back to article My headset is reading my mind and talking behind my back

It only takes a minute to capture a 3D model of my orifices. They tell me it’s the only way I can be sure of a tight fit. Perhaps I could order a hologram of my 3D orifices that I can hang on my living room wall. It would make a nice conversation piece for visitors to admire. "Isn’t it creepy how my orifices seem to follow …

  1. Dr_N Silver badge

    Fat-Burning Hats

    You are onto a winner.

    I smell a Kickstarter ....

    1. Ben Bonsall

      Re: Fat-Burning Hats

      Shouldn't be too hard- you burn a lot of energy regulating your temperature, and the head is one of the places that looses most heat, so shave the head, mount a refrigeration unit in the hat, and Bingo, weight loss.

      Also, a big heavy hat will mean you burn more energy carrying it around and strengthen core muscles trying to stay upright with a fridge on the head.

      The deluxe model can have a couple of slots to insert beers, for relaxing after a heavy hat wearing session.

      You could even recover some energy with a peliter effect layer between the scalp and the refrigeration unit, and potentially combine it with one of those neoprene belts, redirecting the extracted heat into the belly where it can raise the core temperature, requiring more heat loss through the head.

      Perpetual motion, until you run out of fat. Or collapse under the weight. Whichever.

      1. Peter2 Silver badge

        Re: Fat-Burning Hats

        "Shouldn't be too hard- you burn a lot of energy regulating your temperature, and the head is one of the places that looses most heat"

        When I did my D of E some years (!) ago some smartass made a comment about the amount of heat lost through the head, and the (ex miltary) instructor testily pointed out that this particular nugget of wisdom comes from arctic enviroment studies where the outside tempreture is in negative numbers and the person is wearing an inch thick insulation everywhere else on the body other than the head.

        He suggested that this might not be quite so correct in the UK.

        1. Ben Bonsall

          Re: Fat-Burning Hats

          Then it's probably best that the hat comes with a big furry jacket to optimize performance... (optional extra, POA.)

        2. I ain't Spartacus Gold badge
          Happy

          Re: Fat-Burning Hats

          this particular nugget of wisdom comes from arctic enviroment studies where the outside tempreture is in negative numbers and the person is wearing an inch thick insulation everywhere else on the body other than the head.

          He suggested that this might not be quite so correct in the UK.

          Well... Except Skegness...

          1. IsJustabloke Silver badge
            Happy

            Re: Fat-Burning Hats

            "Well... Except Skegness..."

            Since noone has ever admitted to visiting "Skeg Vegas" I believe the place to be a myth but your point is probably well made.

            1. John Crisp

              Re: Fat-Burning Hats

              "Since noone has ever admitted to visiting "Skeg Vegas" I believe the place to be a myth but your point is probably well made."

              No, no.... it really exists. But you need a DeLorean and a dead actor pretending to be a mad scientist to help you get there.

              And believe me, it isn't worth the effort :-)

              Me, I'm just a lawnmower. You can tell it from the way I walk.....

              1. David 132 Silver badge

                Re: Fat-Burning Hats

                But you need a DeLorean and a dead actor pretending to be a mad scientist

                Christopher Lloyd is still very much alive, at least according to IMDB.

                Or has some subtlety of your comment gone "whoosh!" over my head?

                1. Anonymous Coward
                  Anonymous Coward

                  Fat-Burning Shoes

                  They are magic and all someone has to do is put them on and walk a measly 2 iteru every morning and the fat just burns right off. No change in diet or other exercise required.

      2. CrazyOldCatMan Silver badge

        Re: Fat-Burning Hats

        > head is one of the places that looses most heat

        Err - no. It's an Urbane Miff (I have one of those at home - when she is annoyed with me she's still polite..).

        1. hplasm Silver badge
          Happy

          Re: Fat-Burning Hats

          "Well... Except Skegness..."

          But...its so bracing!

          1. Ledswinger Silver badge

            Re: Fat-Burning Hats

            But...its so bracing!

            Wow. Seems you're as old as me, and have been subject to the same malign influences of postery, and potentially train-spottery.

