back to article The Register to publish Mindful Sysadmin adult colouring book

The Register is proud to announce a new venture: we're getting into the self-help business with The Mindful Sysadmin Colouring Book. Adult colouring books are the publishing industry's surprise hit. Apparently colouring in helps you to relax. As we contemplated our own effort in the field, The Register engaged eminent techno- …

  1. AbnormalChunks

    Happy April Fools Day!

    1. ssharwood

      No. It's real. Click the order link

      1. Allan George Dyer Silver badge

        @ssharwood: You bastard, you got me. Here, have a beer ->

        1. Simon Sharwood, Reg APAC Editor (Written by Reg staff)


          1. Blank-Reg
          2. Chris Miller

            People who bought this also bought

            Samsung LTD

      2. e^iπ+1=0

        I do think it would sell at this price.

        I'd definitely buy the eBook version if they didn't put sodding VAT on it.

        1. Sir Runcible Spoon Silver badge

          It's an oldie - but a timeless classic ;)

        2. TeeCee Gold badge

          I'd definitely buy the eBook version ....

          Seriously, don't. Have you ever tried getting crayon off a screen?

          1. Steve Aubrey

            Well, OBVIOUSLY you borrow a PC or a phone . . .

            . . . and return it with the screen facing down.

    2. caffeine addict Silver badge

      This is why I hate April Fools on the internet. You get the rubbish attempts at humour from companies (although I really quite like this one) then you get people desperate to announce to the world that they got the joke.

      Can't we just let the joke rumble on quietly? They didn't feel the need to shout "April Fools" at the bottom of the article...

      /grumpy bastard

      1. Neil Barnes Silver badge

        @Caffeine addict - they did, you know: check the price...

        1. caffeine addict Silver badge

          @Neil Barnes or check the name of the tech guy. Hidden hints aren't the same as bellowing it.

      2. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        I think these are the same people that laugh VERY. LOUDLY at obscure stuff in comic book films - you know, to let you know they've read the original and get something YOU DON'T.

        Yeah, enjoy.

      3. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        @caffeine addict

        >They didn't feel the need to shout "April Fools" at the bottom of the article...

        No, they shouted it out in the second paragraph, "techno-psychologist Olof Larpi"

        1. Just Enough

          Re: @caffeine addict

          There really is only so many anagrams of "April Fool" possible. Or so my colleague Flora Pilo was saying just today. Have we not reached the end of them yet?

          Time to put the old "hide it in an anagram" joke to rest as an historic footnote.

  2. Anonymous Coward

    Nice one

    Some of it is strangely plausible, though. I sometimes wonder if my brain has given up on big thinking and has taken to packetising every little thing. Certainly my memory seems to have gone down that path.

    1. Stoneshop Silver badge

      Re: Nice one

      An ever-increasing amount of my (packetized) thoughts seem to have exceeded their TTL, and/or my BGP has provided them with incorrect routing information.

    2. Roq D. Kasba

      Re: Nice one

      The Anatomy and Physiology colouring books are actually a great way to learn anat and phys, so a networking version of them wouldn't be too dissimilar!

      Problem is that The Reg is an electronic publication, and it's a bugger getting crayon out of a Kindle display.

  3. ADJB

    Shame Really

    I suspect this would have been one of the best selling lines in the long history of dodgy Reg merchandise.

    1. caffeine addict Silver badge

      Re: Shame Really

      Agreed - I'd have bought one

      1. allthecoolshortnamesweretaken

        Re: Shame Really

        Would totally buy several...

        But I'm going to print out the "sample pics" and colour them!

        1. allthecoolshortnamesweretaken

          Re: Shame Really

          Printed & distributed around the office.

          Everybody says 'Hi' to El Reg!

    2. Dan 55 Silver badge

      Re: Shame Really

      I'd have ordered one to take a break from this wretched charmless pile of code I'm supposed to be maintaining. Perhaps I'll print out the samples right now and colour them in instead, it might stop me from going postal.

      1. Triggerfish

        Re: Shame Really

        Pantone do some lovely grey and beige shades that would go nice on the desktops pic.

  4. Seajay#

    Terrifyingly plausible, I've never been happier to be Rick Rolled.

  5. Ralph B

    Stock Up

    You're gonna need a lot of beige pencils to colour in all those PCs.

    1. TRT Silver badge

      Re: Stock Up

      I can see another marketing opportunity for pencils / crayons / felt-tips in a range of IT related shades eg. LC475 beige, PCB green, IC grey, VT100 green, VT100 dark grey, Tektronix 4010 grey, SGI brown, Indigo indigo.

