back to article I am Craig Wright, inventor of Craig Wright

"If you are going through hell, keep going." – Albert Einstein, 1991. I remember reading that quote on a motivational poster somewhere or other many years ago. I have carried it with me uncomfortably ever since. There's no easy way to fold a poster into your pocket. I think I am now finally at peace with what old Bertie meant …

  1. caffeine addict Silver badge

    What?

    At least one of us needs more coffee...

    1. A Non e-mouse Silver badge

      Or someone's had *too* much coffee...

      1. Mike 125

        Or someone's had *too* much coffee...

        Or someone's had too *much* coffee...

        I love these preludes to figuring stuff out...!

    2. PleebSmasher
      Pint

      chain of blocks

      With all that stashed Bitcoin, one of us can get some cocaine instead.

      1. Flat Phillip

        Re: chain of blocks

        More likely a chain of bollocks, to use one of those quaint English sayings.

    3. Jason Bloomberg Silver badge
      WTF?

      Explanation

      I imagine it's meant to be a parody of Craig Wright's blog posting here -

      http://www.drcraigwright.net/jean-paul-sartre-signing-significance

      1. Ole Juul Silver badge

        Re: Explanation

        tl;dr

        It takes two Craigs to make one Wright.

    4. mythicalduck
      WTF?

      At least it's not just me. Thought my brain had rotted from staring at this computer too long...

      Depressingly, the latter might still be true

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Basically, in real life, some publicity-seeking person called "Craig Wright" claimed they were "Satoshi Nakamoto", the inventor of Bitcoin, they came up with a load of crypto nonsense to "prove" it, and they managed to persuade a bunch of mainstream media of this. Of course, they came out in a blaze of publicity in the mainstream media without posting all the crypto "proof" online, with just one stage-managed "proof" demo in front of a couple of "experts" who obviously missed the hole in the "proof".

        This is the Reg's parody of that.

        (The BBC News front page is still saying that "Craig Wright" will come up with "extraordinary proof" "soon". If he had such proof, why hasn't he done it already? Perhaps he doesn't have such proof, and just wants to prolong the media spotlight on himself and avoid everyone knowing he's a fraud? It's easy to claim you'll come up with proof even if you can't. And actually, IMO the real Satoshi Nakamoto knows enough about crypto that they could have conclusively proved their identity the first go, they wouldn't need time to come up with a second proof).

        1. Captain DaFt

          meh

          I figured that the whole "I am Craig Wright and I invented Bitcoin, here's some dubious proof" thing was just a rather lame attempt to smoke out the real Satoshi Nakamoto.

          After all, why would the real Satoshi Nakamoto even want people to know who he is? He'd end up going through the hell of having his entire life placed under a microscope, and every minor defect plastered all over the media.

          1. Version 1.0 Silver badge

            Re: meh

            If I were Satoshi Nakamoto right now (I'm not) then I'd be rummaging in the toolbox for a set of wire cutters while holding my internet feed in the other hand.

            Ah, got the#%D%C%^&577v76vuui NO CARRIER

    5. streaky Silver badge

      Well I thought it was hilarious and I've only had 5 hours sleep in 4 days so maybe the no sleep is the answer.

      Whoever actually invented bitcoin has spent so long hiding they're now, in fact, irrelevant no matter who they are.

  2. Phil O'Sophical Silver badge

    "If you are going through hell, keep going." – Albert Einstein, 1991.

    Einstein died in 1955.

    What does the rest of the article mean? Has someone finally let amanfrommars write more than comments?

    1. h4rm0ny
      Black Helicopters

      Maybe amanfrommars is Satoshi Nakamoto?

      1. Chemical Bob

        Re: Maybe amanfrommars is Satoshi Nakamoto?

        I don't know about that but I'm your uncle.

        1. Fungus Bob Silver badge

          Re: Maybe amanfrommars is Satoshi Nakamoto?

          Same here.

        2. Dippywood

          Re: Maybe amanfrommars is Satoshi Nakamoto?

          Surely Bob's your uncle.

          Don't call him Surely, though.

    2. werdsmith Silver badge

      Einstein died in 1955.

      No not that Albert Einstein.....

    3. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Inaccuracies

      I am Albert Einstein and I did say that in 1991 and again in 1996.

    4. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Time is a relative concept, you just need the right reference frame.

      We are Craig Wright and all your block chains are belong to us.

    5. The Man Who Fell To Earth Silver badge
      Black Helicopters

      "If you are going through hell, keep going." – Albert Einstein, 1991.

      Different Albert Einstein. And he was quoting Winston Churchill.

    6. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      I think that little

      oversight, set the tone for the rest of the "article".

      NB, isn't a crucial part of a hacks job to check A: the validy of facts and B: to proof read the article before posting it.

      We all make mistakes, but fucking hell guys.. Thats not an error, error is insuffieicent an adjective to describe what complete bollocks that is.