            If we did that to our kids we'd be locked up.

      3. Solmyr ibn Wali Barad

        Re: Fat-Burning Hats

        "you burn a lot of energy regulating your temperature"

        Blimey. Cold beer is a diet product. Cheers to that!

    2. earl grey Silver badge
      Facepalm

      Re: Fat-Burning Hats

      I smell a Kickstarter ....

      Well, i smell something and i think it's on the sole of my shoe.

  2. Chronos Silver badge
    Thumb Up

    Wear-a-bubble

    Dabbsy, you cynical bastard. That could have been me saying all that, although not nearly so eloquently.

    I must confess to having purchased a sleep mask with very thin speakers in it to listen to binaural recordings while sleeping. This is the very first set of "cans" that don't make my lugholes either sweat or ache after ten minutes. These are connected to a bluetooth dongly thing which is fed audio from a 'droid tablet getting its files and playlists from my DLNA server. All very modern, new-age and plug'n'pray, except it's not as getting it to this stage was an experiment in self-inflicted alopecia and you can't use them as normal cans because you can't see. They also make you look a bit of a prat but, at night time when the general public don't have to put up with you, that's fine.

    That's it for wearables for me. If I ever feel the need to record a 5 mile whatever it was euphemism you invented I'll be past the point of self-respect anyway...

    1. Bob Rocket

      Re: Wear-a-Hypno-bubble

      You are aware that those sleep cans detect when you are asleep and most suggestible, they play quiet suggestions to you such as

      'you may like these products based on your purchase history - Sleep Cans .....'

      1. Chronos Silver badge

        Re: Wear-a-Hypno-bubble

        That's a bit too recursive for me, although it may explain why I keep getting a nagging urge for a circular scabby rat in a bun, AKA Burgerdonalds. One that I resist, of course. I'm wide enough.

  3. Denarius Silver badge
    Flame

    sunnies after dark ?

    becoming regrettably necessary now every ponce in a Toorak Tractor/Chelsea Combine has 5KW xenon plasma night light arc welder for head lights setting fire to trees 500 yards away. Not being night blind like most other drivers being blinded by fools with dimmed lights is bad enough, but some of the drunks driving these aftermarket equipped dangers are so visually incompetent they don't dip their lights either, then get annoyed and try ramming speed if headlights flashed at them. Safer to wear yellow filters.

    1. Alister Silver badge

      Re: sunnies after dark ?

      For me, in a rural area, it's not so much oncoming cars / suvs which are the problem, it's the oncoming nitwit cyclists using strobing white front lamps after dark which just remove all possibility of seeing anything other than their light, and a glowing after image where my retinas have begun to char.

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: sunnies after dark ?

      sunnies after dark becoming regrettably necessary now every ponce in a Toorak Tractor/Chelsea Combine has 5KW xenon plasma night light arc welder for head lights setting fire to trees 500 yards away.

      OK, so you're advocating that you ought to screw up your night vision for the entire journey in case some idiot with misaligned lights comes your way? Having a pair of light sunglasses handy may be a better plan.

      About the only vision-augmenting tool you should wear at night is clear glasses with anti-reflection coating, and make sure you keep them clean (I find ordinary soap and water + drying cloth to work better and safer than the tissue things they sell). If you already need glasses anyway, AR coating is good to have anyway for a whole lot of reasons.

      The yellow tint thing does work, by the way, but only by daylight. Yellow tint + polarisation is, for instance, very effective at giving you more visibility in rain (especially if you're in the habit of keeping the inside of your windshield clean). Add to that a good quality rain repellent nano-coating of the windshield and you'll have to remind yourself at occasions that (a) others don't quite see so well at that time and (b) that being able to see well doesn't mean the physics of limited wet road adhesion have changed too..

      1. I ain't Spartacus Gold badge
        Happy

        Re: sunnies after dark ?

        Surely the solution to the nighttime oncoming beams of Hades - or BMW Laser Lights [TM], as I believe they're better known - is obvious.

