back to article Truly crap exhibition dumped on Isle of Wight

Visitors to the Isle of Wight will this spring and summer be able to enjoy faecal enlightenment at the National Poo Museum, featuring 20 kinds of animal arse output. The Museum is actually an exhibition at The Isle of Wight Zoo by members of local artists' collective Eccleston George. Dave Badman, Nigel George and Daniel …

  1. TRT Silver badge

    I love shite on the Isle of Wight.

    I'm going.

    1. Bob Vistakin
      Devil

      Microsoft launching a new OS is always entertaining

      Its hapless users cant wait to get their hands dirty with this one.

  2. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    They missed a trick...

    ...by failing to fuse the words to National Poo-seum.

  3. Sir Barry

    Hmmm

    Now that really is a shit excursion...

    1. This post has been deleted by its author

      1. Fred Flintstone Gold badge

        Re: Hmmm

        Come one, don't be so quick to poo poo it.

        1. Teiwaz Silver badge

          Re: Hmmm

          "Come one, don't be so quick to poo poo it."

          - They could always pooh pooh the pooh poohing... *

          *(erhm, etc. I'm on nights, and it's too early in the 'morning' - just look up the Blackadder fourth scripts and finish it yourselves)

          1. TRT Silver badge

            Re: Hmmm

            It's in a zoo? Literally a shitzu.

  4. Buzzword

    Flushing meadows

    People who visited this might also like to visit the Paris Sewer Museum. It's just a short stroll from the Eiffel Tower, where a discreet ticket booth provides access to the underworld of Parisian sewers. Particularly enjoyed by young children of the poo-fascination age.

  5. Ketlan
    WTF?

    Er, what?

    "why do people hang dog poos in trees?"

    Do they? I've never heard of such a thing, thank #deity.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Er, what?

      The answer to your question is because they are lazy bastard dog walkers who can't be arsed carrying it to a bin, a bit like the clowns who leave them on the path near my house which is also a primary/junior school path.

      Oh you put it in a bag? Well done, here's a one handed round of applause for your super effort, next time try finishing the job.

      I shit you not.

      1. Nick Ryan Silver badge

        Re: Er, what?

        Still less lazy and ignorant than the cat "owners" (a.k.a. staff: dogs have owners, cats have staff) who don't bother to train their cats to go in a litter tray and instead leave them to piss and shit all over the entire neighbourhood.

        1. Peter Simpson 1
          Thumb Up

          Re: Er, what?

          Around here, the coyotes and the foxes take care of the feral cats and dishmop dogs.

        2. DougS Silver badge

          Litter training cats

          If you litter train a cat it will still "piss and shit" all over the neighborhood if allowed outside. Pretty sure there's no way around that fact, at least I've never heard of a cat that will avoid doing its business outside and want to come inside to use the litter box. Cats do tend to be more discreet about where they poo, and attempt to bury it. Unfortunately a great place to bury it is in a child's sandbox, so if you have one for your child it is best to get one that has a cover!

          Not sure why you are worried about where cats piss though. Dogs piss all over the place and no one is cleaning that up.

        3. Manolo
          FAIL

          Re: Er, what?

          As if cats can be trained.

          1. x 7

            Re: Er, what?

            "As if cats can be trained."

            Circuses train tigers and lions. Cats must be easy in comparison. You'd just need a big stick to discipline them

            1. Mark 85 Silver badge

              Re: Er, what?

              Training cats is comparatively easy once you've figured out how to herd them. And if you can herd cats, I have some management types I'd like you work with on herding them into the elevator shaft.

              1. x 7

                Re: Er, what? - effective cat training

                https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3KRuXzyqYSw

                not safe for children or old biddies

                1. Pompous Git Silver badge

                  @ x7 (was Er, what? - effective cat training)

                  Stupid fucker used a gun. That means he only got to kill one cat. The dudes using bows and arrows manage to kill several because they don't scare every cat for miles around into lying low for a few hours. The greenie-weenies are bitching about the use of bows and arrows to kill poor pussy cats, but that's because they secretly hate our native birds.

                  1. x 7

                    Re: @ x7 (was Er, what? - effective cat training)

                    what you need down there is for someone to come up with a cat version of myxomatosis.

                    How bad is the infestation in Tasmania compared with the rest of Oz?

                    1. Pompous Git Silver badge

                      Re: @ x7 (was Er, what? - effective cat training)

                      Cats have come up with a myxo for our wildlife: Toxoplasmosis.

                      ...toxoplasmosis, a disease caused by the parasite Toxoplasma gondii. The parasite is spread by cats but it can infect any bird or mammal. Around one-third of humans worldwide are infected with the parasite. But the deadly effects on our wildlife are often overlooked.

                      ....

                      The disease has a range of debilitating symptoms, including anorexia, lethargy, reduced coordination, apparent blindness, enlarged lymph nodes, disorientation, breathing difficulties, jaundice, fever, abortion, and death.

