back to article Queen's Speech: Ministers, release the spaceplanes!*

Promises on broadband make up the mainstay of a new Digital Bill, first revealed at The Register back in January and formally revealed in the Queen’s Speech today. It’s one of 21 new legislative proposals. The speech reiterated plans to create the right for every household to access high speed broadband. The plans for a …

  1. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Like most commentards I regard David Icke as a nutter (sorry amanfrommars) but darn it if Her Maj don't look lizard-like in that there NASA snap.

    1. TheVogon Silver badge

      "Ofcom to have power to regulate internet-streamed material from outside EU"

      Really? By what god like powers are they planning on subverting foreign jurisdictions and the ability of the internet to route around censorship?

      1. Fibbles
        Big Brother

        The same way China does.

        Don't worry though, it's only to protect the children.

        1. Captain DaFt

          "Don't worry though, it's only to protect the children."

          Ah yes the 'children:

          "We hear echoes of “What about the children?” – The eternal cry of the social and philosophical conservative, but don’t be fooled. When they say “children” they mean you. They mean the poor deluded folks that have the gall to believe or suggest anything outside the currently accepted paradigm." - EsoterX*

          *I'll gladly concede he's a bit of a flake, but this quote hits the nail on the head.

        2. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          we will never be like China

          1. This post has been deleted by its author

          2. TheVogon Silver badge

            "we will never be like China"

            We are already like China. It's just a bit more subtle:

            https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_websites_blocked_in_the_United_Kingdom

          3. Dave 15

            correct

            We will never be as open about the abuse of our own subjects, nor will we have the economic success.

            Obviously better....

      2. Yet Another Anonymous coward Silver badge

        >Really? By what god like powers are they planning on subverting foreign jurisdictions and the ability of the internet to route around censorship?

        A strongly worded letter to each Nigerian prince ?

    2. Arctic fox
      Headmaster

      @AC ".........sorry amanfrommars......"

      Interestingly enough Amanfrommars writes beautiful English and is clearly of some considerable intelligence even though I usually (after having read one of his contributions) do not have a clue, in the end, what he is trying to communicate. I always read his postings when I see them in the forlorn hope that I may one day understand what he is trying to say to us (in saying that I am being serious, not taking the urine out of our compadre). Icke however, is just a nutter.

    3. Triggerfish

      Yeah and see that brooch, its not a rose really it's a subtly disguised alien head symbol.

  2. Captain Hogwash Silver badge
    WTF?

    Who's Brenda?

    Brenda is not a diminutive form of Elizabeth, but an entirely different name. So I'm rather confused.

    1. Oor Nonny-Muss
      Boffin

      Re: Who's Brenda?

      In 1971 the UK satirical magazine Private Eye ran a pseudo-item that Queen Elizabeth II "is known as Brenda to her immediate staff" resulting in the name Brenda being used in the media as an irreverent nickname for the Queen

      1. Captain Hogwash Silver badge

        Re: Who's Brenda? @Oor Nonny-Muss

        Thanks for the explanation.

        1. Roger Kynaston

          Re: Who's Brenda? @Oor Nonny-Muss

          A very many years ago Private Eye had a picture of a much younger Brenda with a speech bubble saying "I hope you realise I didn't write this crap"

          I was too young to see it for real but my Father had a ten year compilation of Eyes that the pre teen me used to enjoy reading all the rude words.

    2. Hans Neeson-Bumpsadese Silver badge

      Re: Who's Brenda?

      Brenda = Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth the Second

      Stavros = His Royal Highness Prince Philip the Duke of Edinburgh

      Brian = His Royal Highness Prince Charles, the Prince of Wales

      etc...

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Who's Brenda?

        "Queen Elizabeth II is often referred to as "Brenda", and the Prince of Wales as "Brian". This is a result of the 1969 BBC documentary Royal Family, after which the magazine gave each member of the Royal Family working class nicknames, as though they were characters in a soap opera. The Duke of Edinburgh is "Keith", Princess Margaret was "Yvonne" and Diana, Princess of Wales was dubbed "Cheryl"."

        https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_people_and_organisations_frequently_parodied_by_Private_Eye

  3. Red Bren
    Pirate

    In the light of recent revelations...

