seem ever so good at self-deception.

            But this has nowt to do with bacon! You may share my bacon with me, but stealing it is definitely a grievous sin no matter your intentions. Roit?

    2. Crazy Operations Guy Silver badge

      Re: I take it this is not the People Eating Tasty Animals group....

      I've always hated PETA for getting angry at stupidity like this and things like demanding that the band 'Pet Shop Boys' change their name. They are so loud and annoying that the general population paint every other activist with the same brush. There are even animal rights groups that are far more rational that are trying to end actual animal cruelty that are getting overshadowed and pushed to the side by these nut jobs.

      I agree that there are some farming techniques that are downright inhumane and need to be banned. I say this after finishing off a meal of Brazed rack of lamb with a side of bacon-wrapped veal medallions and a side salad including grilled and marinated chicken strips with Cesar dressing. Meat treated well is good, animal cruelty is bad (fear and stress hormones ruin the meat, after all).

      PETA has caused the extreme polarization of the anti-animal cruelty movement and distilled it two sides: either you are a total vegan or you're OK with purposefully torturing animals when slaughtering them. They have made a middle-ground position nearly non-existent...

  3. Anonymous Coward
    Stop

    They forget one small detail...

    "The lobby group thinks that the developer has an obligation to depict the swine-herding experience with complete verisimilitude, including pigs being slaughtered by being “hung upside down, stabbed, and dropped into scalding-hot water.

    I can actually respect their opinion, because it is true that sometimes us humans don't exactly treat animals as gentle or kindly as we could. Not every country has applied laws which demand that slaughter houses try to keep the stress on the animals as small as possible.

    But having said that... Slaughter houses... A farmer who has livestock usually doesn't slaughter these animals themselves. They get loaded into a truck, unloaded at the slaughter house and after processing (yes, I know how that sounds) the farmer gets the end product(s): the meat and such.

    So... even though I can respect PETA's opinion on this matter I also think it would suit them to get their own facts straightened out as well.

    1. Pompous Git Silver badge

      Re: They forget one small detail...

      farmer who has livestock usually doesn't slaughter these animals themselves. They get loaded into a truck, unloaded at the slaughter house and after processing (yes, I know how that sounds) the farmer gets the end product(s): the meat and such.

      While the farmer sells most of his stock to somebody else who sends the meat to the slaughterhouse, almost every farmer I know slaughters his, or her own. It takes me about 20 minutes to kill and remove the innards and skin of a sheep; a little longer for a goat (the skinning is all knife-work). The slaughterhouse I took one animal to 30 years ago currently charges ~AU60 so I have saved a small fortune over the years doing my own.

      Dave Stephens who owned that slaughterhouse now has a mobile slaughtering business and is most useful for the larger animals -- pigs and steers -- that need a winch and suitable place to haul the animal off the ground.

      There are several reasons for preferring to slaughter on-farm. The main one is the animal doesn't get frightened. The adrenalin in a scared animal toughens and taints the meat. On-farm slaughtering's also a lot cheaper. Dave also has a portable chiller you can rent these days so you can hang your beef for a fortnight. Beef that has been properly aged is much tastier and more tender than fresh beef.

      PETA complains about dipping pigs in scalding water without mentioning that the animal is dead by then and minus its internal organs! The reason is to loosen the bristles that would otherwise render the skin inedible. Let's face it, the main reason for roast pork is the crackling. And for all the bacon sarnie lovers here, you've never had a proper one until you've had one made with home-made bacon from a free-range pig. Eat your heart out :-)

      1. AMBxx Silver badge

        Re: They forget one small detail...

        Sadly, over here in the EU (leaving shortly), you're only allowed to slaughter animals on-premise for your own consumption.

        My cockerel is becoming vicious so will shortly be heading to the oven. I can eat him, my wife can eat him, but I can't sell him or allow anyone else to eat anything. When it comes to visitors, the law is a bit grey.

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: They forget one small detail...

          My cockerel is becoming vicious so will shortly be heading to the oven. I can eat him, my wife can eat him, but I can't sell him or allow anyone else to eat anything. When it comes to visitors, the law is a bit grey.

