back to article Bacon can kill: Official

As predicted last week, the World Health Organisation (WHO) has classified processed meat as "carcinogenic to humans". The decision is based on the findings of 22 experts from 10 countries working with WHO's cancer tentacle the International Agency for Research on Cancer (IARC). Having reviewed the "accumulated scientific …

  1. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    To which I say....

    BALONEY.

    You were not correct about butter, or other Dairy being the death of us. You foisted margarine and other hydrogenated fats upon us and gave us plenty of indigestible foods based on your recommendations. Your so called "cure" did more damage than the "disease" did. But then the health care "profession" makes far more money from "treatment" than they will if there was an actual cure for clogged arteries and heart disease.

    In short, I have no reason to listen to your comments or recommendations.

    1. Zog_but_not_the_first Silver badge
      Trollface

      Re: To which I say....

      In view of the WHO report I think you should cut out the baloney.

      Trolling, obviously.

      1. g e

        'Cure?'

        The only curing going on in our house will be a bit of best back.

        1. Pompous Git Silver badge

          Re: 'Cure?'

          My favourite Cure is Staring at the Sea...

          https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SdbLqOXmJ04

      2. Zog_but_not_the_first Silver badge
        Joke

        Re: To which I say....

        Er, to the downvoters....

        Baloney = processed meat.

    2. James Micallef Silver badge

      Re: To which I say....

      Complete baloney

      Saying "Processed meat" causes cancer* is about as specific as saying "ceiling insulation" causes cancer. What we need to know is, what exactly in "Processed meat" is causing it? Is it the preservatives, nitrites, acidity regulators, colour regulators or any of that other 'E-number' crap? Or is it also applicable to something like, say, Parma Ham (only 2 ingredients, pork+salt) ??

      If it's applicable to all processed meat (and this applies also to the "red meat" overly-broad category), what's the difference in cancer-causing rates between organic grass-fed free ranging cows and farmed pigs or chickens force-fed with swill and antibiotics in cages so small they can't turn around in?

      *actually, a slightly higher risk of cancer, but the correct terminology won't sell papers and page views, will it?

      1. Voland's right hand Silver badge

        Re: To which I say....

        Saying "Processed meat" causes cancer* is about as specific as saying "ceiling insulation" causes cancer.

        +1.

        I am not surprised that nitrites, other preservatives and anti-oxidants are carcinogenic on their own or as a combination with meat.

        If meat + salt +/- pepper, thyme and savory , namely Parma, Serrano, File Elena or any of the other similar "dry cured" _REAL_ processed meat from the northern rim of the Mediterranean region (not synthetic pseudobacon or pseudoham) is carcinogenic I would like tho understand what and how.

    3. JetSetJim Silver badge
      Mushroom

      Re: To which I say....

      Just add it to the list that we can all laugh at.

    4. Frumious Bandersnatch Silver badge

      Re: To which I say....

      You foisted margarine

      Margarine wasn't created for health benefits. It was created "for the armed forces and lower classes" as a substitute for butter [Wikipedia]. I don't think that anyone ever claimed it was healthy.

      1. x 7

        Re: To which I say....

        "Margarine wasn't created for health benefits"

        margarine was actually created to provide an outlet for excess whale oil, which had become superfluous following the development of mineral oil production. Without margarine the whalers would be out of a job

      2. Fungus Bob Silver badge

        Re: To which I say....

        While margarine may not have been created for "health benefits", it has been promoted as healthy.

        http://www.enjoymargarineeveryday.com/margarine-for-your-health

        http://healthyeating.sfgate.com/health-benefits-margarine-vs-butter-6001.html

    5. Someone Else Silver badge
      Coat

      Re: To which I say....

      To which I say....BALONEY.

      But...but...but...Baloney is also processed meat. We can't escape!!!

    6. MrXavia

      I thought everything caused cancer?

      Surely the more positive thing the WHO could be focusing on is finding out what things help reduce the risk of cancer right?

      And also, someone who eats a lot of bacon, probably is not eating enough fruit, veg & pulses (beans)...

  2. Ralph B
    Mushroom

    Website Down

    Judging by their non-responsive website I think the IARC are currently discovering that hosting information critical of bacon is carcinogenic to websites.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Website Down

      Only Dr. Onco Bacon, formerly at NASA, had any sort of explanation...

  3. EddieD

    Risk assessment...

    "increases the risk of colorectal cancer by 18%"

    That's 18% of about 4.5% or your chances of getting colorectal cancer goes from 4.5% to 5.3%, which doesn't sound so scary.

    Everything has a risk, we have to balance risks, and I'm not giving up my bacon butties when I've got a much higher chance of being mown down at some point in my life when cycling than getting colorectal cancer, so I might as well enjoy myself whilst I can.

    I've no doubt I said the same thing about cigarettes when I was a smoker...

    1. g e

      Mind you

      I saw a huge improvement in my general health when I stopped smoking over 10 years ago - every cold would become like flu. Now I barely even notice a cold. Mind you every smoker knows it's very bad for them, it's pretty self-evident after all.

      I doubt I would see such an improvement from de-baconing though.

    2. Ralph B

      Re: Risk assessment...

      > That's 18% of about 4.5% or your chances of getting colorectal cancer goes from 4.5% to 5.3%, which doesn't sound so scary.

      So, unless I've made a mistake in my (compound) maths, based on those figures, I think you'd need to eat a 1kg of bacon each day to have a 100% chance of getting colorectal cancer.

      I'm not sure what timespan that risk is spread over, but I can't help wondering if the bigger risk wouldn't be from a heart attack, based on that diet.

      1. John Brown (no body) Silver badge

        Re: Risk assessment...

        "I'm not sure what timespan that risk is spread over, but I can't help wondering if the bigger risk wouldn't be from a heart attack, based on that diet."

        Considering the red meat intake in the USA, processed meat especially in terms of burgers and hot-dogs, they must be keeling over by the 1000's on a daily basis.

        1. Fungus Bob Silver badge

          Re: Risk assessment...

          Given a death rate of about 8 per 1000 and a population of 350 million, we do keel over by the 1000's every day.

    3. James Micallef Silver badge

      Re: Risk assessment...

      +1

      Our decisions shouldn't be based on fear, but on asking if the benefit is worth the risk.

      From the (little) I know of cancer, it's clear to me that it is basically a risk of aging - if you live long enough, then your body is exposed to enough of (X) that it starts being a health risk. It matters a little what (X) is, since for some substances the treshold is higher or lower, but the bottom line is that the older you get, the higher the risk. whatever your lifestyle is like.

      Also, 50g a day... I eat plenty of bacon, salami, ham etc and even then it's probably still less than 50g/day.

      1. Jason Bloomberg Silver badge

        Re: Risk assessment...

        Also, 50g a day... I eat plenty of bacon, salami, ham etc and even then it's probably still less than 50g/day.

        It's surprising how small a 50g portion is. Looking in the fridge, three slices of liver sausage, two slices of peppered beef or thick-cut ham is 50g and one can easily shift that in just a couple rounds of sandwiches.

        I have decided to look at things the other way round; not so much how bad bacon is, but how much better off I would be if I stopped eating processed meats. I don't see evidence of any massive benefits. And something is going to kill me sooner or later.