    There are more MPs under investigation for electoral fraud than the government's working majority. Should Her Majesty have refused to read the speech as it wasn't written by a legitimate government?

    1. wolfetone Silver badge

      Re: In the light of recent revelations...

      "Should Her Majesty have refused to read the speech as it wasn't written by a legitimate government?"

      No, because she's useless. She's "politically neutral" and doesn't like to get involved with politics apparently.

      However, every head of state in the UK since I don't know when has the ultimate power to dissolve government should they see fit. What you've pointed out is, quite frankly, a good enough reason to dissolve the government. Although you have to remember they are just being investigated and no one has been found guilty of it yet.

      But even if it does happen and they are found guilty, she won't do anything. You think of all the scandals there has been down the years, real economic problems that have affected thousands of people caused by either Labour or Conservative, she's done nothing about it. Turning up at a hospital to pull back a curtain is no sort of comfort to a mother who has just enough money to feed her child a can of beans that night while an MP claims her husbands porn film on expenses or another MP claims back a trip to a lap dancing club as a fact finding mission*.

      I would think, well I'd like to think, that it'd be different if/when Charles takes over as he's already shown he's more politically minded with the numerous letters he's written to politicians over the years. But at the same time I don't think he would be any better for the country either in political terms.

      TL;DR: It's a legitimate government until it's dissolved but the Queen won't do a thing about it because she doesn't want to get involved.

      *a Labour MP and a Conservative MP - I can't be accused of bias.

      1. Loyal Commenter Silver badge

        Re: In the light of recent revelations...

        The problem with Ol' Charlie is that he believes (strongly) in nonsense like homeopathy and talking to plants (although Mythbusters showed that there may be an effect here*, it also showed that playing them death metal is far more effective).

        *Not a statistically significant one give the sample size of six plants per group

        1. Yet Another Anonymous coward Silver badge

          Re: In the light of recent revelations...

          Nothing wrong with talking to plants.

          No sillier than talking to clouds.

          Now when you start making laws based on what you think someone in the clouds wants - then you have problems

          1. Anonymous Coward
            Anonymous Coward

            Re: In the light of recent revelations...

            Now when you start making laws based on what you think someone in the clouds wants - then you have problems

            Yes, but they call that "religion" like it should stop people being put in the looney bin.

        2. BurnT'offering

          Re: In the light of recent revelations...

          I'm on a homeopathic diet. Six glasses of water a day, each with a drop of Tincture of Steak and Kidney Pudding. It's working great except that sometimes I run out of energggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggg ...

          1. Captain DaFt

            Re: In the light of recent revelations...

            "I'm on a homeopathic diet. Six glasses of water a day, each with a drop of Tincture of Steak and Kidney Pudding. It's working great except that sometimes I run out of energggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggg ..."

            Are you mad!? You forgot the tincture of tea!

            No wonder you run out of energy!

            1. PhilipN Silver badge

              Homeopathic Diet

              Me too.

              i never eat anything but I remember what eating was like.

        3. Def Silver badge

          Re: In the light of recent revelations...

          ...talking to plants (although Mythbusters showed that there may be an effect here...

          I don't usually put too much stock in anything Mythbusters says.

          But I've always thought of talking to plants as basically bathing them in CO2 rich air. As long as you haven't been chowing on too many onions and garlic, I would expect there to be some benefit over time.

      2. Red Bren

        Re: In the light of recent revelations...

        "Although you have to remember they are just being investigated and no one has been found guilty of it yet."

        I thought that the Conservatives had admitted the rules had been breached but it was all a big misunderstanding and all the fault of some junior unpaid volunteer. Criminal intent or honest mistake is for the courts to decide, but those seats were still "won" by breaking the rules and should be uncontested.

        What is worrying is the lack of protest from Her Majesty's loyal opposition. While the Tories might still be able to run a minority government (with the quiet support of the DUP & UUP) it could deter them from trying to push such an ideological agenda. Have Labour also got something to hide?

