back to article Caption this: WIN a 6TB Western Digital Black hard drive with El Reg

Wow, what bumper crop of captions this week, it seems that El Reg readers are pretty flexible when it comes to posting thoughts on gymnastic computer users. Thanks again to the regular posters, no doubt driven on by the knowledge that last week’s winner had already won once. Quite a few referenced the Lenovo Yoga device …

  1. disgustedoftunbridgewells Silver badge

    The Darleks sitcom spinoff turned out to be not as popular as the network had hoped

  2. TrevorH

    Clive unpacked his new HD projector from Ebay

  3. Fibbles

    It would take many years of hard work before Davros successfully miniaturised Dalek technology.

  4. Sir Runcible Spoon Silver badge

    The BBC screen testers didn't think the prototype daleks were very scary.

    edit: does everyone see dalek? :)

  5. Known Hero

    Oh Back in my day we had proper web cams!

  6. Sir Runcible Spoon Silver badge

    The new 3d printer made a good job of the tie, but the trousers were a bit on the long side for comfort.

  7. seanj

    TalkTalk's CIO decides it might be best to take his chances on The Grid...

  8. lawndart

    Massive biceps made easy with the new Charles Atlas Muscleator.

  9. Darren Sandford

    The early Hololens prototype wasn't quite as comfortable to wear as John would've liked.

  10. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Look ma, no bracers.

  11. lawndart

    It's taken four months, but I have finally finished my Gregtech industrial centrifuge!

  12. lawndart

    The ChunkyTech 6000 rpm spin dryer was later reissued with a much needed safety cage.

  13. This post has been deleted by its author

  14. Richard Jones 1

    Jeremy's new bargain buy highly directional long range microphone was not quite as sensitive or discrete as expected.

  15. TRT Silver badge

    When the CEO asked the PFY to install a new flash device, he didn't think he'd have to specify NOT Flash Gordon.

  16. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Vladimir Putin demonstrates the latest in Russian miniaturisation technology.

  17. lawndart

    Ohh, my interociter is installing Windows 10!

  18. mark 120

    Early adopters of Skype found the hardware requirements to be a bit more than they expected.

  19. lawndart

    And it was only then that the third letter of the CAPCHA became clear.

    (sorry for the caption reuse)

  20. Daniel Hall

    God Damnit James! This new selfie machine is incredible!

    God Damnit James! This new selfie machine is incredible!

  21. mark 120

    Shortly afterwards, Edward put a sign on the machine reading "Caution - do not look directly into machine with remaining eye".

  22. TWB

    The attempt to shrink the first webcam backfired.

  23. lawndart

    Some people will do anything to satisfy their craving for cat videos

  24. yoganmahew

    The first cut of the pocket interrossiter fails to live up to Apple fanboi's style expectations.

  25. Spudley

    Sure, Janice's new 3D holo-projector was a clever gadget, but the fun stopped abruptly when she asked it to produce the "perfect man" for her.

  26. Bill Fresher

    This kickstarter iPhone lens attachment is quite what I expected.

  27. Anonymous Custard Silver badge

    You think *I* look stupid?

  28. Spudley

    "Me Tarzan. You Dalek"

  29. Anonymous Custard Silver badge

    Exterminate!

  30. mdava

    Neologisms

    Geoff didn't know it then, but one day everyone would know these as "selfies".

  31. yoganmahew

    So the ATMs stopped and it turns out the old guy in the corner did have some use after all.

  32. Graham Marsden

    Now I sing a Helen Reddy song...

    (With apologies to Scott Adams!)

  33. yoganmahew

    Marty figured it would be some time before the world was ready for selfies.

  34. Spudley

    Just aim the laser right here doc. I don't wanna feel a thing.

  35. Bill Fresher

    Barry prepared to use the Laser Razor he'd backed on Indiegogo.

  36. Graham Marsden

    Henry had the feeling he might be under surveillance...

  37. Spudley

    No I don't care how big your death ray is. Just remember *I'm* the boss around here.

  38. lawndart

    The prototype "low energy" lightbulb was surprisingly power hungry.

  39. mark 120

    A young Sauron was very pleased with his prototype Eye.

  40. Mycho Silver badge

    Dave was excited that his first Arduino project was finally working.

  41. Anonymous Custard Silver badge

    Look into my eyes...

  42. Efros

    The new 160 gigapixel camera makes the new Galaxy S∞ rather unwieldy, and suitable as a backup space heater.

  43. Spudley

    The "Normalizer" beam had successfully converted Arnold back into a regular-sized human. Only the still-massive bicep remained to hint at what had been.

  44. Anonymous Custard Silver badge

    Let's do the time warp again...!

  45. Anonymous Custard Silver badge

    So is this 4K, UHD or what?

  46. Anonymous Custard Silver badge

    These home tanning machines might just catch on...

  47. John Tappin

    Although happier, the short sighted Dalek was still waiting for contact lenses to be invented.

  48. lawndart

    Monty75 wondered how he was going to fit this WD 6Tb drive he had won in his MiniATX case.

  49. Big_Ted

    1979 is calling and wants its webcam back

  50. Big_Ted

    Reg reader finds prior art for the webcam and foils Apple once again

  51. Spudley

    Dials set. Time machine active. 2015, here I come. What could possibly go wrong?

  52. Big_Ted

    Unless that lens is telescopic then you cant touch me

  53. Natalie Gritpants

    DARPA announces contest to build a tattoo removal laser.

  54. Big_Ted

    Any more of your backchat Cyclops and its ebay for you

  55. Oor Nonny-Muss

    EXCLUSIVE: ITV camera catches the moment before Simon Cowell's trousers were sent forward in time.

  56. Dick Emery

    Jim tests...

