back to article Redback sinks fangs into Oz builder's todger

An Aussie builder was the victim of a classic redback spider attack earlier his week when an eight-legged beast sank its fangs into his todger while he sat on a portaloo. The unnamed 21-year-old "tradie" (tradesman) was enjoying an early-morning squat on the mobile dunny at a site in the south of Sydney when the creature …

  1. Little Mouse

    These incidents always make me think of the "Deadly Animals" song - the Scared Weird Little Guys' attempt to woo tourists to their fair land.

    "Come to Australia. You might accidentally get killed."

    1. Voland's right hand Silver badge

      Or Terry Pratchet's take on the subject

      The scene where Death asks for the list of deadly animals followed by the "list" of harmless animals on the last continent is so spot on.

      1. moiety

        Re: Or Terry Pratchet's take on the subject

        "some of the sheep"

        1. Stoneshop Silver badge
          Pirate

          Struan Sutherland's advice to Douglas Adams

          ‘So what do we do if we get bitten by something deadly, then?’ I asked.

          He blinked at me as if I were stupid.

          ‘Well what do you think you do?’ he said. ‘You die of course. That’s what deadly means.’

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      The song you mentioned: Deadly animals song.

    3. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Actually, for me the song that came to mind was a Slim Newton song, "The Redback on the toilet seat".

      I'm surprised it doesn't get a mention.

  2. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Any news on the spider?

    1. Gordon 10 Silver badge
      Childcatcher

      Mummy spider is distraught as she is wondering where that convenient branch she laid all her eggs into has gone.

  3. ZillaOfManilla
    WTF?

    "pressure immobilisation technique"

    "The object of pressure immobilisation is to contain venom within a bitten limb and prevent it from moving through the lymphatic system to the vital organs" In this case its already at the most vital of organs. Ouch

  4. tiggity Silver badge

    obligatory

    Doc, can you get rid of the pain but keep the swelling?

    1. Stoneshop Silver badge

      Re: obligatory

      NSFW

  5. Tom 7 Silver badge

    Please take away the pain

    but leave the swelling.

    As a curled up friend of mine asked a doctor after a motorbike accident left him somewhat enhanced.

  6. Sir Barry

    Suck

    I wouldn't want to have to suck the venom out like you do with snakes...

    1. hplasm Silver badge
      Coat

      Re: Suck

      Paint some stripes on it- then it's just like a snake, so the technique will be similar...

  7. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    What a dick...

  8. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Not the title you are looking for.

    "Typically they were using the toilet. But it’s much less common now, I can’t think of a case."

    Yeah, if I was in Oz I wouldn't use the toilet either.

  9. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    but what was the IT angle?

    good story though...

    1. TRT Silver badge

      Re: but what was the IT angle?

      The IT angle? Something to do with "the web"?

  10. kmac499

    And the punchline is

    "Sorry; Bruce you're going to die...."

    Which was Gregs closing comment to his lifelong mate Bruce,.having just explained to him that in the absnce of anti-venom the only other option was to suck the poison out..

  11. TRT Silver badge

    I guess that's one fellow who's going to be more than a little ...

    *removes sunglasses*

    ...sore down under.

    *Frreeeoooowwww! Guitar chords*

  12. Mike Shepherd
    IT Angle

    IT?

    IT?

    1. Lester Haines (Written by Reg staff) Gold badge

      What?

      What? What?

    2. Mike Moyle Silver badge

      Re: IT?

      Because, fortunately, it wasn't

      "Them!

      "THEM!!!"

    3. Captain DaFt

      Re: IT?

      "IT?

      IT?"

      Yes?

  13. JaitcH
    Happy

    A large can of bug spray is as essential as toilet paper in ...

    Johnny On The Spots in the wilder parts of the planet.

    High way convenience stops in Canada suffer from hordes of mosquitoes and blackfly savouring the delights of the toilets. On my hotel build site out here in VietNam, we took the cans of perfume from the automatic dispensers and replaced them with cans of heavy duty bug spray from China - the stuff that's illegal in the West.

    Problem solved.

    Visitors to our country will find 'nerve sprays' (hoses with water spray on the end) which are intended to be used for bug elimination (we have tiled concrete floors with drains).

    1. Triggerfish

      Re: A large can of bug spray is as essential as toilet paper in ...

      Bug sprays not always enough, this lived in my bathroom at one place for a few months

      http://arachnophiliac.info/burrow/caresheets/haplopelma_minax.htm (Also it doesn't live in burrows as that sheet says, it lives on the cistern and stares at you).

      I have also had this walk across my foot while walking barefoot into a toilet.

      http://arachnoboards.com/threads/scolopendra-subspinipes-thai-jewel.110170/ (note the bite report last a few days, someone told me this hurt worse than a snake bite, almost didn't need the toilet visit).

      A friend used to have King Cobras come up through the drainpipes into his bathroom.

  14. Ken Moorhouse Silver badge

    A Safety Helmet...

    ...should be worn at all times whilst on site.

  15. John Brown (no body) Silver badge
    Angel

    So, just a normal sexual encounter then?

    "He said: "You’d experience pain — pain as the venom stimulates the nerves around the bite — along with swelling and increased blood pressure."

    Have I been doing to wrong or something?

  16. MrDamage
    Coat

    The builder posed a question to the docs.

    "Can you take away the pain, but leave the swelling?"

    <- very carefully checking my pockets for spiders before I leave...

    1. Snafu1

      Re: The builder posed a question to the docs.

      How about Flanders & Swann: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nrdpb-jhHP4

  17. TRT Silver badge

    I knew an Australian woman once...

    who got into the shower and a spider fell from the ceiling and bit her on the tit.

    Fangs for the mammary.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: I knew an Australian woman once...

      Thanks for keeping us abreast of that danger.

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