        1. SkippyBing Silver badge

          Re: In the light of recent revelations...

          'Have Labour also got something to hide?'

          Yes, they were doing it too, as were the Lib Dems. See order-order.com for details.

        2. wolfetone Silver badge

          Re: In the light of recent revelations...

          "I thought that the Conservatives had admitted the rules had been breached but it was all a big misunderstanding and all the fault of some junior unpaid volunteer. Criminal intent or honest mistake is for the courts to decide, but those seats were still "won" by breaking the rules and should be uncontested."

          It's always a misunderstanding and the fault of some one else when someone is caught doing something they shouldn't. Like it was a complete misunderstanding that I filled my car up with £60 of petrol and drove off without paying, and that actually it was the cashiers fault for not telling me to pay in the first place. You can see how this goes?

          And let us not begin to mention how a van with 10,000 votes was stolen on the night of the election. Coincidence? You could say that. Or it could be something else. Who knows? Probably just a misunderstanding and the drivers fault for not clamping the wheel of the vehicle.

      3. David L Webb

        Re: In the light of recent revelations...

        However, every head of state in the UK since I don't know when has the ultimate power to dissolve government should they see fit.

        As I recall there was a civil war fought to stop the reigning monarch having that amongst other absolute powers. The monarch can only dissolve parliament in accordance with the rules laid down by parliament which nowadays means in compliance with the Fixed Term Parliament Act 2011.

  4. Sgt_Oddball Silver badge

    wait a minute....

    How high does sovereignty apply again?

    What about electronic vehicles with alternative power sources? (nee. Balloon / rockets)?

    Does this mean LOHAN could happen in the UK instead of waiting for the yanks to finally find the paper work and give it a rubber stamp?

    1. Alexander J. Martin
      Pint

      Re: wait a minute....

      I understand the SPB will be revealing Satoshi's identity in the LOHAN payload.

  5. Alexander J. Martin
    Facepalm

    Age Verification

    Over on Twitter, Graham Smith has noted a statutory instrument from 2014 which already ensures that "specially restricted material" must not be available to under 18s. The act of verifying the ages of 'net users is something else and pretty much unworkable, it seems to me. How do readers expect it could be handled?

    1. Sadie

      Re: Age Verification

      By the site moving abroad? Quite a few already have done to avoid ATVODs regulations. The English Mansion is apparently now in Canada

    2. wolfetone Silver badge
      Coat

      Re: Age Verification

      "How do readers expect it could be handled?"

      Easy.

      "Enter your date of Birth"

      or

      "Click this button if you're over 18"

      Age Verification For Dummies Politicians.

      1. Anonymous Blowhard

        Re: Age Verification

        Age verification question:

        Who is the Prime Minister of the United Kingdom?

        a) David Cameron <--- Indicates age over 18

        b) Harold Wilson <--- Indicates age over 81

        c) What's a Prime Minister <--- No porn for you!!

        d) Ron Jeremy <--- Too late!

        1. Loyal Commenter Silver badge

          Re: Age Verification

          Age verification question:

          Enter your (stolen / parent's) credit card number here:

        2. Captain DaFt

          Re: Age Verification

          "Who is the Prime Minister of the United Kingdom?"

          e) That miserable [redacted] [redacted] [redacted] [redacted] [redacted], who's [Whoa! you better believe that's redacted!] should be [Crap! redacted, I quit! this job is giving me PTSD]

          <--Average adult in UK

      2. Sadie

        Re: Age Verification

        I recall them quibbling about Debit cards not being sufficient. So I'm guessing they are planning a pre-auth/token fee to a credit card requirement (and then you'll have to call to get the fraud lock removed from your card as happened when I tried to remove the adult lock from the PAYG work phone.)

        1. tiggity Silver badge

          Re: Age Verification

          Requiring a credit card for age verification is surely discriminatory to those without credit cards.