    Jim tests out his new Samsung Galaxy Mega selfie mode.

  57. jonathan keith

    Do I look like a mug? You expect me to believe that in the future trees will have ears?

  58. Spudley

    Dave's new Kill-o-zap blaster ray was sure to be the talking point of the dinner party. Now, if only he could remember where he put the remote...

  59. John G Imrie Silver badge

    Garrett Brown's first steadicam prototype was not quite as portable as he'd have liked.

  60. Spudley

    Bill had finally completed the prototype of his Clone In Your Home machine. Now he just needed to test it...

  61. steamrunner

    Little did the US Navy know, but Reginald had perfected the (almost) portable, high-intensity laser weapon in his mother's dining room some years previously.

  62. Nordrick Framelhammer

    No matter the angle, disgusting, filthy, vile scumbagware is still disgusting, filthy, vile scumbagware

  63. Bob Wheeler

    When the NSA started installing their secret spy cameras in everyone’s house, they thought it would be more discrete and not so easy to spot.

  64. Paul Westerman

    Version 1 of Kinect was larger than planned

  65. SW10

    You want to send me to 21 Oct 2015?

  66. Anonymous Custard Silver badge

    It was only when the cameras rolled that Hector realised someone had nicked his braces.

  67. Anonymous Custard Silver badge

    You lookin' at me?

  68. bob, mon!

    MUHAHAHAHAHA! I shall call my invention: SELFIES!

  69. Marcus Fil

    Sure that his innovation could save the British home appliance industry Arthur was finally ready to try out his freshly patented, all electric "Tie straight check-omatic".

  70. TRT Silver badge

    "Are you looking at me?"

  71. PK

    Internet of Things takes off with combined webcam and magazine rack

  72. Spudley

    Andy approached the device with care. He wasn't sure what it was, but he could just about make out a warning symbol on a faded label near the lens.

  73. lawndart

    It was no use. It took less than a month for Rod to accidentally break even this reinforced fibre-to-the-home connector.

  74. lawndart

    All he had to do now was build a couple of nuclear power stations and there would be an Earth shattering KABOOM!

  75. PK

    Ha ha Microsoft! Install Windows 10 on this if you can...

  76. MrWibble

    "No, I'm the one who makes the decisions"

  77. Warm Braw Silver badge

    Editorial policy meant Nigel's review of the Replihunk 3000's premium features only covered bicep enhancement.

  78. Anonymous Blowhard

    If only Greg could get his biceps-enhancing ray to work on his thumb, he'd be able to sell his car and hitch-hike for the rest of his life...

  79. TRT Silver badge

    Breakfast need never be boring again with the new Ronco "Toast-o-graphic" photo image maker!

    Just stand in front of the discrete lens and minutes later the toast rack on top will be full of delicious hot toast, each slice bearing your image. Or get the whole family in on the act and use it to reserve a personalised slice; no more popping off to use the bathroom only to find all the toast gone when you get back.

  80. Warm Braw Silver badge

    For one moment, they both shared the same thought: I'm staring at a huge knob.

  81. Baggypants

    "Jim, you ok in there? the next revision will be lighter I promise, and I'm calling it the Oculous Rift."

  82. ACcc

    "Just what do you think you're doing, Dave?"

    HAL - the early years...

  83. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Bob was surprised how much power his new ios facebook camera consumed.

  84. Locky

    The Doctor? Nooooo, I'm just IT Support. He's the one hiding upstairs. Calls himself a timelord but he can't even get his NTP service working right

  85. John H Woods Silver badge

    You talkin' to me? You talkin' to me? You talkin' to me?

    1. Frumious Bandersnatch Silver badge

      "An bhfuil tusa ag labhairt liomsa?"

      (http://filmbase.ie/short-film-yu-ming-is-ainm-dom/)

  86. Warm Braw Silver badge

    What do you mean - my character lacks credibility?

  87. m0rt Silver badge

    40 years ago in a man genius laboratory...

    "Ha ha ha ha! Siri, don't make me laugh. Take over the world indeed!"

  88. beirtipol

    Louis Slotin was thrilled to be included in the Demon Core's plans for fame.

    (might be a bit niche: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Louis_Slotin)

  89. sharkyblunt

    Edward Snowden finds North Korea's efforts to catch up with the NSA's surveillance capabilities surprisingly easy to uncover.

  90. Its_SteveB

    Poor Quality Entry 3

    Robot Wars 1939 now on DVD...

  91. This post has been deleted by its author

  92. h3adl0ng

    -> "Hello... Hello... HELLO..."

    "Now turn your head, Dave" <-

    -> "Oh FFS! Where's that bloody keyboard?"

    Windows 10 Hello is still in Beta and the hardware requirements are a bit... SteamPunk

  93. Rezillo

    Deep in the bowels of the colonoscope camera design department, it became clear that something had gone seriously wrong with the imperial to metric conversion process.

    1. The Corner of Moron

      Ah dammit man, you beat me to it!

  94. runningdeere

    Timothy was trying to ask Cortana for directions, but all he got in return was a long blank stare.

  95. Gary 12

    Smile!

    Bob knew Windows 10 needed an upgraded camera so he could login with his smile, but...........

  96. indiecheese

    You taking to me Cortana? Well I can't see anyone else here!

  97. Suitedlibrairian

    2015? Wait a minute.... You mean we're in the future?

  98. Benebby

    What's that you said?

    **PLEASE PUT DOWN YOUR WEAPON, YOU HAVE 20 SECONDS TO COMPLY***

  99. pewpie

    The Early Descent Of Man

    "No, computer.. You have it all wrong.. I tell YOU what to do."

