Political guidance systems tend to be a touch limited...
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Five per cent of Britons would choose the voice of Nigel Farage as their in-car virtual assistant. And 3 per cent want to be advised of traffic jams ahead by the Chuckle Brothers. The poll of over 2,000 Britons for voice company Nuance suggests a wide range of celebrity choices, although perhaps thankfully, more would choose a …
Trump wouldn't say 'turn right'. He'd say "Go! Go! You'll be amazed, you won't believe how good it is when you're going. You'll go so great you'll be bored with going."
And if you ask him which way, he'll say "I told you already, go now!"
It'd be like taking directions from my 4-year-old, just with a slightly wider vocabulary.
"You're driving in England? They're losers, they drive on the wrong side of the road, they don't believe in traffic lights, they have those crazy roundabouts... roundabouts, that'll, that will, only work in socialist countries. That's what they try to make you into, a place where everybody is equal, where you have to wait for everybody else no matter what your're doing or what they're doing. In America we have traffic lights, you know when it's your turn dammit. And don't even get me started on Kilometers, how the hell to you know how far you're going when nothing is in miles?"
wtf is a kilometre everything is in miles in the UK. We drive on the other side of the road so we can stab you in the face with a sword with our best arm! And the reason we have roundabouts and traffic lights is we are too rude and inconsiderate to wait for someone else turn! However unlike Americans when we see someone in need we do help. We dont just shoot them, hit them with the bible or throw them in a volcano if your tom cruise :P
Four paragraphs about Stephen Fry? Tch,
Okay, we get it... he's earned a lot of money from his pen (er, succession of Macs and a non-Word word-processors), his columns for newspapers have been collected and published in book form, his novels best sellers, he was a close friend of the much championed constructive critic of technology Douglas Adams, he's spent a lot of money of gadgets and cocaine...
One can only assume that Mr Orlowski watches too much UK television if he is that irritated by Stephen Fry. I say this kindly: someone get him a PVR, or Kodi with extensions, or Netflix subscription or whatever... it's the 21st century FFS, you can do this with a £20 dongle and your phone these days! We do not have to put up whatever falls into your gogglebox over the airwaves anymore (I'm assuming Mr Orlowski has broadband internet). One can only assume passive over-exposure to Stephen Fry is the reason behind his animosity, because it would be impolite to ascribe it to the jealousy of one writer for another.
I like Stephen Fry, his writings, his performances in Black Adder and Jeeves and Wooster, his journey towards self-acceptance, his presenting of suitable TV shows even. I don't watch QI or advertisements, though. I'm not adverse to people taking the piss out of him, but since such people have included Clement Freud et al on Just a Minute it seems a bit redundant here.
Apparently a professional actor doing voice-overs in adverts is something to be embarrassed about. This will be news to actors the world over who think it's part of earning their living.
Company produces poll as marketing ploy, including reference to Stephen Fry. Otherwise Fry is entirely unconnected with it. But Orlowski uses it as an excuse to continue his obsession with Fry, and fills half the story with entirely unrelated bitching about him.
"Company produces poll as marketing ploy, including reference to Stephen Fry. Otherwise Fry is entirely unconnected with it. But Orlowski uses it as an excuse to continue his obsession with Fry, and fills half the story with entirely unrelated bitching about him."
Exactly! On a similar note, I wonder how many people chose a name because they felt they had to, ie thought that choosing "none of the above" might make them look a bit thick? If it had been a free choice, I bet that not only would their be a lot more names in the list, but the "controversial" ones like Farage and Fart wouldn't even get a showing. It's marketing crap and El Reg fell for it.
As a 'Murrican I find I prefer a generic female British voice, and went out of my way to download one for my Garmin. I did try Pam, the Aussie who apparently is a favorite, but for myself I like the English lady better. Also had one in my Magellan years ago.
It is mildly amusing when they use different terms for things than we do in the US. "On ramp" or "off ramp" becomes "slip road". "Legal" U-turn becomes "authorized". "Highway" or "freeway" becomes "motorway". Kinda cool, really. Like a tiny glimpse into a different culture.
Getting educated on the proper terms for things :D
I had the Kiwi one set up a while ago on mine just to have a taste of home, and whilst the phrases such as 'Chuck a U-y here bro, choice' and 'Mate, turn around let's go get us a mean steak and cheese pie' were hilarious in the beginning, it did get tiresome after a few thousand iterations.
"It is mildly amusing when they use different terms for things than we do in the US. "On ramp" or "off ramp" becomes "slip road". "Legal" U-turn becomes "authorized". "Highway" or "freeway" becomes "motorway". Kinda cool, really. Like a tiny glimpse into a different culture."
It's funny you find it amusing when you heard the British (or European) words for things in your own country. However, I have to say it's a mild irritant for me to have the sat nav on my phone say "traffic circle" when I come up to a "roundabout". It's a roundabout.
No one has ever heard of The Magic Traffic Circle have they?
I gather John Cleese was an option at one stage:
"Right! Now turn left!"
I bet he could handle swearing back at the driver as well. Battery sergeant major 'Shut up' Williams could do that nicely too:
"I'll make you turn left so fast YOUR FEET WON'T TOUCH THE GROUND!!!"
Megaphone not really needed, I suppose
I'm surprised nobody has mentioned the ordering of the list (unless I missed it). Sticks Nigel Farage at the top despite not being either alphabetical or the most popular choice. Must just be my OCD but it bugs the hell out of me that there's no particular rhyme or reason for the order. It also seems to add up to 139% - so I assume people could vote for multiple options?
As for voices, has to be Morgan Freeman. That voice is just like melting butter.
I first read the headline as
"5% want Nigel Farage to be their on car rubber bumper"
I think that would be an excellent idea although car insurance premiums would rocket. "Sorry dear, had another parking accident and squashed Nigel again"
For an in-car voice, Farage would be far too annoying, as he is in real life. I would opt for the dulcet tones of Papa Lazarou
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