back to article Philae's phinal phling: Germans made weekend spin-up attempt

The Deutsches Zentrum für Luft-und Raumfahrt e.V, better known as the German Aerospace Center (DLR) yesterday made what it says is probably its all-but-final attempt to wake the Philae lander on Comet 67P/Churyumov-Gerasimenko. Readers will doubtless recall that Philae accompanied the Rosetta probe on its journey to Comet 67P …

  1. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    I mean what is the point

    Science. What has it ever done for anyone.

    Space. From the faked moon landing to the exploding rockets it's just a dangerous waste of money.

    1. Diodelogic
      Megaphone

      Re: I mean what is the point

      dum pah dahhhh

      It's the Loony Pa-troll !

      dah dah dahhhh

      The Loony Pa-troll !

      LOONY PA-TROLL is GO !!

      1. cosymart
        Trollface

        Re: I mean what is the point

        Shush, don't feed the troll.

        1. Diodelogic
          Alien

          Re: I mean what is the point

          cosymart: Sorry. Usually I know better but the theme music just popped into my head, burst out of my ears, ran down my shoulders onto my fingertips and forced me to type.

        2. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: I mean what is the point

          Maybe there is a recipe to the perfect troll message.

          To know the subject matter the audience feels passionate about.

          To play to the fact that people seek confirmation bias and therefore react negatively to those statements which are contrary to their own beliefs.

          Throw in some commonly used assertions used by ill-informed morons.

          Sexual politics and outright insults are crude tools and should be avoided during the initial 'bait' stage but can be descended into when the hook is in and the rage is building.

          Human psychology is quite interesting really. More so than storage and containerisation articles...

          1. Chris G Silver badge

            Re: I mean what is the point

            It is also interest!ing to note that outrage functions much faster than for example, irony recognition.

        3. Mark 85 Silver badge
          Devil

          Re: I mean what is the point

          Why not? Let's feed them to something like maybe a hungry shark.

      2. Quortney Fortensplibe
        Facepalm

        Replies to "I mean what is the point"

        Wow! A "Multiple Whoosh!" –haven't seen one of those on here, for a long time.

    2. Peter Simpson 1
      Happy

      Re: I mean what is the point

      Velcro

      Penicillin

      Vaccines

      Computers

      Cell Phones

      Aircraft

      Automobiles

      Oil

      The Internet

      Well, yeah, but apart from Velcro, Penicillin, vaccines, computers, cell phones, aircraft, automobiles, oil and the Internet, what has science ever done for us?

      // need a Python (Monty) icon

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: I mean what is the point

        "Velcro

        Penicillin

        Vaccines

        Computers

        Cell Phones

        Aircraft

        Automobiles

        Oil

        The Internet"

        This is not science. And certainly doesn't need expensive 'space' activities to make it happen.

        1. tony2heads

          Re: I mean what is the point

          GPS

          Satellite TV

          Weather forecasts

          Vehicle tracking

    3. Cynic_999 Silver badge

      Re: I mean what is the point

      Fool!

      Without space exploration the Earth would not have been accidentally contaminated by bacteria-laden garbage ejected from an inter-stellar saucer billions of years ago, and so we would not exist.

  2. Steve Knox
    Headmaster

    DLR boffins aren't optimistic: it's known that one of the the craft's two radios are broken and that the remaining radios aren't fully functional.

    The one remaining radios?

    1. allthecoolshortnamesweretaken Silver badge

      Probably an estimate.

    2. Simon Sharwood, Reg APAC Editor (Written by Reg staff)

      You're right. But so am I. The description offered by DLR is that Philae has independent transmitters and receivers. I'm happy calling both radios. But I simplified things because it's kinda painful to get into the nitty gritty. Will tidy up now.

  3. Bluto Nash
    Coat

    The number of transmitters goes down when they're being counted, but then increases to up to 40x the normal number of radios in normal use.

  4. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Wanted: Intergalactic golfer

    Mission: Toe that sucker out of the rough and onto the fairway..

    1. Myvekk

      Re: Wanted: Intergalactic golfer

      As long as they don't take an interest in us, while playing intergalactic bar billiards...

  5. Ru'

    shaek ?

    1. Christian Berger Silver badge

      That's just a bad transliteration. I'm sure they meant "schäik".

  6. Alan.Griffiths.2013

    Mercury plummeting?

    "the mercury is expected to plummet to around minus 51 degrees Celsius"

    Mercury freezes at -38.83 °C

    1. Afernie
      Headmaster

      Re: Mercury plummeting?

      "Mercury freezes at -38.83 °C"

      You pedantic, er.... phase transition nazi, you.

      1. Alan.Griffiths.2013

        Re: Mercury plummeting?

        Thumbs up Mr Godwin.... ;-)

    2. NotBob

      Re: Mercury plummeting?

      Presumably it could still get colder even when frozen.

      I'm not interested enough to go and check it, but it seems logical that it might.

      1. PNGuinn
        Joke

        Re: Mercury plummeting?

        Good thing mercury doesn't expand when it freezes or the glass would crack. Then they wouldn't be able to measure the temperature any more.

  7. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Lonely wake-up

    Presumably there's a (small) chance it will come back up to temperature in 6.5 years when the comet comes back into the inner solar system? Although if it does power up, it'll sadly be talking to no-one as Rosetta won't be there to answer. :-(

  8. Quortney Fortensplibe
    Black Helicopters

    Scheiße! Der... Scheiße! Der... Flywheel

    I dunno much about Philae's innards but, if by "flywheel" they mean a flywheel in the conventional sense of the word, as in: "a big heavy bastard that spins really fast and can be used to aid stability and/or store momentum" –I would have thought that's the last thing that would be likely to function, given Philae's presumably deleted power banks and the amount of energy needed to spin up such a large mass.

    Methinks that, when this manouevre is tried [and if sound travelled in a vacuum], those in the neighbourhood of the comet might hear a noise not unlike that of someone trying to start a car with a flat battery, on a cold winter's morning.

    That said, I'll still have my fingers crossed they pull it off. Might as well give it a go.

    [Icon because, if you squint a bit, it looks like a comet]

    1. Ed_UK

      Re: Scheiße! Der... Scheiße! Der... Flywheel

      Upvoted for the (cryptic) Marx Brothers reference!

  9. x 7

    flywheel?

    so Philae wasn't launched by rocket - its just a long-range Parry People Mover.

    That wheel must really spin..........

  10. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Bad news

    Its dead.

    Bleedin' demised.

    Its clambered up the curtain and joined the Choir Invisible.

    It wouldn't "voom" if you put 50,000 volts up it.

    Its a stiff, berefit of life it rusts in peace.

    (source: Monty Python)

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