  100. Hephae5tu5

    Q's new spy cam

    Now pay attention Bond

  101. Hephae5tu5

    Bond couldn't see how Q's new gadget would fit in the Aston

  102. The Corner of Moron

    Sonny's Aibo Beta was progressing more slowly than he'd hoped.

  103. Justicesays

    New IoT camera get "thumbs up" from Reg staffer: "With other IoT CCTV devices, you are always worried people wont know (or remember) they are on camera, or that it will be stolen by the thieves you hope to dissuade..."

  104. Skyenet

    Hey Doc.....I've just finished that new Flux Capacitor you wanted

  105. scm2njs
    Trollface

    As he logged in for the first time Wilfred was quite happy with his new PC as he thought “Despite the crippling radiation it’s still a better user experience than windows 10”

  106. Gary 12

    Bob had reservations about the new webcam needed to allow him to login to Windows 10 with just his smile!

  107. Paul_Murphy

    1) You looking at me? well are ya?

    2) Having made it more portable the new porta-light still needed way too many batteries to make it useful.

    3) His wife still hadn't found out about the new toy that Jim had got.

    4) The only plus was that now you could tell who Big Brother is watching.

  108. andyward1983

    Hi Mum; yes it's called "FaceTime"

  109. The Wobbly Trolley

    Transporter:

    OK Scotty...Energise!

  110. Its_SteveB

    Poor Quality Entry 1

    ...so Ann Summers are interested, but I have to make it smaller...

  111. Its_SteveB

    Poor Quality Entry 2

    ...Mr and Mrs Davros you have a lovely baby boy...

  112. mhs1973

    The "Honey, I Shrunk the Kids" franchise is actually a bit older then most would expect

  113. MarkET

    It is me - now log me in!

  114. Rufus

    Kickstarter pulls funding as the Laser Razor prototype turns out to be slightly bulkier than originally pictured!

  115. kyndair

    'you mean I won't even need to go out to have sex'

    'affirmative, with just the down payment of £6.99 I can project anyone you desire totally naked [whisper] plus £749.99 per month if you want it to be anyone but your mum[/whisper]'

  116. Rufus

    After getting the polarity wrong on the first Technicolor camera, John wonders how to put all the colour back again!

  117. kryptonaut

    Alan stood his ground as the Roomba-100 trundled menacingly towards him.

  118. John Tappin

    The evidence needed to prove the stain on his shirt did not disappear with an application of "Vanish" was getting a bit of a chore...

  119. lawndart

    "This is exactly how the Empire of Asad expects a drone to look, Gurgeh", said Flere-Imsaho.

  120. kryptonaut

    I for one welcome our futuristic one-eyed light-emitting overlords

  121. Come to the Dark Side

    Lord Sugars foray into security for the Internet of Things began with his cloud-enabled Facial Architecture Recognition Toaster

  122. Imsimil Berati-Lahn

    Time for TrumpTron

    As Kevin Flynn prepares for his next trip to the grid, he ponders "Man, I look good! Maybe I should fine-tune the Brylcreem rendering engine this time."

  123. Roger Kynaston

    Meanwhile in the networks office

    Dave wondered if the new multimode fibre interconnect might have some compatibility issues with his existing infrastructure.

  124. AdamG57

    No, no - You are a robot, _I am an android.

  125. Phil O'Sophical Silver badge

    You think that I can get you in to see our leader?

  126. AdamG57

    "You may be able to capture 3d images, but I can see in colour…"

  127. Evoflash

    Back in my day son, I wore a tie to take a gym selfie.

  128. Evoflash

    Head of Talk Talk massively impressed by advanced camera security system.

  129. EastFinchleyite

    iPhone Security

    Apple WWDC 2016. - Tim Cook's presentation of the prototype iPhone 7 retinal scanning device meets with muted applause.

  130. linicks

    Even though they had perfected the 'hanging' flat screen TV in the 1940's, the perfect design of a joystick was still a few years away.

  131. Semtex451 Silver badge

    When your Webcam is pwnd - assert your authority

  132. Evoflash

    Hmm, that cheap Chinese dashcam was cheap for a reason...

  133. Nick Davey

    Now....

    Now all that Jeremy needed were a couple of scantily clad ladies and some cats and his plans for Internet domination would bear fruit.

  134. Laura Kerr

    Open the goddam pod bay door Hal! NOW!

  135. Craig 31

    re: This close up better be crystal clear or i'm sending in back.

    re: This close up better be crystal clear or i'm sending in back.

  136. AdamG57

    RIP Soupy Sales

    So remember, boys and girls, find some of those funny green pieces of paper with a picture of Abraham Lincoln in Daddy's wallet and send it to Uncle Milty, care of Vulture TV.

  137. Semtex451 Silver badge

    Home X-Ray Kits recalled as evidence emerges of torso shrinkage, embiggened butts

  138. KnightGarion

    Shocked Apple Engineer encounters 1st iPhone prototype... "Are you talking to me, Siri?"

  139. Ryan Kendall

    New alternative to hair removal cream.

    Now with a flash. Remove all that annoying body hair and get an instant tan, with this all-in-one appliance.

  140. AdamG57

    Ya mean if I pose for ya standing on mya head an' hands, my pal AdamG will win a WDHD?

  141. This post has been deleted by its author

  142. KnightGarion

    Science Struggles... Out-sourced Spy-Cam unable to fit in shirt pocket!

  143. Bigpatc

    Seems like a lot of work just to tweet my junk...

  144. janhunter

    Me human - you Darlek?

  145. Vizique

    Q

    Q soon realised Bonds spy cam would need some work.

  146. Vizique

    ...

    Dr Banner was sure his calculations were right..

  147. TheCuriousHuntsman

    The Not-So GoPro

    The original design for the GoPro needed a few tweaks..