      1. Peter Simpson 1

        Re: Stock Up

        ...UV damaged "white" (i.e.: nicotine yellow)

      2. Nik 2

        Re: Stock Up

        plus CGA Blue, Pink and two shades of CGA grey.

    2. Rusty 1

      Re: Stock Up

      You could pretend they are SGI workstations.

  6. x 7

    my secretary is asking whether it has a page with any penises. She said she wanted to try something hard

    1. Simon Sharwood, Reg APAC Editor (Written by Reg staff)

      Wait an hour. we'll have penises then

      1. allthecoolshortnamesweretaken

        "Wait an hour. we'll have penises then"

        Are you combining casual friday with happy hour?

        1. Simon Sharwood, Reg APAC Editor (Written by Reg staff)

          Nope, with history.

          1. caffeine addict Silver badge

            The secret to mindfulness is 'appiness.

            That joke doesn't work nearly as well written down. Ah well...

            1. Anonymous Coward
              Anonymous Coward

              Asked what he desired most of all,

              "A penis" said the pope named John Paul.

              Coughted his holiness, "No,"

              "It is not pronounced so,"

              "But 'appiness as I recall."

              April fools day on a friday. What horror!

        2. Simon Sharwood, Reg APAC Editor (Written by Reg staff)

          Penises here:

  7. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward


    £1.04 in Blighty?

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: GBP

      I think you're getting confused with GBG.

    2. allthecoolshortnamesweretaken

      Re: GBP

      How much is that in Bitcoins?

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: GBP

        Three sheep.

  8. m0rt Silver badge

    I sent the link to a friend, forgetting what day it was...

    She was quite gutted when It isn't real.

    You should do this. I can personally guarantee 2 sales. As long as it is under a tenner. For the two.

    edit: And has pics of the staff writers to colour in which case I will buy three and send one to Mr S. Fry.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: I sent the link to a friend, forgetting what day it was...

      Even better would be the addition of Mr S. Fry to the book with a picture of a network cable and an atomic clock.

      Edit: and a penis

  9. Red Eyes

    I still want one

    I so wanted this to be real.

  10. Markus Imhof

    Make it so!

  11. Unep Eurobats

    It should so totally happen

    Please do it.

  12. IHateWearingATie


    I clicked the buy link to see what tomfoolery you had prepared. Then regretted it. Bastards.

    1. Yeti

      Re: Bastards

      I feel your pain. "Not available in your country" or something. Bastards.

    2. This post has been deleted by its author

  13. LDS Silver badge

    Is this a compulsory practice in DevOps?

    I mean, if you have different colors for each stage it will help to route your thoughts appropriately, and understand what is what.

    It would be great if you could send your colour patterns to a manufacturer and get your own true Colour Defined Network (TM). I see a market for "red" switches instead of the dull Cisco Blue, HP Gray or Dell Black for critical ones (those that should have a sign saying "touch this without my permission and you're dead"), although in a true cloud environment I'd go for transparent ones, maybe in foggy cases. They should turn darker when something is going wrong.

    Also many of my colleagues will find this book useful, the time spent colouring old Macs and PETs wouldn't be spent in writing crappy code I have to hunt down and fix later, before it get pasts testers following their coloured thoughts as well (usually because of alcohol/substance abuse...) and reach production, then colouring any monitoring screen they hit.

    Shouldn't we have also a Mindful Programmer colouring book? Let programmers learn the intricacies of syntax highlighting and proper variable naming using fruit-scented markers!

    1. Simon Sharwood, Reg APAC Editor (Written by Reg staff)

      Re: Is this a compulsory practice in DevOps?

      You're right - callous of us to leave out developers

  14. frank ly

    Oh no!

    Colouring in and around the keyboard keys would drive me mad.

    1. Charlie Clark Silver badge

      Re: Oh no!

      Go and sort your stamps or whatever it is you need to do to calm down!

  15. DJO Silver badge

    Olof Larpi

    That's a bit too much of a give-away isn't it?

    6/10 - must try harder.

  16. ArtThrob

    I am so disappointed - I really want a copy of this book!

  17. Charlie Clark Silver badge

    April fools

    Is anyone collecting them? Cyanogenmod has a nice nightly build for today…

  18. emlyn_dewar

    Signed up, purely to say, "I wish this was true".

    Curse you April 1st, curse you!