          I imagine you'd probably get away with it, so long as nobody noticed they were missing.

          1. Pompous Git Silver badge

            Re: They forget one small detail...

            I imagine you'd probably get away with it, so long as nobody noticed they were missing.

            If they were marxist/lentillists, or fundalentillists, people might even be grateful ;-)

        2. Pompous Git Silver badge

          Re: They forget one small detail...

          I can eat him, my wife can eat him, but I can't sell him or allow anyone else to eat anything. When it comes to visitors, the law is a bit grey.

          My understanding is that cannibalism is not illegal, so if you have your visitors' permission, it's likely OK to eat them. Warning: There may be other laws you contravene when doing so.

        3. Mark 85 Silver badge

          Re: They forget one small detail...

          I can eat him, my wife can eat him, but I can't sell him or allow anyone else to eat anything. When it comes to visitors, the law is a bit grey.

          Lends a proper meaning to "having an old friend for dinner", doesn't it, Hannibal?

        4. Dave 15

          Re: They forget one small detail...

          I think the EU were trying to do away with some of the nastier practices you see in places like China where slaughtering in as nasty a way as possible has been refined to an art form.

          Unfortunately as we have seen in numerous places these slaughter houses tend to develop there own unpleasant ways of slaughter (hammers and the like) mainly I suspect because those who kill a new animal every couple of seconds really stop noticing or caring (and I did work slaughtering turkeys at one point so yes, after a while they are just another...)

          The thing that is most disturbing in Europe is the way certain other countries treat their animals. In the UK you frequently see pigs outside wandering around, in Germany, a country renowned for eating pork you do not, the pigs here are intensively reared in unbelievable poor conditions in concrete pens where they are literally unable to even turn.

          I eat meat, especially love the pork crackling, but even though I eat the stuff I don't believe it is right to make the animals suffer

      2. Paul Westerman
        Thumb Up

        Re: They forget one small detail...

        My brother lives in NZ (we're Brits) and he has one steer at a time on his small plot. He hires a guy who turns up in a Land Rover, drives across the field and shoots the animal when it's looking the other way. He says the same thing, if the animal is stressed it spoils the meat. Then he takes it away and comes back a few days later with joints, mince, burgers, steaks, whatever you want, all ready to go in the freezer. My bro says it's the best meat he's ever tasted.

        1. SteveCarr

          Re: They forget one small detail...

          As someone who lives in NZ, on a small rural block, I can attest to the wonders of "home kill" meat. So much tastier, and there's that warm glow you get from knowing Bessie went out blissfully unafraid, rather than in trembling fear of her impending doom in a Belsen-like abattoir.

  4. Richard Jones 1
    WTF?

    There Is More To Add

    What about some 'free range foxes' killing and eating or discarding dead free range chickens with no added gruesome violence there is enough already and lots of the inevitable blood and panic.

    Then we should have, no must have TB infected badgers infecting 30,000 cattle per year resulting in their slaughter at some considerable suffering not to mention costs. Then include those trying to ensure that the badgers continue to be free to infect other animals by trying to block all ways of stopping the infection.

    Where is the society for the protection of the TB bacilli when you need them?

    That is the problem with societies exhibiting one view wisdom, they end up with no visible signs of wisdom.

    1. Pompous Git Silver badge

      Re: There Is More To Add

      What about some 'free range foxes' killing and eating or discarding dead free range chickens

      Electrified netting...

      If you don't know how to properly care for stock, you need to find another occupation.

      1. AMBxx Silver badge
        IT Angle

        Re: There Is More To Add

        Wow! Picture of chickens in grass. Have you any idea how rare that is? Most 'free range' chickens are stuck in barns and only need 'access' to outside to qualify as free range.

        1. Pompous Git Silver badge

          Re: There Is More To Add

          Wow! Picture of chickens in grass. Have you any idea how rare that is? Most 'free range' chickens are stuck in barns and only need 'access' to outside to qualify as free range.