        Just get yourself a pair of Joo Janta peril sensitive sunglasses. You too can look as cool as President Zaphod Beeblebrox - and will also be spared the retina-burning sight of your impending death by Beemer.

        1. CrazyOldCatMan Silver badge

          Re: sunnies after dark ?

          > Just get yourself a pair of Joo Janta peril sensitive sunglasses.

          Personally, I'd rather have a decent laser that I can use to burn out the oncoming Lights Of Doom(tm). And write something suitably scathing on the paintwork of the oncoming car too.

          Combined with a focussed-EMP device to blow up the sound system of the car that drives round near my house with some dance crap at 5KW.

          Why yes, I am old and crabby. Why do you ask?

          1. Fred Flintstone Gold badge

            Re: sunnies after dark ?

            Combined with a focussed-EMP device to blow up the sound system of the car that drives round near my house with some dance crap at 5KW.

            May you receive a thousand upvotes..

            1. This post has been deleted by its author

          2. short

            Re: sunnies after dark ? - Reflective sun visors

            I have an absurd amount of 3M's finest retroreflective fabric and a penchant for low cars.

            This winter, I shall be covering my sun visors in the stuff and flipping them down when attacked by lights-o-death. A quick trial last year showed they were very effective, and if it wakes up just a few of these oblivious wankers, I'm happy.

            Whether or not I trim the fabric into rude words remains to be seen.

          3. David 132 Silver badge

            Re: sunnies after dark ?

            Combined with a focussed-EMP device to blow up the sound system of the car that drives round near my house with some dance crap at 5KW.

            I refer the Hon. Gentleman to the obligatory XKCD, with a cleverer solution to this problem.

      2. grumpyoldeyore
        Unhappy

        Re: sunnies after dark ? @AC

        My commute takes me over the undulating road round Windsor Great Park. Correctly aligned or not a Range Rover/ BMWX5/Whatever (and there are loads round there) on a crest coming the other way is straight into the eyballs. The worst aligned headlights, conversly, appear to be on MINIs (Kraut Krap ones, not Austin/Morris/BMC/BL ) which can blind even when they are coming down the opposing down slope.

      3. Doctor Syntax Silver badge

        Re: sunnies after dark ?

        "AR coating is good to have anyway for a whole lot of reasons."

        The only AR coated pair I had a soft focus effect. On close examination the coating was finely granulated. I've gone back to uncoated.

    3. quxinot

      Re: sunnies after dark ?

      Plus a thousand. While headlights are a great solution for the answer of "seeing where you're going while driving at night", it seems that a depressing number of people do not understand that aiming them directly into the eyes of oncoming traffic may prove less safe than driving with them off.

      Short of wearing sunglasses at night, I've not come up with a solution for this. Well, not a socially acceptable one that doesn't involve taking a crowbar to the headlights of other people's cars, or in extreme cases to the drivers.

      I did find that window tint is helpful on one's rearview (side or wing) mirrors. Just remember to go about half as dark as you'd think necessary, being a mirror the light goes through the film twice, of course.

      1. an it guy

        Re: sunnies after dark ?

        okay, cyclist here who's used yellow tinted sunglasses after dark. I know the physics mean less light, but having used them, they're seriously effective in the (almost) dark of cities, and very good when it comes to arc welders headlights, and being able to see. everything appears clearer even though the total energy of photons is less

        might look a bit odd, but they do work

      2. Missing Semicolon Silver badge
        Thumb Up

        Re: sunnies after dark ?

        @quxinot. I used to have a Chrysler Grand Voyager Limited. The other feature aside from the ludicrous 3 litre V6 petrol engine that drank fuel at USA'an rates, was a rear-view mirror with a photo sensor that automagically dimmed an LCD layer over the mirror when lights behind me were too bright.

        Only noticed it when I swapped the car for a lesser-specified diesel one.

        Sigh.

        1. Doctor Syntax Silver badge

          Re: sunnies after dark ?

          "a rear-view mirror with a photo sensor that automagically dimmed an LCD layer over the mirror when lights behind me were too bright."

          I have one. It only works so-so. I'd rather have a dipping lever as on all the other car's I've had.