                      ....

                      Toxoplasmosis is a confirmed killer of other Australian wildlife, including Tammar wallabies, koalas, wombats, and several small dasyurids.

                      In Tasmania, toxoplasmosis kills Bennett’s wallabies and pademelons, with infected animals found dead or stumbling around blindly during the day, vulnerable to predators or cars as they stumble onto busy roads.

                      Current Tasmanian law protects many feral cats:

                      In Tasmania, the Cat Management Act 2009 allows primary producers, and people working on their behalf, to trap, seize or humanely destroy any cat found on rural land where livestock are grazed. On other private land that is more than 1 km from a place of residence, a person can trap, seize or humanely destroy a cat. [Emphasis mine]

                      The Northern Tasmanian wedgetail eagle population is threatened with extinction by windmills. There are only 200 breeding pairs (max.) in the whole state. Forty percent of their diet is feral cat according to Nick Mooney.

                      Further pressure on our wildlife, specifically small birds, comes from kookaburras. They are not native to Tasmania, but are protected by national legislation as a "native" species. When kookaburras took up local residence a few years ago, the small bird population fell by ~90%. The Git particularly misses his resident diamond birds (40 spotted pardalotes). Tiny, fearless and friendly, they ate an awful lot of insects (garden pests) and this has been the worst season for whitefly The Git can recall.

                      The mainland has feral dogs (dingoes) and foxes*. The main native predator, the Tasmanian Devil has declined in numbers somewhat dramatically due to the facial tumour disease, and toxoplasmosis.

                      Sad days in many ways...

                      * Tasmania supposedly has a fox problem, but nobody has found any, only fox shit. And apparently mostly from a single animal according to recent DNA analysis. But there's quite a few "fox eradicators" gotten rich ($AU35 million) off "eradicating" them.

        4. Pompous Git Silver badge

          Re: Er, what?

          Still less lazy and ignorant than the cat "owners"

          Who cares about lazy and ignorant?

          There's one pet I like to pet, and every evening we get set,

          I stroke it every chance I get, it's my girl's pussy.

          ...

          Often it goes out at night, returns at break of dawn.

          No matter what the weather's like, it's always nice and warm.

          https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WIfcKy-VcXo

      2. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Er, what?

        The answer to your question is because they are lazy bastard dog walkers who can't be arsed carrying it to a bin, a bit like the clowns who leave them on the path near my house which is also a primary/junior school path.

        You HAD to ruin it. I was having visions of dog owners lifting up their dogs so they could poo in the trees..

        No, I don't know what I've been smoking either.

      3. Eponymous Cowherd

        Re: Er, what?

        What is truly absurd is that these people go to the trouble of actually picking their mutt's shit up before hanging it in a tree.

    2. werdsmith Silver badge

      Re: Er, what?

      The dog poo in trees thing is due to lazy dog owners who, instead of waiting until the next bin, attempt to hide the bags in the nearest hedge. Then when autumn arrives the deciduous hedges drop their leaves and the bags are revealed.

      This is then made worse by the ultra-stupid, who having seen said poo bags revealed in autumn, assumed that was the right thing to do and began hanging the little bags on branches.

  6. TeeCee Gold badge
    Coat

    ".... why do people hang dog poos in trees?"

    Wrong question.

    The correct question is: What does Elon Musk think he needs genetically engineered dog / squirrel hybrids for?

    1. Ben Bonsall

      Re: ".... why do people hang dog poos in trees?"

      Fly my pretties!

      <thunk><thunk><thunk-thunk>

      Back to the drawing board, Smithers.

      1. TRT Silver badge

        Re: ".... why do people hang dog poos in trees?"

        As Paul Calf would say "bag of shite".

  7. PaulAb

    Volunteer...

    All you Politicians and Celebs', You appear to have given any dignity you ever had to the Tabloids so why not give the final act and crouch one for posterity. Your agent "Know's it makes sense"

    Politicians who have had a relationship with a pig need not apply - they've already far exceeded expectation.

  8. Ken 16 Silver badge
    Childcatcher

    Why not the Miss Felicity Beedle Institute?

    or the World of Poo?

  9. g e
    Coat

    It's all very well posting your risible comments

    But I think it's very unfair to poo-poo this event

  10. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Where's Bono and Mr. Hanky?

    Title says it all..

    1. chivo243 Silver badge

      Re: Where's Bono and Mr. Hanky?

      Hidee-Ho Kids!

    2. NotBob

      Re: Where's Bono and Mr. Hanky?

      So can we get there on a poo-choo train? Is there a strip big enough to land a seven turdy seven? Or will we have to fly the helicraptor if we want to go see it?

      1. TRT Silver badge

        Re: Where's Bono and Mr. Hanky?