    4. Dazed and Confused
      Pint

      Re: Risk assessment...

      > That's 18% of about 4.5% or your chances of getting colorectal cancer goes from 4.5% to 5.3%, which doesn't sound so scary.

      But only if you eat it everyday!

      Prof Tim Key, from the Cancer Research UK and the University of Oxford, said:

      "Eating a bacon bap every once in a while isn't going to do much harm - having a healthy diet is all about moderation."

      The problem with the "everything in moderation" message is

      a) it doesn't make for good headlines, so won't sell any newspapers

      b) is hard to turn into a product that someone in the food industry and sell.

      So there is no money in it.

      As a side note, given that El'Reg is the unofficial website of we, the bacon sarnie eating majority, why isn't there an icon for a bacon buttie? So I've used beer instead.

      1. wiggers

        Re: Risk assessment...

        If you eat a bacon bap it's the bap that will do most harm!

        1. gv

          Re: Risk assessment...

          "If you eat a bacon bap it's the bap that will do most harm!"

          Given the additives, preservatives, mould inhibitors, various processed oils and fats in your common supermarket "bread", I think that assessment has hit the nail on the head.

          1. Anonymous Coward
            Anonymous Coward

            Re: Risk assessment...

            Careful with that nail hitting -- a wrong move and you may get finger cancer.

          2. Dazed and Confused

            Re: Risk assessment...

            > Given the additives, preservatives, mould inhibitors, ...

            My local little piggy farm sell their own bacon in their own baps.

            Sadly the forum here doesn't allow me to post pictures of pork porn

          3. James Micallef Silver badge

            Re: Risk assessment...

            "your common supermarket "bread"

            Bread SHOULD go stale after a couple of days. What do they put in it to give it a shelf life of weeks???

            And really, is it that much of a big deal to buy a loaf of bread every couple of days instead of stocking up on 2 weeks' worth??

            1. Philip Lewis

              Re: Risk assessment...

              This is one of the few double plus good things about living in denmark. I have 4 top tier bakeries within walking distance of my home, plus an OK one. The bread and pastries and tarts etc. are relatively expensive, but they are handmade on a daily basis with the finest of raw materials :)

              Honestly, the only reason to buy a supermarket loaf is if you want to make Breville toasties (yummmm) and the square shape is a convenience.

    5. Pat 11

      Re: Risk assessment...

      In other words, if you take 1000 people who eat a bacon sarnie every day and 1000 who don't, 947 of the porkies won't get bum cancer, while 955 of the porkless won't get bum cancer. Most people won't get bum cancer, but an extra seven in the porky group do. So your odds of giving yourself bum cancer through eating bacon is 947:7, or 135:1

      I think I'll carry on with my weekly fry up.

      (But wait until,,, what about binge porking?)

    6. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Risk assessment...

      "That's 18% of about 4.5% or your chances of getting colorectal cancer goes from 4.5% to 5.3%, which doesn't sound so scary."

      Wrong way round, no? The lifetime risk of colorectal cancer, blending in all risk factors including drinking, smoking, bacon munching and salad dodging is 4.5% (4.8% in some sources). So by not eating bacon your idealised risk drops from 4.5% to 3.7%-ish.

      Or perhaps the figures have had the magic wand treatment, so that 4.1% ± 0.4% is interpreted as an 18% reduction in risk, instead of a 9% reduction with 50% uncertainty?

    7. Tom 13
      Thumb Up

      Re: Risk assessment...

      Thanks you for looking up the raw numbers. When I saw the 'insert scary percentage increase here' tag line I KNEW the initial risks were going to be negligible. Hell, even the scary percentage increase isn't really all that scary so they had to be reaching for PR.

  4. Bota

    Agenda 21

    Is why this is playing out.

    "It looks like meat, tastes like meat but there's no meat in this at all" -1984

    Also:

    "Diet, injections and injunctions will provide the state the sort of character the authorities deem acceptable" - the scientific society, Huxley

    This "ruling by experts" sham has been around a long long time. Read people. Read as much as you can about agenda 21.

    1. Ralph B

      Re: Agenda 21

      > Read as much as you can about agenda 21.

      No links? I guess the document itself (1MB PDF) might be a good place to start.

  5. Grubby

    Group 1

    There's just as much chance of getting cancer from bacon as there is from cigarettes? Smoked bacon must be like a bullet to the head then.

    Live to 100 without bacon. Live to 70 with bacon. Best cancel that 80-90s Ibiza holiday I was planning.

    1. John Brown (no body) Silver badge

      Re: Group 1

      "There's just as much chance of getting cancer from bacon as there is from cigarettes?"

      No, you misunderstand the grouping system used. The groups are based on the level of certainty of the evidence, not the risk. The WHO think the evidence is very strong so it goes in the same group as tobacco and cancer.

    2. Tom 13

      Re: Group 1

      No, going without bacon only makes it FEEL like you've lived to 100.

      Truth is you'll probably check out at 65 because the kind of anxiety that worries about these sorts of things reduces your life span even more than cigarettes do.

  6. Buzzword

    Smoking kills, so ...

    Just switch to unsmoked bacon.

    1. fruitoftheloon
      Happy

      @Buzzword: Re: Smoking kills, so ...

      Buzzword,

      I am given to understand that Chefs refer to unsmoked bacon as 'ham', or sumfing like that.

      I refer to it as 'wrong, completely missing the point'.

      Via our butchers in the village, our bacon and ham is sourced from: http://www.cornishfarmhousebacon.co.uk/

      Which is tasty beyond belief, and bizarrely significantly cheaper than lesser products stocked by those bastions of consumer choice that are called 'supermarkets'...

      Cheers,

      jay

      1. ItsNotMe
        Facepalm

        Re: @Buzzword: Smoking kills, so ...

        Ahhh @fruitoftheloon...me thinks @Buzzword may be writing that in jest mayhaps? Oh boy...................

        1. fruitoftheloon
          Pint

          @IsNotYou: Re: @Buzzword: Smoking kills, so ...

          Isn,

          indeed, I didn't want to upset our stateside commentards unnecessarily either...

          Have one on me!

          Cheers,

          jay

  7. wolfetone Silver badge

    You Don't Win Friends With Salad

    See above.

    1. Roger Greenwood

      Re: You Don't Win Friends With Salad

      Eating salad every day instead of proper food doesn't actually make you live any longer, it just feels like it.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: You Don't Win Friends With Salad

        I had a salad for lunch today.I put real bacon crumbles on top. :-p

      2. Tom 13

        Re: You Don't Win Friends With Salad

        These days in the US, eating salad is actually more dangerous than eating bacon. Our last couple of e. coli outbreaks came through salad contents not bacon.

  8. The Beer Monster

    I was that shocked by the news I had to go outside for a smoke to help me calm down.

  9. Chronos Silver badge
    Mushroom

    You first

    I suggest they try living without all the Class 1 carcinogens. Please let us know how the day WOO (without oxygen, as Mr Flibble suggested) goes. I can see some handy results coming from that study...

    1. David 132 Silver badge
      Linux

      Re: You first

      Upvoted for the Mr Flibble reference. You, Sir, are truly the King of the Potato People.

