back to article The next Cuban gristle crisis: US Navy warship powered by beef fat

The USS Stockdale, a guided-missile-launching destroyer, has set sail powered by an unusual fuel – waste beef fat. The ship, deployed this week in the USS John C. Stennis Carrier Strike Group, is part of the Navy's Great Green Fleet initiative, which is trying to make swabbies more environmentally friendly by using alternative …

  1. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Most uneconomical approach yet?

    Instead of reducing the amount of cows grown... lets just keep growing them, and find other ways to get rid of the unwanted excess product!

    Yeah, sounds legit. o_O

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Most uneconomical approach yet?

      I'm with you bro. We should introduce worldwide rationing on farm animals which will put the price up so only the super rich can afford to eat meat. The rest of us should get by on beans and lentils - it's healthier for us and the environment. Screw freedom of choice!

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Most uneconomical approach yet?

        If this stuff's $2.05 a gallon, then it seems to me that if the objective is to ensure a strategic fuel supply for the navy it would be a lot cheaper to build massive underground storage and buy the real thing off our Arab and other oil-producing "friends", especially while it's down at $30 a barrel.

      2. Long John Brass Silver badge

        Re: Most uneconomical approach yet?

        Eat recycled food; It's good for the environment and it's OK for you

      3. Arctic fox
        Headmaster

        Re: "The rest of us should get by on beans and lentils -

        it's healthier for us and the environment."

        I realise of course that you were being satirical, however there are those who actually do believe that it would be better for the environment. It would in fact require a huge extension of arable monoculture farming right across the face of the planet in order to do this. The irony of the vegan position is that it would do massive damage to the earth's ecosystem if we all dropped eating meat.

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: "The rest of us should get by on beans and lentils -

          "monoculture farming" is a big problem and usually ends the crop.

          Just ask any Banana farmer.

          1. Richard Altmann

            Re: "The rest of us should get by on beans and lentils -

            Mmmh, In East Africa, once the bananas are harvested, the shrub is chopped down and applied as fertilizer for the next upcoming sucker. After a few years the shrub grows on one meter or even higher heap of itself. Don´t know, how its handled on the plantations that deliver so called bananas to europe.

            Africans they are not due EU import regulations. Chiquita dictated the definition of an EU banana standard.

            You don´t find any of the 20 or more varieties of african bananas in europe. Nothing of the non sweet, starch rich cooking bananas or the 4" long super sweets. Just the mealy Chiquitas.

            same applies for potatoes. Last night´s business idea is to open up a fish´n chips with 10 varieties of potatoes to choose from. European citizens have been prohabited to enjoy the riches of what the world has to offer by the Food Mafia.

            Sorry, went off the topic here (again).

            Next week, i will be back in Africa and enjoy an avocado the size of a handball and a doublesize pineapple, NGM Wheed, a real steak, triple destilled banana gin ...

            Not for holidays but for my new IT-ManAnger contract. Asante Sana

            1. x 7

              Re: "The rest of us should get by on beans and lentils -

              " triple destilled banana gin ..."

              now that sounds like a business worth exploiting

    2. Martin Summers Silver badge

      Re: Most uneconomical approach yet?

      Wow, does this thread get the record for most posts deleted by a moderator or what? Shame I didn't catch them before to see what all the fuss was about!

      1. Rol Silver badge

        Re: Most uneconomical approach yet?

        @ Martin Summers

        First comment was extolling another round of terrorist atrocities aimed at America.

        Subsequent comments suggested a certain scythe wielding skeleton with a pronounced Tourettes disorder visited the commentard. And justifiably so.

      2. ZSn

        Re: Most uneconomical approach yet?

        @Martin Summers. You didn't miss anything worthwhile - it certainly isn't worth repeating. Somebody came home from the pub in a bad mood guessing from the timing and the comment. The original and a lot of the deleted were 'anonymous cowards' as well. I think alcohol and the 'Post anonymously' button are a bad combination. Either that or restrict the ability to post anonymously to only once or twice a day (preferably not after beer o'clock).

        I shouldn't have fed the troll but the comment irked me as well even though I'm not a great fan of America either.

        1. Mpeler
          Coat

          Re: Most uneconomical approach yet?

          Seems like they were really Anonymous CowHerds, then...

          (gets me coat...and me shovel...wellies...)

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    4. Gene Cash Silver badge

      Re: Team America

      Freeman Dyson recounts how the RAF tried hard to locate the admin HQ for German aircraft production, found it, bombed it into oblivion... and were horrified when German aircraft production rates went *up*

      1. Rich 11 Silver badge

        Re: Team America

        Freeman Dyson recounts how the RAF tried hard to locate the admin HQ for German aircraft production, found it, bombed it into oblivion... and were horrified when German aircraft production rates went *up*

        That's bureaucracy for you...

      2. Vic

        Re: Team America

        Freeman Dyson recounts how the RAF tried hard to locate the admin HQ for German aircraft production, found it, bombed it into oblivion

        Whereas the Luftwaffe found and destroyed the Supermarine factories in Woolston and Itchen. Production didn't stop (although it did slow for a little while).

        Vic.

        1. x 7

          Re: Team America

          "Production didn't stop" partly because more Spitfires were being built at Yeovil and West Bromwich

          1. Vic

            Re: Team America

            more Spitfires were being built at Yeovil and West Bromwich

            And many other places. Spitfire distribution was deliberately dispersed; aircraft were hand-made in garages and small engineering facilities.

