back to article Cops break up German sausage fight between pair of Neubrandenburgers

German police were called to an outbreak of sausage-related violence this week, after a man used a mega wurst to inflict serious damage on a BMW. According to a police report, a parking dispute between two men in the town of Neubrandenburg Oststadt quickly descended into threats and insults, then a shoving match. Things …

  1. jglathe
    Thumb Up

    That's where I grew up

    No BMWs there at the time, though.

    1. NoneSuch
      Happy

      Scoundrels salacious sausage savagery scuffs shine?

    2. allthecoolshortnamesweretaken Silver badge

      Re: That's where I grew up

      Did anyone ever smash up a Trabant with a Blockworst frm the local HO?

      BTW, how about EMWs?

  2. Arthur the cat Silver badge

    I'm reminded of the episode of The Goodies that had the Lancastrian martial art of Ecky Thump.

    (For anyone not nearing retirement age, it consisted of hitting people with Black Puddings.)

    1. AndrueC Silver badge
      Happy

      (For anyone not nearing retirement age, it consisted of hitting people with Black Puddings.)

      And tomato-shape ketchup containers are no defence if I remember correctly :)

      1. Paul Crawford Silver badge

        "tomato-shape ketchup containers"

        That was the Bunfight at the O.K. Tea Rooms:

        https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7bu69cnv0iU

        1. AndrueC Silver badge
          Thumb Up

          Re: "tomato-shape ketchup containers"

          That was the Bunfight at the O.K. Tea Rooms:

          Ah! Well I was barely into my teens when the Goodies were on. Not too surprising if the memories are a bit faded :)

          Thanks for the YouTube clip - hilarious

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      There was also 'The Dreaded Batter-Pudding Hurler (of Bexhill-on-Sea)' by the Goons.

      1. Helldesk Dogsbody

        @Ivan 4

        Yes but there's no mention of a portable gas stove so it can't be him.

    3. Kernel
      Thumb Up

      Have a thumbs up on me

      "I'm reminded of the episode of The Goodies that had the Lancastrian martial art of Ecky Thump."

      For reminding me of that episode.

      Loved the Goodies - another episode that I remember is when one of them was using capons on his climbing boots - they appeared to be much more effective than the crampons the others were using.

      (Yes, I'll plead guilty to nearing retirement age)

  3. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    The wurst part was the car wasn't a banger

    1. bobsmith2016

      Go to your room!! And don't come back until you've had a good think about what you've just said.

  4. Captain Scarlet Silver badge
    Paris Hilton

    Allo Allo

    I wonder if that's the sausage with the picture of the Madonna with the big jugs in it.

    1. Midnight

      Re: Allo Allo

      As any student of art history knows, that's "The Fallen Madonna with the Big Boobies" by van Klomp, which may or may not be within Herr Flick's sausage.

      1. Captain Scarlet Silver badge

        Re: Allo Allo

        Thanks for the correction (I really should have Googled it, although I did deliberately say Jugs)

    2. Blank-Reg
      Thumb Up

      Re: Allo Allo

      I was wondering if we'd see a mention of the nicked knockwurst...

  5. ravenviz
    Coffee/keyboard

    Taking buffet food home

    This is a tricky one, what with food waste as it is these days, I often want to do the same, not because of penny pinching but to prevent the waste.

    I invariably take a late lunch at our office canteen and often see a lot left over that goes in the bin. If I actually wanted it to take home I'd have to buy it.

    Something's definitely not right with this!

  6. AndrueC Silver badge
    Joke

    the 49-year-old may face charges of property damage.

    Quite right too. That's no way to treat a valuable item. The sausage might have got badly bruised.

  7. cbars

    A parking dispute?

    So they were both trying to dock their penis extensions in the same spot and the only way to resolve the dispute was to actually compare sausages, and have a meat fight.

    Brilliant.

  8. frank ly Silver badge

    Choose wisely

    "... it was a metal clip on the sausage that caused the actual damage, "

    I find that a smooth, close fitting metal ring around my sausage is very effective and doesn't cause any damage or discomfort to anyone involved.

  9. paulf Silver badge
    Coat

    The sausages were massive

    "...Kochwurst, some of which can reach monstrous proportions."

  10. Anonymous Coward
    Facepalm

    What, Wait... back up...

    "now face charges of verbal abuse" - Seriously?!!

    1. Vinyl-Junkie

      Re: What, Wait... back up...

      Why not - it's an offence in this country (under the Public Order Act), so why not in Germany?

    2. GrumpenKraut Silver badge

      Re: What, Wait... back up...

      > "now face charges of verbal abuse" - Seriously?!!

      He may have insulted The Wurst, a serious crime around here.

      1. allthecoolshortnamesweretaken Silver badge

        Re: What, Wait... back up...

        "Wurst!"

        "Selber!"

  11. jjk

    Ecky Thump

    Be careful when you look that up. This caused one of the rare documented cases where somebody died of laughing.

  12. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    It's good job he didn't break the indicator.

    1. allthecoolshortnamesweretaken Silver badge

      It's a Beemer, how can you tell the difference?

      1. Oengus Silver badge

        Beemer indicators are rarely broken (they are hardly ever used so mostly like new even on really old Beemers). It is the drivers who don't know what they are used for...

        1. Vinyl-Junkie
          Coat

          Re: "It is the drivers who don't know what they are used for..."

          The standing joke used to be:

          Q: "How do you tell the unmarked police cars on the M25?"

          A: "They're the only BMWs that indicate!"

  13. Baldy50

    Now if it were leberkase or a Styrofoam tray of bratkartoffeln there would have been no damage apart from a greasy smear. Choose your food weapon carefully. Nearly broke a tooth on one of those metal bloody clips once, could have choked!

    Good job it wasn't Switzerland, they’re nearly always packing!

    Never understood whilst living there, Ze Germans (in the voice of Jason Stathom) trying to get on a crowded zug before anyone had a chance to get off and just slowed the whole process down, made a bit of a mockery of the trains always being on time IMO.

    The concept of queuing, no!!! Not even going to go there!

    ich liebe dich, Mein Bester Feind.

    Glühwein, Awesome! Andechs Monastery also awesome too.

    1. Fortycoats

      Yep, Germans are particularly rubbish letting people off public transport. My young daughter once got stuck on a tram because some old biddy barged through the door getting on without letting anyone else off. By the time my daughter could get back to the door it had closed and the tram drove on. Luckily the next stop wasn't that far away and no harm done. But still, how rude!

  14. Paul Crawford Silver badge
    Paris Hilton

    NRA angle?

    Has no one said yet that if you prise our sausages from our cold dead hands then only the bad guys will have sausages?

    Paris, as she is allegedly fond of some good sausage =>

  15. lawndart

    "1cm wide dent on the rear right door."

    Write off.

  16. Albert Hall

    Thank goodness, the wurst is over!

    See title. Ta.

  17. Stevie Silver badge

    Bah!

    Sausage time!

  18. magickmark
    Paris Hilton

    German Sausage

    My ex-girlfriend always said you cannot beat a good bit of German sausage. Problem was I am British :(

POST COMMENT House rules

Not a member of The Register? Create a new account here.

  • Enter your comment

  • Add an icon

Anonymous cowards cannot choose their icon

Biting the hand that feeds IT © 1998–2019