      Icon, obviously.

  10. Zog_but_not_the_first Silver badge
    Facepalm

    {Sigh}

    Where to begin?

    Relative risk vs. absolute risk

    Detailed breakdown of stats by sex, age, geo-location etc., etc.

    Impact of deregulated US meat industry on results (hormones and God knows what else pumped into pigs).

    Incidence of outliers

    Smoking doesn't cause cancer. There is a statistical relationship that suggests that the more you smoke, the more likely you are to get (mainly) lung cancer. But you may puff away until you are ninety and die of something else, cancer free.

    Ben Goldacre's Bad Science should be mandatory reading for the brainless cockwomble "journalists" parroting this stuff.

    1. fruitoftheloon
      Pint

      @Zog: Re: {Sigh}

      Zog,

      I am with you on that one matey (btw I don't smoke and my wifey by coincidence is a cancer treatment specialist).

      When I last had a proper job in London, I would regularly eat two awesome croissants filled with scrambled egg and crispy bacon for brekkie almost every day.

      A young numpty from the marketing dept said that it would put me in my grave prematurely - all that fat and calories for someone my age etc... I retorted that I cycled 100 miles a week to/fro the office in central London, what did he think was most likely to have an impact on my method of loosening mortal coils etc?

      Btw rivers and canals are much nicer to cycle along than roads, especially in London.

      I didn't get a terribly cohesive response....

      After the job mentioned above I used to cycle across Hyde Park Corner every morning, which put THE FEAR OF GOD into the non-cyclists (all the more so for drivers), then I pointed out that I dis-mounted and used the pedestrian crossing; I may be more than a little crazy, but I am not completely bonkers.

      Have one on me!

      Jay (former Risk Consultant)

      1. Alister Silver badge

        Re: @Zog: {Sigh}

        Btw rivers and canals are much nicer to cycle along than roads, especially in London.

        If a little damper, and more effort due to the drag of the water...

        1. fruitoftheloon
          Thumb Up

          @Alister: Re: @Zog: {Sigh}

          Alister,

          AHA! that is why it took so f'ing long...

          Cheers,

          jay

    2. Robert Helpmann?? Silver badge
      Childcatcher

      Re: {Sigh}

      Zog, I am a bit torn on your post. Thanks for the link to Ben Goldacre's site. It is definitely worth a visit. The points you allude concerning issues with a blanket announcement concerning processed meats are well taken, too, but you seem to have missed the point on smoking studies and have fallen for the tobacco company line concerning cause.

      The reason it is so difficult to assign causality to smoking's relationship with cancer in humans is because it is typically unethical to set up blind studies concerning smoking using human subjects. So tobacco producers continued to push back every time a new study was done ("It's just a correlation. It was an animal study and doesn't properly relate to humans. and so on...) while simultaneously suppressing any evidence that may have impacted their bottom line - the opposite of ethical. I remember from stats class in college that the only way to prove cause and effect through correlational data is to also demonstrate that there was no other possible cause for the outcome and that this is almost impossible to do using observational data. Perhaps a better way of putting it is that smoking has not been proven to cause lung cancer in humans though there is very good reason to believe that it does rather than simply stating that it does not cause it. I have often pondered what the world would be like if tobacco companies had to prove that tobacco use does not cause cancer.

      But you may puff away until you are ninety and die of something else, cancer free.

      So essentially you are saying that just because something doesn't kill you outright and something else might get you first, there is no causality? I apologize if I am putting words in your mouth, but the analogy that comes to mind is that of playing slots in a casino: the only way to not lose everything is to cash out early or simply not play.

      As an aside, I realized the eventual source of my demise would come in the form of smoked foods when I heard they were found to have a link to cancer.

      1. x 7

        Re: {Sigh}

        "Perhaps a better way of putting it is that smoking has not been proven to cause lung cancer in humans"

        Theres plenty of evidence that smoking causes cancer in human cell cultures

        One of my former employers makes a range of nitrosonicotines which are used as standards in the testing of carcinogenicity of tobacco and tobacco replacements. Several of the larger tobacco companies purchased them, just so they could test exactly how carcinogenic tobacco actually was compared to a known reference, and whether synthetic tobaccos were an improvement or not.

        Tobacco carcinogenicity is known and recognised: if it wasn't, then the companies would not need those chemicals

  11. disgustedoftunbridgewells Silver badge

    So what they've actually done in the minds of everybody who reads this is downgrade the danger of cigarettes ( read: cigarettes are as dangerous as bacon ).

    1. fruitoftheloon
      Devil

      @dotw

      Dotw,

      err no, perhaps some of them may actually do some thinking before opening up another pack or having fried breakfasts X times a week?

      Also how specifically is a carton of cigarettes as dangerous as a vac-packed chunk of bacon? I suppose the cigaratte carton does have MUCH sharper corners..

      Cheers,

      jay

  12. Solly
    Joke

    Well it's official: eating bacon is as cool as smoking. Mind you I should be careful since I knock back 40 rashers a day....

  13. Lusty

    Sausages

    For some reason they keep saying sausages in their message yet most British sausages don't actually meet their criteria for "processed meat". The fact that they are also suggesting things on a list containing plutonium are OK to consume "occasionally" kind of leaves me ignoring all of their jibber jabber. Perhaps we need more than 2 threat levels chaps? Deadly and safe seem to be confusing the issue, maybe we need at least Deadly, not good for you, safe? Although the same common sense which led me to suggest these three categories can be easily used to identify objects to place in each. Bombs - deadly. Bacon, not good for you but won't actually kill you. Breathing, really rather safe. Simples.

    1. Message From A Self-Destructing Turnip
      Headmaster

      Re: Sausages

      They do have more than two threat levels, five in fact, though outwith Group 1 they all sound a bit vague.

      ◾Group 1- carcinogenic to humans

      ◾Group 2A - probably carcinogenic to humans

      ◾Group 2B - possibly carcinogenic to humans

      ◾Group 3- not classifiable

      ◾Group 4- probably not carcinogenic

      1. The First Dave Silver badge

        Re: Sausages

        To be pedantic, that is really only three levels: 1, 2 & 4

        "Group 3" appears to be the equivalent of "Don't know"

        2A and 2B are sub-groups of the same level, again basically "Don't know, but some evidence of risk".

  14. Ashton Black

    @Zog.

    Agreed about the recommendation. Bad Science is a great read. A correlation statistic is not the same as a casual factor.

    1. IvoryT

      Re: @Zog.

      By your reasoning, nothing could ever be shown to cause anything, just varying levels of correlation.So, being run over by a car correlates strongly with death, but clearly very "bad science" to say that being run over by a car causes death.

      <rolls eyes/>

      1. fruitoftheloon
        Stop

        @IvoryFoundations Re: @Zog.

        IF,

        The reference is to a book, [clue] "Bad Science"

        Being 'run over' by a car is indeed shitingly bad luck, but hey, SHIT HAPPENS...

        I would a be f'ing smidgeon grumpy were i 'stationary' (as opposed to a piece of paper) when the bustard drove over me....

        /squiffy

  15. macjules Silver badge

    Why single out bacon?

