back to article When Capita job ads go BAD

Thanks to an eagle-eyed reader who chanced upon the latest job ad for a network technical architect at everyone’s favourite public sector parasite Capita - we enjoyed the irony too. The integrator, often referred to as Crapita by Private Eye, listed the location of the vacancy in the “rapidly expanding team” as Hertfordshite. …

  1. Chika

    Hertfordshite?!?

    Crapita indeed! I was exchanging tweets only yesterday about how easy it is to hit the adjacent key in a hurry or even to miss a key. Don't they have any poofreaders there?

    1. lansalot

      Re: Hertfordshite?!?

      Ah.. I saw what you did !!

    2. I ain't Spartacus Gold badge

      Re: Hertfordshite?!?

      My mobile phone punishes me for swearing in texts. Because I have dared to use a few strong words at times, it now tries to select them in predictive text, whenever I'm not looking too closely.

      Actually I've noticed that a lot with predictive text. When I've got my reading glasses on, it's as good as gold. When I'm in a hurry, and just trying to get a message out like "does 7 o'clock suit you?", it goes all sweary on me. I'd hope that 7 o'clock doesn't shit anyone, but sadly it's a question I've accidentally asked...

      1. Mephistro Silver badge
        Coat

        Re: Hertfordshite?!?

        "...7 o'clock doesn't shit anyone..."

        Surely you meant 7 o'cock?

    3. J. R. Hartley Silver badge

      Re: Hertfordshite?!?

      Wonder do they have an office in S****horpe?

      1. PNGuinn
        Coat

        Re: Hertfordshite?!?

        Shitehorpe??

      2. ricardian

        Re: Hertfordshite?!?

        Or an office in Penistone?

    4. Terry 6 Silver badge

      Re: Hertfordshite?!? Proof reading.

      Well, since Crapita specialise in providing the minimum possible outsourced service for the maximum profit I'd guess that they don't spend much on their internal staffing either.

    5. Bob Vistakin
      Happy

      Re: Hertfordshite?!?

      Driving through Lancashire recently the Sat Nav merrily proclaimed in an American accent to head for Clit Hero. Gosh, that place sounds fun - shame I'm a bloke and couldn't find it. My mate reckons its somewhere near the middle of Scunthorpe, but he's no expert either.

      1. Commswonk Silver badge

        Re: Hertfordshite?!?

        Driving through Lancashire recently the Sat Nav merrily proclaimed in an American accent to head for Clit Hero.

        Well I think you made that up, which is why I have given it a well - deserved up - vote. Pity it's a weekend 'cos I think it would have got a lot more otherwise.

        1. Bob Vistakin

          Re: Hertfordshite?!?

          I didn't make it up! Galaxy S7, Google Maps, sat nav mode, default female voice, US locale. Clearly pronounced as the two separate words. Around Christmas thinking about it.

          It's just so good I wish I was smart enough to make that one up.

          1. Commswonk Silver badge

            Re: Hertfordshite?!?

            Well if you're ever near the place again I would make a detour to the town centre; there is a butcher that sells some superb sausages made on the premises.

            And please don't go looking for a double entendre in the above because if there is one it was unintentional.

          2. Mephistro Silver badge
            Angel

            Re: Hertfordshite?!? (@ Bob Vistakin)

            Hmmmhhh...

          3. FatGerman

            Re: Hertfordshite?!?

            Google maps also had a Mac Clesfield in Cheshire at one point.

          4. Paul Woodhouse

            Re: Hertfordshite?!?

            Should have visited, Clit-hero as its also known locally is an interesting little place, great coffee shop in and a couple of nice pubs... its really really strange on a friday night when you see them pushing wack off great speakers and strobe lights into these really pretty old style high street pubs.

  2. Oor Nonny-Muss
    Coat

    Did they mean Herefordshite? :D

    1. Richard Jones 1

      Or Hurt-ford-shire/shite, delete as needed.

  3. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Needs to be saved for posteriority...

    I trust it's been archived?

    1. davidp231

      Re: Needs to be saved for posteriority...

      Nope.. as of 14:29 it's still there for all to see.