          It's perfectly possible to go through life without a credit card (yes it gives you more protection than a debit card on purchases, but if you make very few card purchases and they are very small value then no "must have" need for that advantage)

          Plus, given the lamentable history of web site security, why would anyone want to give card detail (of any sort) for age verification (and as has been said already, could be stolen card number & so no real proof of id)

      3. streaky Silver badge
        FAIL

        Re: Age Verification

        My understanding is they're talking about CC verification either directly or through a third party. What could possibly go wrong anyways.

        Besides, weren't the default-on porn filters supposed to prevent children seeing porn?

        HANG ON..

        FYI: this govt thinks it can bring foreign sites into line by blocking access and it might well work - some will comply with regs and others won't care and be blocked in the UK (goes the theory). I think we're becoming Turkey pretty quickly but apparently nobody but me gives a toss so.. VPNs all round.

    3. Afernie
      Flame

      Re: Age Verification

      "The act of verifying the ages of 'net users is something else and pretty much unworkable, it seems to me. How do readers expect it could be handled?"

      They'll probably go with something like this:

      May in 2010: "This bill is the first step of many that this government is taking to reduce the control of the state over decent, law-abiding people and hand power back to them. With swift parliamentary approval, we aim to consign identity cards and the intrusive ID card scheme to history within 100 days."

      May tomorrow: "Hello decent, law-abiding, and hopefully very forgetful people, this is the voice of your masters. In order to make this requirement workable we've been working on this foolproof little concept called biometric ID cards, backed by a centralised database. You will somehow use them (the Civil Service and pork-barrel contractors tell me not to worry about the details and I never do) to prove your age when you're online."

      1. Voland's right hand Silver badge

        Re: Age Verification

        May tomorrow:

        Wrong. This is the High Chancellor(ess) Treasonous May tomorrow: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PhsvmY3Q9cY

    4. Fibbles

      Re: Age Verification

      1) All pornography websites must institute age verification. Think of the children!

      2) Those damned foreign websites refuse to recognize our laws, this makes them illegal. ISPs must block all illegal sites. Think of the children!

      3) ???

      4) Thank-you Mr. Chinese Ambassador for lending us the technical expertise to implement this "Great Firewall". 想想孩子们!

      1. MrXavia

        Re: Age Verification

        At the current rate of progression, I am expecting within 10 years The chinese government will be protesting about the UK's violations of human rights..

        I cannot believe Theresa May and our government are getting away with what they are doing, how can the public care more about dogs being scared by fireworks than they do about basic human rights and the 1Million pensioners who are living in poverty!

        1. chris121254

          Re: Age Verification

          the government are not getting away and the public do care and are fighting this! media want you to think people are not fighting this

        2. Mark 85 Silver badge

          Re: Age Verification

          how can the public care more about dogs being scared by fireworks than they do about basic human rights and the 1Million pensioners who are living in poverty!

          For the same reasons that here in the States they care more about the Kartrashian's ass size than the bozos running for President. As individuals, we can't control the big things so we focus on the little things we can. Or we go loopy and be concerned about the things that have no bearing on our well-being.

        3. Dave 15

          Re: Age Verification

          When thinking about voters remember....

          I know a pensioner voting Conservative for lower taxes (despite the evidence to the contrary)

          Another voting Conservative because Milibands suit didn't fit

          A non pensioner voting Conservative because the minimum wage would lose them a job

          someone telling me how they vote conservative because everything else is a waste as the conservatives always get in

          So, I guess the IQ of the average voter gets them what they deserve.

      2. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Age Verification

        you mean fail to implement this "Great Firewall" ;) dont see them being able to implement any thing like this they cant even tie there shoes right!

  6. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    autonomous vehicles

    Drone. Skylon. Drone. Skylon

    No not really seeing how you can lump them together in one go.

    You don't unveil a flying camera (or even a full remotely operated plane with Hellfire missiles) with the words "we do not choose to go to the Moon orbit because it is easy"

  7. Kharkov
    Facepalm

    The Tories never miss an opportunity to... miss an opportunity...

    Wow, what a missed opportunity. They could have plugged Skylon and gotten a points boost in the polls - Rule of Cool and all that.