          Not particularly rare here. You're thinking of the supermarkets. "The Fresh Food People" also sell vegetables in an advanced state of decay. Barn-laid eggs are usually labelled "barn-laid eggs" here. The Git used to keep a couple of dozen laying hens and was paid full retail for them by the dude who sold them on to gourmet restaurants. These days we only have two, a pullet (Mia Sparrow) and a hen (Henrietta Grub) living in a moveable pen called The Female Factory. It's for bird girls only and has a sign on it: Eiablage macht frei.

          The chickens we eat are free-range from a producer who specialises in such. In the early days (1980s) there was a quota of one bird per fortnight due to demand. These days they are the most successful producers of poultry meat in the state.

          1. GrumpenKraut Silver badge
            Unhappy

            Re: There Is More To Add

            > Eiablage macht frei.

            Holy fuck! Even as a joke: no, no, and no.

            1. Pompous Git Silver badge

              Re: There Is More To Add

              Holy fuck! Even as a joke: no, no, and no.

              I'm truly sorry if that offends; my Jewish ancestors transmitted some weird sense of humour genes into me.

              Here's a really good "joke". My father was a guest in one of Mr H's Holiday Camps (AKA a slave labourer). When the German government paid him reparations, it was on the basis the money not be taxed. The Australian government decided that since it was definitely income received in the present, it was taxable and took most of it. Funny eh?

              PS The chickens are definitely better fed and treated than my father was if that helps.

              1. GrumpenKraut Silver badge
                Thumb Up

                Re: There Is More To Add

                > ...guest in one of Mr H's Holiday Camps...

                OK, OK, I'll adjust my dark-humor meter!

                1. Pompous Git Silver badge

                  Re: There Is More To Add

                  OK, OK, I'll adjust my dark-humor meter!

                  And I will attempt to tone down my darkness somewhat. I'm mildly Aspergers and consequently have a tendency to be a bit OTT for the neurotypicals.

                  1. GrumpenKraut Silver badge
                    Pint

                    Re: There Is More To Add

                    > And I will attempt to tone down my darkness somewhat.

                    No need to do that IMO!

        2. Geoffrey W Silver badge

          Re: There Is More To Add

          RE: "...chickens in grass. Have you any idea how rare that is?"

          Not round here. The chicken gang from the house down the hill comes round quite regularly and terrorises the cats. Its hilarious to watch. Those little feathery buggers can be quite ferocious.

      2. Pompous Git Silver badge
        Unhappy

        Re: There Is More To Add

        Wowsers! Thumbs down for suggesting that livestock be properly cared for. There sure are some sickos out there!

    2. Timmy B Silver badge

      Re: There Is More To Add

      Had me at foxes --- lost me at badgers.

    3. Merchman

      Re: There Is More To Add

      Nice you got the facts right about the spread of bovine TB. Wait. The other thing. There is no recognised benefit of killing badgers to prevent the spread. If anything, in parts of the West Country where this has been happening, bTB has stayed flat, or increased. In Wales, however, where they have been vaccinating, cases are reducing.

      1. Ilmarinen

        Badgers Badgers Badgers (Re: There Is More To Add)

        "no recognised benefit of killing badgers"

        Except of course to hedgehogs (now quite rare here since the Badger Boom).

        And it would stop the stripey vermin digging up gardens/playing fields/churchyards.

        No predators you see (other than cars)

        And no, not a good idea to re-introduce wolves to swallow the badgers, as the old lady found out with the fly ;-)

    4. Dave 15

      Re: There Is More To Add

      TBH Foxes killing chickens is not such a massively common thing, and if you hadn't slaughtered all the rabbits would probably be even less common

      As for badgers, 30k cattle a year that would be slaughtered anyway is a small proportion of the herd, not to mention that most of the cross infections are caused moving the damned cattle around.

      Do I want a countryside which is clinically clean of any wildlife just in case some farmer somewhere thinks this damned wildlife (or hedgerows, trees, streams etc etc etc ) reduces the subsidies and profit he makes by tuppence happeny.

  5. MartinB105

    Why is anyone still listening to these terrorists anyway!?

    That is all.

    1. John Bailey

      Re: Why is anyone still listening to these terrorists anyway!?

      Because outraged clickbait.

    2. sabroni Silver badge

      Re: terrorists?

      If only PETA were the only terrorists in the world. The other ones try to kill people.

