back to article Colander-wearing Irishman denied driver's licence in Pastafarian slapdown

Ireland’s anti-discrimination quango has rejected claims that Pastafarianism is a religion after an Irishman insisted on wearing a colander for his driving licence photograph. Two followers of the church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster celebrated the first officially sanctioned Pastafarian wedding in New Zealand earlier this …

  1. Gwaptiva

    Obviously a parody

    No, to qualify as a religion you have to believe in normal rational things like virgin births, spontaneously combusting shrubberies and mountaineering aphorisms

    1. John Robson Silver badge

      Re: Obviously a parody

      It's a parody because it was set up as one.

      What scuppered him here was admitting that he didn't wear the colander to work, or on social occasions. It is therefore not a core tenet that it is always worn, so removing it for a photograph is clearly acceptable.

      1. hplasm Silver badge
        Devil

        Re: Obviously a parody

        "t's a parody because it was set up as one."

        Said the Jews about Christianity.

        1. Mage Silver badge
          Alien

          Re: Obviously a parody

          No, almost all the first Christians WERE Jews.

          Only Pastafarianism was set up as a parody, due to the minority of Christians with unrepresentative (in Christian terms) views and too much power in some USA schools.

          Sadly that misguided minority of Christians were unaffected and now too many people are taking Pastafarianism too seriously. Along with Homoeopathy, crystals, "angels", electro-sensitivity and loads of other stuff even nuttier than some of the minority extreme Christian views. Or people that think 911 was the CIA, the moon landings faked and coca-cola is a contraceptive.

          See snopes.com

          And the Randi foundation.

          The problem is obviously gullible people.

          1. x 7

            Re: Obviously a parody

            "coca-cola is a contraceptive"

            it is! Watch through a microscope while you dunk some sperm in coke.

            And it works as a douche - warm litre bottle of coke, heavily shaken and correctly placed cleans, refreshes and sterilises

    2. Timpatco

      Re: Obviously a parody

      Not forgetting chatty Salamanders. Many religions have prospered by a little suave rewriting of the rules. Constantine, King Jim and Joe Smith spring to mind, the gospel according to pasta is in the offing. Furthermore, many accepted religions allow the cloth of conviction to be displayed When and Where the devoted followers so choose. To be true to the cause of passage along the enlightened path of "al dente" the humble but blessed colander is fitting garb.

  2. David Nash Silver badge

    I'm sympathetic to the FSM cause but I don't think they do it any favours by such claims quoted as "We are fond of beer" or "Every Friday is a religious holiday"

    Someone should ask these authorities what their definition of a non-parody religion is. The answer would probably be "I know it when I see it"

    1. Androgynous Cupboard Silver badge

      Quite right too. Everyone knows Saturday is the only acceptable day for a religious holiday. Or maybe it's Sunday? I'm not sure if I'm honest, but whatever it is I am certain that Friday is completely unacceptable.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        "[...] but whatever it is I am certain that Friday is completely unacceptable."

        The Jewish Shabbat runs from sundown Friday to sundown Saturday.

  3. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Pastafarianism is no less true than any other religion. It is, I hope, more fun than most and I think therein lays the problem. I have no doubt that it is a less effective control mechanism than most others, too.

    1. Emmeran

      The problem appears to be that we don't mandate Pasta and Beer on Fridays, if we force the congregation to modify their behavior we would be acting more like a true religion.

      1. Rich 11 Silver badge

        if we force the congregation to modify their behaviour

        Which is the first step on the road to recognising blasphemy and heresy, with a short hop from there to execution in the name of Dolmio.

        (I've just been reading about Theodosius and his imposition of a state religion. It all happened in a remarkably short time.)

      2. Dr Scrum Master

        The problem appears to be that we don't mandate Pasta and Beer on Fridays

        Do that and I'll break away from your heretical doctrine to keep the true faith alive.

        Pasta should only ever be accompanied by a fine bottle of red wine.

  4. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    He should write to the ECHR, the penne is mightier than the sword. He should do it straight away or he would have pasta chance at getting his licence.