    Even if you don't think Skylon will make it to fully-realised Spaceplane (I'm a big fan, can you tell?) in 2022, the Tories could have had people talking about their goals in a positive way.

    1. kmac499

      Re: The Tories never miss an opportunity to... miss an opportunity...

      I can only presume that Dave & Co saw an old re-run of Fireball XL5 and thought. "We can prop the end of a space runway\launch track on those China Clay slag heaps they've got in Cornwall".

      Skylon sponsored by Ginsters ??

  8. Tony S

    Year, right!

    "UK.gov also promised “new powers for public authorities to share information to combat the public sector fraud which costs the country billions”."

    Unless it seems likely to embarrass the particular public authority, the civil servants or the politicians involved in the fraud.

    Oooh; did I just say that out loud? (cynical me!)

  9. nil0

    10Mbps?

    > They appear to put the onus on broadband providers to ensure that folk have access to 10Mps - providing they can't get it through other means such as 4G or satellite.

    So, seeing as everyone can get satellite ('can get' and 'want' being different things), this applies to no-one, I'm guessing. Convenient.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: 10Mbps?

      Shouldn't that be 'can afford satellite data'?

      That is only for the rich AFAIK.

      Oh, silly me. Only rich folk live in the country.

    2. Sadie

      Re: 10Mbps?

      Yeah.- I have even more doubts of getting Fibre now. I live in a city where the cab in my street isn't being upgraded and the local BDO (Connect Devon Somerset) is very much "Rural Areas Only" - Bet they'll say use 4G now rather then bother to upgrade the cabinet

    3. Alfie

      Re: 10Mbps?

      Yeah, so living less than 10 miles from the centre of Glasgow leaves me the option of paying £60 per month and over £300 installation/hardware costs for decent satellite coms? Thanks very much Ofcom/Openreach/Wastemonster! Nice loophole!*

      *Although I'm betting money on that commitment to not apply to Scotland anyway as its devolved, so even more slacking off by OpenReach and Digital Scotland on delivering decent broadband to the masses!

    4. Timbo

      Re: 10Mbps?

      There's a link on El Reg which talks about the Queens Speech from 2009, where Gordon Brown was talking about ensuring 2Mbps being the minimum for broadband...and now, 7 years later, they are talking about 10Mbps by 2020....jeez.

      I think some of these politicians and civil servants need to be dragged into the 21st century, as in some countries, 100Mb is the norm NOW (and has been for a while). God help us when they get Gb connectivity and we are still reliant on tins cans and wet string to make a connection. BT/Openreach needs to be given the boot and let's have some upto date technology providers to rejig the system.

    5. This post has been deleted by its author

  10. Chris 239

    Skylon

    Hey Reg so doing that!

    I got excited thinking that the government had decided to fund Skylon properly. That would be worth getting excited about. Now I'm feeling all let down :-(

    1. Flatpackhamster

      Re: Skylon

      Feeling let down is part of the joy of being governed by lackwits. After a while you realise that you're always going to feel a combination of bafflement, disgusting and loathing towards them and the only true interest comes in finding out exactly how let down you feel.

  11. msknight Silver badge

    "Uk Based..."

    ...means the business is based in the UK. Even if you're operating on servers elsewhere in the world. Just ask Pandora Blake who's been one of many on the receiving end of all this... even though she's usually on the giving end... errr....

    Age verification won't work. There is no method which is foolproof, particularly as we shift to digital currency and even youngsters have credit cards that either have limits that are guaranteed by adults, or pre-loaded. (or else their iGizmos won't work to pay for things) Age verification is doomed to failure... and the government already knows this. But, they're happily living in cloud cuckoo land with their fingers in their ears.

  12. Dan 55 Silver badge
    Devil

    "At the same time, we continue to reject any suggestions of sweeping, authoritarian measures"

    Yes, well, they thought they'd have to go into a coalition with the Lib Dems again. That manifesto promise is not necessary now.

    No, they weren't promising that to the electorate.