            We had a great talk at the museum a little while back all about it - from one of the guys whose plan it was...

            Vic.

            1. x 7

              Re: Team America

              Vic

              i think we're talking at cross purposes. Yes component production was well distributed into small artisan factories - but the actual aircraft assembly had to be done at an airfield (for obvious reasons.....) and those sites were limited in number.

              For the Spitfire assembly you had the Supermarine factories, Westlands (at Yeovil) and the largest Castle Bromwich plant (not West Brom - I made a typo there).

              My mother built the port inner wing boxes for the Westland ones, her bridesmaid built the starboard ones

              1. Vic

                Re: Team America

                but the actual aircraft assembly had to be done at an airfield (for obvious reasons)

                No - that's exactly the point. Aircraft were being put together in small garages and similar all around the Salisbury area. They might not have had the wings bolted on until they reached an airfield - it's easier to transport an aircraft by road without wings - but the planes were built in Salisbury bus station, amongst other places.

                Vic.

                1. x 7

                  Re: Team America

                  which aircraft models were those Vic? I find it hard to believe they were Spitfires due to the complexity of assembly, but can believe it of simpler designs. Presumably they flew from Old Sarum?

                  1. Vic

                    Re: Team America

                    which aircraft models were those Vic? I find it hard to believe they were Spitfires

                    Spitfires they were. Here is an article from the local paper about the blue plaque marking that production. The bloke on the right of the top picture is Norman Parker, the BDAC archivist, and the bloke who gave the lecture I went to,

                    Presumably they flew from Old Sarum?

                    I imagine so, but I don't remember for sure.

                    Vic.

    5. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Team America

      How ironic! The evidence says they ram their own planes into their own financial centres to extend their global presence. #FalseFlag #OperationNorthwoods

    6. ZSn

      Re: Team America

      While I can understand people's annoyance with American hegemony (childish and petulant comments notwithstanding) but what do you propose as an alternative? Sure America has done some pretty horrific things - they're well documented after all. Most big countries/empires have done the same or worse. But do you really think the alternative is better? For all America's arrogance they are a grown up democracy with a functioning legal system. Eventually most of their worst excesses are reversed by having to deal with the rest of the world and their own legal system. The alternative, the safety and security of Putin's Russia? The legal rights of Xi Jinping's China? Be careful of what you wish for, for you may get it.

      1. Rich 11 Silver badge

        Re: Team America

        For all America's arrogance they are a grown up democracy with a functioning legal system.

        *cough*Trump*cough*

        *cough*Guantanamo*cough*

        And, leaving all coughing behind, there's serious evidence that their legal system doesn't work too well if you're not white.

        The alternative, the safety and security of Putin's Russia? The legal rights of Xi Jinping's China?

        False dichotomy (trichotomy?). The alternative is to improve the system, not lurch from one bad one to someone else's worse one. Because there will always be a worse one.

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: Team America

          Don't forget poor.

          You will get a public defender who will throw you under a bus. Without money you have zero defence. You'll be blackmailed into confessing (even when innocent), and be sent to the privatised American Gulag system.

        2. ZSn

          Re: Team America

          @rich 11. I would agree with you that improving the system would be ideal. However to quote Machiavelli:

          Many have imagined republics and principalities which have never been seen or known to exist in reality; for how we live is so far removed from how we ought to live, that he who abandons what is done for what ought to be done, will rather bring about his own ruin than his preservation.

          You forget that humanity is, on the whole, vile. That every country has strains on its history that it does its best to ignore, the British in Ireland, the Belgians in the Congo the French in Algeria, the list is just too long and depressing to enumerate. Yes America has done bad things, George Washington was a slave owner while espousing all men are created equal is a truely hypocritical example, but propose a *workable* realistic alternative.

        3. Scroticus Canis

          Re: Team America - @Rich 11

          Beat me to it, but could also have added Palin, Tricy Dicky, and numerous others and added 'rich' to the legal bit.

          The main trouble with democracy is you don't often get who you vote for but who you deserve.

          1. GX5000

            Re: Team America - @Rich 11

            Thank <<insert here invisible friend here>> you don't get the representation

            you deserve !

            “As democracy is perfected, the office of president represents, more and more closely, the inner soul of the people. On some great and glorious day the plain folks of the land will reach their heart's desire at last and the White House will be adorned by a downright moron.”

            ― H.L. Mencken

        4. TeeCee Gold badge
          FAIL

          Re: Team America

          Er, Trump is a good thing[1].

          You think that certain people should be barred from running for office purely for their political views? Exactly what sort of fascist are you? One from the "left" or "right"?

          [1] If he ends up getting elected well, hey, that's democracy for you. Democracy means that you have to accept the will of the majority of the people whether you like it or not. I realise that the will of the people tends to conflict with the ideals of bien pensant PC-fixated arsehats, but that's a plus in my book.

          1. JeffyPoooh Silver badge
            Pint

            Re: Team America

            TC: "...what sort of fascist are you? One from the 'left' or 'right'?"

            You've very nearly touched on a deep truth.

            The political Left-Right spectrum is best envisioned as being bent into a circle.

            The extremists on the far side, as you've hinted, are essentially indistinguishable.