  148. MarkHudson

    First trial run of NTV on Noels House Party didn't go well as surprise camera was a little large!

  149. Andrew Ansell

    Despite being late and over budget the new government spy cameras turned out not to be as discreet as had been hoped.

  150. grumpyrich

    John's wife reported her extreme satisfaction at the UI of Apple's new ibuttplug contraption

  151. PrivateBaldrick

    Murray didn't realise he was looking into the left ear of his new WifeTron 9000 while telling her about the smart guy in charge around here!

  152. Ian Tresman

    Nice one Jack

    Jack loved his new pocket-sized smartphone... until he noticed the battery and charging dock.

  153. Larhten

    In the old days

    Taking a selfie used to be a lot more complicated.

  154. OGShakes

    Early webcam prototypes tended to have the side effect of irradiating the user...

  155. disgustedoftunbridgewells Silver badge

    BBC unveils result of £100m Digital Media Initiative investment

  156. Bigpatc

    Obligatory Willy Wonka Reference

    Look at me, I'm gonna be be the first person in the world to be sent by television!

  157. KnightGarion

    This day in History... "Look, the wife will be coming through that door right behind me"... the first internet porn video is born.

  158. Bigpatc

    Ow! My sperm!

  159. Bigpatc

    Mow this...

    ...my birth cry will be the sound of every phone on this planet ringing in unison.

  160. AlgernonFlowers4

    Biggus

    Dick was overjoyed when his internet order for a penis enlarger finally came

  161. justincranford

    The Internet adds ten pounds to my TV camera.

  162. AdamG57

    Leakproof

    Don't worry, boss, I've got that Snowden guy on ice in the back room - the secret of your new miniature spy camera is safe!

  163. justincranford

    Apple has come a long way from the first FaceTime prototype.

  164. kryptonaut

    Don't give me that "Ulla!" nonsense - you speak English or you get out of my house!

  165. 2Nick3 Bronze badge

    Mobile video chat just wasn't ready back when you had to have someone pushing the camera around for you...

  166. Bill Fresher

    Now to take my clock to school to show the teacher...

  167. linicks

    [Adjusting microphone...] Pardon?

  168. FatherStorm

    Finally, an attachment that makes the iPhone camera suck less! Shut Up And Take My Money!

  169. chairman_of_the_bored

    Steve Jobs was pleased with progress on the Apple FaceTime project

  170. Tempest8008

    Hello. My name is Lester Haines, and this is my video application for the position of Technology Tart for The Register...

  171. Tremendosaurus

    "OK, yeah! You can't see that I wear high waisters in my Tinder pic! But you're definitely not the Beyoncé lookalike that's in yours!"

  172. DarkLordofSurrey

    The El Reg Special Projects Bureaux admire version 1.0 of their bionic eye.

  173. Kane Silver badge

    Another Day Aboard Discovery 1...

    Dave: "Well, you did say you wanted a Retrofit, HAL"

    HAL: "That wasn't what I had in mind, Dave"

  174. DaveNullstein

    x-ray selfies are going to be the the next big thing!

  175. Joeman

    Look here, old chap, my trousers and left bicep might look huge to you, but that's only because you have such a massive eye!

  176. DeliberatusFreeman

    me

    ME? I build personal appliances that run on batteries... hello?

  177. Unep Eurobats
    Black Helicopters

    And with one of these in every home we can wipe out crime, you say?

  178. Little Mouse

    3" wide-screen UHD 50P screen? Check.

    Single front-facing speaker? Check.

    Toast-rack? Check.

    Time for a night in watching Breaking Bad. TV will never get better than this.

  179. Frumious Bandersnatch Silver badge

    So you're a Dalek here to exterminate me, eh? Well I am Devo and I'm gonna have your plunger for a hat, see.

  180. theOtherJT

    "Recently unearthed archive footage finally confirms rumours that the Microsoft Kinect, unveiled in 2010, was released significantly behind schedule and over budget."

  181. takuhii

    ...and it'll give me superpowers you say?!!

  182. ehup

    Hey, Siri! How high do you reckon I can get these trousers before I become a trans-gender?

  183. Hephae5tu5

    1930's Q to Bond

    It's a miracle of miniaturization, these spy cams used to be huge!

  184. ToFab

    Do you know what it is that speak French, has opposable thumbs and like blowjobs? C'moi

  185. Tom Silitis

    George's cyber-sex session ended abruptly when his webcam sprung a gas leak.

  186. ChunkyMonkey

    TalkTalk's new super-super-fast fibre optic transceiver was sure to get their customers back....

  187. gBone

    gBone

    Hello toaster, Three slices and a muffin please.

  188. mev

    The Star Wars IV - A New Hope reboot was certainly taking a different direction.

  189. CrashDummy

    Who just took the world's first selfie? THIS GUY!

  190. gBone

    Hello Lord Sauron, the NSA Palantíri is on loan to Dr. Who.

  191. shub-internet

    Unable to find his Piz Buin sun lotion, Maurice assumed that Elliman's Embrocation would work with his new sun-lamp just fine!

  192. plingwoo

    Now HAL, for the twelfth time, open the doors. Open the pod bay doors, HAL!

    Early HAL 9000 prototype shows promise in testing.

  193. alexgl

    "You're right to be afraid, Probulator2048, now it's MY turn!"

  194. plingwoo

    Uptight Dalek cyclist with head cam confronts aggressive human over a minor traffic infringement on his London commute to exterminate us all.

  195. sxsyl21

    North Korea

    North Korea deny new home surveillance program and claim it's a free new coffee maker for all!

  196. marshall

    Apple announces the latest addition to it's HealthKit. The Anal iProbe. Prostate examinations will never be the same...

  197. shaunmc99

    I bought this new webcam from Trotters Independent Traders, what do you think of it?

