back to article Angler hooks German's todger at nudist lake

A plucky German nudist out for a swim at a local lake was left in agony after an angler hooked his worm. Herbert Fendt - an alias the embarrassed man adopted to spare his family's blushes - was taking a dip in the Kaisersee, near Augsburg in south-eastern Germany, when the tackle-on-tackle action occurred. Initially the man …

  1. adam payne Silver badge
    1. TitterYeNot

      "Ouch!"

      Indeed, I bet that made him flounder, but he doesn't seem to carping on about it too much. I wouldn't swap plaices with him though.

      Having said that, maybe he shouldn't have been quite so koi when shouting at the angler, who must have been reely hard-of-herring. The only ray of light I can see in this dory is that the barb got his rod instead of his pollocks - that would really require the attentions of a sturgeon...

      1. psychonaut

        stuck between a rock and a hard plaice?

      2. Alister Silver badge
        Thumb Up

        @TitterYeNot

        And how long did that take you to put together?

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Is there a bag limit?

          Obligatory fishy puns.

          (youtube.com/watch?v=UhdONBHWOUQ)

        2. TitterYeNot
          Coat

          "And how long did that take you to put together?"

          Not long to think it up, it's the whiting it down that takes ages...

          <Coughs apologetically>

          1. John Brown (no body) Silver badge

            "Not long to think it up, it's the whiting it down that takes ages.."

            Oh my Cod! Stop basking in your own glory.

            1. Anonymous Coward
              Anonymous Coward

              Don't get crabby with the fella, I'm sure he knows his plaice

      3. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        "Ouch!"

        Indeed, I bait that made him flounder, but he doesn't seem to carping on about it too much. I wouldn't swap plaices with him though.

        Having said that, maybe he shouldn't have been quite so koi when shouting at the angler, who must have been reely hard-of-herring. The only ray of light I can see in this dory is that the barb got his rod instead of his pollocks - that would really require the attentions of a sturgeon...

        TFTFY

      4. StillBill
      5. dmacleo

        well done.you got me hook line and sinker there.

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Ouch!

      Understatement of the year.

    3. mosw

      If he had just stayed where he was they could have sent four skin divers to remove it.

  2. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    "Herbert Fendt"

    Isn't Fendt a nickname for a little boy? Is this in reference to his worm?

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      "Isn't Fendt a nickname for a little boy? "

      Maybe it's the German equivalent of the English "John Thomas"?

      Robert Heinlein's use of that name recursively in "The Star Beast" (1954) allowed him to have a closing joke - that the long-lived alien princess's hobby "had been raising several generations of John Thomases".

      https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Star_Beast

    2. allthecoolshortnamesweretaken Silver badge

      "Isn't Fendt a nickname for a little boy?"

      No.

  3. Ralph B

    It could have been worse ...

    ... later that day at the nudist BBQ ...

    1. Dan 55 Silver badge
      Coat

      Re: It could have been wurst ...

      TFTFY.

  4. ZedThePirate

    Tips and corrections

    hehehehehe

  5. Dead Parrot

    "cycled home before he drove to the hospital"...?

    Sir,

    It has come to my attention that you have at least three testicles.

    Please excuse me while I worship you.

    Kind Regards,

    Dead Parrot

    1. Marvin the Martian

      Re: "cycled home before he drove to the hospital"...?

      Leave it to two Germans to start a general discussion of the finer legal details of open air recreation regulation, while both are holding their rods (one bleeding. the other attached by wire to the first).

      Speaking of getting back on your bike, I was more impressed by the English cyclist in series 3 ep 2 of "an hour to save your life" on iplayer --- faceplant in a cattle grid on a solo winter ride over the Pennines, lose a handful of teeth (but not swallow any), cycle a few miles to nearest pub to ask for the air ambulance, be quite relaxed about it all throughout, then a few hours later have a massive stroke as oh, actually, in the initial crash an artery in your neck was slashed and a clot came loose...

  6. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Beware of the fish too

    From a news article in 2013 - "Denmark Warns Citizens of Testicle-Biting Fish in Coastal Waters"

    http://heavy.com/news/2013/08/denmark-warns-citizens-of-testicle-biting-fish-in-coastal-waters/

  7. Bumpy Cat

    You caught one how big?!

    You should have seen the one that got away!

    Etc, etc.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: You caught one how big?!

      It was only a tiddler, I threw it back...

      1. Marketing Hack Silver badge

        Re: You caught one how big?!

        Well, to be fair, in this case what the fisherman caught really was larger before he put it in the ice chest.

  8. Warm Braw Silver badge

    I've heard of genitalia being caught in flies before, but this is certainly a new variant...

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      "I've heard of genitalia being caught in flies before, but this is certainly a new variant..."

      Ah - the angler was fly fishing.

  9. Sgt_Oddball Silver badge
    Coat

    Hook, line and.....

    In fairness a fishing hook would probably go through swimming trunks fairly easily too.

    Also won't the cycling make matters würst?

    Mines the one with the angling times..

  10. chivo243 Silver badge
    Facepalm

    Only in Bootnotes!

    This one makes my eyes water, and my Johnny shrivel!

  11. Colin 27
    Joke

    Maybe....

    he was wearing a cod piece?

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Maybe....