    1. I ain't Spartacus Gold badge
      Coat

      It's all a fusilli about nothing...

  5. Jason Bloomberg Silver badge
    Facepalm

    I am usually happy to make reasonable exceptions for people's beliefs when sincerely held, religious or otherwise, but that doesn't seem to be the case here. He failed to provide evidence that wearing the colander is essential to his beliefs and, on the contrary, demonstrates that it isn't.

    Case closed; file under, "trying it on/taking the piss".

    If people want to take FSM as a serious religion then that's fine by me, but they should be serious in doing so.

    1. kryptonaut
      Pirate

      Yes, his argument was clearly full of holes.

    2. Androgynous Cupboard Silver badge

      Shurely he should point out that the ultra-orthodox pastafarians believe the holy colander(*) is only to be worn at home?

      * works on many levels.

      (edit @kryptonaut: snap)

      1. moiety

        Shurely he should point out that the ultra-orthodox pastafarians believe the holy colander(*) is only to be worn at home?

        Yeah, but where's the photo booth he had his licence photo taken in? Could be a built-in self-checkmate there...

      2. alain williams Silver badge

        Where he must wear the colander ...

        Shurely he should point out that the ultra-orthodox pastafarians believe the holy colander(*) is only to be worn at home?

        In that case he does not need to wear the colander for his driving license - unless he lives in a motor-home.

        Surely everyone can see that a colander is a holey item!

      3. Orecchiette

        I wear my pastafarian headgear every day, for half an hour while I pray and I wear it in public for official photographs that I then keep in my wallet in my pocket in order to spread the good word without being a nuisance. Police people and security guards are the most in need of the good word and the good word is "AAAAaaargh!!!!"

    3. Archie Woodnuts

      Problem

      "If people want to take FSM as a serious religion then that's fine by me, but they should be serious in doing so."

      Pastafarians reject dogma and formalism thus, by not being serious, they're actually being more devout. Gets you coming and going, just like a real religion.

    4. Captain DaFt

      "If people want to take FSM as a serious religion then that's fine by me, but they should be serious in doing so."

      Nope. No 'serious' pastafinarian takes anything seriously.

  6. graeme leggett

    Uncanny

    It's like these legal types work together to come up with the same conclusion. Conspiracy!

    http://montrealgazette.com/news/local-news/judge-scolds-pastafarian-over-permission-to-wear-pirate-hat-on-drivers-licence

    http://www.theregister.co.uk/2016/04/14/flying_spaghetti_monster_is_not_god_rules_mortal_judge/

  7. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Well

    What is the difference between a "parody" religion and a religion founded on plagiarism ? Obviously FSM has a basis in plagiarism - sky entity, holidays, etc - just like all current religions are based on stolen concepts going back before stenciled clay chicken scratch. Who is to say that all modern religions aren't some kind of parody? Who was there when a brain made them up and stole from their predecessors? So, right, no one knows.

    Watch, in a hundred years, FSM will become this serious thing that people kill others for and it started as a parody with plagiarized religious concepts. Just like every other major religion. " When the FSM comes back, and he will, soon, he is gonna be pissed because you didn't wear your colander to services on Friday. Yer heading for the scalding pot of boiling water under the earth, you are."

    I applaud this guy for taking it as far as he did. It is a public service for reason that he endured the hardship of not driving for so long to make his, well, point.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Well

      I cant wait.

      The Tagliatellians at war with the Spaghetti's, as the Spaghetti's don't believe that the claim of the Tagliatellians reduction of salt in the water doesn't affect the taste.

      Then and only then will it be a true religion.

    2. Hans Neeson-Bumpsadese Silver badge

      Re: Well

      For an interesting view on the foundation of religion, Will Self's "The Book Of Dave" makes for a good read

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Well

        "For an interesting view on the foundation of religion, [..]"

        There is also Frazer's "The Golden Bough". I like the one where they appoint a religious leader who then lives a life of comparative luxury and ease ...until too many natural disasters suggest his power is waning and they get rid of him with extreme prejudice. That would give modern clerics a pause for thought.