    4. CrazyOldCatMan Silver badge

      Re: sunnies after dark ?

      I wish I could upvote you more than once..

    5. allthecoolshortnamesweretaken Silver badge

      Re: sunnies after dark ?

      You just gave me a flashback to my mid-teen years.

    6. Doctor Syntax Silver badge

      Re: sunnies after dark ?

      I'm in favour of covering the front and rear windows surrounds with corner-cube reflectors so that the offenders get a little of their own back.

  4. magickmark
    Boffin

    Sunglasses After Dark

    "To this day, I fail to comprehend how anyone could be convinced that wearing sunglasses after dark helps you see better. All it does is make you look cool, as already famously demonstrated by the Blues Brothers a decade earlier."

    Actually, Dabbsy, the problem was recorded a few decades earlier in 1958 as evidenced on YouTube here:

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S07rl68DMD8

    Enjoy!!

    1. Fred Flintstone Gold badge

      Re: Sunglasses After Dark

      I like it :).

      I reckon people that wear sunglasses after dark must be easy to identify, by the bruising..

      1. magickmark

        Re: Sunglasses After Dark

        Ahh but they really look sharp!

    2. David 132 Silver badge

      Re: Sunglasses After Dark

      Somewhat related: I remember seeing a documentary about Roy Orbison a few years ago, in which he admitted that the reason he always wore sunglasses on stage was that in 1964(?) when supporting the Beatles on a tour in the UK, he realised he'd left his regular glasses on the plane, and the only prescription glasses he had were the tinted ones.

      Judging by the talking heads they interviewed for the documentary, it seems I wasn't the only one who'd always assumed he had weak eyes or some similar affliction!

    3. allthecoolshortnamesweretaken Silver badge

      Re: Sunglasses After Dark

      It does work when you are 106 miles from Chicago.

  5. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    It's not 3D

    But my dad has a picture of his orifice that he shows proudly to his visitors.

    It's hanged in his home office

    1. Alister Silver badge
      Headmaster

      Re: It's not 3D

      It's hanged in his home office

      Hung.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: It's not 3D

        It's hanged in his home office

        Hung.

        Depends on your relationship with the specific orifice..

        :)

      2. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: It's not 3D

        Hung?

        Depends which orifice and how large the picture is.

  6. Michael H.F. Wilkinson Silver badge
    Happy

    Besides, wearables are harmless, right?

    I think the term "mostly harmless" should be used

    Doffs hat (Panama today, it is sunny!!) to the late, great Douglas Adams

    1. allthecoolshortnamesweretaken Silver badge

      Re: Besides, wearables are harmless, right?

      As long as everything is made perfectly safe...

  7. imanidiot Silver badge

    Yellow sunglasses after dark

    Having quite sensitive eyes that don't deal well with bright incoming light driving with yellow specs on after night makes things much more relaxed for me. Without glasses I get tired/strained eyes after about an hour of driving. With yellow sunglasses I see better and don't get the stabbing pain in my eyeballs.

    1. Baudwalk

      Re: Yellow sunglasses after dark

      >>>With yellow sunglasses I see better and don't get the stabbing pain in my eyeballs.<<<

      Particularly when driving a convertible through a bug-swarm.

  8. Mark Dempster

    Yellow 'sunglasses'

    Yellow lenses actually do work, as our eyes perceive greater levels of contrast. They're often used by people shooting in poor light. It's also why we have yellow streetlights (and other countries have yellow headlights).

    Not sure that they can be classed as sunglasses, though.

    1. Anonymous South African Coward Silver badge

      Re: Yellow 'sunglasses'

      Eh? I must see if I can get a clip-on for my glasses - old age and night driving doesn't mix at all.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Yellow 'sunglasses'

        Eh? I must see if I can get a clip-on for my glasses - old age and night driving doesn't mix at all.

        The most frequent issue other than focal problems that becomes a problem at night is developing cataracts - you typically start to experience glare issues around bright lights. Worth having a check.