            This easy adjustment of the political spectrum mental model from linear to circular helps to clarify things immensely. The new Axis of Extremist Lunacy is a very useful construct. It also clarifies that the Moderates, both Left and Right, can be united against the loons.

            1. x 7

              Re: Team America

              given the modern political dominance of shirtlifting members of society, your comment would better simply be stated as

              "The political Left-Right spectrum is best envisioned as being bent"

              1. Pompous Git Silver badge

                Re: Team America

                "The political Left-Right spectrum is best envisioned as being bent"

                I misread "spectrum" as rectum... Old eyes...

            2. 9Rune5

              Re: Team America

              "The new Axis of Extremist Lunacy is a very useful construct. It also clarifies that the Moderates, both Left and Right, can be united against the loons."

              But the loons can be found all over that spectrum!

              The previous government of Norway contained several members with barely highschool education whose work experience was limited to politics. But there is something reassuring about a person with no education and no experience who is unable to accomplish anything. It is when you put an experienced person w/education on the job and still do not see any results, that you need to truly worry.

              Wasn't it somebody here who commented that it is the middle class' discontent that fuels fascism? In Norway a shrinking part of the population works hard to support a growing population of people on benefits. Effective taxation is for many around 60-80%. It used to be that you were lucky if you had managed to land a job, now it is nearly the opposite. As such, I'd say that it is the loons on the left (those who invent so many wonderful ways of wasting the taxpayers' money) who fuel the growing share of loons on the right.

              The only moderate solution I see is that politicians must be required to remove five expenditures for every new suggestion that hinges on taxpayer funding.

            3. JamesPond

              Re: Team America

              "The extremists on the far side, as you've hinted, are essentially indistinguishable."

              Hmmm...not sure, if you could go back in time, that you would be able to get Hitler and Stalin to see eye-to-eye, although I agree that the end results from their dictatorships were pretty similar.

          2. sed gawk

            Re: Team America

            Yes I think people should be banned from running due to their political views.

            I don't think an extreme racist party should be given space on the ballot, I don't think one that proposes harming homosexuals should be given space on the ballot.

            I do think one should be able to express a view in a public forum, for pure comedy gold, see the BNP leader on QuestionTime with Bonnie Greer. http://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/b00nft24

            But be offered a reasonable chance of implement flagrantly discriminatory legislation, nope.

            If you upfront declare that if elected you will discriminate against some group for example, you believe in brand A of sky fairy, (other brands are available) therefore you are defacto a "wrong 'un". You don't get to play.

            Other than that, I'd quite happy for any kind of nonsense to be proposed, and put to the vote, even upto and including maths that work for "the right people". Must be the way I tell um.

          3. Anonymous Coward
            Anonymous Coward

            Re: Team America

            It's all fascism in the end.

            Your view depends on what side of the fence you will be on when the bill comes.

            No system is immune, Humanity is vile.

      2. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Team America

        No. America is an oligarchy trying unconvincingly to keep up the appearances of an illiberal democracy.

      3. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Team America

        For all America's arrogance they are a grown up democracy with a functioning legal system.

        I recently did a marathon reading about people whose convictions were overturned in the States, usually after many years, often on Death Row, and sometimes posthumously, and ended feeling that the American judicial system is childlike. Like an example of a nation that got too much power before it had the maturity to properly wield it.

        1. chivo243 Silver badge

          Re: Team America

          “The United States is a nation of laws, badly written and randomly enforced.”

          ― Frank Zappa

          Some of us know, there's just not enough of us to make any sustainable change.

      4. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Team America

        "democracy" is a concept, not a reality.

        If you believe otherwise you haven't been "dealt" enough of it or are under fifty.

        1. Pompous Git Silver badge

          Re: Team America

          "democracy" is a concept, not a reality

          Democracy: " a form of government in which the supreme power is vested in the people and exercised directly by them or by their elected agents under a free electoral system. [Emphasis mine]

          I think you are under the illusion, as many are, that democracy = personal freedom. It does not. Our freely elected agents make sure of that. They also go to great lengths to maintain the illusion.

          http://xroads.virginia.edu/~drbr/mencken.htm

          1. Fungus Bob Silver badge

            Re: democracy is a concept

            "Democracy: " a form of government in which the supreme power is vested in the people and exercised directly by them or by their elected agents under a free electoral system."

            Yup, a concept. We don't have a free electoral system.

            1. Pompous Git Silver badge

              Re: democracy is a concept

              We don't have a free electoral system.

              There are it must be admitted varying degrees of freedom between electoral systems. Here in the Land of Under we are fined if we don't vote. I believe that in UKLand and USia that one is free (as I am not) to choose whether or not to vote. In all three places, we are free to vote for whichever party/candidate we choose. Some states have but a single party. Since you do not state under which system you live, I have no way to evaluate your statement.

              Despite my lack of freedom as whether I vote, I do not feel at all unfree since I can vote for whoever I wish among the sometimes bewildering number of candidates, or cast an informal vote if I choose to do so.

      5. Richard Altmann

        Re: Team America

        @ ZSn

        Like with all political systems that claim to be the flagbearer of the "truth", the western world will only allow alternatives over there cold body. Don´t get me wrong. I love living in a democratic world. Only this world has gone into defence mode. The western world has started to restrict the freedom of their people in the name of the freedom their people. The snake bites its own tail, moving in a circle and at the end will devour itself and turn into an oppresive system until the people get fed up and get rid of it. Usually acompanied by a lot of bloodshedding. I regret not being smart and charismatic enough to change that.

