No big deal
As far as I can tell, most of his crimes are against spelling and grammar.
A British man is facing a possible five years in a Kyrgyz jail after ill-advisedly comparing local horse meat sausage chuchuck to a stallion's todger. Welding superintendent Michael McFeat was celebrating New Year's Eve at the Kumtor open-pit goldmine in eastern Kyrgyzstan when he posted photos on Facebook of a "fantastic …
"If you can see ANYTHING racist in there then you are inventing it. OR you are some lily livered liberal whom takes offence at anything just because...."
Careful there. I doubt the Kyrgyz government could really be categorised in the lily livered liberal department when it comes to racism and stuff like that - read this from Wikipedia:
A law banning women under the age of twenty-three from traveling abroad without a parent or guardian, with the purpose of "...increased morality and preservation of the gene pool" passed in the Kyrgyz parliament in June 2013. American diplomats expressed concern in October 2014 when Kyrgyzstan lawmakers passed a law that imposes jail terms on gay-rights activists and others, including journalists, who create “a positive attitude toward non-traditional sexual relations.
A wee bit fascist instead?
Hmm, sounds more Stalinist than Fascist to me which would be more logical given their background.
Then again I can never tell the difference between the gibbering Nazis and the raving Marxists, although I believe that there are those who think one's "good" and the other's "bad" for some reason. Must be something to do with who you decide to demonise, with an option to go on and exterminate, to motivate the agitprop boot boys.....
I didn't see anything racist either.. but then... maybe there's something where making reference to a horse's penis is making a slur against the Kyrgyz. Or.. I shudder to think, that they have become Americanized to the point of everyone being offended by everyone. Maybe the Kyrgyz need to establish "safe place" 'cause ya' know.. words hurt.
The scene of the crime: My back yard.
Time: Memorial Day, 2006.
Report: I was cooking brats on the BBQ when my dear old dad stared making comments about penises on the grill, which offended my wife, who decided that day was the day to go off on said dad. Dad didn't take it well and began a family fight the extends to this day ten years later.
Attempted to patch things up in 2012, no deal. Haven't spoken to him or a huge majority of my family since. I really shouldn't be surprised, there are folks who are 40 years old today who still flip each other off when they see each other over a girl in high school they dated. Long memories over really stupid shit.
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"Also in the USA, if the Ramones song 'Beat on the Brat' is anything to go by."
Beat on the Brat is a song about (and glorifying) masturbation. It is also illegal in Kyrgyzstan.
As, as it happens, are The Ramones in general, Boy George, George Michael, Michael Sam, Michael Portillo, Tellytubbies, anything with Hugh Grant in it... etc... It's quite a long list. Easier in fact to list everything that's not illegal in Kyrgyzstan: Potatoes, horse penis delicacies, summary flogging, "marrying" whom you're told to "marry" from the age of 5, praising the rightfully ruling government, voting for the rightfully ruling government, goat cheese.
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(For those (Skeptics?) who only speak a base clone of ye Queen's proper English a brat is a small OBNOXIOUS child.)
There, fixed that, and added missing "k".
As for people getting offended by everything and anything. I have a "T" shirt, on it is a blank speech bubble, and underneath it says "Someone, Somewhere, will find this offensive".
BTW, It seems writing in English requires a higher degree qualification these days.
"McFeat's slur on the popular chuchuck immediately prompted strike action by outraged Kyrgyz mine workers."
Uh-huh. Because in a happy, free and productive country people are ALWAYS striking when someone says something bad about their favourite dish. Remember the three day weeks we had to endure last August because Putin said that Chicken Tikka Masala was a bit bland?
Oh, wait, sorry - I was thinking of some other reality.
I suspect that the strike was caused by something else entirely. Corruption, poverty, poor working conditions, or the rebellion against a society strictly controlled by fetid excrements of disgust and dishonour who tarnish the very species with their failed attempt at being human.
If it happened at all, that is. But I'm assuming it did, and the government felt that a foreigner insulting their cooking was the best excuse that they could come up with for a mass worker's action in a very specific industry. Presumably the officials involved were too busy counting some bribes to do a better job...
(Posted anonymously, because these tinpot dictators are often nutjobs and I don't want to take any chances. Posting with my account didn't pass the "would you be surprised?" test for over-reaction from the ruling classes of Kyrgyzstan.)
If you feel you must take the (presumably, else why work there) high pay of an expat job in a country that does not exactly top the league in terms of human rights, lack of corruption, sensible legal decisions etc. then probably a good idea to be v. careful what you do and say.
A good rule of thumb, if a country name ends in "stan", think v. carefully about whether you really want to work there.
The UK legal response to the infamous Robin Hood airport joke tweet looks almost sane in comparison to legal actions in lots of other countries.
I've heard that British sausages are mostly made of lips and arseholes.
Personally I think it's just bollocks...
[I'll get my coat. In my defence, this is the family Christmas joke.]
Apparently in Scotland, the sausages can actually be square. I don't know why they don't call them squausages...
My son once made a similar comment about "horse's willies" when he was conscripted to operate a BBQ for his mother's horsey group - I understand that in his case the punishment was a total ban on any form of interaction with said horsey set for the rest of his life.
It is also my understanding that he was heart-broken about this and required professional counseling to recover from the disappointment.
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