    3. John Brown (no body) Silver badge

      Re: Well

      "I applaud this guy for taking it as far as he did. It is a public service for reason that he endured the hardship of not driving for so long to make his, well, point."

      It does, in reality, raise a very good point by forcing these government bodies to actually *think* about what a religion is and which ones may or may not have special dispensations. Scientology comes to mind as being recognised in some jurisdictions as a religion and as merely as a cult of nutters in most others, The arguments raised against Pastefarianism (all hail his noodly appendages!) can apply equally against most religions but most especially against new modern cults like scientology.

      Bootnote

      My spellchecker wants to "correct" Pastefarianism with Egalitarianism, which I find both amusing and appropriate.

  8. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Ex Pastafarian

    If you renounce your belief in the FSM does that make you an apastate?

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Ex Pastafarian

      an apasta ..... and you are excommunicated to live a life of eating only insects.... with no sauce. Or not.. your choice.

      1. Chemical Bob

        Re: Ex Pastafarian

        "you are excommunicated to live a life of eating only insects...."

        So no different than being a single guy.

    2. Psmiffy

      Re: Ex Pastafarian

      Surely it makes you an anti-pasta?

      1. Hans Neeson-Bumpsadese Silver badge

        Re: Anti-pasta

        "Surely it makes you an anti-pasta?"

        and that's just for starters

    3. Mutton Jeff

      Re: Ex Pastafarian

      I think the correct term could be "apestotate"

      1. John Brown (no body) Silver badge
        Flame

        Re: Ex Pastafarian

        I think the correct term could be "apestotate"

        No! It's definitely "apastatate" Burn the splitters!

    4. Any mouse Cow turd

      Re: Ex Pastafarian

      The Church of the FSM is the only religion to offer a 30-day God back guarantee. Try out pastafarianism for 30 days and if you're not happy your old God will take you back.

  9. John H Woods Silver badge

    There's always ...

    ... a few silly comments

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: There's always ... a few silly comments

      Indeed. Us followers of the Cult of Sushi Dog would never deflate ourselves to that level.

  10. Stratman

    The RSA could have entered into the spirit of things

    and required him to wear the colander while driving

    1. moiety

      Re: The RSA could have entered into the spirit of things

      A Russian judge already did that joke.

  11. kryptonaut

    Relations

    Relations between the Pastafarian community and the Road Safety Authority are said to be "strained."

    1. Hans Neeson-Bumpsadese Silver badge
      Coat

      Re: Relations

      Well, that story about the colander was never going to hold water was it?

    2. Alister Silver badge

      Re: Relations

      I would have thought it would be obvious to even the most hidebound civil servant that his headgear is clearly holey...

  12. Florida1920 Silver badge
    Coat

    Clothing optional

    If he'd said he believed that during the time of the dinosaurs, billions of people landed on Teegeeack (that's Earth to you, unbelievers), then got blown up with nukes while standing around volcanoes .... they would have let him pose for his photo in his magic underwear. No human endeavor is more deserving of parody than religion.

    The one with my thetan in the pocket.

    1. I ain't Spartacus Gold badge

      Re: Clothing optional

      I thought it was the Mormons who had the magic underwear?

      1. Florida1920 Silver badge

        Re: Clothing optional

        I thought it was the Mormons who had the magic underwear?

        There's a significant difference?

      2. Chemical Bob
        WTF?

        Re: Clothing optional

        "I thought it was the Mormons who had the magic underwear?"

        Haven't you heard of Underoos?!

  13. Bibbit

    Maybe he should try this?

    A nice plate of Strozzapreti - Romagnan pasta that translates as "strangle the priest".

  14. NotSure

    And why would someone's belief in the Linguini lord, Pasta Prophets, Holy Minestrone, Angel hair, spaghetti Sabbath, Fettuccini Friars be denied them.