        1. CrazyOldCatMan Silver badge

          Re: Yellow 'sunglasses'

          > cataracts - you typically start to experience glare issues around bright lights

          Having extreme myopia (-9.5 and -11.5) and using hard gas-permeable contact lenses has the same effect.

          1. allthecoolshortnamesweretaken Silver badge

            Re: Yellow 'sunglasses'

            You are one of the Myoptic Muldoni Boys from Chicago* and I claim my £5.

            L: SPH -4.25 / CYL -1.25 / AX 160

            R: SPH -3.75 / CYL -2.25 / AX 010

            Currently VEO care by Bausch & Lomb. Contacts are much more convenient when wearing a motorcycle helmet. They work really well - only by now old age presbyopia has set in. Which means after swapping my specs for contacts I now need reading glasses for small print when I wear them...

            * Cartoon by Glen Baxter.

    2. Dan 55 Silver badge

      Re: Yellow 'sunglasses'

      If you wear yellow sunglasses, do you have to go the full seventies and dress up like Starsky & Hutch?

      1. Teiwaz Silver badge

        Re: Yellow 'sunglasses'

        If you wear yellow sunglasses, do you have to go the full seventies and dress up like Starsky & Hutch?

        - Brown tint does the seventies look as well (I had a pair in the 90's that prompted occasional ridicule (probably to hide jealousy).

        The small circular frames with yellow tinted lenses (termed 'child molester' glasses by Lister in one episode of Red Dwarf) are more sixties IMO.

        I used to try and dress like Starsky when I was seven (no kid would want to dress like Hutch, all those wool sweaters).

        1. hplasm Silver badge
          Childcatcher

          Re: Yellow 'sunglasses'

          Yellow 70's style sunglasses make you look like Bono.

          Not good....

        2. John Brown (no body) Silver badge

          Re: Yellow 'sunglasses'

          "I used to try and dress like Starsky when I was seven (no kid would want to dress like Hutch, all those wool sweaters)."

          You preferred the wooley cardi instead of a leather jacket? Old before your time?

        3. Doctor Syntax Silver badge

          Re: Yellow 'sunglasses'

          "I had a pair in the 90's that prompted occasional ridicule (probably to hide jealousy)"

          No, just plain ridicule.

    3. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Yellow 'sunglasses'

      Yellow lenses actually do work, as our eyes perceive greater levels of contrast.

      Not quite, as I quoted earlier. That said, I do wonder if there are clear pola-lenses you could buy - they exist in photography so there could be someone offering those for glasses.

      A tint is not so good news as you are already operating mostly one black & white vision in low light conditions (older streetlights have that spectrum because we're most sensitive there and power/visibility ratios are thus better, but LEDs seem to have bettered even that). Countries that used to have yellow headlights did so mostly to prevent the exact glare problems that another commentard mentioned (although badly aligned xenons are rare - they are by law required to be self-levelling but maybe we're dealing with a case of bad and dangerous DIY repair here).

      1. harmjschoonhoven
        Boffin

        Re: Are there clear pola-lenses?

        Nope. Pola-lenses (polarisation filters) will always block one of the two (linear or circular) directions of polarisation. So the transmissing is at most 50% or your pola-glasses are fake.

    4. Darryl

      Re: Yellow 'sunglasses'

      The yellow (amber actually) sodium vapour streetlights were justified by saying that they were easier on the eyes, but mostly they were just easier on the cities' electricity bill than the old greenish mercury vapour ones that they replaced. You can tell, because now that they're starting to install LEDs, they're being sold to the public as giving off more natural white light, allowing things to be seen more clearly, when in reality, they're just saving yet more electricity

    5. Bob Rocket

      Re: Yellow 'sunglasses'

      'also why we have yellow streetlights'

      Had yellow streetlights, our council is busily replacing all of the perfectly good and very effective yellow ones (including posts) for some low energy LED shite ones that have a spot as bright as the sun yet cast dull moonlight onto the road and pavement.

      No streetlights would be better that those.

    6. eldel

      Re: Yellow 'sunglasses'

      As a competition shooter I can readily confirm that in poor light (or indoors) yellow tints on glasses are a good thing. Especially when shooting iron sights (as opposed to optical).