      1. Pompous Git Silver badge

        Re: terrorists?

        If only PETA were the only terrorists in the world. The other ones try to kill people.

        Fortunately with only limited success. Sadly, governments get away with mass murder on a grand scale.

  6. jake Silver badge

    As usual, PETA is lying.

    "including pigs being slaughtered by being “hung upside down, stabbed, and dropped into scalding-hot water.”

    Start with a happy, healthy hog, raised with tender, loving care.

    Slaughter the hog. I use a largeish handgun, the hog doesn't feel a thing.[0]

    Note: the hog is already dead at this stage of the celebration.

    Then harvest the blood for sausages of various descriptions.

    Next, boil the carcass to make hair removal easy. Hair is not good eats. Pig skin is.

    NOW you hang the carcass, to make further harvesting easier.

    If we were not intended to eat hogs, why is it that every single piece of the critters is made out of food?

    [0] Or shoot a wild boar ... they may be varmints, but they sure taste good!

    1. sabroni Silver badge

      Re: why is it that every single piece of the critters is made out of food?

      What are you made of jake? That is the single most stupid argument for meat eating that exists, unless you're a cannibal.

      1. Pompous Git Silver badge

        Re: why is it that every single piece of the critters is made out of food?

        What are you made of jake? That is the single most stupid argument for meat eating that exists, unless you're a cannibal.

        Monty Python Undertaker Sketch

      2. Purple-Stater

        Re: why is it that every single piece of the critters is made out of food?

        "That is the single most stupid argument for meat eating that exists, unless you're a cannibal."

        Surely it would be much sillier to eat a cow because she was spying on you via telepathy, or hadn't trimmed her hooves properly? I must admit great difficulty in finding a better reason to eat something than "it is food"; one does not eat a rock simply because it tastes better than an onion (I speak in generalities, your tastes may vary).

        1. RandomFactor
          Happy

          Re: why is it that every single piece of the critters is made out of food?

          >> one does not eat a rock simply because it tastes better than an onion (I speak in generalities, your tastes may vary).

          Err, i remember looking up what Twinkies were made of once, digging back to the actual sources of the various ingredients, and, yeah, lets just say rocks DO taste better than onions.

          1. Pompous Git Silver badge

            Re: why is it that every single piece of the critters is made out of food?

            lets just say rocks DO taste better than onions.

            Let's just say I find the concept of commencing a curry by gently frying diced Twinkies instead of onions somewhat disgusting.

            Disclaimer: I have never in my life eaten a Twinkie.

            1. itzman
              Paris Hilton

              Re: why is it that every single piece of the critters is made out of food?

              Darling, I dont even know what a twinkie is....

        2. Pompous Git Silver badge

          Re: why is it that every single piece of the critters is made out of food?

          Surely it would be much sillier to eat a cow because she was spying on you via telepathy

          Oh, I dunno. The cow certainly wouldn't be able to telepathically spy on you any more. What would be crazy is eating hamburgers so they couldn't. Everybody knows that hamburgers aren't telepathic.

      3. jake Silver badge

        Re: why is it that every single piece of the critters is made out of food?

        sabroni, I realize that logic isn't exactly your strongest attribute, but perhaps you should ponder on the word I used. I wrote "food" not "meat". For a reason.

        Although, in extreme circumstances (c.f. the Donner-Reed Party), humans are indeed usable as a primary food-source for other humans. I'm sure you are happy to know that getting into a situation where I would personally have to put that theory to the test is very close to the bottom of my "to do" list.

      4. Schlimnitz

        Re: why is it that every single piece of the critters is made out of food?

        Sorry, could not resist:

        https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bGW-qnlrMjs

        But people have always eaten people,

        What else is there to eat?

        If the Juju had meant us not to eat people,

        He wouldn't have made us of meat!

    2. evilhippo

      Re: As usual, PETA is lying.

      "Or shoot a wild boar ... they may be varmints, but they sure taste good!"

      Truth! Occasionally do that in Croatia. Best tasting meat ever!

  7. Pompous Git Silver badge
    1. Kane Silver badge

      Re: And for those who may have forgotten...