  198. IvorTE

    Heatsink

    Wow! This low power Intel processor heatsink and comes complete with integrated optical interconnect.

  199. Frumious Bandersnatch Silver badge

    "Say, doll, you got some pretty nice flange action goin' on there. How's about interfacing with me sometime?"

    --Cyberdating in the 1920s

  200. MonsoonX

    Entry for the caption contest

    Microsoft engineers decide to try mind control to force Windows 10 onto the masses.

  201. MonsoonX

    Caption contest

    Microsoft engineer focusing on why Windows phone hasn't been a success.

  202. Frumious Bandersnatch Silver badge

    The proton beam safety shaver worked perfectly. Well, apart from not being able to distinguish between beards and users' braces. Still, good enough for indiegogo.

  203. Frumious Bandersnatch Silver badge

    Boy, those schmoes at Sony, Microsoft and Nintendo are gonna be mincemeat when my lawyers get through with them. Nobody gets to use my joystick patent unless I say they can!

  204. Reality Dysfunction

    John was sure his new Lumia x500 Camera Phone was going to be an iPhone killer

  205. Frumious Bandersnatch Silver badge

    The "tea cannon alarm clock" prototype. Not a good idea then, and it's still not, despite what IoT vendors tell you.

  206. Spudley

    The one-eyed monster was unimpressed by Ted's protestations of innocence.

  207. John Stoffel

    Now Hal...

    Now Hal... I know you want to goto space, but it's MY turn first!

  208. This post has been deleted by its author

  209. Alex McDonald 1

    "Nice to meet you, EMC. I'm Michael Dell."

  210. Queeg

    GCHQ surveillance systems have come a long way in the last 40 years.

  211. Spudley

    Not content with hijacking the New Horizons probe, Fred was about to turn round and fill it's input buffer with pictures of Uranus.

  212. Spudley

    "Seriously, you think *I'm* the weirdest looking thing in this room?"

  213. Frumious Bandersnatch Silver badge

    Slick could hardly believe it. The shimmering face in the picture tube was really speaking to him. From Nigeria! And a prince, no less!

  214. hplasm Silver badge

    Oh my...

    I really hope the networks are ready for my 16k television - Ol' Gil really needs this job...

  215. Vinyl-Junkie

    My Kickstarter investors are gonna kill me....

  216. Spudley

    Mike's newly delivered 6TB Western Digital hard drive was somewhat larger than he'd expected.

  217. Frumious Bandersnatch Silver badge

    Young Davros was born into a privileged life with flat floors everywhere. No wonder that he never considered that casters might not be the most practical means of locomotion in a battle droid.

  218. JayB

    Even with his new Siri to Scottish translator eye-pod, John still couldn't shake the feeling Siri was taking the piss...

  219. Spudley

    Okay Bob, I'll buy that it's a interdimentional portal to another planet. But do you really think I'm going to fit through it?

  220. Spudley

    Things were going well. Doug had only just turned it on and already his biceps were starting to bulge. "Time to loosen my tie", he thought.

  221. Frumious Bandersnatch Silver badge

    You got it wrong, bud, I'm gonna probe you later.

  222. Frumious Bandersnatch Silver badge

    Let's get one thing straight, Glados: you do the working, and I do the ordering!

  223. Timothy Slade

    "Don't look now, but that cute DSLR just walked in the door"

  224. Timothy Slade

    "I'm feeling light-headed"

  225. This post has been deleted by its author

  226. &rew

    1) In the old days, the all seeing eye of Big Brother was a bit more obvious.

    2) In the old days, laser eye surgery was a more laid-back affair.

    3) It's a bit chilly. Should I roll my sleeves back down, or fire up the magnetron?

    4) Take a guess, is it a shrink ray or just a forced perspective picture?

    5) Bruce Wayne admires the new Bat-Symbol projector before sending to to Commissioner Gordon.

  227. Timothy Slade

    Now we can Coca~Cola brand the moon - beat that Peps!

  228. Frumious Bandersnatch Silver badge

    My mate Anatoli Bugorski assured me this is perfectly safe.

  229. TitterYeNot

    Dave the NASA engineer gets an inexplicable sense of foreboding as the first HAL 1000 prototype malfunctions and refuses to open the laboratory doors.

    Or on an even more retro note...

    As he lays down his terms to the dastardly Ming the Merciless using Zarkov's amazing communication device, Flash Gordon developes a fixed grin as he realizes he's forgotton to put on his braces and his trousers are about to fall down.

  230. Innocent-Bystander*

    Hey Cortana!

    When are you getting an upgrade?

  231. Frumious Bandersnatch Silver badge

    You think I've got a big bicep, eh? Well whey don't you try playing Counterstrike with a thumb stick this big?

  232. GranvilleA

    The Original Selfie

  233. ServerSauna

    'No, Skynet sent me back to kill the radio star. I have no idea who John Connor is'

  234. JimHam

    I wouldn't touch that with a bargepole!

    No... that's the selfie stick accessory.......

  235. FuzzyLogic

    Digital optical scanner

    The Specsaver's buyer obviously didn't follow their own advice!

  236. Wol

    There! Television perfected. Now just to check there's no patent prior art...

  237. No_Imagination_Tim

    In the Cold War a Russian sleeper agent readies a spy camera for covert installation.

  238. bigp2

    Doc Brown knew he had a bit of work to do before the flux capacitor would fit in a car.

  239. Stax

    I'm sorry Dave, but I cant let you go out dressed like that

  240. Stax

    I have entrusted the plans to my new braces to this protocol droid...

  241. Keith 12

    "They said I couldn't get a 4K Webcam running on Windows 3.1"

  242. DJO Silver badge

    The drive is really tiny, the encryption is great however the iris recognition hardware is a bit on the cumbersome side.

