back to article Swedish old timer pulls airsoft gun on broadband salesman

A feisty Swedish sexagenarian earned herself an appearance before the beak for clearly demonstrating that she wasn't interested in fast fibre or pay TV by allegedly pulling what looked like a pistol on a hapless salesman. She has been arrested and charged with assault. According to the indictment, she admits to pointing an …

  1. Known Hero
    Joke

    Can we do this to get Fibre ?

  2. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Welcome to Sweden

    Welcome to Sweden.

    One of the few countries worldwide where the domestic abuse stats show a majority of cases where men are beaten and assaulted by women and not the opposite.

    I guess that is not surprising - the real men went to found Russia, Slovakia, Normandy (and as consequence UK as we know it), discovered America and raided the coasts around all of Europe - from what is today York to what is today Istanbul. The few remaining combative ones died in Charles XII crazy excursions (until his own officers put a silver bullet through his head from the back).

    The ones which stayed at home were the peaceful peasants which have been beaten up by their wives ever since while maintaining neutrality.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      FAIL

      Re: Welcome to Sweden

      "One of the few countries worldwide where the domestic abuse stats show a majority of cases where men are beaten and assaulted by women and not the opposite."

      Citation please.

      Almost half of Swedish women will experience physical, sexual or psychological violence at the hands of men in their lifetime.

      http://stopdomesticviolence.com.au/gender-neutrality-high-domestic-violence-rate-sweden/

      "and tens of thousands of rapes and domestic violence incidents in a population of just nine million. “Violence against women remains a problem,"

      http://www.telegraph.co.uk/culture/film/7430122/The-dark-side-of-Swedish-society.html

      In Sweden, 81 percent of women said they had been harassed at some point after the age of 15 - compared to the EU average of 55 percent.

      http://www.thelocal.se/20140305/sweden-out-top-in-eu-domestic-violence-league

      1. hattivat

        Re: Welcome to Sweden

        Having spent some time in the country, I'd take these stats with almost as big a barrel of salt as the "only Swedish men get abused so much" claims. In reality Sweden is, in comparison to global standards, quite obviously a very peaceful place where people are relatively nice and respectful to each other. Personally I think that the only way these "Swedish men/women get soooo abused" stats can be reconciled with observable reality is some combination of the following:

        a) Being introverted loners that they are, the locals have broadened the definition of "abuse" to include "getting within 2 meters of another person without their explicit permission"

        b) Swedes are simply much more willing to report such incidents than other nations, and their police are more willing to count them.

        I suspect that the reporting is also influenced by

        c) Many Swedes being blissfully unaware of how much worse the situation in most of the world is

        as I have had Swedish colleagues use words like "horrible hellhole", "criminal ghetto", and "to be avoided at all cost" when trying to dissuade me from visiting districts that as I later discovered looked and felt like a regular run-of-the-mill tower block district in Eastern Europe, and were certainly orders of magnitude safer to be around at night than some places in the US, not to mention Latin America or Africa.

    2. Beornfrith

      Re: Welcome to Sweden

      So... 'Real men' don't suffer from domestic abuse?

      1. DougS Silver badge

        @Beornfrith

        I guess "real men" like that brave AC figure they can overpower any woman that dares to beat them and beat them worse. That'll temporarily suppress that feeling of inadequacy that causes him to post stuff like that. Maybe he's mad they wouldn't hire him at a women's prison where he could get paid to beat up women.

        1. Beornfrith

          Re: @Beornfrith

          Of course! Sigh. Domestic abuse is a difficult enough subject regardless of which gender is inflicting it on the other but having recently 'escaped' an abusive marriage I have recently very much had my eyes opened, as it were. It took the combined effort of my GP and specialist (I have health problems) along with a trained nurse and the police, alongside a close friend who had survived a deeply abusive relationship for me to even understand what was going on; so engrained in me was the idea that "Men don't get abused."

          In fairness to the police and the rest of the services that helped, they could not have been more helpful and supportive.

          And with regards to Alan Brown: Your last point is now moot north of the border, at least. When I told them I did not want them to investigate the possibility of a criminal offence I was told outright that they were no longer to take on board the wishes of the 'victim', and that it was their duty to investigate regardless (in an effort to prevent someone being scared or brow-beaten in to not pursuing anything).

          There is still a disparity between Scotland and England & Wales, though. It seems that had I been south of the border the situation would indeed have constituted a criminal offence but up north it's not. For what it's worth, I'm glad that's the case in my situation as the stress of proceedings would have been insane.

          1. Anonymous Coward
            Anonymous Coward

            Re: @Beornfrith

            Cheers for sharing man, helps us all put it into perspective!

    3. Alan Brown Silver badge

      Re: Welcome to Sweden

      "One of the few countries worldwide where the domestic abuse stats show a majority of cases where men are beaten and assaulted by women and not the opposite."

      In other words one of the few countries where the men admit it.

      Local fuzz have told me on several occasions that "female as aggressor" accounts for about 60% of their domestic abuse callouts and that men tend not to press charges or want to go to hospital even if obviously injured.

  3. b0llchit
    Thumb Up

    Need more of this

    Darn, what a nice lady! I'd wish she'd shot the bastard trying to sell superfluous internet connectivity. Next time I'd give her a gun with infinite-1 barrels. Then we might get rid of all the salesmen in one go.

    1. Jason Bloomberg Silver badge

      Re: Need more of this

      Whoa there; I don't mind people trying to sell me something as long as they take my "no thanks" as intended. Those who do, and certainly those who apologise for having disturbed me, I can forgive for trying to earn a crust.

      But those bastards who won't take "fuck off" for what it is, still keep trying to sell something to those who clearly aren't interestedt... that's a different matter. Dogs, guns, tanks, nukes; I think anything becomes fair game then.