      "Good evening, madame and gentlemen. I am the main dish of the day. May I interest you in parts of my body?"

  8. Rattus Rattus

    “To do anything else would be dishonest" says PETA's Harriet Barclay

    Best listen to them, PETA know all about dishonesty. They're experts.

  9. heyrick Silver badge

    To do anything else would be dishonest

    Dear Harriet,

    I don't know about your country, but I do know my neighbour across the field runs a pig farm. I'm in rural France so this is hardly unusual. Generally, animals are loaded on to trucks early on Tuesday morning and taken to a local market for sale. They are absolutely never slaughtered on site. I asked the farmer about this and he started quoting research that boils down to "you can't treat pigs like shit and expect it to not affect the rest". Think of it like incompetent management and company morale. Therefore if you are striving for accuracy, pigs might be kept in the dark and stuffed full of injections for god knows what, but they aren't slaughtered on site. [even the farmer, taking a pig for himself, takes it home (in the back of his little Citroën, it's quite conical) to kill it]

    1. Pompous Git Silver badge

      Re: To do anything else would be dishonest

      even the farmer, taking a pig for himself, takes it home (in the back of his little Citroën, it's quite conical) to kill it

      I've never seen a conical pig! Care to share a picture? :-)

      1. Rattus Rattus

        Re: To do anything else would be dishonest

        Perhaps it takes on that shape after being squeezed into the Citroen? Not a lot of room in there.

        1. John H Woods Silver badge

          Re: To do anything else would be dishonest

          That's where the parabolic bacon comes from!

      2. BlokeOnMotorway

        Re: To do anything else would be dishonest

        Conical Citroen surely?

        1. Pompous Git Silver badge

          Re: To do anything else would be dishonest

          Conical Citroen surely?

          What I thought at first. I'm fairly certain that I've seen most models of Citroën and while oddly shaped, I can't recall seeing one that was conical. My favourite was the Goddess fondly called "The Frog" by its owner.

        2. jake Silver badge

          Re: To do anything else would be dishonest

          No, no, no, no, no! It's chickens that are killed in cones!

          Mine holds an even dozen, arranged in a circle. Bird goes in wide end of cone, head comes out the narrow end. Repeat 11 more times. Now walk around lopping off heads. By the time you get to bird number 12, bird 1 has stopped bleeding (for the most part). Tip carcasses into the plucker[0], then eviscerate[1], and voila ... one dozen roasters, ready for cooking in about ten minutes.

          [0] Large wobbly drum with internal silicone "fingers" that mimics humans plucking birds.

          [1] The old fashioned way. No getting around this. If you're squeamish, find another career.

          1. Pompous Git Silver badge

            Re: To do anything else would be dishonest

            Tip carcasses into the plucker[0], then eviscerate[1], and voila ... one dozen roasters, ready for cooking in about ten minutes.

            That sounds like it's very efficient. Plucking by hand is surely a chore. My current best friend (several having died recently) skins his and that's very quick. Personally, I prefer crispy-skinned roast chicken to skinless. I also think that people who eat meat and don't slaughter their own are in no position to criticise.

            Congrats on the use of voila BTW. For some reason "viola" irritates me immensely.

            1. David Dawson

              Re: To do anything else would be dishonest

              Congrats on the use of voila BTW. For some reason "viola" irritates me immensely.

              Wrong resonance?

            2. John H Woods Silver badge

              Re: To do anything else would be dishonest

              Violas irritate everybody.

              Why does a viola burn longer than a violin?

              It's still in the case

              But surely viola can be excused as a typographic transposition, the truly objectionable is "Wah Lah" and similar.

              1. Pompous Git Silver badge

                Re: To do anything else would be dishonest

                Violas irritate everybody.

                Not! Some friends had a band called Mackenzie Theory back in the 1970s. Cleis Pearce was the electric viola player. While her playing in a prog rock band (rather than a classical music orchestra) annoyed the fuck out of her parents, we all loved her viola playing.

                Out of the Blue

      3. IanRS

        Re: To do anything else would be dishonest

        It helps with the aerodynamics on take-off.

      4. disgustedoftunbridgewells Silver badge

        Re: To do anything else would be dishonest

        Assuming a conical pig....

