back to article Major Hollywood studio eyes Paint Drying sequel

The Register can exclusively reveal today that a top Hollywood studio has optioned a sequel to Paint Drying - the 607-minute minimalist masterpiece designed to try the patience of the British Board of Film Classification (BBFC). A Tinsel Town source close to the project confirmed yesterday that Paint Drying director Charlie …

  1. et tu, brute?
    Joke

    Paint Drying 2: Dry Hard

    Based on the novel by Primer Levi

    I would love to read the book!

    1. twelvebore

      Re: Paint Drying 2: Dry Hard

      The book is excellent, though rather long and I do worry that at a mere 23 hours the film will gloss over a lot of the finer detail.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Paint Drying 2: Dry Hard

        If it's a success we can look forward to the prequel, Primer Coat: The Beginning.

        1. LaeMing Silver badge
          Go

          Re: Paint Drying 2: Dry Hard

          To be honest, I found the book to be a bit too dry.

        2. twelvebore

          Re: Paint Drying 2: Dry Hard

          ... and the sequel Paint Drying 3: The Vinyl Chapter.

          1. Dave 126 Silver badge

            Re: Paint Drying 2: Dry Hard

            That should be:

            An Emulsional Roller-Coater ride

            1. Lester Haines (Written by Reg staff) Gold badge

              Re: Re: Paint Drying 2: Dry Hard

              Very good.

          2. Mark 85 Silver badge

            Re: Paint Drying 2: Dry Hard

            I'm afraid that one will need a bit more than 23 hours. It was a bit tacky at the end.

      2. Jedit
        Coat

        "I do worry that at a mere 23 hours the film will gloss over a lot of the finer detail."

        This being Hollywood, they'll just split it into two parts to double the box office.

        I'll get my second coat, shall I?

  2. This post has been deleted by its author

  3. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    They could do a horror "The walls have dried"

    1. et tu, brute?
      Trollface

      "Paint Dying: The Flaking"

      Followed by a reboot of the series:

      "Paint Drying: The Repaint"

      1. Known Hero

        Paint 2 - The second coating

        1. Captain DaFt

          I'm waiting for the x-rated version: Stripper, Primer, and Repaint.

  4. Roq D. Kasba

    M Night Shylam directing

    The twist is that the paint was already dry. In 1666.

  5. TRT Silver badge

    Unlikely to meet approval on Parliament Hill

    There won't be any whitewash at the White House.

    1. TRT Silver badge

      Re: Unlikely to meet approval on Parliament Hill

      *I was half asleep. Pennsylvania Avenue.

  6. Dave 126 Silver badge

    Robbie Coltrane

    [Paint] Runs on the Run

    The [Cellulose] Dope Must Dry

    [Eggshell] Cracker

    (I'm sorry, I have a cold and didn't get much sleep last night. I had strange dreams too, in which Robbie Coltrane did not feature. I don't where the above line of thought has come from)

  7. Dave 126 Silver badge

    Primer

    The second film from the writer/director/actor/etc of Primer, Shane Carruth, was Upstream Colour.

    Unlike my suggestions above, I'm not making this up:

    http://www.imdb.com/title/tt2084989/

  8. ukgnome Silver badge

    NO! I was running through puns, but for the sake of forum entries NO!

  9. Efros

    Of course there will be

    'Paint Drying - the Director's cut', 3 hours of extra footage with acerbic commentary from the director, cameraman and the paint roller artist.

  10. msknight Silver badge

    Paint drying 4: Dry Harder

    I still think they should have subtitled number 1 : Dry Hard With A Vengeance.

    Or - Porn Free or Dry HARD

  11. Ben Bonsall

    Dry Hard 2: Clone Walls

    Dry Hard 3: The revenge of the poorly prepared surface.

    Dry Hard 4: A New Coat

    Dry Hard 5: The Empire changes it's mind about the colour

    Dry Hard 6: The return of the Contractor

    1. Ben Bonsall

      Dry Hard 7: Jar-Jar of white spirit.

      1. Ben Bonsall

        Colour Fast and Furious about the mess in the hall.

        1. Ben Bonsall

          And the broadway musical version:

          Annie! Chance of a cup of tea love?

          1. Ben Bonsall

            Roller Wall

      2. Stoneshop Silver badge

        Dry Hard 8 will be scrubbed.

  12. Jonathan Richards 1
    Go

    Laying it on a bit thick

    "This one will run and run ..." Painter & Decorator Monthly

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Laying it on a bit thick

      And still the 23 hour version will was more interesting than Open Water

  13. Tim Jenkins

    Basil Brush

    is unfortunately unavailable; apparently the Yewtree chaps are interested in having a chat with him about his post-television career teaching English to orphaned kittens in Thailand...

    Boom, and indeed, boom.

  14. Alister Silver badge

    Apparently, Barbara Broccoli is thinking of doing her own version, Licence to Spill, to be followed by Tomorrow never Dyes, following the adventures of Bond, English Garden Wall Bond... an ageing bricklayer and decorator.

  15. Toltec

    The Pink Painter

    The Return of the Pink Painter

    The Pink Painter Strikes Again

    Revenge of the Pink Painter

    Trail of the Pink Painter

    Son of the Pink Painter

  16. allthecoolshortnamesweretaken

    will there be

    ...lensflare?

  17. druck Silver badge
    Coat

    Isn't...

    ...April 1st still just over 2 months away?

  18. Crazy Operations Guy Silver badge

    If I were making it

    I'd throw in single frames of child friendly images, then start a rumor that there is hard-core pornography in there so that the ratings board has to watch it very intently to make sure there isn't. Then I'd release a second one with such filth in it, but make sure no one knows about it until its gets its kid-friendly rating, at which point kick the "Think of the Children" brigade into high gear.

    Maybe follow that up with a sequel of a camp fire burning and mix in some images of extreme violence into the flames. Mix it just enough that watching it normally wouldn't produce the images and only staring intently at it would do so (probably flicker the pixels so that the image is split into many fragments spread across frames so that the image is assembled in the viewer's brain by retinal after-images).

    Yes, I have a twisted and depraved mind, but I only use it for good, like torturing the people that believe that someone getting disemboweled is OK to show to children, but breasts are reserved for adults and even a glimpse of genitals makes it pornography...

  19. TeeCee Gold badge
    Coat

    The production's cancelled.

    Hollywood have just bricked it.

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