      In the Arizona sunshine however, because you forgot your normal ones which were now 1000 miles away, they generate a headache of quite spectacular intensity. Apparently the latest thing for such conditions is a pale reddish tint (I hesitate to call it pink - but it looks rather like that). Maybe I'll try that.

      1. John Brown (no body) Silver badge
        Happy

        Re: Yellow 'sunglasses'

        "Apparently the latest thing for such conditions is a pale reddish tint (I hesitate to call it pink - but it looks rather like that). Maybe I'll try that."

        You mean rose tinted specs?

    7. Doctor Syntax Silver badge

      Re: Yellow 'sunglasses'

      "t's also why we have yellow streetlights"

      I thought that we mostly used to have yellow street lights because sodium lights were more energy efficient than incandescents.

  9. Anonymous South African Coward Silver badge
    Thumb Up

    ...and another excellent Dabbsy article.

    Keep them coming!

  10. Robert Carnegie Silver badge

    Not "fat-burning" per se

    According to your description, the "fat-burning" glasses are actually "don't-eat-so-much" glasses. Burning off the fat is still up to you.

    I suppose that "make food look a different colour" glasses may affect appetite. Or ones that make the food look bigger or smaller... By all means try this experiment and report back.

    1. Alistair Dabbs

      Re: Not "fat-burning" per se

      It's not my description, it's theirs. Go to their website and see for yourself.

      1. Robert Carnegie Silver badge

        Re: Not "fat-burning" per se

        Wellllllll.

        The fat dimension claims appear (1) to be exclusively "sleeping well" related and (2) to sort of disappear as you read.

        What it actually mainly says:

        Sleep Better, Burn Fat, Get Focused, Feel Energized, Look Cool

        At least 3 of these are things that you could do, not things that the glasses could do. So I think the intention is that you also look cool (one of my exceptions) and you burn fat (the other one). Not what the glasses do (they may look cool just on their own, as well).

        "Burn" is misleading. You will be metabolising - using as body energy fuel - the fat that was kept in your body. That is the reason why your body keeps it, to be used later (apparently). It's only necessary to not eat more calories than your metabolism needs to use. If you do eat more calories then you won't metabolise any of the fat.

        You also can exercise yourself, to metabolise more of your present and past calories. Also, so I'm told, exercise causes muscles to grow, and muscles - aw, heck - muscles "burn" more energy even while you aren't exercising but just sitting around. Except for sitting around watching TV or, ahem, a computer screen, because then most of your body turns off from the neck down.

        Elsewhere, "Five ways to burn fat while you sleep" does not live up to billing.

        http://www.huffingtonpost.co.uk/realbuzzcom/weight-loss-and-sleep_b_3980550.html

        (two require staying awake, three are about eating choices, one is to sleep longer... that is five. I assume that you can bedtime snack while technically already asleep. Here the plan is to snack on magic foods which are said to prevent obesity, one of which is cottage cheese. I think that is a kind of cheese but it doesn't go on a burger.)

        A customer of the amber facewear declares, "These are not your ordinary yellow tint protective lenses." I don't know though, do you think maybe they are?

  11. Novex

    But that’s OK, because repeatedly failing is now supposed to be such a positive thing in tech startup culture that investors rate it more highly than success, profit or ROI.

    I wish. If that were really true, I'd be a billionaire several times over! I've failed more times than I've had hot dinners.

    1. Richard 12 Silver badge

      Trouble cooking?

  12. Teiwaz Silver badge

    The Tint of spectacle

    The only tint in the spectacles of IOT 'entrepreneurs' is rose coloured. It's only a pity the porn industry haven't gotten interested, their motives are pure in comparison to the current hordes of snake oil salemen.

    I'd expect Dabbsy has put himself in the email list for every internet of useless gimmick pedlar out there, hoping for a bit of free marketing and ad space, I can ony think they only skimmed the last article, forgot to remove said rose tinted glasses first or the Ealing comedy style was lost on them.