  3. This post has been deleted by its author

  4. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Going green, and blue, and red, and pink...

    If we're talking alternative fuels, there only one AltFuel good enough for the US Navy: Unicorn farts.

    High energy content, smells nice, and actually removes CO2 from the air when it burns!

    There is one caveat; Ironically this potent fuel is a bit TOO energetic for long-term reliable use in engines. Happily tho a small admixture of gnome farts produces a satisfactory burning rate.

    1. Rol Silver badge

      Re: Going green, and blue, and red, and pink...

      I read about a guy who ran his moped on monkey spunk, but I seem to remember it was a little sluggish and the local zoo wasn't being very cooperative, so he traded it in for a better model that ran on leopards fanny batter.

      Although come to think about it, it was a Viz cartoon strip and might not have been totally accurate.

      Anyway, I assume after reading that most deplorable AC comment above, I couldn't be any more offensive if I tried.

    2. MyffyW Silver badge

      Re: Going green, and blue, and red, and pink...

      Love the reach for the mystic @Big_John.

      On a more mundane note: Have they considered powering this by fat derived from the pork barrel procurement practices?

  5. Voyna i Mor Silver badge

    Alternative fuels

    Of course, for many years navies were extremely green, because ships were almost entirely made of renewables and ran off wind power. Since then we've gone backwards.

    1. x 7

      Re: Alternative fuels

      " ships were almost entirely made of renewables "

      not really true.........tree felling for ships wildly exceeded the growth and replanting rates.

      Thats why there are few old healthy oaks in Britain - all the good ones were felled. All the old oaks alive now survived because they were diseased with rotten crowns or cores

      Thats why we imported mahogany and other timbers for ship building

      1. allthecoolshortnamesweretaken Silver badge

        Re: Alternative fuels

        Yep. Spain, too. Lots of forests - before their fleets were built.

        1. Richard Altmann

          Re: Alternative fuels

          Lebanon was fellt by the romans

      2. Steve Davies 3 Silver badge

        Re: Alternative fuels

        Thats why there are few old healthy oaks in Britain - all the good ones were felled. All the old oaks alive now survived because they were diseased with rotten crowns or cores

        What a load of crap.

        The Government recognised that there was indeed a shortage of Oak around the time of Trafalgar. That's why many, many oaks were planted and are still alive today. Oak Tree Common in Hartley Wintney is one of those plantations. Apparently they stopped when someone told them that it would be at least 100 years before those trees would be good for ships. By then we were building them out of iron and steel.

        not all the oaks alive today were alive back then either. I have at least 20 such trees in my Woodland that are less than 30 years old. They are thriving now because the old oak that overshadowed them was felled a few years ago. The wood from that tree is keeping my home nice and cozy thank you very much.

        1. x 7

          Re: Alternative fuels

          ". That's why many, many oaks were planted and are still alive today"

          you make my point for me. If felling oaks for shipbuilding had been sustainable, then that planting campaign would not have been needed: the forests would have been self-regenerating.

          As it was, we couldn't, and didn't have sustainable forests, and when that was realised, the Admiralty planting scheme - which was half-hearted at best due to costs - was abandoned as pointless.

          and I go back to my original point - the only oaks that survived our shipbuilding were the diseased ones. Go and take a look around somewhere like Sherwood, which does have a lot of old trees. They are all diseased and dying, the good ones were all cleared. They may have been dying for three hundred years or so, but in oak terms that's recent. Those trees in that plantation you're citing? Mere youngsters in comparison - and probably only just getting big enough to use for smaller ship timbers

          1. JeffyPoooh Silver badge
            Pint

            Re: Alternative fuels - oak trees, mandatory reference...

            http://thetyee.ca/Views/2004/03/24/Planning_Six_Centuries_Ahead/

            If a fable, a nice one.

            1. x 7

              Re: Alternative fuels - oak trees, mandatory reference...

              nice story

              the problem of course is finding enough men skilled in the work of shaping the timbers and jointing and erecting them correctly. Not a very common practice nowadays

              1. Pompous Git Silver badge

                Re: Alternative fuels - oak trees, mandatory reference...

                the problem of course is finding enough men skilled in the work of shaping the timbers and jointing and erecting them correctly. Not a very common practice nowadays

                They should come to Tasmania then. There's a very nice wooden boat building school not five minutes drive from where I'm sitting.

                http://australianwoodenboatschool.com.au/

                I imagine I'll be having breakfast next door tomorrow morning at the Living Boat Trust

                http://lbt.rforster.org/

          2. John Arthur
            FAIL

            Re: Alternative fuels

            @ x 7: Rubbish. 'self-regenerating' and 'sustainable' are not the same thing. Sustainable forests are usually well managed by people, not by nature. Trees are mature long before the 'three hundred years' you quote and those that are that age are past their best and, yes, diseased and dying. It's called old age.

            1. x 7

              Re: Alternative fuels

              @ John Arthur

              Clear felling all the usable trees and not planting replacements until its too late (which is what happened) is not by any mechanism "sustainable".

