back to article The Bong Diaries, Pt.94: Bowie, Martha... and where's my knighthood?

“Here in my Car. I can only receive I can listen to you It keeps me stable for days In Cars" - David Bowie and Brian Eno: “My Life in a Bush of Ghosts” Jan 1st Grand Cayman I scan the New Year’s Honours with some dismay. Previous years have been studded with digital recognition. Past recipients have included an MBE …

  1. Stevie Silver badge


    A Stylophone is a synthesizer in the same way I am a world class footballer.

  2. Voyna i Mor Silver badge

    " and is currently designing MINSOCK (the Ministry of Socks) for Britain's next Prime Minister, Jeremy Corbyn."

    Corbyn? What sort of thinkfluencer is he? Surely Bong is actually working on getting Lord Mandelson into No. 10 at the head of a revitalised Labour Party with such forward thinkers as Tessa Supercasino Jowell (the new digital economy) at the Treasury, Simon Twitter Danczuk at the new media FO, and Jess Phillips at the third great department of State, Culture, Media and Sport.

  3. TheOtherHobbes


    That is... remarkable.

    1. BurnT'offering

      Words from Doteveryone - rendered as modern poetry

      Digital Women group leading digital Britain

      Services revolution rules - for Martha Lane Fox first ... everyone

      More network tablet!

      Prototype fair women, NHS colleagues!

      Get digital treasure, technology leadership pioneer!

      Brilliant Doteveryone age

      Leaders making digital tech recommendations

      Leading, making, reimagining

      Martha Lane Fox UK - unleashing potential chest prototyping

      Martha Lane Fox - inspiration, addressing Home leaders

      Martha Lane Fox - inspiration woman

      Martha Lane Fox

      Martha Lane Fox

      Martha Lane Fox

  4. chivo243 Silver badge


    you mean Gary Numan?

    Here in my car

    I feel safest of all

    I can lock all my doors

    It's the only way to live

    In cars

    Here in my car

    I can only receive

    I can listen to you

    It keeps me stable for days

    In cars

    Or have I missed something?

    1. BurnT'offering

      Re: Shirley

      I think you'll find Gary Numan was actually written by Spandau Duran, the singer from Depeche Division

      1. Roq D. Kasba

        Re: Shirley

        The thing you missed is the ¡Bong! byline ;-). Look at some if his previous posts, it just try deciphering his bio at the bottom...

        1. Geoffrey W Silver badge

          Re: Shirley

          RE: "The thing you missed is the ¡Bong! byline "

          So what you are saying is everything in the article is bollocks? Got it!

    2. allthecoolshortnamesweretaken

      Re: Shirley

      "Or have I missed something?"

      The joke, perchance?

    3. Frumious Bandersnatch Silver badge

      Re: Shirley

      you mean Gary Numan?

      And "My Life in the Bush of Ghosts" was Eno and David Byrne.

      So confusing. At least the pic of Bowie as Tesla (in The Prestige) is right.

      1. TeeCee Gold badge

        Re: Shirley

        Hear that noise above?

        That's the joke screaming by at Mach 7, 120,000 feet above your head.

    4. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Shirley

      No, it was definitely Randy Numan who wrote the theme for Pixar's "Cars".

      He also wrote the classic song from Toy Story, "You've Got are Friends Electric in Me".

  5. Snowy Silver badge


    your going to say "Bowie's avant garde phase helped create Krautrock. Here he is teaching Kraftwerk how to use a synthesizer" it should be a picture of him and not one of Rolf Harris.

    I would use the corrections button but it only works if you have an email program installed.

    1. Voyna i Mor Silver badge

      Re: only works if you have an email program installed.

      Or gmail. Works fine in Chrome. I haven't tested it with, though.

    2. BurnT'offering

      Re:it should be a picture of him and not one of Rolf Harris.

      Why? Rolf Harris was the man who successfully compressed the Sousaphone into the new smaller form factor - or at least that's what he claimed he was doing

    3. Anonymous Blowhard

      Re: If...

      "I would use the corrections button"

      You'll be glad you didn't when the penny finally drops...

  6. Unep Eurobats

    That pic

    is Bowie as Tesla in the Prestige. Definitely worth catching.

  7. Michael Wojcik Silver badge

    Ah, satire. So subtle, so elusive.

    I realize that some folks are reading their first ¡Bong! piece. And that satire is heavily culturally inflected. And that we all live under the grim ubiety of Poe's Law. And that many people are too damn lazy to pause for a critical moment when they read something suspect online.

    And yet. And fucking yet. Can you actually read this entire piece and not be at least haunted by the suspicion that it is not entirely sincere? That the "errors" some insist on pointing out are, in fact, deliberate?

    Honestly, I wonder how some folks manage to get through life without falling prey to every confidence artist and idle trickster who comes along.

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