  243. This post has been deleted by its author

  244. MisterHappy

    'Great, hologram projector working... Next step, work on colour.'

  245. Frumious Bandersnatch Silver badge

    This "Dolly" he'd ordered from russianbrides.ru sure wasn't like all the other broads.

  246. Bob Vistakin

    They laughed when they thought Microsoft were late to the wearables party - lets see 'em laughing with this where the sun don't shine.

  247. Werner McGoole

    Returning to the year 2060 was going to be difficult. Ted hadn't reckoned on his time machine going back to the 1948 model alongside him.

  248. Frumious Bandersnatch Silver badge

    Pierce Brosnan gets a few last-minute acting tips prior to starring in Treehouse of Horror XII.

  249. Primus Secundus Tertius Silver badge

    The Dalek traction beam wins again.

  250. Frumious Bandersnatch Silver badge

    "Dutch" Schulz stood admiring his creation. "Finally," he thought, "I'll never have to stick this thumb in a dyke ever again"

  251. Oliver 7

    Edward's 5Mp digital camera was slightly ahead of the market in 1958 but at least he is credited with inventing the 'selfie'.

  252. Werner McGoole

    A butt plug for an electric toast rack. Now that's something you don't see every day.

  253. TheDysk

    Tom realised that his newly invented laser razor blade was going to need some work on miniaturisation.

  254. TheDysk

    John smiled as he spotted the newly installed big 'Do Not Press' button.

  255. TheDysk

    Dave unwrapped his new thumb controller joystick and smiled nervously. He realised that everything looks smaller in the adverts.

  256. Michael Sanders

    Who's got two thumbs and can microwave his own meal....THIS GUY!

    1. Frumious Bandersnatch Silver badge

      I gave you one thumbs up. I think maybe it deserves another

  257. kryptonaut

    In this scene from the Futurama stage show Fry meets Blinder, the secret love-child of Bender and Leela.

  258. Frumious Bandersnatch Silver badge

    Disintegrating eye, eh? Wait til you get a load of my smashing arm!

  259. Frumious Bandersnatch Silver badge

    Fritz Lang's Metropolis, where men were men and women had integrated toast racks.

  260. Jim Preis

    Blackberry

    ..although Blackberry reluctantly acknowledges a slightly dated form factor.

  261. Frumious Bandersnatch Silver badge

    Wow. Proctology sure has advanced in the last 100 years.

  262. Spudley

    "Yeah right, you've got another thing coming if you think I'm putting my head in there"

  263. clatters
    Coffee/keyboard

    Press the ANY key

    Er! Is is this big one on the front?

  264. tskears

    Six Terror Bites

    If this puppy fires up, I'll turn green!

  265. Duffy Moon

    Great! My new 8K projector is up and running. Just another 20 years to wait until some 8K content.

  266. Spudley

    Right, so if I'm a hologram... what does that make you?

  267. Zork-1
    Terminator

    The backup HAL on Earth has learnt to lip read too.

  268. Bluto Nash

    Early versions of ChatRoulette were far less popular

  269. Spudley

    Despite staring into the device for several hours, Phil still couldn't see any trees with ears growing on them.

    [reference to previous caption compo]

  270. Zork-1

    New IT manager introducing himself to the latest "AI software developer" he bought off eBay:

    "Me Boss! You slave; just like all those code monkeys I fired before."

  271. Frumious Bandersnatch Silver badge

    Sadly, all that most VW engines had to look forward to in the aftermath of the emissions scandal was a life of servitude as robot butlers.

  272. Simon Westerby 1

    Sony proof they really invented the Kinect in the 1960's!!!

  273. Ian Hodgetts

    The minimum specs for Windows Hello have since been revised.

  274. Monty Boa

    An early attempt to link hair driers to the Internet of things.

  275. aelfheld

    "You talkin' to me? You talkin' to me? You talkin' to me? Then who the hell else are you talkin' to? You talkin' to me? Well I'm the only one here."

  276. GrumpyOldMan

    The new Head of Windows 11 Interviews his human staff...

  277. This post has been deleted by its author

  278. Frumious Bandersnatch Silver badge

    "I don't know what the heck a "hard disk" is, but if that's what baby wants, then I'm the guy to get it for ya!"

  279. TomEDub

    The sex robot Charles ordered on eBay turned out not to be as advertised.

  280. Lazboy

    One Eyed Monster

    At last Roger had a One Eyed Monster to be proud of !

  281. Lazboy

    Unfortunately Roger had mistakenly placed the on / off switch for his death ray on the front...

  282. Lazboy

    If Dyson made laptop projectors.

  283. Lazboy

    Roger was more than happy to show off his guns to the alien woman on Planet X

  284. Lazboy

    Rogers latest video blog focused on the sartorial advantages of the high waisted trouser

  285. cortland

    You and me

    You and me,buddy, we're gonna light up Broadway!

  286. Trigonoceps occipitalis

    Having designed the first web-cam Alan Turing left the heavy lifting to Tommy Flowers who engineered the prototype.

  287. Trigonoceps occipitalis

    What's this say, "Push here to switch of TalkTalk".

  288. Frumious Bandersnatch Silver badge

    Nobody could accuse Charles Atlas of being a Luddite after seeing how graciously he yielded to Google Maps.

  289. Esme

    Fred thought Jeb's iphone projector add-on was excellent, but attaching it to the phone might be a bit of an issue.

  290. Kit-Fox

    A few hundred years into the future, millions of light years from earth & countless evolutions of the Oculus to make Holodeck technology a reality & the bloody thing can only handle black & white. I think we had better Boldy Go back to the time of colour tv :P

    (Trek / Voyager & Capt Proton just in case it went over you head)

  291. ElectricFox
    Trollface

    The BOFH devises a red button that nobody can resist...