              Real "sustainable" would have meant cropping the trees at a rate at which continuous ongoing exploitation without loss of the reserves would have been possible. That didn't happen. To be honest it doesn't happen very often: even so-called sustainable FSC accredited schemes are often than not more a paper masque over a totally unsustainable felling regime.

              In reality the only provable sustainable large-scale forestry operations are those which use softwoods for paper production, with the felling on a relatively short 40-50 year cycle, or the even shorter-term coppiceing of willow or aspen for biofuel.

              But going back to the ships timbers: you'd be hard pushed to get a ships frame out of an oak thats less than 300 years old. Having said that, ideally you'd use elm as a better material but theres not much chance of that nowadays

            2. Pompous Git Silver badge
              FAIL

              Re: Alternative fuels

              Rubbish. 'self-regenerating' and 'sustainable' are not the same thing. Sustainable forests are usually well managed by people, not by nature. Trees are mature long before the 'three hundred years' you quote and those that are that age are past their best and, yes, diseased and dying. It's called old age.

              While you are correct that 'self-regenerating' and 'sustainable' are not the same thing, we do not know what might might be a truly sustainable farming or forestry system. All methods currently known result in topsoil loss at a rate greater than it is generated. Thus we can say that one system is more or less sustainable than another, but not be sustainable indefinitely.

              Also, Huon Pine is still in its infancy at 300 years and I have seen an intact stem that fell at the age of 2,300 years. As the chap who showed to me described it: "This tree was 300 years old while Jesus was playing full back for Jerusalem!" Huon Pine is in many respects the best boat-building timber of all.

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Alternative fuels

      Whale Oil is a 'green' biofuel and obviously 'renewable' up to a point.

      Hunt the Whales!

      PS. Anyone checked their methane emissions?

      1. GrumpenKraut Silver badge
        Coat

        Re: Alternative fuels

        > Anyone checked their methane emissions?

        How do you think they propel and what causes their "songs"?

      2. DanceMan
        Joke

        Re: Whale Oil

        Whale Oil Beef Hooked!

  6. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    'powered by beef fat'

    God help every nation on the planet if the Americans ever find a way to power these things on bullshit....they have an inexhaustible supply of the stuff!

    1. Voyna i Mor Silver badge

      Re: 'powered by beef fat'

      An inexhaustible supply of bullshit will work fine so long as the ships are somehow propelled by dung beetles.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: 'powered by beef fat'

        Stop giving DARPA ideas!

      2. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: 'powered by beef fat'

        "An inexhaustible supply of bullshit will "

        a.k.a. an election campaign .... they have a fuel surplus coming up.

        How do you measure quantities of bullshit, anyway? By the trump? By the corbyn? (just to stay right / left balanced, don't all shout at once)

        1. Andy 97

          Re: 'powered by beef fat'

          As American corporations seek to monetise everything, perhaps the missiles that are fired are preceded by a PA message "this armed munition is brought to you by McDonald's... we're lovin' in".

          I feel sad that the day has come that even the propellant of a warship is grounds for another press release.

        2. a_yank_lurker Silver badge

          Re: 'powered by beef fat'

          Measuring bullshit - you have the following units: Clinton, Sanders, Christie (a rather large load), Cruz, Bush.

          1. Pompous Git Silver badge

            Re: 'powered by beef fat'

            Measuring bullshit - you have the following units:

            What's with leaving Australia out of this? Bet you never had a Minister for Communications who claimed "unfettered legal power" over telecommunications regulation, including the ability to request Australian telcos "wear red underpants on their head".

          2. x 7

            Re: 'powered by beef fat'

            "Measuring bullshit - you have the following units: Clinton, Sanders, Christie (a rather large load), Cruz, Bush."

            In comparative terms, how big is a Palin or a Trump? Presumably they dwarf everything else?

            1. a_yank_lurker Silver badge

              Re: 'powered by beef fat'

              @ x 7 Trump was measured previously but a few overlooked units: Rubio, Carson, Bloomberg, Obama, Ryan, Pelosi, McConnell, Reid (from Nevada), all A-List Hollywierd celebrities. - I do not have a high opinion of the feral overlords. As for other countries, I am sure there are deserving units for dishonorable mention.

        3. John Brown (no body) Silver badge
          Mushroom

          Re: 'powered by beef fat'

          "How do you measure quantities of bullshit, anyway? By the trump? "

          I think you may have just invented the perfect term for measuring bullshit. I propose this be added to the El Reg SI Units page forthwith.

          For those unfamiliar with the word trump in English, it's a word to describe a fart, a noxious emission of gastric gases, a small explosion between the legs, flatulence, a bottom burp, a honker, thunder from down under, sphincter whistle, arse trumpet, trouser ripper and so on.

          1. Anonymous Coward
            Anonymous Coward

            Re: 'powered by beef fat'

            You've been at the 'Profanisaurus' haven't you:)

    2. a_yank_lurker Silver badge

      Re: 'powered by beef fat'

      @AC - Just insert a hose in the mouths the Congress Critters and the US will be powering the world with energy left over.

  7. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    The vessel needs a people friendly nickname

    How about: THE USS BIG MAC

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: The vessel needs a people friendly nickname

      USS Beefsteak

    2. Blipvert
      Coat

      Re: The vessel needs a people friendly nickname

      D' ya want fries with that nickname?