  13. 404 Silver badge

    Blue lights etc

    Not sure about the blue light keeping you up at night, I get blue displays because the blue light *doesn't* sear my eyeballs in darkness. Back in the eighties in the Army, we went from red to blue lights because it was easier on the eyes at night (19K20), made me a believer.

    For road illumination, I prefer white/white headlights over the regular yellowish headlights - that blue, and now I've been seeing pink, is pretty horrible.

    1. Esme

      Re: Blue lights etc

      Blue light has been shown to trigger a response in the brain that encourages wakefulness, which is why some places have blue lighting, so clientele are less likely to nod off. Birmingham's new library (a thoroughly ghastly edifice IMO) has (or had, when it opened - I haven't been back since) blue lighting so bright I found it painful.

      Since first elarning of the effect of blue light on the body's sleep/wake cycle, I've banned all blue LED's from my bedroom (or applied yellow masking tape if need be) and the results were marked - I've slept much better since.

  14. earl grey Silver badge
    Unhappy

    I (don't) wear my sunglasses at night.

    But i did have the anti-glare coating once upon a time. My eyelashes wore off the inside coating and it looks like the lenses had been through a wire wheel.

  15. Swarthy Silver badge

    The blue light effect doesn't seem to affect me

    I sit in a cubicle with 5+ LED screens and still fall asleep about an hour after lunch.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: The blue light effect doesn't seem to affect me

      >still fall asleep about an hour after lunch.

      Especially when lunch is delivered in pint glasses eh? Nudge, nudge, wink, wink..

      1. Teiwaz Silver badge

        Re: The blue light effect doesn't seem to affect me

        Especially when lunch is delivered in pint glasses eh? Nudge, nudge, wink, wink..

        -- 'photographs, he asked him knowingly, flash, flash, grin grin, wink, wink.'

        Obligatory: 'time is an illusion, lunchtime doubly so'

  16. CrazyOldCatMan Silver badge

    Custom earplugs..

    ..are nothing new - I have a pair that I got at a motorbike exhibition *many* years ago. You went into a small tent-like thing where someone squirted rubber into your ears and let it set.

    Several weeks later a customised set of plugs arrived. I didn't pay extra for the set with earbuds in them..

    Quite useful for wearing to loud prog-metal gigs - takes the volume down without distorting the sound.

    1. David 132 Silver badge
      Coat

      Re: Custom earplugs..

      Quite useful for wearing to loud prog-metal gigs - takes the volume down without distorting the sound.

      But quite useless at a prog-rock gig - the three year warranty would have expired by the time the band were half way through the interminable noodling of their first track :)

    2. allthecoolshortnamesweretaken Silver badge

      Re: Custom earplugs.. / concerts etc

      I still use my army-issue earplugs from 30 years ago for that. Not exactly custom made, but they did have a range of sizes and gave you some that fitted well.

  17. Herby Silver badge

    Sunglasses indoors...

    They are worn for a couple of reasons.

    1) If you have your eyes dilated (in the case of the Blues Brothers) by some chemical enhancements, the brightness of indoor lights (or bright sunlight) can make you almost totally blind from the excessive light overpowering your eye's retina.

    2) If you ARE driving at night, your eyes are dilated from the general absence of light stimuli (it IS dark outside), and you don't want your sorry excuse of eye muscle(s) to take the many minutes to re-adjust to the light levels once exposed to bright light, they can be helpful.

    Yes, some of those headlights are really loud. I remember back in the 70's when I had 100W headlamps for high beam, they really lit up the place. Flashing lights really did work!

    Me? No I don't have any wearables at the moment. I found out that FitBits don't like Hawaiian salt water and will charge, but not really function.

  18. Grunchy

    They demonstrated the power of mind-reading wearable hat in Firefox c.1982, in which Clint Eastwood stole a Russian Mig but was supposed to think in Russian (!) in order to fire the dang missiles.

    Spoiler: after concentrating hard enough, he was able to think in Russian.

  19. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    "11kg so far..."

    I hate you, in metric, English and El Reg units.

  20. Stevie Silver badge

    Bah!