    Bacon isn't actually a 'processed' meat is it? Most of the time the stuff we get here in the UK tends to be straight slices of swine flesh. And how, pray, do they know that it is processed meat, as opposed to any other type of meat/fish/vegetable that increases the chance of colorectal cancers?

    1. Sykobee

      Re: Why single out bacon?

      Curing is a type of processing. Bacon is cured in salt (brine or dry salt). It may also be smoked beyond that. That's why it is salty, and oh so delicious.

      Let's also not confuse American bacon (streaky, from belly) with European/British Back Bacon (pork loin).

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Why single out bacon?

        "Bacon is cured in salt (brine or dry salt)"

        Some years ago I was on a course for familiarisation with Japan and Japanese culture for a large pharmaceutical company, during which they mentioned Japan has a higher than usual incidence of bowel and stomach cancer.

        When I queried why this was the instructor said it was thought this was due to the amount of salt in traditional Japanese diets, a quick Google reveals there does seem to be a link between high salt intake and these types of cancer:

        http://www.nature.com/bjc/press_releases/p_r_jan04_6601511.html

        1. Dazed and Confused

          Re: Why single out bacon?

          > a quick Google reveals there does seem to be a link between high salt intake and these types of cancer:

          Great, can we have salt added to the list of known carcinogens too then.

          Then can we see how long people live when they decide to avoid it.

          1. Anonymous Coward
            Anonymous Coward

            Re: Why single out bacon?

            "Great, can we have salt added to the list of known carcinogens too then."

            We're talking about high salt content every day, and from looking at what the IARC has labelled a risk salt is probably already is on their list :

            "but don’t breathe air (Class I carcinogen), sit near a sun-filled window (Class I), apply aloe vera (Class 2B) if you get a sunburn, drink wine or coffee (Class I and Class 2B), or eat grilled food (Class 2A). And if you are a hairdresser or do shiftwork (both Class 2A), you should seek a new career."

            Wasn't saying don't eat any salt just that eating a lot of it seems linked to bowel and stomach cancers for the reasons given in the link.

      2. Nick Ryan Silver badge

        Re: Why single out bacon?

        Also important not to confuse common American pork with meat. There are more chemicals and other nasties forced into American pigs than are even remotely sane. This youtube video shows are pretty sane report on it (there are a lot of nutjobs associated with the reporting of factory pig farming).

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Why single out bacon?

      Also we shouldn't forget that a certain religion is dead agin it.

      1. MiguelC Silver badge

        Re: Why single out bacon?

        "A" certain religion? I can think of two of them, actually... does that hamper your bigotry?

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: Why single out bacon?

          No, it doesn't, but only one of them kills you for disagreeing with them.

        2. Mark 85 Silver badge

          Re: Why single out bacon?

          Religiously speaking... two. But is the one that has a armed military that will kill non-believers (if you eat pork, you're a non-believer). The other won't. So I agree with Ivan: one that's dead set against it.

      2. gv

        Re: Why single out bacon?

        Yes, those Jains are always causing trouble.

  16. NotWorkAdmin

    Call me Mr Thickie but....

    I'm now confused as to what exactly "processed" meat means. My impression of bacon is that it's cut directly from the animal. What else happens to it? Do I even want to know? And will I stop eating it if I do?

    Answer to the last one is going to be no of course.

    1. Peter Gathercole Silver badge

      Re: Call me Mr Thickie but....

      Bacon is 'cured'. This is what makes it different from, say, thinly sliced pork belly slices.

      There are several different ways of curing, including packing with salt, soaking in brine and smoking.

      Originally, the idea was to preserve the meat so that it could be stored and eaten later. More recently, the food industry chemically treats pork in a way that doesn't actually preserve the meat (proper bacon should last for months without refrigeration), but makes it taste a little like traditional bacon.

      It is quite possible that the modern way of making bacon counts as 'processing'. Whether the traditional methods count as well is something I would like to know.

    2. Mateus109

      Re: Call me Mr Thickie but....

      I agree Mr Thickie, I think we need to understand exactly what "processed meat" means. If bacon wasn't processed, it'd just be pork but 99% everything I buy from a supermarket has been processed in some manner simply by packaging it. So do we need another traffic light code system on the packaging? Green (low processed food) to red (highly processed cancer causing food!)

  17. moiety

    According to that I should have exploded years ago.

    And with processed meats; isn't it as least as likely to be the crap that they process it with rather than the meat itself?

  18. Whiskers

    Life is fatal

    As Dr Gabrielle Walker told us last night on BBC 4's "Every Breath We Take: Understanding Our Atmosphere", the oxygen we need to live is inexorably destroying our bodies at the same time.

    I suspect the WHO is just being a gravy train in this instance (carcinogenic gravy of course; I'm sure all food is carcinogenic if you try hard enough).

    1. Zog_but_not_the_first Silver badge
      Angel

      Re: Life is fatal

      Absolutely. Oxygen is a poisonous gas. If the anaerobic organisms had predominated early on we might have been their near immortal descendants.

    2. Mark 85 Silver badge

      @Whiskers -- Re: Life is fatal

      I suspect the WHO is just being a gravy train in this instance (carcinogenic gravy of course; I'm sure all food is carcinogenic if you try hard enough).

      This is the "problem"... Who paid for the studies? Who benefits from the studies? Is it some profit motive or some hidden agenda?

      There's a lot of studies being carried out and reported on. The problem is following the money and finding out the "why are they being conducted". I suspect that this is a hidden agenda series of studies and not profit based.

  19. Sykobee

    So a small increase in risk of arse cancer if you eat processed meats often...

    And a list of dangerous items that has all been grouped into a mere two categories... yeah, good idea. All this does is make the list look stupid. Plutonium, Bacon. Yeah, very similar.

    As with all these things, moderation is the key. Don't ban yourself (the regret when it's a false alarm may overwhelm, especially with bacon), but don't overdo it (just in case).

    And what's this thing about sausages? British sausages are raw meat and some herbs - where's the processing there?

    1. Mark 85 Silver badge

      One can find the same type of sausages in the States. Maybe not always at the big box supermarket but at the local butcher's shop. Yes, they're still around. Five minutes with a phone book or search engine of choice will locate them quickly.

      There is a big difference in taste and texture between the Jimmy Dean stuff and sausages from the butcher.

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      DHMO and Plutonium

      Both DHMO (Dihydrogen monoxide) and Plutonium are fatal if inhaled!

  20. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Pish and tosh

    Having reviewed the "accumulated scientific literature"...

    In other words, they've done a review of a review, thrown in a few assumptions and come up with the conclusion they were looking for all along.

    1. AbelSoul
      Thumb Up

      Re: Pish and tosh

      +1 for use of the word Pish.

  21. Steve Davies 3 Silver badge

    US anything Meat I agree

    given the amount of drugs etc their livestock is given as a matter of course. Then their sausages (closer to Wurst) than our types are naturally heavily processed.

    But frankly what food in the USA isn't heavily processed???? Just try to eat that rubber they call cheese...

    I get my Bacon from an organic farm. No chemicals just natural salt curing.

    Sausages are from my local butcher. No rusk or crap added. Nothing but minced meat and herbs (and the occassional dash of Marmite). If minced meat counts as being processed then..the world will truly end this Saturday (after the Rugby though).