      BT are the worst I have to suffer. Last time, after saying I wasn't interested, they pretty much insisted I have a quote, so I let them waffle on for about half an hour before they went ballistic that I wouldn't tell them my address details to check I could have what they were trying to sell me. Apparently it was my fault for wasting their time.

      1. Inventor of the Marmite Laser Silver badge

        You wait till the 'Block AdBlock' retards get this

        They'll be calling for people to be forced to open the door and listen to the sales blather and 'elevator pitch' gibberish.

      2. Robert Helpmann?? Silver badge
        Childcatcher

        Re: Need more of this

        I don't mind people trying to sell me something as long as they take my "no thanks" as intended. - I don't mind if someone takes the time to come round and talk. Its sales calls and spam that I hate.

        But those bastards who won't take "fuck off" for what it is... Last time, ... I let them waffle on for about half an hour... Apparently it was my fault for wasting their time. - Simply saying goodbye and closing the door, hanging up or marking the address as spam tends to work for the decent sorts. Stringing them along should be reserved for those that don't behave properly. You are wasting their time, which in turn means you cost them some money if they are on commission. That is, after all, the point. It lets them know they have done the wrong thing, prevents them from inflicting themselves onto someone else, all while providing you with some entertainment.

        Pro Tip: Alert cold callers that their call may be monitored for quality control purposes at the start of any sales pitch.

        1. Mark 85 Silver badge
          Devil

          @Robert Helpmann?? -- Re: Need more of this

          That usually works... except for certain Jehovah's Witnesses. The few problem children of that group who insist on ringing the doorbell right after I close it are usually persuaded not to do it again by an offer to "send them to their maker".... No takers on that part yet, I guess their heaven isn't all they make it out to be.

  4. Richard Jones 1
    Happy

    Iteresting idea

    Now please can we have a version of the weapon for salespeople from fraudulent 'overseas' support sites please, really, really pretty please.

    1. Mark 85 Silver badge
      Mushroom

      Re: Iteresting idea

      We do have those but no one can convince the controllers that these are legitimate drone targets.

  5. MrTuK

    MS get lost too !

    Pity we can't do this to MS when they are trying to force people onto MS Win 10 !

    1. Dazed and Confused

      Re: MS get lost too !

      It needs to be something a lot more suitable than an airsoft pistol.

      FrustratedVictim: Would you like a smack around the head?

      MS: No

      SMACK, SMACK

      MS: Why did you do that, I said NO

      FV: Argh but due to a change of policy, NO now means smack you around the head twice.

      MS: But I clearly said I didn't want to be smack around the head

      FV: Yes, but smacking you around the head is now considered "recommended" so saying NO, means two smacks.

      ...

      1. Inventor of the Marmite Laser Silver badge

        Re: MS get lost too !

        Would you like a smack round the head? Look, see, the box is pre-ticked.

  6. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    I'm guessing there was some confusion about the cap as she wanted to bust a cap in his ass.

  7. Sandtitz Silver badge
    Happy

    The real explanation

    The salesman was probably trying to exploit the granny and offered a paltry 100M connection for the price of your run-of-the-mill 1000M connection. (about £70 per month)

  8. Nifty

    While in the UK, the gun would be used to hold the salesman hostage until the fibre connection got delivered.

    1. Mad Chaz
      Childcatcher

      isn't that a life sentence?

      1. Oengus

        In Oz it would be Life+ the way that the NBN is going.

  9. Winkypop Silver badge
    Devil

    I'd shoot myself

    For fibre access

    1. Mephistro Silver badge
      Joke

      I'd shoot you too!

      (body)

  10. PhilipN Silver badge

    Kneeled so as to cross her address off the list?

    Sounds like BS to me. The only good reason I can think of to kneel down on someone's front doorstep is to peep through the letterbox and/or to check whether the (now established as) elderly resident usually leaves the key under the flowerpot.

  11. ideapete
    Pint

    Her bits from his bytes

    She could tell http://ideapete.com/megaBS.html

  12. Likkie

    Say hi to Julian for me....

    Sounds like its time for her to take a trip the Ecuadorian embassy to wait out the statute of limitations.

  13. Bucky 2

    She's my spirit animal

    I seriously doubt the exchange was as abbreviated as they say.

    I'm going to assume the salesman started talking, and wouldn't let the woman get a word in edgewise. After several minutes of mounting unease, the woman finally had to suspend any natural impulse toward politesse and slam the door.

    Assuming the woman was NOT an Olympic athlete, and she was not able to retrieve a gun and point it at him in the second and a half it takes to tick a box, I'm going to further assume he spent some time screwing around on her stoop, at which point the woman, transitioning from irritated to terrified, finds a toy gun and tries to get him to leave her property.

  14. Gay Gunowner

    Two In Face, Rest in Chest

    The hammer is cocked. With very slight pressure, a loaded pistol would fire. But the outcome wouldn't be pretty. Likely to miss with gun flying out of her hand.

    Firearm should be at ready state - not aimed unless prepared to shoot. Finger should be off trigger until ready to fire. The grip is too low in her hand, thumbs aren't overlapped on gun frame, index finger joint on trigger - not middle of of pad, her shooting arm is flexed - not straight, her support arm is too flexed, too close to face - would likely damage hearing. Unless skilled (which the photo suggests is not the case) she has no sight picture.

    For those that don't have firearms, keep an aerosol can of hornet spray handy. Shoots a stream 20 feet and temporarily blinds. Much more effective than tear gas or pepper spray; less likely to accidentally spray yourself.

    1. Updraft102 Silver badge

      Re: Two In Face, Rest in Chest

      It was an airsoft gun. The illustration is just a stock picture.

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