      NB Seems its not THE Albert Enstein so apologies, as for the remainder of the story: TL:DR

      1. Hans Neeson-Bumpsadese Silver badge

        Re: Albert

        "Seems its not THE Albert Enstein"

        Was it Albert Einstein, creator of Albert Einstein?

    7. RoastedGarlic

      No, no, he pronounces it "Albert Ayne-steen"

    8. Roj Blake Silver badge

      As Einstein himself famously said, "most of the stuff on the internet is made up"

  3. Blofeld's Cat

    Always look on the bright side ...

    "No, I am Brian Craig White, and so's my wife."

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Always look on the bright side ...

      What would Brian Boitano do?

      1. Mike Tubby

        Re: Always look on the bright side ...

        What would Chuck Norris do??

        1. TheOtherHobbes

          Re: Always look on the bright side ...

          Nothing.

          We are all Craig Wright.

          1. Anonymous Coward
            Anonymous Coward

            Re: Always look on the bright side ...

            This is the castle of my master, Cray de Wryyy.

            Who are you?

  4. Phil W

    I am Satoshi Nakamoto and so is my wife.

    Alternatively for the older generation...

    You are Satoshi Nakamto and I claim my five pounds.

    1. Seajay#

      Life of Brian came out in 1979. If you were old enough to go to the cinema then, you ARE the older generation.

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      As a younger generation user...

      Sykes?

    3. Stoneshop Silver badge

      My name is Craig Wright. You killed my blockchain. Prepare to die.

  5. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Can I state for the record that I am in fact Sparticus and so is my wife?

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      No, you can't.

      Because I'm Spartacus.

      1. BurnT'offering

        We are all Spartacus

        In a distributed fashion

        1. Eddy Ito Silver badge
          Coat

          Re: We are all Spartacus

          Would that make us a Sparticluster?

      2. XSV1

        No. I am Albert Einstein and I never said that!

        1. Ole Juul Silver badge

          Je suis Craig. . . . I think.

          1. allthecoolshortnamesweretaken Silver badge

            I am confused ...

            1. EastFinchleyite

              Confused

              "I am confused......"

              You are confused! Think yourself lucky. There are 727 Craig White's listed on LinkedIn and I bet many of them are having a really wonderful day. (Mind you, serves them right for registering on LinkedIn).

              1. Mark 85 Silver badge

                @EastFinchleyite -- Re: Confused

                Only 727 of them? "Will the real Craig White please stand up?" Oh... they all did.

            2. energystar
              Coffee/keyboard

              I am mathematically confused...

              Should go back to college.

          2. Baskitcaise
            Happy

            Je suis Craig. . . . I think.

            Therefore I am, Wright.

  6. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Post Bank Holiday BBQ food poisoning?

    S'the only excuse I can see for publishing what I assume is meant to pass for humour.

    1. Dr Spork
      Paris Hilton

      Re: Post Bank Holiday BBQ food poisoning?

      Maybe an exhibition analysis into what passes for investigative "tech (sic) reporting" at the BBC these days?..

      "Gosh, that sounds awfully technical: Can you put your hand on your heart and promise me it's true?"

  7. jake Silver badge

    Bloody hell ...

    Someone's on something I can't afford. Nor would I use it if I could.

    Hopefully the inmates aren't in charge of the encryption asylum ... although, seeking reality, it would seem that they are. And manglement are allowing it through sheer incompetence.

  8. Dr Paul Taylor

    null output

    $ base64 craig.txt > craig.txt

    Not sure what shell you're using, but base64 and sort trash the output file before reading the input.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: null output

      the hash also seems to be from that null output...

      if you just enter:

      shasum -a 256

      and hit ctrl-D for EOF, you get:

      e3b0c44298fc1c149afbf4c8996fb92427ae41e4649b934ca495991b7852b855 (what is posted in the article)

      if you do it with the correct text, e.g. with

      base64 craig.txt | sort | shasum -a 256

      you get:

      f647315455eba713c5b2ed7a77f878b5327dd60a111231af6da41dcf41a4a675

      honestly can't tell if this article is satire or not

      1. Sam Liddicott

        Re: null output

        Real life is indistinguishable from satire.

        1. asdf Silver badge

          Re: null output

          >Real life is indistinguishable from satire.

          Real life is actually a bit funnier if it wasn't you and yet usually no one else is privy to the joke and that is often for the best.

        2. Major_Variola

          Re: null output

          So why *did* satire refuse the lit prize?

        3. Captain DaFt

          Re: null output

          "Real life is indistinguishable from satire."

          Here's a quick check: Unlike real life, satire has to seem remotely plausible.

      2. BurnT'offering

        Re: honestly can't tell if this article is satire or not

        That 's the mark of the best satire. And - the worst

        1. Roq D. Kasba

          Re: honestly can't tell if this article is satire or not

          You honestly can't tell? Maybe Occam could lend you a Razor to whittle the article down a bit?

