back to article IBM staffer at risk of redundo? Capita will wipe away your tears

The thousand-plus IBM UK Global Technology Services peeps at risk of redundancy need fear not – caring corporation Capita has been contracted to provide support services for those affected by the process. The Global Technology Services arm at Big Blue last month put 1,352 staff at risk of redundancy as it trims the local wage …

  1. Pascal Monett Silver badge
    Coat

    So, IBM is firing people, HP is firing people, and Capita, who handles the firing for IBM, is firing people.

    Is this the result of a New Years resolution ? One wonders.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Don't forget Oracle firing people.

      Outsourcing madness.

  2. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    We have one of these "Employee Assistance Programmes", it's utterly useless.

    The "help" for redundancy consists of an article on the 7 stages of grief and advice to boost your self esteem by doing things like eating a healthy diet and cuting down on alcohol. You then get sent a booklet (to print and fill in at home) containing a "four week plan" with goals like "week 1, Talk to others, Create time for myself. Week 2, Simplify my life, Look after my health and wellbeings (sic)". At the end of the four weeks you are to write down the "habits" you found it "easy" or "hard" to maintain. If you still need help the booklet tells you to go and see your GP.

  3. Edward Clarke

    We care about you!

    Here's some friendly advice from another company:

    http://www.chron.com/news/bizarre/article/Employer-advises-Dumpster-diving-for-axed-workers-1878457.php

  4. kmac499

    Irony or what

    Well that's like putting Dracula in charge of the Blood Bank.

    If I was 'at risk' I would be buying a lot of USB sticks. NO I'm not promoting piracy or theft of IP, but if I'd built my career developing stuff I'd like to keep a reference copy purely for my own use.

  5. Sir Barry
    Unhappy

    Experience

    At least Capita can claim extensive experience in this area.

  6. ecofeco Silver badge
    WTF?

    We have a saying for this where I live

    SWEET CHOCOLATE JESUS! ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?!

  7. All names Taken
    Joke

    Hmmm.taking care of its own?

    Maybe this is a way Capitalata can cream of selected brethren without risking huge awareness of its proposed undertaking?

    That way the selected few can always say something like

    "Search me mate - dunno anyfink abaht it duneye?

    All az noz iz geeza from Das Kapitalata sed ah woz ed untid din ee?"

  8. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    I took a package last year and Capita were nowhere to be seen. The program I was sent on was run by Hays and it was pretty good. Which is probably the problem.

  9. Retired-Old-Fart
    Joke

    IBM HR is full of shit

    As an ex-IBMer, I lost my job in 2003 in the US, I can honestly say that IBM does not give a shit about those laid off, any "Employee Assistance" is a very sick joke. My sympathies to those in this position.

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