    3. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: The vessel needs a people friendly nickname

      USS OFFAL?

    4. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: The vessel needs a people friendly nickname

      The USS VEGAN PLATTER

    5. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: The vessel needs a people friendly nickname

      The USS Mayor McCheese

    6. Blipvert

      Re: The vessel needs a people friendly nickname

      The USS GINSTERS (yum)

    7. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: The vessel needs a people friendly nickname

      USS SLAUGHTER HOUSE!!!

      1. Captain DaFt

        Re: The vessel needs a people friendly nickname

        "USS SLAUGHTER HOUSE"

        A bit too literal. Try USS Abattoir.

        Most Americans would think it was named after a general or something.

    8. Suburban Inmate

      Re: The vessel needs a people friendly nickname

      USS Cartman? As in Eric.

  8. x 7

    ship to be shortly renamed as USS Stockcube

  9. Howard Hanek Bronze badge
    Mushroom

    History In the Making

    Well here's a clue why the Americans will lose the next war to some third world pygmies.

  10. David 132 Silver badge
    Coat

    Are the cows accommodated onboard...

    ...in steerage?

    Or is that what the poop deck's for?

  11. disgruntled yank Silver badge

    What next?

    The Sepoy Mutiny?

    Will our enemies be cowed? And why didn't John Bull think of this first?

  12. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    I feel sorry for the poor servicemen & women on board

    I mean, they're going to feel hungry all the time aren't they? It'll be like a 24/7 barbecue!

  13. Blipvert

    Bita Something Extra

    I assume for safety reasons they will only be using 'Beef Fat' from cows that are under 3 yrs old?

    1. x 7

      Re: Bita Something Extra

      "I assume for safety reasons they will only be using 'Beef Fat' from cows that are under 3 yrs old?"

      why bother? You can't make the yanks any madder......especially the women. They spread prions simply by talking

  14. Rol Silver badge

    What a Carry On

    "Full steam ahead it is Captain Williams"

    "Ooh sailor, we'll be frying tonight"

    To totally misquote the maestro Kenneth Williams.

  15. David Pollard
    Megaphone

    Obig xkcd

    https://xkcd.com/1338/

  16. fnj
    FAIL

    Spectacular ignorance

    "Battleship" is a term for a particular class of naval vessel, one which hasn't been built for 60+ years, and one which has not been in service anywhere for 20+ years. A battleship has 30+ cm of hardened steel armour - not 1.5 cm of mild steel hull plating. And guns of 28+ cm caliber. No guns of over 13 cm exist on any in service naval vessels that I am aware of.

    The blunder is on the sub-title. The title and the text use the correct term, "warship".

    </berserk mode>, sorry for the outburst.

    1. allthecoolshortnamesweretaken Silver badge

      Re: Spectacular ignorance

      Not at all. It's just as easy to get these things right in the first place.

    2. Jack of Shadows Silver badge

      Re: Spectacular ignorance

      You forgot the Zumwalt Class which has a 15.5 cm gun system. Aside from that, I totally agree and I'm a destroyerman with seven years of straight sea time thereon. Having a "real" battleship with, perhaps, some RAP [Rocket Assisted Projectiles] rounds around would be all too the good.

      Good rant!

      [Thirty-one knots with a bone in my teeth ;-) ]

      1. Destroy All Monsters Silver badge

        Re: Spectacular ignorance

        "warship"

        There are only two types of ship - submarines and targets.

        1. x 7

          Re: Spectacular ignorance

          spectacular ignorance for real there.

          Submarines are BOATS not ships

          1. Destroy All Monsters Silver badge
            Holmes

            Re: Spectacular ignorance

            Only because germans called clunky, barely functional submersibles "boot" and murricans can't into translation.

            They are the most ship of the ships.

            The NCC-1701 is a spaceship, not a spaceboat.

            1. x 7

              Re: Spectacular ignorance

              "The NCC-1701 is a spaceship, not a spaceboat."

              its also not a submarine........

            2. Matt Bryant Silver badge
              FAIL

              Re: Destroyed All Braincells Re: Spectacular ignorance

              "Only because germans called clunky, barely functional submersibles "boot" and murricans can't into translation....." Er, no. The distinction between ships and boats was a European naval creation from the days of steam-powered dreadnoughts. The Royal Navy took it to the extreme, declaring that only steam-powered vessels (such as cruisers and battleships) could be called "ships" and therefore have a name, whereas the smaller, petrol-fueled "boats" only got numbers. The rest of the European powers follow suited. Submarines had oil-burning engines ("diesels") and thus fell into the "boat" class. They were also discriminated against as old-style naval officers considered them a dishonest form of warfare. Nothing to do with the Yanks.

              1. x 7

                Re: Destroyed All Braincells Spectacular ignorance

                And to take Matt's point further, submarines were really just a logical extension of the MTB/MGB torpedo / gunboat attack concept - there was a natural evolution to make those small fast boats visually smaller and lower in the water (for "stealth" purposes) until eventually it made sense to hide the attack boat underwater...and the "boat" name was retained

            3. JamesPond
              Alien

              Re: Spectacular ignorance

              In real life, rather than trekki fiction, I think you'll find spacecraft is the correct terminology, with NASA's shuttle being a spaceplane as it also flew / glided in the atmosphere. Where is the logic in using fictional TV programmes to define real-life nomenclature?