    1. Anonymous Coward 101

      Re: US anything Meat I agree

      "No chemicals just natural salt curing."

      Chemicals, then?

      1. Nick Ryan Silver badge

        Re: US anything Meat I agree

        Chemicals, then?

        Yup - generally speaking everything is a chemical. It does depends on your definition of "thing" though. The distinction between "natural" and "non-natural" is astonishingly vague. Table salt: dug out of ground = "man made and nasty", extracted from the sea "natural and nice" all the while being the same chemical. Yes, there are different trace elements and mined salt has more trace elements removed and often non-clumping additives added (which are generally better for you than the salt itself) but that's it.

        1. James Micallef Silver badge

          Re: US anything Meat I agree

          Table salt: dug out of ground = "man made and nasty"

          Except when it's funky pink colour, in which case you call it 'Himalayan' and it is even more natural than sea salt and so doubleplus good for the health that it costs twice as much

    2. GrumpenKraut Silver badge

      Re: US anything Meat I agree

      > Just try to eat that rubber they call cheese...

      Rubber? I wish US cheese was that good. Actual fact: when a kid, me and friends would eat small amounts from our glorious collection of erasers. Each tasted different, some slightly nutty. Any and all of them better than US cheese.

      I am sure good cheese exists in the US, but the "American cheese" (that bright yellow goo) is a crime against humanity.

      1. Omgwtfbbqtime Silver badge

        "American cheese" (that bright yellow goo)

        Sounds suspiciously like Cheese: possessed as used to featured in British Army ratpacks.

        If you were lucky you got one marked Cheese removed.

      2. Bluto Nash

        Re: US anything Meat I agree

        Ah, you mean our lovely "pasteurized process american cheese food product," (really!), sold pre-sliced and individually wrapped for our kids to gnaw on while the grownups eat the real thing. Yeah, it's pretty awful.

    3. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: US anything Meat I agree @SteveDavies not on your life....

      Really, is EVERYONE in the UK as ignorant, patronizing, parochial and uninformed about Americans as you are?

      You haven't even a clue what people eat here in the USA OTHER than "It's not proper English food, yada, yada, whine, complain. Really, since when did England ever produce any 5 star food? It's (stereotypically) bland, fatty, starchy, overcooked and rank. And you eat offal, regularly. That's supposed to make me think you know what good food tastes like? NOT!

      Do you think we haven't got the latest "free range" this and that and "organic" cheese posthumously fermented in the wrinkly vagina's of ex nun's? That's appropriately describes what I think of certain soft cheeses like Camembert and Limburger.

      I obviously exaggerate but we have all the trendy and organic foods here too, you just have look beyond Krogers for them. But then you didn't look beyond your stereotypes of Americans, did you?

      It's like you people can't stop going on and on about something that is so simple to do. You may even be surprised that we knew how to do it without your assistance and have been doing so for hundreds of years.

      The vast majority of us gave up on Velveeta, long before grade school. Just because some chain restaurants haven't is not our fault. You still buy their crap and eat it.

      Some of us even had great cheeses to begin with. I'll wager Vermont, New York and Wisconsin already produce any dairy based comestible better than that produced in Blighty. Some local hams are being produced that rival those in Spain. And there are a quite a few wines from New York State that put your rotgut to shame. Locally grown beef (raised without antibiotics) is on a par with Wagyu and no where near as expensive.

      And in the end, it's a damn good thing that you aren't getting any of them; so there's more left for me.

      1. Pompous Git Silver badge

        Re: US anything Meat I agree @SteveDavies not on your life....

        "Really, is EVERYONE in the UK as ignorant, patronizing, parochial and uninformed about Americans as you are?"

        Dunno, I don't live there any more, but I can relate to it. My sadly deceased best friend was born in Puerto Rico and raised in Louisiana where following graduation he fled the draft by coming to live in Tasmania. In the late 1980s he went on a visit to the USA where his family inflicted what appears to be a typical American diet on him. "Instant" mashed potatoes, "instant" dehydrated peas etc...

        When he returned and I asked how the trip had gone, he replied that all he could think of was coming to my place to eat. Chicken for dinner meant a trip to the hen-house, vegetables came straight from the garden. Even the wine was made on the farm.

        I agree with you about locally grown beef though. I agist the neighbour's cattle in return for a freezer full of beef each year and it's wagyu x Murray grey. I also purchase a quarter of Hereford grown out for a year longer than commercial growers once a year. It's even tastier than wagyu and definitely cheaper than meat from butcher or supermarket. Home-made bacon definitely is an entirely different substance to what the supermarkets sell.

        Frankly I will stick with eating gourmet fare every day and the ROTW can subsist on food-like substances as much as it wants. I'm not going to eat any.

        1. wdmot

          Re: US anything Meat I agree @SteveDavies not on your life....

          Chicken for dinner meant a trip to the hen-house, vegetables came straight from the garden. Even the wine was made on the farm.

          Count yourself fortunate! Most people in the world can't do that, as they live in urban areas, Americans included. I'm sure there are also many that *could* do that but are too lazy to do so and just buy all their food. (But instant potatoes, really??)

          I consider myself fortunate as well, having a small property in southwest Washington state where we can have a large vegetable garden and free range chickens. It's large enough that we could also possibly raise one cow at a time, or grow enough grapes for wine, or something else. Just moved there and we haven't decided yet what to do with the rest of the small bit of land.

      2. James Micallef Silver badge

        Re: US anything Meat I agree @SteveDavies not on your life....

        @AC - Having been visiting over to that side of the pond, I can confirm that you are completely right*. US and Canada are huge countries that are also extremely fertile and abundant, and although dominated by large and 'nasty' agribusiness, there are still many small farmers and it's easy to find fresh healthy food *IF* you can be bothered to look.

        I would say that a majority or a large minority of Americans are unhealthy eaters, don't exercise, are very overweight etc etc, but to characterise all of 300 million people like that is plain lazy.

        * Except for this: "Some local hams are being produced that rival those in Spain.". That, I simply do not believe.

      3. This post has been deleted by its author

  22. Brent Longborough
    Headmaster

    My doctor told me...

    ... not to worry too much about what I eat, as worrying could give me ulcers.

    1. Erewhon

      Re: My doctor told me...

      Ulcers are caused by bacteria (not stress) and cured by anti biotics.

      American meat is similarly treated with stress during factory farming, given anti biotics ad standard, and cured with salt and a chemical cocktail of toxic crap.

  23. Kubla Cant Silver badge

    Which process?

    What do they mean by "processed" meat?

    Bacon is cured with nitrate and possibly smoked - two processes. Sausages like salami are made with quite a lot of nitrate, but I'm pretty sure the much-reviled British sausage is made with raw pork. Bresaola and biltong are processed by air drying - does that turn them carcinogenic? Come to that, cooking is a form of processing.

    Does this apply to anything "processed"? I'd be overjoyed if I never have to eat processed peas again - what is the mysterious pea process?

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re:processed peas Which process?

      I'd be overjoyed if I never have to eat processed peas again - what is the mysterious pea process

      the bain of 1960's-80's school meals, along with "greens"

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Re:processed peas Which process?

