The marketeers had consulted with some languageneers...
Then the journaleers at El Reg wouldn't be complaining ?
Those of delicate linguistic sensibilities are advised to look away as we report today that the Siemens tentacle previous known as Siemens Healthcare has gone under the surgeon's rebranding knife and emerged as the quite remarkable Siemens Healthineers. The Siemens Healthineers logo According to head honcho healthineer …
Honestly "imagineer" at Disney probably is more exciting than any "engineering" job at Siemens you can get. Essentially most jobs are about getting bugs out of outsourced code you could have written in a fraction of the time it takes to debug it.
Siemens Healthcare actually used to be one of the areas where engineers actually had to solve hard problems. I mean you need to be able to do advanced mathematics to do a CT scan.
"And here I thought 'Anthropomorphized Wabbits' was a Time Warner (Bros.) Thing. Perhaps you meant Ducks, (sans Daffy)?"
I take it that you've been living somewhere far, far, far away from Young Adults and Tweens and have therefore not heard of Zootopia. And one Judie Hopps. https://itunes.apple.com/US/movie/id1084138493
Now, if only this were true for me...
The marketing folks are probably all on a cruise spending the big fat paycheque that they received for the rebranding.
ITYM The marketingific folketeers are probabiliteristic all cruiseteering spendingification the big fat paychequeingie that they receivedeers for the rebrandingeers.
I wonder what would happen to the poor sods who went for surgery to a DevOperating theatre?
Presumably the combined surgeon/tester, or "surjester" would administer the
abomination operation, while the combined anaesthetist/whalesong DJ or "ether-jockey" kept the victim patient under.
"With our new name, we express our ambition to shape the future of healthcare together with you. Our new name marks the beginning of this journey whereby we intend to build upon our key attributes: engineering and pioneering healthcare – key words that define the people working in our company."
That's the exact statement they'll use in a year's time to announce the new rebranding: Siemens HealthGuys.
And a year later: Siemens HealthDudes.
And quite how much money was wasted on that?
I mean, honestly. What a pointless waste of time, effort, money, and email bytes.
Sorry, but the only acceptable use of company name changes is really when you merge two companies (Alcatel-Lucent?) and even then, only to eventually decide to retire one of the names.
Literally EVERY other company name change just makes me think "So, that's a new company number, with new directors, so what are you hiding that you didn't us to find inside the old company?". And when a company rebrands just for the sake of it without even changing who they are, what they do, or what they're registered as? I just think of someone painting their house bright pink over the top of the perfectly-maintained and just-repainted beige underneath.
Is that "acceptable"?
And does that honestly work?
Just seems inherently dishonest and will only stick in my mind more in the kind of "Oh, yes, X were Y but they don't want us to remember that, they changed their name rather than fixed the problem" kind of way.
I can't name a company where the name was changed and suddenly they were much more successful than under their previous dubious-dealing company name.
Neither a new company number nor new directors are required - a company can trade under any name it likes (within reason and avoiding other trademarks).
A company can also change its name at Companies House if it likes too - subject to agreement from the directors and shareholders passing the appropriate resolution(s). This also does not need any change of company number or directors.
The name is still complete bollocks though.
I wonder if they considered using the song "We built this city" by Starship...? That would be a double-bingo....
A current set of tele ads for a manufacturer and seller of wooden furniture....
Come on you know who they are, with a tag line of
"There's no Veneer in 'ere"
Must be a chat up line, as in some social circles it's best to avoid people with any sort of "Venneer" especially in the downstairs depts.
I have a suspicion that Lord Bong was involved in the rebranding, as the decision shows clear signs of being Thinkfluence-inspired. Perhaps Lord Bong was involved as a Thinkfluence consultant. Or would that now be correctly referred to as a thinkfluenceer (sounds like "Thinkfluence seer")?
Looking forward to hearing from him soon.
The Germans have become quite fond of coining English words in German (Handy, Beamer, Wellness, …) that seem oddly out of context to a native speaker. This seems like another and would go with that abominable song.
On the other hand, the yanks are the ones who came up with "onboarding" for training so maybe the is just more west coast bollocks.
Whatever it's genesis I don't really see this tagline getting much traction. Especially in the next Siemens reorganisation, which can't be that far off.
"passionate about empowering healthcare providers to optimally serve their patients"
Thanks you, Siemens, for that. Every so often I think that it might be worth taking the corporate stick up my arse again so that I don't have to live on beans and mud. So it's timely that something like this comes along to remind me that, poor though I may now be, anything beats working in an environment where I might bump into the kind of fuckpig who would construct a sentence as snot-gobblingy putrid as that.
So this gives us some context. The party happened in Erlangen in the "Röthelheimpark" and was apparently televised around the world. Ohh and they are going to build a new building housing 1000 employees.
A quote from the chairman of the management, Bernd Montag, "Our new brand is a courageous signal for our standards and expresses our self-image as an enterprise that's close to the people".
According to the article "many employees liked the change". 5000 employees were there, so "many" could also be a tiny percentage. :) On the other hand, many of those people have worked (nearly) their whole life for (companies like) Siemens. They don't know any different. Siemens has gradually turned into a "bank" since the early 1990s with bean counters replacing physicists in the management, so most of the current employees grew up in a world where things like "quality gates" are far more important than good engineering. They grew up in a world where people feel entitled to ridiculously high salaries, despite of having no idea what they are doing. They probably think such rebrandings are normal.
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