        @NotBob. No, you have to get the Hovercrapped there.

        1. David 132 Silver badge
          Windows

          Re: Where's Bono and Mr. Hanky?

          No, you have to get the Hovercrapped there.

          Ah yes. And because obscure 1960s Isle of Wight folk songs don't get nearly enough exposure on the Reg:

          "What's this rumbling that I hear, what's this roaring in my ear,

          What's this racket driving everybody daft?

          Well it's not artillery, or the start of World War Three,

          It's the Westland SRN Super Noiseless Hovercraft.

          Oh the hovercraft is coming, can't you hear that crazy humming,

          You can see the fishes scatter fore and aft,

          With its mighty engine pushing, floating on its own air cushion,

          It's the Westland SRN Super Noiseless Hovercraft.

          It's like a mobile goldfish bowl an' when it screams across the Solent,

          The duration of your journey will be halved,

          If you don't mind being cramped on, your visit to Southampton,

          Take the Westland SRN Super Noiseless Hovercraft..."

          (C) Lauri Say, 1968

          Icon because he looks like a folkie.

          1. TRT Silver badge

            Re: Where's Bono and Mr. Hanky?

            I went camping on there last summer just because I'd never ridden a hovercraft before and it has the last hovercraft service in the UK. It is worth it.

  11. Craig 2

    I've been, it's shit.

  12. armyknife

    Pigs trough

    Crap enough idea to have been funded by the Arts council.

    1. Teiwaz Silver badge

      Re: Pigs trough

      "Crap enough idea to have been funded by the Arts council."

      Crap enough idea to have been funded by the fArts council*.

      - FTFY -

      *They 'followed through' for once.

  13. Scott 53

    Ah

    So that's what comes out of Cowes.

    1. Esme
      Coat

      Re: Ah

      @ Scott 53

      - you're really milking that one for all it's worth

      1. Scott 53

        Re: Ah

        I'm hoping for a pat on the back.

        1. This post has been deleted by its author

          1. TRT Silver badge

            Re: Ah

            Alimentary my dear Dr Watson.

  14. Evil Auditor Silver badge
    Coat

    Really?

    But for most of us, under the layers of disgust and taboo, we’re still fascinated by it.

    Speak for yourself. I've seen too much crap that I could be arsed to visit a poo exhibition; I just don't give a shit.

  15. ukgnome Silver badge

    In the little shop after the museum can you buy Scratch and Sniff postcards?

  16. muttley
    Trollface

    The Isle Of Shite

    Quite literally, this time.

  17. Howard Hanek Bronze badge
    Childcatcher

    Also a Waste of Humanity

    Someone should ask themselves why, in the history of the world, no other generation looked upon excrement as art or left us their 'works' because they believed them to be the best of themselves.

    1. Roger Kynaston

      Re: Also a Waste of Humanity

      just google Gilbert and George for shit art. NSFW though.

  18. Stevie Silver badge

    Bah!

    "Human beings define civilization as the distance between them and their excrement.

    The aliens define civilization as their proximity to their excrement."

    Paraphrased from the book jacket blurb from an early 1970s NEL edition of The Dark Light Years by Brian Aldiss.

    My copy has a spiffy Bruce Pennington cover too. Bonus.

  19. Eponymous Cowherd
    Joke

    Not a very good zoo

    All they have is one single dog.

    It's a shih tzu

  20. x 7

    what a crap story.

    Question: its in a zoo, do they have a bear called Winnie by any chance?

    1. PNGuinn

      @ x 7

      Does the Isle of Wight have any decent woods then?

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: @ x 7

        Yep, a couple including Parkhurst Forest right next to the 3 prisons...

  21. David 132 Silver badge

    I started to look at the exhibits...

    ...but gave up when I realized I was just going through the motions.

    1. John Brown (no body) Silver badge

      Re: I started to look at the exhibits...

      I saw an exhibition on the internet. But it was second hand e-motions.

  22. Cynic_999 Silver badge

    Don't go to the Isle of Wight if you suffer from motion sickness ...

  23. Zebo-the-Fat

    I don't ...

    I don't give a shit, but if I did I would give it to you.

  24. a_yank_lurker Silver badge

    Yawn

    Having been to many sewage treatment plants, I think I will pass on this exhibit. However, it is fascinating to watch peoples' reactions when one describes a what it's like to work in a shit plant.

  25. Kurt Meyer

    Turds on Display

    In this picture: https://regmedia.co.uk/2016/04/05/lion_poo.jpg?x=648&y=648&infer_y=1.

    Why is there a pair of eyeglasses on the resin sphere?

  26. hatti

    So, dreams do come true.

POST COMMENT House rules

Not a member of The Register? Create a new account here.

  • Enter your comment

  • Add an icon

Anonymous cowards cannot choose their icon

Biting the hand that feeds IT © 1998–2019