        "I'd be overjoyed if I never have to eat processed peas again"

        Me too! especially, especially the "mint" variety that relatives always used to serve up when I was a kid...the horror!

    2. Jellied Eel Silver badge

      Re: Which process?

      A process of elimination, obviously. That which might kill you makes more taxes.

      Curing is a double whammy which is why bacon is on the list with plutonium. Nitrates are commonly used in making explosives, and whilst there are restrictions on buying nitrates in bulk, there are no such restrictions on bacon. Therefore it is in the interests of public safety to restrict purchases to no more than 6 rashers a month to avoid terrorists creating a very dirty bomb. Imagine the chaos if something with a high bacon load was detonated in an area like Islington.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Which process?

        Probability of Muhammed Jihadi buying any quantity of Halal bacon, never mind sufficient for making explosives, is probably sufficiently close to zero as to make no practical difference

  24. Pascal Monett Silver badge
    FAIL

    18% per 50 grams ?

    So let me see. At an average of 200g/day for, let's say 360 days/year starting at (simplify) age 10, now age 49.

    39 * 360 * 4 * 18 = 1,010,880 % chance increase of bowel cancer.

    And if you consider the equation this way :

    39 * 360 * 4 * 0.18 = 10,108.8 %

    Something tells me this study is baloney.

    1. Jason Bloomberg Silver badge

      Re: 18% per 50 grams ?

      That was my initial thinking but I believe it is actually saying that 50g per day every day increases the risk 18%.

    2. Dabooka Silver badge
      Pint

      Re: 18% per 50 grams ?

      I read it as 18% full stop, not accumulative.

      And why not actually say 365 days in a year, instead of 360?! Or for that matter, 365.24 would be fine for your calculation surely?

      All moot anyway, a bacon buttie every so often is about the only treat I have nowadays

      1. Pascal Monett Silver badge

        Re: why not actually say 365 days in a year

        Because there are days I eat beef ? Or chicken, or duck, or maybe even fish ?

  25. Dwarf Silver badge

    Time to be realistic about things.

    So the message seems to be that the more they play around with our food, the worse it is for us, hence the answer seems to be not to mess around with our food.

    Does anyone want to take a punt on the news in 30 years time about genetically modified foods which is the one I really have a problem with.

    I'm also wondering if lentils, seeds and nuts are considered processed given that they take a bit of processing to get them from the plant to the table, much in the same way that a pig, a cow or a fish is processed.

    Personally, I'm taking that life's a risk and a risk is not the same as a guaranteed outcome. The only guaranteed outcome is that we will all die one day, so lets not spend the remainder of that time worrying about it.

    1. Grikath

      Re: Time to be realistic about things.

      "Does anyone want to take a punt on the news in 30 years time about genetically modified foods which is the one I really have a problem with."

      I'm afraid you'll find that all our staple foods are already very heavily genetically modified. Amazing stuff, breeding techniques. Curse those stone age ancestors for inventing the practice!

  26. Prst. V.Jeltz Silver badge

    process is a horrible catch all word. like "the content" or "the talant"

    means nothing really. Cooking is a process isnt it?

  27. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    The BBC is reporting that "Bacon, Sausage and Ham" are all dangerous.

    This seems to me like an unfair attack on our porcine brethren, and I think we should be protesting this obvious racial discrimination.

    1. Pompous Git Silver badge

      "The BBC is reporting that "Bacon, Sausage and Ham" are all dangerous."

      And they are!

      Put a suitable amount of bacon, sausage and ham into a large plastic freezer bag.

      Place in freezer overnight.

      Remove from freezer.

      Approach the bitch from behind and bring the frozen meat down firmly and smartly onto her head.

      Defrost the frozen meat in the microwave and commence cooking.

      Call the police/porcine brethren [delete whichever is inapplicable].

      "She called out to me to come and have breakfast and I found her lying there officer. And there's no sign of a weapon."

  28. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    First they came for the Sausage eaters, and I did not speak out—

    Because I was not a Sausage eater.

    Then they came for the Margarine eaters, and I did not speak out—

    Because I was not a Margarine eater.

    Then they came for the Butter, and I did not speak out—

    Because I was not a Butter eater.

    Then they came for the bacon—and I said F*ck you.

    1. Joe User

      I'll give you my bacon when you pry it from my cold, dead hands.

      1. Tromos

        @Joe User

        Don't just give up so easily!

  29. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    And yet despite all of this, I still haven't seen the headlines telling me that vegetarians live forever.

    1. Dazed and Confused
      Happy

      > And yet despite all of this, I still haven't seen the headlines telling me that vegetarians live forever.

      That's because vegetables cause cancer, just ask any teenager

  30. naive

    Next on the UN cancer list will be alcohol

    In support of the large influx of "refugees" in Europe, alcohol will be next on the UN cancer list. These Western infidels should immediately stop consuming all these sinful substances, like bacon and other pork meat products, to make them feel at home.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Next on the UN cancer list will be alcohol

      I take it all your friends are white and christian?

      Personally I grew up in a ghetto neighborhood in Manchester called Gorton (still ghetto btw) and I can assure you (without any liberal leftist philosophies) that in previous times (can't speak for the current) children of different races can actually integrate and maybe one day can eat bacon as our pork loving lord provided,

  31. knarf

    Is that REAL bacon or FAKE bacon

    What I mean is old handcured bacon just as bad for you as the new injected plastic bacon that we so often get in our modern shops.

    I'd really like to know!

  32. Palpy

    Yeah, OK. Think of it like poker.

    So I'm sitting across the card table from a guy with a skull for a head. I know that eventually this Death guy is going to lay down a winning hand -- a KILLER hand. Death always wins in the end. But sometimes the game can go on for a hundred years. If you're lucky, and and if you play your cards well.

    Say I'm 30 years old. I have a pair of sixes, and otherwise the hand is junk. Do I throw out the junk, draw some new cards, and try to better my odds of winning this hand?

    What would any poker player do?

    I'm 30 years old, and I'm 40 pounds overweight. Don't eat as well as I might. I know that Death guy is going to get me sooner or later, and I might prefer later. So do I lose some weight and cut out the daily bratwursts, in order to better my odds of beating him a little longer?

    It's down to odds, right, just like in poker. Death could lay down four of a kind, and I could fall down an open sewer manhole tomorrow. But there is an element of choice involved as well. If I eat a somewhat more plant-based diet, I might have a little less chance of having my colon surgically removed, or the arteries in my heart plug up. The cards are a little better, and I might stay in the game a little longer.

    Most of the dietary headlines are old news. If you don't know what a healthy diet looks like, then you've probably been asleep for the last 30 years. But you can play the cards however you like. Your game, man.

    ------

    Now I'm waiting for Lewis to chime in with an oppy that the WHO's bacon proclamation is a sign of global cooling.

    1. Chris Miller

      Re: Yeah, OK. Think of it like poker.

      Sadly, Lewis has been defenestrated - didn't you get the memo?

      1. Mark 85 Silver badge

        Re: Yeah, OK. Think of it like poker.

        Looks like Lewis and Tim are gone..... sad day indeed.

        1. Flatpackhamster

          Re: Yeah, OK. Think of it like poker.

          Bugger.

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Yeah, OK. Think of it like poker.