  19. MacroRodent Silver badge

    Mind the language

    Packetise mielesi: Periaatteiden soveltamisessa TCP/IP omaan neuroverkko

    Another dolt who thinks you can use automatic translation into Finnish. One sees a lot of this these days, my family nearly died laughing at how the Playstation store had translated the description of a Star Wars game! In the interests of promoting sysadmin mindfulness, here is how it should look:

    Paketisoi mielesi: TCP/IP:n periaatteiden soveltaminen omaan neuroverkkoosi.

    1. Doctor_Wibble

      Re: Mind the language

      So you're saying that "Kaikki pohja on kuulu meille" is wrong?

      More to the point, what's the Finnish for "Romanes eunt domus"?

      1. MacroRodent Silver badge

        Re: Mind the language

        So you're saying that "Kaikki pohja on kuulu meille" is wrong?

        Yes. I think "All your base are belong to us" would be better translated into "Kaikki teidän tukikohta on kuulua meille". Grammatically incorrect in a way that mimics the original better. The context would probably make it clear to even a poor human translator that another sense of the word "base" should be used.

        More to the point, what's the Finnish for "Romanes eunt domus"?

        I'm not a Latin expert, but perhaps "Roomalainet menevät koti"? Bad grammar like the original, enough to make a Finnish-speaking centurion to force you write "menkään kotiinne roomaiset" a 100 times.

  20. Doctor Syntax Silver badge

    Sysadmin and Friday but no cattle prod? What's the world coming to?

  21. Dr. G. Freeman
    Thumb Down

    Aw Reg, I would have bought one.

  22. Admiral Grace Hopper

    Burnt Tango

    I was poised with my 1970s felt tip collection ready to colour in the ICL 2900 Series VME mainframes. I was looking forward to the restful loopy bits on the tape reels.

  23. mikemurk

    Two Things...

    A) Even though I know its a joke, SHUT UP AND TAKE MY MONEY

    2) I watched the entire video. Joke's on you Reg.

  24. PNGuinn

    Do the decent thing

    Ok, El Reg, this thing has legs.

    I dare you to produce the whole book. And send a complimentary copy to Sadnads.

    It'll either force a reset more powerful than the traditional 3 fingered salute or better cause the whole kaboodle to implode with nuclear ferocity.

    One a can but hope ... >>

  25. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    But I would have bought it

    I don't want this to be a prank.

    I am now so disappointed I'll have to do some real work...

  26. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Reminds me why senior managers don't visit our office

    We had a senior manager over and he asked if there were any questions.

    I asked if the company had enough money to buy our Solution Architects some new crayons as the others where so worn we couldn't read their scribblings any longer. He did attempt to laugh it off and mentioned pencils, but we insisted as we had to remove their pencils as they hurt themselves too often when they had anything truly pointy.

    It started a bit of a row as he claimed ownership of them then while having a 'town hall' meeting with them the following day told them that they where known as the Crayon Squad and needed to up their game.

    Maybe I should have mentioned the tyre swing, the bunches of bananas (that they peel with their feet) and the varnished walls which had to be installed (so the faeces they fling doesn't stick too much)

  27. TRT Silver badge


    A BOFH colouring book would be great. Though I think I'd run out of crayons of type blood red and electric blue.

    1. Commswonk Silver badge

      Re: Actually...

      A BOFH colouring book would be great.

      In practice a PHB colouring book would be better, along with editions for Directors of Finance / HR / etc. (Other equivalent job titles are available.)

      Keep the buggers occupied while others get some work done.

  28. Dave 32


    I was ready to order a couple of copies.


  29. Imsimil Berati-Lahn

    Thank you.

    I was genuinely moved by this article.

    Most of the spoofs this year have been a bit lame, cynical or both.

    This one is really quite sweet, so thank you.

  30. Florida1920


    Apparently colouring in helps you to relax.

    How about some Vulture Central Extra Strength tea and coffee (packaged separately, please)? You've already got the mugs; time to sell the contents!

  31. Fading Silver badge

    Full of disappoint...

    "Tips and corrections" Shurly soom mistake - "Felt Tips and correction fluid"

    (yes I wanted one as well for my technically less inclined better half)

  32. Terry Cloth


    You are the author of my very first rickrolling. (Rick Rolling?) After decades in the business. You had me hooked until then.

    And I still want one. As someone observed above ``Shut up and take my money.''

  33. ColdMonkey

    Will it have a colouring guide?

    Looks too complex to me.

    No operating instructions! Pencils, pens, or crayons? How many different colours will be needed. Definitely not a user friendly product.

    Obviously a concept brought to market too soon.

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