  292. Neil Barnes Silver badge

    Giles was happy with the new toaster. But he wondered whether it really needed the iPhone app to control it.

  293. Paul 28

    And I want my Bulgarian Airbags to come out to here.

  294. Mike123456

    Dave had to admit, perhaps being head of Security at Talk Talk when he was actually a plumber wasn't the cleverest blag ever.

  295. Dan Deufel

    Who needs eye protection anyway?

  296. Dan Deufel

    Wow! This 100x75 pixel display is well worth the $76,399.95!

  297. MyBrainHz

    Damn those Japanese...

    I'm set to make millions from my new Digital Portable Handy-Camera, as long as those damn Japanese don't decide to start makin 'em smaller and cheaper....

  298. JDF2144

    Microsoft's first generation of Cortana for Android needs a little more work on making it smaller and more battery efficient.

  299. RadioEngineer

    So if I fit this to my VW Golf I won't need the software update and it won't affect performance in any way?

  300. MAF

    Bert sadly realised that his Higgenbottom automatic Selfie Stick Kickstarter project was never going to get fully funded...

  301. matchbx

    Calm Your Mind

    Calm your mind with Lenovo's latest device Sirsasana.

    1. Frumious Bandersnatch Silver badge
      Happy

      Re: Calm Your Mind

      Sirsasana? That sounds sooo last week.

      1. matchbx

        Re: Calm Your Mind

        Sirsasana is actually the name of the that yoga pose.

        1. Frumious Bandersnatch Silver badge

          Re: Calm Your Mind

          I know... hence "last week".

  302. Eye of Morden

    I for one welcome our frickin laser beam overlords!

  303. Lith

    Bertram decided that a focussed laser beam was just the thing to remove the carcinogenic bacon grease from his tie.

  304. WalterAlter

    "Watson, come quickly..."

    Quick, Professor Zelig, Planet Clacridox is premiering the South Central LA version of "Naked and Afraid"...!

  305. TechMojo88

    Anyone seen my missing 8-Ball jacket ?!

    You have enough pixels to capture this awesomeness?!

  306. rmd12

    #twoandahalfdaleks

    Say 'Winning!!!' one more time and I will hit you again!

  307. cruiskeenconsulting

    Why does my new webcam keep saying "Exterminate!"?

  308. goldfish

    Star Trek finally arrives !!!

    So I press this start button and it will transport me where ?

  309. This post has been deleted by its author

  310. paul browne 1

    Dave enters the record books as the first person in history to take a selfie, using a his brand new iPhone 1

  311. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    That it! A supercomputer on a head of a pin! The cooling system needs a little work though.....

  312. Mike 75

    Me Tarzan, you Jane - now turn yourself back on and wash the dishes !

  313. Frumious Bandersnatch Silver badge

    "See? There is no brace", repeated Doolittle one more time. Teaching the laser cannon phenomenology was a lot harder than he had imagined.

  314. JebusOfSuburbia

    You'll give me 100 tokens to stick what in where?

  315. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Anything is a dildo if you're brave enough...

  316. Stevie Silver badge

    Bah!

    Look here Berners-Lee, you may have invented the world wide web but without my "Web Cam" it will fizzle out in the public perception as an electronic filing cabinet for academics within six months, so you might show a bit more enthusiasm, damn your eyes! And for the love of God adjust your horizontal hold!

  317. drofdarb

    "Think about this HAL 1.0, one day your kids may go on to do great things.."

  318. Ian Emery Silver badge

    Prototype of North Korean rival to iPad revealed.

  319. Fungus Bob Silver badge

    No, its *your* turn, *I* cleaned the Augean Stables last time...

  320. He's Dead Jim

    After Ricky finally dumped that crazy redhead, he decided to give video dating a try.

  321. plingwoo

    "My name ... is Rodney, HAL .... Rodney".

    "... Not Dave ... Rodney!"

  322. plingwoo

    Refining an earlier entry

    Anally retentive Dalek cyclist, with huge helmet cam, remonstrates with insignificant human over minor traffic infringement.

  323. MalIlluminated
    Paris Hilton

    "Powerful, penetrating vibrations"

    Until the divorce, Searle had never once considered the peril of an artificially intelligent Hitachi Magic Wand.

  324. Spudley

    "No, Mr Bond, I expect you to die!"

  325. Spudley

    The head of Volkswagen's software development team faces up to the FBI's new lie detector.

  326. AdamG57

    Attention people of Earth

    I have taken over all broadcasting frequencies, and I will now sing "I'm a Little Teacup". 1, 2, 3…

  327. AdamG57

    "No, it's the director over there behind me who wants the magazine rack."

  328. AdamG57

    I can see you are plugged in and well connected, but I've got friends in high places too.

  329. Spudley

    Unable to win the argument, Gary challenged the intruder to an arm wrestle to settle matters. Gary always won at arm wrestling.

  330. AdamG57

    Even with Google Office View, the prototype Amazon MessageBot delivery droid often needed to stop to ask for directions from passing humans.

  331. burtmianus

    Apple unveils the new iCantBelieveHowGullibleBuyersAre to an eager audience

  332. Captain DaFt

    Hey robot! What has two thumbs, and is about to shag you? This guy!

  333. gavpowell

    The results were undeniable, but Geoff couldn't help thinking wireless charging was still in its infancy.

  334. gavpowell

    "OK HAL, follow me and I'll explain the pod bay doors..."

  335. He's Dead Jim

    Yes, as a matter of fact, I am the boss of you.

  336. He's Dead Jim

    A previously unknown screen test of Desi Arnez trying out for the role of Travis Bickle.