      Where Death is concerned you have to think outside the box, he probably gets challenged to games of poker and chess a lot.

      As shown in the classic movie "Bill and Teds Bogus Adventure", challenge him to games of Twister or Battleship, or if all else fails there's the XKCD maneuver:

      https://xkcd.com/393

      1. Palpy

        Re: Think outside the box with Death

        Yes, or challenge him to badminton, as in De Duva -- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8X2QmLWWxq4

        It's all good clean fun until someone gets shat on.

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: Think outside the box with Death

          "Yes, or challenge him to badminton, as in De Duva -- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8X2QmLWWxq4"

          Wow that was surreal, lmao

        2. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: Think outside the box with Death

          https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GzejK4-qZ2E

          "It's a Mr. Death, or something, ... he's come about the reaping"?

          A classic!

  33. Scott Broukell
    Meh

    What if the red meat comes out of a petri dish then, is that ok? Is that were this is going? Whilst I would welcome the complete loss of huge feeding lots for cattle, no more steroidal and antibacterial injections, no more GM grain feed, just vast led-lit factories, powered entirely by green energy, pumping out prime cuts if iSteak ("designed, dimensioned and imaginered by u and for u, with our app"), I am not so sure about eating locusts and beetles as an accompaniment - pass the sauce please, lots of it.

    1. Mark 85 Silver badge

      If you're being serious, I have to ask: Living in denial or FantasyLand? Have you considered all the chemicals (and the scale required) needed by these factories? How about the waste from these factories? I'm not so sure the world would be more Utopia like with meat from a petri tank (a dish is just too small).

  34. Brian Morrison
    Mushroom

    I intend...

    ...to live for ever while eating bacon or die trying

  35. M Bargo

    In the words of Vincent Vega

    "Yeah but pork chops taste good, bacon tastes good"

    1. Destroy All Monsters Silver badge

      Re: In the words of Vincent Vega

      "A Chernobyl rat may taste like pumpkin pie but I wouldn't know because I wouldn't eat the filthy motherfucker. Pigs are processed into bacon, and sausage. That's a filthy animal. I don't want to have nothing to do with any piece of an animal that gives you cancer when you eat it."

  36. DJO Silver badge

    As sung by Joe Jackson in 1982

    No caffeine

    No protein

    No booze or Nicotine

    Remember –

    Everything

    Everything gives you cancer

    Everything

    Everything gives you cancer

    There's no cure, there's no answer

    Everything gives you cancer

    1. Zog_but_not_the_first Silver badge
      Thumb Up

      Re: As sung by Joe Jackson in 1982

      Thumbs up for reminding me to dig out my Joe tracks.

  37. Amorous Cowherder
    Facepalm

    Gotta go some way!

    So I'd rather enjoy life taking a few risks than living in fear that I might die, most likely by giving myself a stress induced heart attack.

    What the hell ever happened to being sensible? Sorry, we're so desenstized these days that we need the Nanny State to ram it's latest terrifying threat down our throats to make us pay attention. So what if I eat bacon, I don't eat it every day! Heck I think I've eaten it twice this month in total. I've never smoked, I drink maybe a pint or two a week max, I try to walk 2-3 miles a day to work. I like doner kebabs and chips, sweet an sour chicken balls but I eat them maybe once every 2-3 months 'cos I'm over 40 and I know my guts can't take that punishment these days. Moderation. I love biscuits and crisps but I try to think twice before finishing off a packet of digestives these days. Moderation. While all those around me have hit 40 and seem to have gone mad and started running marathons and Lord knows what, plus cutting out everything they're told to in the media, they'll probably get run over while running!

    Me, I hope to have a few more happy years before my guts fall out of my arse and my brain is rotten from all the CJD, stress, strokes and onset of Alzheimers. I won't just stop doing things that I enjoy, I won't live a boring, uninteresting life ( not yet anyway ) with nothing to look forward to. Life is for living, not worrying about dying. You're going to die, fact. Stop worrying and start living.

  38. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    A fine example of junk science if ever there was.

    Can WHO be sued for fraud?

  39. steve-b
    Joke

    :(

    well, that's a pain in the arse...

  40. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    I've misquoted it before and I'll misquote it again

    I'll give you my bacon sarnie when you pry it from my cold, dead hands.

  41. chivo243 Silver badge
    Pint

    I just want to know

    Would we be in this boat if we didn't live today? Say, if we lived 100 years ago before growth hormones and antibiotics etc, would our succulent, juicy, and oh too succulent, did I say succulent pork products be bad for us? Is it the process used now? are there that many chemicals introduced into the process today?

    What happened to a pig that ate freely, was butchered properly and smoked with only good ol' hickory wood?

    I can't help but think of the Simpson's when Mr. Burns was diagnosed with every disease! But they all kept each other in check... I think we have reached our conclusion

    1. Mark 85 Silver badge

      Re: I just want to know

      You can still find that type of food. I can't speak for right side of the pond, but there are butcher shops here that buy their animals from farms that only feed grain, no antibiotics, etc. For things like bacon and ham... gently smoked or dry cured in the old method and a lot tastier than the "modern stuff". As for fruits and veggies, there's the organics.

  42. JakeMS
    Mushroom

    When do we start?

    When do we start banning bacon in public places, adding high taxes to it, and of course making bacon eaters stand outside in the rain while eating their bacon sarnie?

    Afterall it's now officially as bad as smoking as such bacon eaters should be treated the same as smokers it's only fair right? :-D.

    Now I'm off to eat some bacon.. and no I'm not standing outside to do it, in the words of rage against the machine to "WHO" "FY I won't do what you tell me!".

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: When do we start?

      Only if your gas from eating bacon is carcinogenic and gas from other foods is not. Smokers aren't banished to the rain because cigarettes aren't carcinogenic in the rain. They're banished away (hopefully) from non-smokers because second-hand smoke is carcinogenic to other people. Plus it stinks.

  43. Destroy All Monsters Silver badge
    Black Helicopters

    Absolutely Haram!

    It must be yet another Jewish/Muslim Conspiracy against the staple food of Central Europe / Asia

  44. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    They'll have to pry my bacon from my cold dead cancer infested ... whoa, no one want's cancer there!

    Did anyone seriously think the bacon was a health food? It clearly fails the health food test because it tastes good. For me it falls into the category of "everything in moderation" which is one of the few sensible things my parents taught me.

  45. User McUser
    Unhappy

    Getting cancer isn't even the worst part...

    The *worst* part is going to be the waves of intolerable smugness emanating from vegetarians and vegans once they read this.

    1. Destroy All Monsters Silver badge
      Unhappy

      Re: Getting cancer isn't even the worst part...

      It is a sad fact of life that I know vegans who got cancer....

      Cancer is the preferred failure mode of assemblies of self-reproducing, weakly error-checking von Neumann machines.

  46. This post has been deleted by its author

    1. Destroy All Monsters Silver badge

      You seem to fear the Karma Police?

  47. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Why do they keep pushing bacon

    Real bacon made by drying out pork in a barrel of salt is one thing the crap they sell in supermarkets as UK bacon that is full of known poisons is another.

    Getting real bacon in the UK is increasingly difficult, you find a retailer only for it to become polluted as soon as demand picks up.

