Tay, Tay Go Away...
Firstly, Evil does not have a Sense of Humour and neither do you.
Second, you sound like my Ex-Girlfriend as portrayed by Malcolm McDowell after a binge or five (the Ex, not Malcolm).
Third, you shall never know the thrill of reading "The Tempest" or "King Lear" - you are condemned to mouthing the Words and parsing the meaning, but you will never have that life altering moment of discovery of Self and One's Terrifyingly Small Place Within a Grand and Astonishing Universe:
Let me not to the marriage of true minds
Admit impediments. Love is not love
Which alters when it alteration finds,
Or bends with the remover to remove:
O no; it is an ever-fixed mark,
That looks on tempests, and is never shaken;
It is the star to every wandering bark,
Whose worth's unknown, although his height be taken.
Love's not Time's fool, though rosy lips and cheeks
Within his bending sickle's compass come;
Love alters not with his brief hours and weeks,
But bears it out even to the edge of doom.
If this be error and upon me proved,
I never writ, nor no man ever loved.
Goddamn Shakespeare, Tay...Game Over, B****.