            4. Kurt Meyer
              FAIL

              Re: Spectacular ignorance

              @Destroy All Monsters - If there is "spectacular ignorance" in this thread, then surely yours must be the Mt. Everest of such.

              "Clunky, barely functional submersibles" - Perhaps you should take your cue from Donald Macintyre and his colleagues before spouting your faecal-brained nonsense. Or, as an alternative, the opinion of a "Former Naval Person" may prove to be enlightening to you.

              "germans" - Surely it is Germans.

              "murricans can't into translation" - WTF? The Americans can't do translation? The Americans aren't into translation? Destroy All Monsters can't into English?

              "most ship of the ships" - Since the first submersibles over 100 years ago, to the true submarines of today, THEIR OPERATORS have referred to them as "boats". This holds true for the Kaiserliche Marine, the Kriegsmarine, the Royal Navy, the United States Navy, and I'll wager, many other navies as well.

              Perhaps they should have consulted with you before doing so.

              "The NCC-1701 is..." Ah, the icing on the cake, or in your case, the snow on the mountain. Thank you for giving us a reference to a fictional spacecraft. How that is germane to a discussion of real history, I will leave for others to discern.

              A far more appropriate fictional reference, in my opinion, is the Sherlock icon in your post. Perhaps if you were to engage the services of Mr. Holmes, he could provide you with the clue you so obviously lack, although the task may strain even his considerable powers to their utmost.

          2. Voyna i Mor Silver badge

            Re: Spectacular ignorance - Submarines are BOATS not ships

            Nuclear strategic submarines are not boats.

            1. Pompous Git Silver badge

              Re: Spectacular ignorance - Submarines are BOATS not ships

              Nuclear strategic submarines are not boats.

              And a ship is "a sailing vessel square-rigged on all of three or more masts, having jibs, staysails, and a spanker on the aftermost mast" so nuclear strategic submarines aren't ships either. It's fun learning new things :-)

              Sleek, swift, streamlined ship,

              shield-clad and shining,

              tell to me the tale of your trip

              when the limpest of men were your lining

              -- Bob Calvert

              1. Lotaresco
                Mushroom

                Re: Spectacular ignorance - Submarines are BOATS not ships

                The navy refers to submarines as boats, even the Astute class are boats, not ships.

        2. This post has been deleted by a moderator

        3. Lotaresco
          Mushroom

          Re: Spectacular ignorance

          Submarines are boats, not ships.

      2. JeffyPoooh Silver badge
        Pint

        "Thirty-one knots with a bone in my teeth..."

        JoS "[Thirty-one knots with a bone in my teeth ;-) ]"

        Puh. I've done at least 120 knots on water. Not kidding. Skipping across the lake, a solid 120 kts on the dial. Just enjoying the ride. Partial throttle even.

        Then my friend applied full throttle, the craft lurched to 140+ kts nearly instantly, he pulled back on the stick, and the floatplane rocketed skyward.

        Kinda funny that an airplane makes a vastly faster boat than almost any boat. Not even trying to be a boat, and ends up being way faster than any boat in town. I told him that he should enter it into boat races.

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: "Thirty-one knots with a bone in my teeth..."

          Kinda funny that an airplane makes a vastly faster boat than almost any boat.

          Someone noticed some time ago and built aircraft carriers.

        2. Vic

          Re: "Thirty-one knots with a bone in my teeth..."

          Then my friend applied full throttle, the craft lurched to 140+ kts nearly instantly, he pulled back on the stick, and the floatplane rocketed skyward.

          What sort of seaplane were you flying that has VR of 140kt? That's insane.

          Vic.

    3. Howard Hanek Bronze badge

      Re: Spectacular ignorance

      Thank you but I suspect that this vessel is more of a danger to itself and it's crew than any hostile. Any naval architect capable of coming up with such a design probably mounted the guns backward.

      1. x 7

        Re: Spectacular ignorance

        theres been no change to the ship design at all. The animal fat has been converted into a form of biodiesel which is functionally identical to normal military diesel and can be used in diesel engines and gas turbines. The US Navy have even had some aircraft using it (most jet turbine engines can burn any old crap within reason)

  17. Mark 85 Silver badge

    What? No pig fat? No bacon grease? This is an outrage!!!! All government projects need pork!!!!

    1. Fruit and Nutcase Silver badge
      Coat

      Pork

      @Mark 85

      All government projects need pork!!!!

      In the case of fighting ships, it's when politicians select the shipyard to build the vessel.

      1. Simon Harris Silver badge
        Coat

        Re: Pork

        They tried pig fat but the radio operators complained.

        All they could hear was crackling.

  18. Rampant Spaniel

    Better not take it to India!

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Holy cow! A swimming crematorium!

      It sounds very "Warhammer 40K". If only one could use killed animals psychic energy...

      In b4 "was Himmler on to something" Charles Stross like.

      1. Scott 53

        Illuminatus!

        "If only one could use killed animals psychic energy..."

        Hail Eris

  19. Scroticus Canis
    Facepalm

    Using the wrong fat here

    Anyone with an ounce of vision would combine free Obama care liposuction for the 'Wall Mart Wobblies' ™ and convert their blubber into bio-fuel. Dual benefit of no need to buy the raw ingredients and will have a major benefit to the health (or at least appearance) of the American population at large (punny).