      1. Simon Ward

        Re: Needs to be saved for posteriority...

        It sho'nuff is ... and I got a screengrab, just to make sure :)

      2. ChunkyMonkey

        Re: Needs to be saved for posteriority...

        The job advert is no longer accepting applications, so many must want to work in Hertfordshite.

        The house prices must be low

        1. Linker3000

          Re: Needs to be saved for posteriority...

          "The house prices must be low"

          Rock bottom, I hear.

        2. Mark 85 Silver badge
          Coat

          Re: Needs to be saved for posteriority...

          so many must want to work in Hertfordshite.

          Then the applicants have finally figured this is 'truth in advertising'?

      3. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Needs to be saved for posteriority...

        posted 7 days ago, must be some kind of record. Those Capita HR people are clearly very talented

  4. hopkinse
    FAIL

    Continuing the posterior-related theme....

    "The integrator, often referred to as Capita by Private Eye,..."

    Think you've got this arse about tit: it was Private Eye who coined Crapita!

    1. Richard Hewitt
      Happy

      Re: Continuing the posterior-related theme....

      I suspect they were being ironic.

    2. Mephistro Silver badge
      Coat

      Re: Continuing the posterior-related theme....

      "...it was Private Eye who coined Crapita!"

      Spot on! It's well known that Crapita was coined by a very private eye!

      1. smudge Silver badge

        Re: Continuing the posterior-related theme....

        Having spent my career in safety and security, my most common typo was "emergency shit-down".

        It was nearly always appropriate and in context...

  5. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    I live there and I have made that mistake which can be embarrassing. I think it comes down to which hand goes for the R after the I.

  6. Robert Ramsay

    more common than you might think...

    Just type "Yorkshite" into Google :-)

    1. I ain't Spartacus Gold badge
      Happy

      Re: more common than you might think...

      Don't! If you do that, the disembodied voice of Geoffrey Boycott then plays on your speakers, threatening to brain you with a cricket bat!

      Say his name 5 times and he will appear.

      Many innocent teenagers have been bored to death with ball-by-ball descriptions of 3 day hundreds.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: more common than you might think...

        "My mum could've hit that wiv a stick of wet rhubarb'

  7. Roger Kynaston
    Happy

    Good Friday along with BOFH

    And it is getting on for Beer o clock as well.

  8. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    The bureaucracy is expanding to meet the needs the of the expanding bureaucracy.

    1. BoldMan

      Spoken in your best Leonard Nimoy voice of course...

  9. FuzzyWuzzys
    Thumb Up

    Sounds about right...

    It must be in the Seal Farm estate in Hertford. I live about 5 miles up the road and SFE was voted one of the worst places to live in the UK!

  10. 0laf Silver badge

    Not a problem we get up here in lovely Clackmannanshite.

    1. TheWeenie

      Not a problem we get up here in lovely Clackmannanshite.

      No, but we have plenty of others!

  11. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    At least they're consistent

    Consistently bad, that is. They get all our recruitment ads wrong, too. Anon because health service and whistleblowing policies etc

  12. Captain Badmouth
    Happy

    Still there today

    Which is Sunday. Obviously crapita staff don't work weekends or don't read El Reg.

    1. ricardian

      Re: Still there today

      Still there at 11am on Mon 20 June!

  13. Captain Badmouth
    Devil

    Obviously

    This has nothing to do with Microshit taking over Linkedin?

  14. ecofeco Silver badge

    Loose quips sink ships

    When you make a typo, the errorists win.

  15. Sequin

    The job has now been removed from LinkedIn, but a search on "Hertfordshite" shows that it's a common fat-finger error

  16. TheDillinquent

    I live here

    in Hertford, which Android predictive text insists on changing to 'Gestfore'...

  17. Zippy's Sausage Factory

    Also that job ad was illegal

    Under UK law, the job title "architect" may ONLY be used be a member of the RICS.

POST COMMENT House rules

Not a member of The Register? Create a new account here.

  • Enter your comment

  • Add an icon

Anonymous cowards cannot choose their icon

Biting the hand that feeds IT © 1998–2019