          1. Anonymous Coward
            Anonymous Coward

            Re: honestly can't tell if this article is satire or not

            Would Occam's Razor be any use if I went off grid and became a spoon whittler? (or is that an advert for broadband?)

      3. Hans Neeson-Bumpsadese Silver badge

        Re: Satire

        "honestly can't tell if this article is satire or not"

        It's something beginning with an "s"....

      4. bsdnazz

        Re: null output

        base64 craig.txt > craig.txt

        Truncate before reading...

    2. dajames Silver badge

      Re: null output

      Not sure what shell you're using, but base64 and sort trash the output file before reading the input.

      I'd been thinking that applying a line-by-line alphabetic sort to a one-line file would be pretty pointless but, as you say, the file being sorted is null by that stage anyway so there's (if possible) even less point in it.

  9. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Satoshi, is that you?!

    (sorry, it's only Monday!)

    ...

    yeah, well still MONDAY in MY world!

  10. Mike 125

    I'm Jamie Vardy

    and that's all anybody needs to know.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: I'm Jamie Vardy

      How's the hangover?

      1. Mike 125

        Re: I'm Jamie Vardy

        Bad. And btw I'm open to offers.

    2. Alexander J. Martin

      Re: I'm Jamie Vardy

      Can I come to your party?

  11. dan1980
    Pint

    I am so very, very glad that it is 6pm in Australia, that I am about to leave the office and that there is a convenient bottle shop on my way home. For I feel in need of a drink.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      > I am so very, very glad that it is 6pm in Australia, that I am about to leave the office

      I've used that line more than once. Handy on a Friday when your office is six time zones behind Australia.

  12. Gobhicks

    Meta the Author

    Meta-journalism, or something of that sort, I suppose. Droll. How Droll? In the eye of the meta-reader.

    Go to San Francisco, spend a year in outer space, with a sweet little San Franciscan girl.

    1. Alexander J. Martin
      Pint

      Re: Meta the Author

      Any and all Nick Cave references worth one of these ->

    2. 9Rune5

      Re: Meta the Author

      "Go to San Francisco, spend a year in outer space, with a sweet little San Franciscan girl."

      I have only been to SF once and it was bloody cold (and windy). The locals claimed it was like that all the time.

      Which raises a problem, vis-a-vis your suggestion: The sweet girls tend to be wrapped up in several layers of clothing. So, how to determine their degree of sweetness? Granted, you did throw in the modifier "little", but you still run the risk of ending up with a fat little dwarf.

      Or do you claim that all SF girls are sweet (and little)?

      I'm from Norway, so I should know the answer to the question I pose, but I ended up marrying a girl from Georgia where it is probably +30 degrees Celcius right now. I.e. at some point I simply gave up sorting through all those layers of clothing and looked elsewhere. (even though I am technically out of the running, I am still curious about the answer)

      1. Fungus Bob Silver badge

        Re: Meta the Author

        Permanent magnet motor is the answer, you asked the Wrong Question.

        1. Chemical Bob

          Re: Meta the Author

          or was it an Indian named Timmy......

      2. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Meta the Author

        Must be in Batumi...

  13. theOtherJT
    WTF?

    It's too early in the morning for this sort of thing.

    I need a coffee.

  14. JeffyPoooh Silver badge
    Pint

    We'll figure it out...

    ...In about 10^77 years.

    Or five weeks. Whichever comes first.

  15. Mage Silver badge

    I dunno

    makes as much sense as the BBC generally does.

  16. Harvey Trowell
    WTF?

    it's alright

    Craig Wright, saved my life

    And if Craig Wright, saved your life

    Or got you back with your ex-wife

    Sing Craig Wright, Craig Wright, it's alright

  17. Disgruntled of TW
    Pint

    It is definitive ...

    Reality is frequently inaccurate.

  18. carlcarter1
    WTF?

    Explanation

    Came here to hope that someone could explain what on earth I just read...

    Glad everyone else is as confused as I am..

    1. Dr Spork
      FAIL

      Re: Explanation

      Personally more dismayed and disappointed than confused, I think :-|

      Not you, but someone ----->

    2. DropBear Silver badge
      Facepalm

      Re: Explanation

      It is all a bit too Gonzo for my poor 1-bit brain.

  19. Daggerchild Silver badge

    Sparticusomatic

    If I ever invented something this useful, I would make sure lots of gloryhounds on the Internet took the credit, so I could get on with useful work while they got slated/trolled/sued/hacked/renditioned.

    I mean, imagine if you invented bitcoin, *and* you were female...

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Sparticusomatic

      Then I'd have *fantastic* ladyparts I could play with any time I wanted!