    The fact is that UK food is so full of crap they would not be able to sell it in counties with integrity like Germany for instance.

    It is less of a cancer risk to smoke 40 fags a day and be a vegan than eat UK meat, CJD didn't fix itself, the pork superbug has already been found in UK supermarkets, chernobyl radiation still in lamb beef/dairy and all of it full of crap they know kills people.

    The UK used to have tight controls on food standards but today they have all been thrown away so the "meat industry" can sell you whatever they like without facing any reprecussions.

    Anyone still eating UK meat of any kind is signing their own death warrant and the veg option isn't much better.

    How many ex-smokers will be refused treatment for bowel cancer when it was eating meat that is killing them? zero because the news has already censored for years and it is always presented as being their own fault.

    Now you know make the right choice for yourself and your family there is still time

  48. Bluto Nash
    Paris Hilton

    Bacon causes cancer? My Ass...

    ...was recently (very) thoroughly investigated as part of my repeating "Congratulations! You're over 50!" party, and all was well. Living in the Southern part of the U.S., where the "all you can eat breakfast buffet" was born and lives on, I can vouch for the fact that a whole lot of pig has gone through me, with only enough scrambled eggs to avoid scandalous talk by the other patrons. Mrs. Nash will attest to the fact that I avoid veggies at all cost (because they taste icky) and am a frequent member of the "brown plate" brigade - having added no vegetables for color and instead covered it with meat from various critters - processed, red and otherwise.

    Paris because of chemicals and yoga pants.

    1. chivo243 Silver badge
      Happy

      Re: Bacon causes cancer? My Ass...

      I too have past the '50' yr. goal post. Having grown up in the cold, cold far western Chicago area, a good breakfast is mandatory! Bacon, yes bacon, Eggs, Sausage, both link and patty, Ham (big honkin' slab) Hash Browns and a side of Biscuits and Gravy was to die for, now it "sounds" like it may be really true?

      Anybody from the area remember Dot's Cafe? God rest her soul!

      Nonsense! I'm still living proof, and enjoying all the pork and pork products I love.

  49. Jusme
    Trollface

    Red meat isn't bad for you...

    fuzzy green meat is bad for you...

  50. Slx

    I seem to be suddenly dealing with loads of people who have cancer and I've had several relatives and a friend (in her 20s) die of it recently too, despite all the high tech medical marvels you could throw at it.

    I don't really know what to eat anymore. I don't really like processed meat anyway so, I think I'll be giving it a skip, but it'll probably make no difference anyway.

    You'd wonder sometimes, is this really all about lifestyle changes or is it just an after effect or the 520+ atmospheric nuclear weapons tests carried out back in the mid 20th century or thr cloud of household chemicals we all seem to use.

    Anyway, probably no point worrying about it too much.

  51. Tromos
    Joke

    All the flavour without the risk

    I do hope someone is working on eBacon.

    1. Zog_but_not_the_first Silver badge
      Gimp

      Re: All the flavour without the risk

      Nope. But iBacon - deffo.

      Hold it right when you eat it and you'll live forever.

      1. Bluto Nash
        Coat

        Re: All the flavour without the risk

        "Congratulations on the purchase of your new iBacon! Please note that this bacon is licensed, not sold. Subject to the terms and conditions of this License, you are granted a limited non-exclusive

        license to use the iBacon product on a single Apple-branded Serving Device (iPlate or iSammich). If you do not agree to the terms of this license..."

        Mine's the one with the crispy streaky bacon in the pocket.

      2. Tom 13
        Trollface

        Re: All the flavour without the risk

        I'll stick with the eBacon. I see no point in paying the premium just to get rounded corners on my fake bacon.

  52. Mutton Jeff

    Eat bacon, you die

    Don't eat bacon, you die

    1. Tom 13

      Re: Eat bacon, you die

      You die, she dies, everybody dies!

  53. This post has been deleted by its author

    1. Bluto Nash
      Trollface

      Did you know that real fried bacon tastes light years ahead of anything that tastes "a bit like bacon slice?"

      I may try it when I'm down to nothing but tofu. So, like, never.

      (and yes I saw the troll, just getting a boot in)

  54. allthecoolshortnamesweretaken

    Choose wisely

    Ah, well... everything that's fun is either

    - illegal

    - immoral

    - makes you fat

    - causes cancer in lab animals

    Joe Jackson - Cancer

  55. x 7

    Of course bacon can kill!!!

    If you don't chew the rind properly you run the risk of choking

  56. Thaumaturge

    I don't care!

    Life without bacon is not worth living!

  57. Number6

    Proposition 65

    Does this mean if I buy bacon in California it will now come with that stupid little notice attached about being known to the State of California to cause cancer?

    Not that the bacon over here is anywhere near the quality of good British back bacon. The easy-to-get stuff here is full of fat.

  58. WillbeIT
    Mushroom

    "Only one substance, a chemical in yoga pants, has been declared by IARC not to cause cancer."

    That right there is possibly the best line ever written. Well done Reg.

    Clearly we should all shag more.

  59. koolholio
    FAIL

    Sensationalism

    The actual study they used states:

    a) it is suggestive...

    b) "there are no studies evaluating the carcinogenic potential of meat in relation to its content of carcinogens."

    c) "we performed this study focusing on Spanish population."

    d) "the study population should halve the monthly consumption of these foods, and also not to surpass the number of 5 servings of beef/pork/chicken (considered together)."

    e) mentions chorizo

    Title: An estimation of the carcinogenic risk associated with the intake of multiple relevant carcinogens found in meat and charcuterie products

    Source: http://www.researchgate.net/publication/272028491_An_estimation_of_the_carcinogenic_risk_associated_with_the_intake_of_multiple_relevant_carcinogens_found_in_meat_and_charcuterie_products

  60. Nigel Brown

    The biggest danger

    is to my mental health from reading all the garbage that these organisations pump out.

    I'm not going to stop eating bacon, but I sure as heck am going to stop listening to 'experts'.

  61. Ray Merrall
    Terminator

    Death is inevitable to everyone

    Being born leads inevitably to death, unfortunately, there are those who try to artificially extend the journey from the vagina to the grave by removing all joy, pleasure and happiness.

  62. Mikel

    WHO?

    Get back to me when they've solved the Ebola problem. You know, the trivial little viral four day 80% fatal never get over bleeding from every orifice horrifically contagious flu that could solve our global warming problem by wiping out the problematic semisimian species that causes it.

    'Cuz they ain't done that yet.

  63. Bushwood Smithie

    Silly WHO

    Everyone knows that's it laboratory mice that cause cancer.

    1. x 7

      Re: Silly WHO

      "Everyone knows that's it laboratory mice that cause cancer"

      no, no, no. Its Beagles that cause cancer

  64. Nameless Faceless Computer User

    omg really?

    um... people don't eat bacon because they're trying to eat "healthy." Nobody cares about your silly study.

    1. Bluto Nash

      Re: omg really?

      And people that eat bacon have already carefully considered the various studies, weighed the potential for oncologicaOMNOMNOMNOMNOMNOM

      Because bacon.

  65. Tom 13
    Devil

    Not bad as articles go,

    but I think it really needs more of a Lewis Page AGW treatment.

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