      While sat on a perch.

  12. John Lilburne Silver badge

    Pics ...

    ... or it didn't happen.

  13. Anonymous Coward
    Coffee/keyboard

    tackle on tackle action

    Ah, I've missed this place......

    1. P. Lee Silver badge

      Re: tackle on tackle action

      Ah, I've missed this placeplaice......

      FTFY

  14. Geronimo!

    Isn't Fendt a nickname for a little boy?

    Nope,

    I am quite sure it isn't. You might be referring to the Dutch "vent", which indeed would be meaning "young man". That would not work though, the best bet would be to use "ventje" (Little boy).

    As written: He used "Fendt" as a nickname to spare himself and his family the blame. Fendt is widely known in Germany though: As a manufacturer of agricultural machines ... as in "John Deere".

    So maybe he did think about his nickname and the size of his todger? (Well, that's how men are, innit: They always seem bigger than they really are...)

  15. ravenviz
    Unhappy

    Angry Anglers on The Cut

    "the fisherman wasn't sympathetic to his plight"

    I often used to paddle (kayak) on the Grand Union Canal, anglers would sit on one bank with their float right over the other side, then to hurl abuse at kayakers as they passed, as if they should otherwise wait until the fisherman had finished for the day.

    I'm sure that's not the case for any anglers on this forum though! ;)

  16. P. Lee Silver badge

    not an official bathing lake

    How very German. How very germane.

  17. Schlimnitz
    Facepalm

    Yikes, as a youngster I got a fish hook in my foot when scrambling on rocks at a beach. Not fun. Can't imagine what it would be like 'there'...

  18. John 110
    IT Angle

    Just in case anyone needs to know...

    The preferred removal method is to snip off the barb (from the hook, missus!) and push the thing back through (still the hook)

    1. Seajay#

      Re: Just in case anyone needs to know...

      That's all fine so long as the barb is sticking out. If it's embedded then you're going to need to push it further through first so that you can get to the barb, ouch. My preferred method would be to get a load of local anaesthetic in there and maybe take a swig of rum before biting down on something and letting a doctor sort it out. If that means cycling very carefully to the hospital, fine.

  19. leaway2

    Just leave the hook in and pass it off as a piercing.

  20. tiggity Silver badge

    Prince Albert (Herring)

    On the bright side: Saved the cost of getting a Prince Albert piercing done at a piercing studio.

  21. Baldy50

    Did he reel him in?

    Oh! that's just the wurst.

  22. AndrueC Silver badge
    Facepalm

    Initially the man thought he’d caught his todger on some weeds in the lake - a popular spot for fisherman and nudists

    I initially mis-read that as '..a popular sport..'.

  23. Ripper38
    Coat

    IT angle?

    Scandalous Daily Fail clickbait... wait. This is El Reg, right? Ok, carry on that man. By the way. What is the IT angle ? Phishing ?

    1. GrumpenKraut Silver badge
      Coat

      Re: IT angle?

      > What is the IT angle?

      Nope, the fact that women are shockingly underrepresented in the penis injury stats. Mine is the one with "Sexistenschwein!!!" scrawled on the back.

  24. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Let's be honest

    Did anyone else's todger retract all the way into their groin (and then some) as they read this? Yikes! This is WAY worse than the fishhook scene in "There's Something About Mary." MAYBE it's on a par with the zipper scene...

    But on a more serious note, the ISO clearly needs to come out with a new universally recognizable graphical sign warning nude bathers of this specific danger. And one for testicle-munching pacu, too. And one for the candiru. In fact, what have those goldbrickers at ISO been up to lately, while innocent todgers are beset with perils on all sides?

  25. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    I know his pain

    I had a biking accident where the seat broke loose while I was braking, causing me to grab the brakes instinctively which pitched me over the front. Not really sure how it happened but a couple of spokes had broken and one stabbed me in the scrotum through my shorts. Luckily not too much blood and no obvious damage to the valuables inside. I had to cycle home over 10km standing on my bike the entire way due to the broken seat, and from there drove to the emergency room. I was stitched up after an ultrasound revealed no serious damage had been done. Still have a scar if I look hard enough.

  26. JeffyPoooh Silver badge
    Pint

    Speaking of Germans...

    Have you seen the German (subtitles) movie "Look Who's Back" ?

    It's OMG-funny.

  27. Bitbeisser

    "Swim at your own risk", Well, "Ab ist ab" as we would say back in Germany...

    1. allthecoolshortnamesweretaken Silver badge

      "Lieber arm dran als Bein ab", as my mate Marcus used to say.

  28. Jerry G.

    Swimming in a Fishing Lake!

    WTF... How does someone choose to swim in a lake belonging to a fishing club and expect to not have a mishap???!!! This man most likely has less brains than the fish being caught in the lake!

    I would like to see that guy try nude swimming in the fishing lakes up in Northern Canada that are full of Great Northern Pike. He would have a much bigger problem than getting a fish hook stuck in to a critical place! He would be running out of the water with maybe some pieces of skin missing.

    You can fix a lot of things with a hammer, but with a hammer no matter how many times you pound it down you cannot fix stupidity!

  29. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    I wish...

    ... if only it had happened in GB and the victim had chosen the false name J R Hartley :)

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