    It is amazing as children we are told about the tooth fairy, sandman, monsters, Santa clause, Easter bunny, and all the religions. Then, when we are "Old enough" to understand we are told that they are all make believe, except of course for the religion...that of course is less preposterous than the others, and is real...

    How old must we be, and who will tell us, when we are ready, that it is all BS, designed to make us obedient...

    Sure, follow gods laws, if you don't then you will go to a bad place after you die. So don't be mad if the ones at the top are evil, terrorists, fascist treasonous thugs, traitors and sick club members, yeah, god will deal with them once they are done hurting people in this realm...so no need to rise up, or protest, or seek new leaders. all is good...

    This is why religion exists.

    If you believe in god, which I think may be possible, but I am making no bets on it, then treat it like picking your nose:

    Don't do it in public

    Don't wipe it all over other people

    Wash the filth off afterwards

    Don't listen to anybody who knows the best way to pick, or where to wipe it

    If God exists then IT is NOTHING like those who wish to control us or the parasites who leach off of us portray, as by definition the mind would be incapable of comprehending a being outside of a linear time/fixed space 4 dimensional universal experience perspective.

    I am not a member or the order of meatballs and spaghetti.

    But you may refer to me as Monsignor mostaccioli, Boiled off of the great Friar Fettuccini, and Baked with the Great Dal ilasagna himself while under the watchful all seeing eye of Rabi rigatoni

    "

    Joe was about to learn, that in the future, justice was not only blind, but had become rather retarded as well.

    You think Einstein walked around thinking everyone was a bunch of dumb-shits? Now you know why he built that bomb.

  15. Blofeld's Cat
    Coat

    Perhaps ...

    He could always go for a compromise and have the "Invisible Pink Unicorn" in his photograph.

  16. x 7

    personally I feel the Pastafarians have it all wrong. These European religions have misunderstood the teachings of the Chinese Flying Noodle worshipers. These mystics have extensive writings, but are badly translated.

    There most well-known acts are sustained periods of naked sun worship, otherwise known as noodling. A lesser known practice is wearing clothing made from knitted noodles, used on long journeys and providing both warmth and food. Especially favourite and worn by men are reinforced dried cod-noodles, used as protection and requiring a lot of chewing when eaten

  17. JustNiz

    Surely the thing that defines a religion is sincere belief, nothing else.

    If you sincerely believe in something/anything then who are "they" to say it is or isn't legitimately a religion?

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      "Surely the thing that defines a religion is sincere belief, nothing else"

      Well that lets out the majority of people who say they are religious. It's mostly lip service to the shibboleths of your childhood insecurity that has become your adult identity.

      The only sincerely held views are the personal social prejudices that they can then claim are authorised by their dogma.

      1. John Brown (no body) Silver badge

        Considering that forgiveness is one of the prime tenets of Christianity, my personal experience of having rows with other people, the Catholics are the one most likely to hold onto a grudge and never "make up".

    2. Velv Silver badge

      "Surely the thing that defines a religion is sincere belief, nothing else.

      If you sincerely believe in something/anything then who are "they" to say it is or isn't legitimately a religion?"

      And there in lies the problem - what if your sincere "belief" is that some element of society is wrong and that it's your duty to execute them. Does that grant you the freedom to follow your religion?

      There needs to be a consensus of acceptable behaviour, and Pastafarianism is a political tool to show a mirror to religion and religious beliefs. If there is anyone on the planet who truly believes in the FSM then they've missed the point completely.

  18. Nehmo

    Laws are supposed to be objective, and the Supreme Court of the US has stated that a religion needn't be "comprehensible", but the same decision weighed the security interest of prison authorities vs. religious freedom. It said if the freedom interests didn't interfere with the security ones, then the religious freedom should prevail. It then found places where it did, such as allowing candles in the prisoner's cell.

    Anyway, the FSM religion's tenant is to parody other religions. Parody is acceptable. Indeed, it's even comprehensible. Thus, it should prevail as long as it doesn't interfere with other legitimate state interests.

  19. Barry Mahon
    WTF?

    I se the Gregorian calendar has been reintroduced, today is now April 1.

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