      5. heyrick Silver badge
        Happy

        Re: To do anything else would be dishonest

        Sorry guys. That should be comical, only there lie the dangers of swipe to type text entry that tries to guess what was intended (often getting it wrong).

        Still, conical pigs... I kind of imagine that they would look a little like that rotating meat "object" that kebabs come from (you know, if you gloss over the oinking/non-oinking issues).

      6. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: To do anything else would be dishonest

        "I've never seen a conical pig!"

        They were bred by an insane mathematician as part of his experiments into developing a real-life spherical horse.

        I've no idea if he succeeded in getting it to move in simple harmonic motion.

        1. Ilmarinen

          Re: To do anything else would be dishonest

          "I've never seen a conical pig!"

          I think they're a bit like the Bonsai Kittens...

  10. Olius

    Stabbing?

    Only until the player unlocks a BFG.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Stabbing?

      No, he was a vegetarian. It's the other giants you had to worry about.

  11. imanidiot Silver badge

    The bleeding heart typea have no idea what a farm looks like. Let alone how one works. As to their opinion on animal slaughter, they can go ^*@@ a dong for all I care. Animals are tasty and provide good nutrients. Humans are omnivores and if you don't like that, please go very slowly kill yourself somewhere else you without bothering the rest of us.You quinoa munching bunch of stinky hippies...

  12. DasWezel
    Facepalm

    PETA

    Please just FOAD already.

  13. Version 1.0 Silver badge

    Let's try this with other games

    All flight simulators should have bodies strewn about the landscape every time you crash ... and God only knows what would really happen in SIM CITY.

  14. Alister Silver badge

    pigs being slaughtered by being “hung upside down, stabbed, and dropped into scalding-hot water.”

    It's a shame they haven't a clue what they are talking about. All of the above take place after the pig is dead, and are simply processes in preparing the carcass for consumption.

    Now if it was lobsters, you could argue that they are slaughtered by being tied up in rubber bands and dropped into scalding hot water, oh the horror, but somehow lobsters don't seem as emotive.

    1. heyrick Silver badge

      Waaaaah! Won't somebody think of the lobsters?!?

      Yeah. You're right. It doesn't really work, does it?

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Now if it was lobsters, you could argue that they are slaughtered by being tied up in rubber bands and dropped into scalding hot water, oh the horror, but somehow lobsters don't seem as emotive.

      I'm always humane when I cook lobsters - I put them in cold water, then bring it to a boil.

  15. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Misread title

    I was looking forward to a few PETA people going into a combine!

    Most UK slaughter houses are very humane (I'm not including Halal)

    Most UK farmers treat their animals as well as their pets - you get better meat that way

    Most UK farmers send a few of their stock to the local "kill and cut" butchers, because they know how well they have been looked after and want to taste the fruits of their labour

    To a previous poster regarding electric fencing. Great except it costs a small fortune, and then the fox just burrows under it anyway!

    If PETA can find wide scale abuse in the UK, then they can send their monkey (that they spent so much of public donations on) to photograph it!

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Misread title

      Misread title

      I was looking forward to a few PETA people going into a combine!

      Yes, the title is misleading.

      I was thinking the game was going to add depictions of people run over by tractors, savaged by sheep, etc.

      1. Mark 85 Silver badge

        Re: Misread title

        There was some disappointment... Cows with Guns. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FQMbXvn2RNI

  16. PassiveSmoking

    How about vegan simulator?

    You get to fill up your self-righteousness meter by being condescending and judgemental to people you don't know and haven't even met. Every time you get a press article printed in a publication that has nothing to do with veganism you get a "I trolled the media" achievement.

    Also, you're armed with a lentil fart bomb that can clear the entire screen in seconds.

    Bonus round consists of ploughing pedestrians down with your fixie as you ride it on the pavement in violation of all traffic laws. Double points for nailing partially sighted or blind people. Of course you can get killed if you go through a red light, but because of your crippling tofu addiction your colour vision has atrophied and all traffic lights look green to you.