    As late as 1984 people in the IT industry I worked with believed the widely-held-in-England fairy tale that wearing sunglasses relieved hay-fever.

    Total bollocks is never out of fashion, and a decent education is no armour against it.

    1. John Brown (no body) Silver badge

      Re: Bah!

      "As late as 1984 people in the IT industry I worked with believed the widely-held-in-England fairy tale that wearing sunglasses relieved hay-fever."

      But they do seem to help reduce the amount of pollen getting into your eyes when driving. As a hayfever sufferer who drives a LOT, it does make a difference. Especially the years when I'm badly affected.

  21. Fungus Bob Silver badge
    Boffin

    Actually, Dabbsey hasn't lost a bit of weight

    Kilograms is mass, pounds is weight. Big differnce.

    1. harmjschoonhoven
      Boffin

      @Fungus Bob

      Kilograms is mass, Newtons is weight. FTFY.

      1. John Brown (no body) Silver badge
        Mushroom

        Re: @Fungus Bob

        "Newtons is weight. FTFY."

        You callin' Sir Isaac fat?

      2. Fungus Bob Silver badge

        Re: @Fungus Bob

        "Newtons is weight."

        There's only two kinds of Newtons - Wayne and Juice.

    2. Alistair Dabbs

      Re: Actually, Dabbsey hasn't lost a bit of weight

      Would you rather I reported my progressive fat loss in terms of specific density?

      1. Neil Barnes Silver badge
        Boffin

        Re: Actually, Dabbsey hasn't lost a bit of weight

        Subtle...

      2. This post has been deleted by its author

  22. H in The Hague Silver badge

    Yellow glasses

    "To this day, I fail to comprehend how anyone could be convinced that wearing sunglasses after dark helps you see better."

    As far as I'm aware, blue light is scattered more by fog, etc. than other colours of light. So by cutting out blue light (yellow glasses) or not emitting blue light (monochromatic low pressure sodium vapour lighting) you reduce the amount of scattered light and therefore improve visibility.

    Years ago I tried the yellow glasses (5 quid yellow safety glasses) in light fog and they were reasonably effective. Don't remember them helping much in low light levels though. Time for another experiment.

    And wishing all Commentards a good weekend.

  23. grumpyoldeyore
    Coat

    3D - printing your Orifices is so last week...

    The real advance aill be a squad of nano-bots, which will correctly position the headphones, mould them in real time, and operate the balance deck to maintain the optimum sound. The mind reading will be an illusion, as nano-bot scouts will be recording you actions and reporting back, thereby giving the illusion of mind reading.

    Mines the very small one with the Pitman shorthand pad in the pocket....

  24. allthecoolshortnamesweretaken Silver badge

    For what it's worth: Amber/ Yellow and brown-tinted spectacles were a common item for people with suffering from syphilis in the late 19th and 20th centuries as light sensitivity was a symptoms of this disease.

    Interesting piece on this and other aspects of sunglasses on Racked here.

    1. GrumpenKraut Silver badge
      Pint

      > ...common item for people with suffering from syphilis...

      Learning stuff by Reg comments, nice.

      Photo of Dabbsy with two sets of glasses: "knuddelig" says SWMBO.

      Have a lovely Sunday, everybody! -------- drinkentime --------->

  25. Disk0

    Fat-shaming ear gadgets

    What will they think of next? Judgmental walking canes that tell you to hurry up and die already to make room for some more millennials? Condescending handbags that tut at passersby who aren't fully colour coordinated? Or how about smarmy smart car keys telling you to leave the pub because you've had quite enough, and your ability to navigate towards the residence seems to be impaired already? Or E-cigarrettes with built in deathclock, telling you with each vape how much you have shortened your life, popular with the goth crowd I bet. Or my favourite pipe dream, smart underpants that fill in restaurant reviews for you with a detailed breakdown of the chemical composition of the food - such as the high sulphur content of those onion bhajis you took out yesterday...

    The mind boggles at the endless possibilities, testament to how we as humanity are only just getting started on the path to ultimate decadence and machine dependency!

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