  13. John H Woods Silver badge

    GREAT NEWS

    Good Morning Britain finished their toadying summary with this: "And, in a futuristic move, new laws will make Britain a world leader in driverless cars, unmanned drones and even space travel"

    So, medium to long term investment in education, science, technology and manufacturing then? That would be GREAT NEWS. But I suspect they just mean creating a few more ill-thought out and unnecessary laws.

  14. Blofeld's Cat
    Devil

    I can dream ...

    I keep hoping one day we'll get a real Queen's Speech ...

    "It is high time for me to put an end to your sitting in this place, which you have dishonored by your contempt of all virtue, and defiled by your practice of every vice.

    Ye are a factious crew, and enemies to all good government. Ye are a pack of mercenary wretches, and would like Esau sell your country for a mess of pottage, and like Judas betray your God for a few pieces of money.

    Is there a single virtue now remaining amongst you? Is there one vice you do not possess?

    Ye have no more religion than my horse. Gold is your God. Which of you have not bartered your conscience for bribes? Is there a man amongst you that has the least care for the good of the Commonwealth?

    Ye sordid prostitutes have you not defiled this sacred place, and turned the Lord's temple into a den of thieves, by your immoral principles and wicked practices?

    Ye are grown intolerably odious to the whole nation. You were deputed here by the people to get grievances redressed, are yourselves become the greatest grievance.

    Your country therefore calls upon me to cleanse this Augean stable, by putting a final period to your iniquitous proceedings in this House; and which by God's help, and the strength he has given me, I am now come to do.

    I command ye therefore, upon the peril of your lives, to depart immediately out of this place.

    Go, get you out! Make haste! Ye venal slaves be gone! Go! Take away that shining bauble there, and lock up the doors.

    In the name of God, go!" - Oliver Cromwell to the Rump Parliament, April 1653

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: I can dream ...

      In a nutshell. Oliver Cromwell and his Puritan laws banning many enjoyable things and replacing them with reading your Bible. He then tried to establish a dynastical tyranny - except his son wasn't up to the job. No thanks.

  15. This post has been deleted by its author

  16. StuartCharity

    Age verification

    They are always talking about the Age filter but nothing changed. Sites like Pornhub or Fapshows.com should have a stronger filter not just a two button one that even a monkey can pass. They should make some kind of general filter account that will require user and password on any sites with the filter activated. This should do the job.

  17. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    None of this passes a quick fact check

    (deleted)

  18. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Spaceport

    I see a a spaceport was mentioned too. Fat chance of that happening in the UK as the NIMBY's will be out in force .... and rightly so in this case as a Saturn V launch was 220 db, which would put it in a lot of peoples back yards. On the plus side we wouldn't be going for top 1960's tech so the sound levels wouldn't be as bad. As for the other considerations on where to put a spaceport all they need to do is find some isolated part of the country, as far south as possible with a couple hundred of miles of empty sea to the east. Good luck with that.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Spaceport

      I hate NIMBYs. I don't want them anywhere near me.

      1. A Ghost
        Thumb Up

        Re: Spaceport

        I don't want them anywhere near you either, as I'm a NIYBY (not in your back yard).

  19. A Ghost
    Pirate

    First off...

    Icke is not a nutcase (see first posts).

    He is a cynical exploiter of the masses. He preys on those who have mental health problems (this is a well known market), and he preys on those with too much time/money/need for novelty on their hands.

    He knows what he is doing. Have a look at the accounts when he did his The People's Voice charade. Rotten to the core. But protected. I think he is funded by the Queen.

    Ah, the Queen. Well, as for me signing in to say I am 18 to watch smut, that isn't going to happen. What shall I do? I shall stop watching smut.

    These cunts are taking the piss so much it almost hurts. I know that most of you will accept this, but I won't.

    That is all for now.

  20. alexandrestar
    Thumb Down

    Aujourd’hui on sort demain on sort pas … uk bandes de fdp sortes connards !! Et lèches-vous les couilles molles. Chaque année vous nous fait chier avec votre exit de merde. Mais sorte bandes d'enculés.

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