  17. FuzzyWuzzys Silver badge
    Facepalm

    I always find it amusing when people start laying into P**A about their methods, that P**A constantly shout about everything they dislike under the sun, then people get on forums and starting shouting about eveything under the sun that they hate about P**A! FFS, it's like a playground some days.

    Tell you what, here's an adult idea, do what you do with any unruly child, you just ignore them. If you starve P**A of the oxygen of publicity by not mentioning their name or their activities, they will disappear eventually, if that's what you really want.

    1. Darryl

      Looks to me more like PITA randomly releases some press release about something that has absolutely nothing to do with it, and the media laps it up. Me ignoring them ain't gonna do a damn thing.

      Kind of like the Kardashians

    2. Mark 85 Silver badge
      Devil

      Ah..we should do to them what we do for a certain attention whore who's been couch surfing in an embassy then? Let's see if that works.

  18. Alien8n Silver badge

    Added graphic content?

    Considering how popular Goat Simulator is I would think adding more graphic content might backfire on PETA and make the game more desirable...

  19. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Slaughter House

    I had a buddy who worked in a slaughter house for a year or so. He was always quite kind and gentle with the animals, talking softly to them, and rubbing their heads. Then, he'd pull the .38 pistol out of his pocket and shoot them in their head.

    After a year or so of this, the nightmares got to be so bad that he had to quit. :-/

    But, the meat still tasted quite good.

  20. Tikimon Silver badge
    Coat

    Proud PETA member - People Eating Tasty Animals, that is

    (flees for the door)

  21. Purple-Stater

    Must Read

    Any article involving PETA always ends up with the MOST amusing comment section. I thank them.

    But imagine if car racing games had to do away with the unrealistic time lapse? Not to mention "Press pause so you can go to the loo? Too unrealistic!"

  22. Darryl

    You want real adult content? Wait for the New Zealand Sheep Farmer add-on.

    1. Pompous Git Silver badge

      You want real adult content? Wait for the New Zealand Sheep Farmer add-on.

      Murray Ball cartoon depicts a bloke and a sheep standing at the foot of the bed. Bloke's wife is in bed smoking a fag and hair in curlers. Bloke says: This is the cow I have sex with when you've got a headache.

      His Missus says: That's not a cow; it's a sheep.

      Bloke says: I wasn't talking to you.

    2. Pedigree-Pete

      Adult content. NZ Sheep Farmer add-on

      I think you'll find the Welsh cornered that market at least in the UK. PP

  23. Pompous Git Silver badge
    Pint

    @ GrumpenKraut

    It occurs to me to explain my bad "joke". You are precisely the second person to notice the message. For some reason I find that unutterably sad. Despite all the protestations of "never to forget", almost everyone does forget. Many never learn. I meet ever so many youngsters who think "The War" was in Vietnam. They know nothing of the great conflict that commenced in 1939.

    So I must thank you for knowing what the inscription means and what the original meant for so many millions of my people as they passed from this world into another.

  24. You aint sin me, roit
    Pint

    Adopt a pig!

    And a cow... and a sheep...

    There are 10 million cows, 15 million sheep and 5 million pigs in the UK. What does PETA suggest we do with them? Set them free to roam the land? Kill them humanely, but don't eat the meat 'cos that would be wrong?

    Consider this PETA... I eat kebabs so that your front lawns aren't overrun by sheep!

    (Or maybe it's the beer...)

  25. J.G.Harston Silver badge

    Farming Simulator? Naaah, Simpsons already done it.

  26. Andrew Moore Silver badge

    In fariness...

    It does say "farming simulator" not "abattoir simulator"

  27. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Yes, yes...

    This is all very good. But will the servers be able cope on launch day?

    I dont want any delay in jumping on a server for some sweet Swine Fortress 2.

    Also dont fuck me with season passes and DLC.

    I want the Greggs pack and Melton Mowbray mode as standard.

    Also if they're going for gritty realism will I be able to package and shipnthe good stuff to China and leave the lower grade stuff for the punters at home?

  28. MrRimmerSIR!

    Perhaps PETA should focus on actual animal suffering

    https://www.theguardian.com/world/2016/sep/14/rivers-of-blood-dhaka-bangladesh-eid-animal-sacrifices

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