      1. Daggerchild Silver badge

        Re: Sparticusomatic

        and RSI :)

  20. FrankAlphaXII Silver badge
    WTF?

    I think I figured it out. aManfromMars is Craig Wright, who just might happen to be Satoshi Nakamoto. Otherwise, the answer is 42.

  21. Chris Miller

    Glad we've got that sorted out

    Now, who is Keyser Söze?

    1. Jason Bloomberg Silver badge

      Re: Glad we've got that sorted out

      Who is Keyser Söze?

      I am. If I can prove I know something you accept that only Keyser Söze would know then you have to accept that as true. That's the basic scam in play here.

      Click the links in the article for the details of the scam and the obfuscation and misdirection being used to hide it.

  22. Alistair Silver badge
    Windows

    Cratoshiag Nakwamorito

    Since the keys don't match, lets try a munge.

    I know I'm low on coffee, but its good to know others are just as confused by this.

  23. Hans Neeson-Bumpsadese Silver badge

    What. The. Actual. F*** ?!?

    That is all

  24. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    article quote: "Bitcoin is built on math. "

    writer could be from US, or just --pretending-- to be ... ?

  25. d3rrial
    Mushroom

    Tiger Blood

    If this guy isn't Charlie Sheen's long lost twin, who is he?

    1. Vic

      Re: Tiger Blood

      If this guy isn't Charlie Sheen's long lost twin, who is he?

      From the article, I'm guessing at Charlie Sheen's dealer...

      Vic.

    2. Chemical Bob

      Re: Tiger Blood

      Carlos Estevez, obviously.

  26. Afernie

    Hmm

    “I was the main part of it, other people helped me. Some people will believe, Some people won’t, and to tell you the truth, I don’t really care" said Wright. To the BBC... and any other news outlet willing to give him the time of day.

  27. TxRx
    WTF?

    are we likely to get a follow up story to this?

    just asking as this article as bizarre as his interview with the Beeb. (which I guess is the point)

  28. Michael H.F. Wilkinson Silver badge
    Coat

    Kilroy was here

    Or wasn't he?

    I know, I know, I know my hair's on fire.

    Your face is melting....

    Did you know that?

    (Doffs hat (Tilley today) to Loudon Wainwright III, and is outahere)

  29. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    I am not Craig White, I am Keyser Söze.

  30. Anonymous Coward
    Pirate

    strange article

    all I can think is somewhere some manchurian terrorist just read that and a light went on in his head...

  31. Munchausen's proxy
    Pint

    My five pound vote is on Verity Stob.

  32. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    I don't know what the author of this is smoking, but...

    whatever it is, it's not as strong as what Craig Wright was smoking when he wrote his blogpost.

  33. Toltec

    Does anybody understand

    Primer?

  34. Herby Silver badge

    Nothing to see here, please go away...

    NSA Nothing NSA to NSA see NSA here, NSA please NSA go NSA away NSA...

  35. GrumpenKraut Silver badge
    Facepalm

    Link to the cp4space blog

    The imposter is a serious fuckmuppet. Neatly pointed out here.

  36. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Craig Wright is amanfrommars

    I can prove it, too. Simply open a shell and enter the following command:

    echo "Craig Wright is amanfrommars"

    See? Computers don't lie.

    Anon, just in case I happen to be Craig Wright

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Craig Wright is amanfrommars

      I see that the thought occurred to some more commentards, too. Well that proves it beyond any doubt, doesn't it?

  37. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    The REAL Craig Wright

    My name is Satoshi Nakamoto. You killed my father. Prepare to die.

  38. Visual Echo
    Thumb Up

    If I'm getting this right, this guy is bona fida smart enough to have done it, and is in possession of one of the original keys. Here he is making fun of the conspiracy theory that came out after he admitted being 'Satoshi', and it's PhD level sarcasm. There will be fallout from this, should be good.

    Oh, by the way, thanks very much! Probably use the coins I mined to buy some nice green solar panels.

  39. Driver's Door

    Poe's Law

    Poe's Law describes this article.

  40. R69

    Whoa this is deep man

    ...too deep!

  41. Jamie Kitson

    Jesus

    I liked the article and got the jokes!

    e3b0c44298fc1c149afbf4c8996fb92427ae41e4649b934ca495991b7852b855

    lol! You really had me there!

  42. Havin_it
    Trollface

    Every one of us has a Craig Wright lurking

    He could be working at Burger King, encrypting your onion rings/

    Or in the parking lot, circling, screaming "I'm Satoshi!" with his firewall down and his server up...

  43. jonathanb Silver badge

    Is he in any way related to the former owner of a second tier football team in Glasgow?

  44. an ominous mass
    Pint

    I think I am

    Craig Wright goes into a bar.

    Sitting there is a man called Descartes

    Rene asks Craig "Drinking ?"

    "Don't think I am" replies Craig at which point he disappears without a puff of smoke

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