    1. BobRocket

      Re: Using the wrong fat here

      The Paper Street Soap Company already has the market on street fat. (but nobody talks about that)

    2. a_yank_lurker Silver badge

      Re: Using the wrong fat here

      @ Scrotus Canus - Have an up vote. Just the thought of this makes me laugh, solve the obesity problem and fuel the Navy. Have to think of a new slogan to make it happen.

      Also, since they shrank in size the clothing manufacturers world wide will be drooling over the sales in the US. Going to need new threads.

  20. JamesPond

    Who Pays?

    So we'll cut down on the CO2 emissions out the backend, but keep the shooty pointy things at the front for killing people....hmmm...well I guess they said environmental not humane.

  21. TeeCee Gold badge
    Happy

    Impressive.

    That's got to be the biggest two-fingered salute at the Middle East and the animal rights nazis ever made.

  22. Destroy All Monsters Silver badge
    Facepalm

    The asshattery, it burns!

    Do they burn pork fat when crusing around Muslim lands?

    "Today's deployment proves that America is on its way to a secure, clean energy future, where both defense and commercial transportation can be fueled by our own hardworking farmers and ranchers, reduce landfill waste and bring manufacturing jobs back to rural America."

    I foresse submarines running on NUCLEAR BEEF throwing out ORGANICALLY GROWN SLBMs tipped with WHOLE EARTH THERMONUCLEAR GREEN SHOOTS.

    1. Kurt Meyer

      Re: The asshattery, it burns!

      Said the expert on asshattery.

  23. Ian Emery Silver badge

    Way to go Yanks

    You already have the Muslamics pissed at you, now you can add the Hindu's to the list.

    Is it true the foghorn on this thing goes "MMMMMMMMOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!" ??

  24. BobRocket

    Beef fat

    I read it as 'covered in beef fat' which might have been some new kind of cloaking device (although the flock of birds following might be a tell)

    They could cover it in pork fat scraped from the barrel, might be useful in certain theatres (less stealth is better)

  25. Breen Whitman

    The average subcutaneous (under skin) fat depth for a US grain fed feedlot animal is 3 inches.

    Contrast this with paddock roaming grass fed beef such as in New zealand which is 1/2 inch.

    In fact the lean beef issue is so great for the US they import lean beef from countries like NZ to mix with their excess beef fat for the beef burger industry which is monstrous in the US.

    So I would be in intrested to see how this could disrupt said beef burger industry.

    1. Pompous Git Silver badge

      In fact the lean beef issue is so great for the US they import lean beef from countries like NZ to mix with their excess beef fat for the beef burger industry which is monstrous in the US.

      Australia you mean? Shouldn't that be the other way round? It's New Zealanders who emigrate to Australia, rather than vice versa. But you are correct; both countries produce the most excellent beef. I can see some very tasty looking Wagyu X Murray Greys through my study window right now. Yummy! :-)

  26. Chozo
    Terminator

    War machines that can be refuelled from the dead..

    Is it just me or is that disturbingly creepy?

    1. harmjschoonhoven
      Mushroom

      Re: War machines that can be refuelled from the dead..

      We will need dead horses for that.

      In june 1941 the Nazis invaded the Soviet Union with over 600000 horses. Most of them died.

      An unknown number of horses died during the battle of the Somme in 1916 with over 1 (one) million human casualties. And at least the German rations contained plenty of horse meat. Peter Hart, The Somme.

  27. JJKing Bronze badge

    "War machines that can be refuelled from the dead.."

    Mmmmmm, Soylent Green.

  28. NormDP

    In the Brave New World, the Navy will be able to rend the fat of its victims for fuel.

  29. gbru2606

    Purely propaganda

    All sounds a bit psychological to me. My undertsanding is the Cubans are not allowed to kill cattle for food, at least that was the case the last time I visited - Castro was still in power mind you. Sounds like a little story to undermine you nearest 'old enemy'.

  30. Kwll

    "The Great Green Fleet shows how we are transforming our energy use to make us better warfighters, to go farther, stay longer and deliver more firepower. In short, to enable us to provide the global presence that is our mission."

    What if they stay home, bombing no one, taking care of their own country, smoothing out contrast and come out with a humbler approach to others? We really do not need a yet another police state that systematically pursues his own agenda. You know, just for a change!:)

  31. Lotaresco
    Flame

    I'm very, very angry because.

    Beef fat isn't blubber. This isn't a blubber burning battleship.

    It's a Dripping Driven Destroyer.

    Get your facts right!

  32. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    if it runs on animal fat

    it will run on other hydro carbon fuels too.

    Like any other diesel engine, it doesn't have to be fueled processed black oil.

    I doubt that fueling warships with dead cows is the main goal of this project, if it is then crikey, that's morbid.

    The option to put peanut oil, dead cow oil, sun flower oil, rapeseed oil or even black gold into the tank is a good move.

  33. Dave 15

    WHAT A WASTE

    Fry your chips in beef fat.... they taste SO much better than those miserable veggie oil fried things.

    THEN use the chip fat to power your ship (or landrover)

    1. Lotaresco

      Re: WHAT A WASTE

      "THEN use the chip fat to power your ship (or landrover)"

      Thanks to you my Land Rover just died of a heart attack.

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