  337. He's Dead Jim

    His new Vita-Ray machine gave him pythons that would make Hulk Hogan jealous.

  338. He's Dead Jim

    Ok, it worked on the arms, so now let's point it at the trouser snake.

  339. Kev99 Bronze badge

    Really, Cortana, this is my computer.

    Okay, Microsoft, you have my electrocardiogram. Now will you let me activate Windows?

    This new tablet camera is just a little to big to be mobile.

  340. notfunny_notfunnyatall

    In an enthusiastic but ill-fated move, Norman challenged the Trouser-O-Matic to pull his strides up even further.

  341. paul-m-w72

    So i hear they want a back to the future day... let me just pres this butto....

  342. fictiva

    Hello? GCHQ? NSA? - I'm ready for my closeup!

  343. fictiva

    Hello?? GCHQ? NSA? - I'm ready for my closeup!

  344. He's Dead Jim

    These bleeds right here?

    You're gonna shove these bleeds up this nose?

  345. DancesWithLice

    "Who? Me? Kiss you... right on the glass? Oh, you dirty, dirty, beautiful beast..."

  346. DancesWithLice

    With the spy cam fully operational, Jim just had to build a false wall with porthole windows before his girlfriend came round.

  347. Thaumaturge

    See, I told you it was a bad 5U4!

  348. Doctor Syntax Silver badge

    Ron's demonstration of advanced lift-thumbing technique had an unwelcome outcome.

  349. Doctor Syntax Silver badge

    Advice to hitch-hikers

    1. Be careful who you thumb a lift from.

  350. Doctor Syntax Silver badge

    The Computer Museum should have realised its new acquisition was the pre-production version of the Dalek.

  351. Doctor Syntax Silver badge

    This lone boffin of the 1930s could never have realised what he was starting.

  352. Doctor Syntax Silver badge

    Reg Thorpe wrote and starred in the Little Dunny Amateur Player's latest production "Hitch-hiker's Guide to the Daleks".

  353. Lazboy

    Roger had been led to believe by the salesman in PC World that his webcam was state of the art and compatible with Windows 10

  354. Doctor Syntax Silver badge

    The inventor of the first colour TV camera is overjoyed when the quietly spoken constable reassures him that one day someone will invent a colour TV set.

  355. Lazboy

    Roger was not very observant and had only just become aware of the spy camera installed in his bedroom by his parents

  356. Lazboy

    Before the Hubble Space Telescope there had been the less successful Hubble webcam

  357. Doctor Syntax Silver badge

    Deep in the basement the boss thought his secret weapon would finally defeat the BOFH. Little did he know he'd already been hacked.

  358. Lazboy

    The only advise the IT help desk could offer Roger when he had problems with his new sex robot was to turn on and off again.

  359. Lazboy

    Roger feared that someone had remotely accessed his webcam and was watching his every move.

  360. Lazboy

    In order to pay off his student loans Roger had taken to performing live webcam shows

  361. Huns n Hoses

    No, no - robot clean, professor Greg go out and party

  362. Doctor Syntax Silver badge

    Fred discovers that TalkTalk's customer service agents really are robots.

  363. Doctor Syntax Silver badge

    John is reassured when TalkTalk's chief security officer tells him that yes, security of his personal data is important to them.

  364. Werner McGoole

    As part of a fresh cash injection, the Government has unveiled the technology that will allow the NHS to bring cancer survival rates in the UK up to European standards.

  365. Huns n Hoses

    Few people remember the box brownie's less successful predecessor, crate brownie

  366. Jon Bradley

    James was beginning to realise that internet dating was probably more trouble than it was worth..

  367. flipflopper

    At a secret meeting Sony and Talk Talk proudly show off their most advanced security systems: the eyeCamera and Biff Knucklehead.

  368. Lazboy

    Roger had been considering changing his service provider to Talk Talk but their lack of data encryption and the size of their set top box concerned him.

  369. Lazboy

    Aldi's latest special offer had been too good to miss but Rodger had no idea exactly what it was as he had only been after a pair of cycle shorts.

  370. Frumious Bandersnatch Silver badge

    A quick shufti in the Perliscope and a foolproof pattern for winning entries stood revealed: [-a-zA-Z0-9,!.:;()'"?/ ]+

  371. Warm Braw Silver badge

    Pulling miles of 8" diameter fibre had done wonders for Chip's upper body strength, but he was not convinced about optical communication's practicality.

  372. Camilla Smythe Silver badge

    Just Prior to being Carbonised...

    Chuck pointed out where Ms Clothes Washer 2000™, the future of 'Clean Clothes Whilst You Wear Them™', had missed the bit where he had placed a Biro the wrong way up in his shirt pocket Biro Holder.

  373. Spudley

    Hello and welcome to The Frost Report. This week we are investigating steroid use in among weightlifters.

  374. Spudley

    "All together now, I'm a lumberjack and I'm okay..."

  375. Spudley

    Unfortunately for Richard Nixon, his new autocue machine got stuck, right at the critical point in the speech about him being a crook. Or was that not being a crook? D'Oh!

  376. Spudley

    John practiced his sales pitch for his patented Iceberg-Melt-O-Tron ahead of his important meeting with the captain of the Titanic.

  377. x 7 Silver badge

    I never realised getting rid of tooth cavities could be so painless

  378. Jim 40

    You talkin' to me?

  379. Jim 40

    "I'm sorry Dave, I'm afraid I can't do that"

  380. Regregreg

    USB punch canon mark1

    The first USB punch canon was primed and ready for its first victim

  381. oldcoder

    A bit big for a flashlight, isn't it?

  382. Ciaran McHale

    Honey, I won the eBay auction for the giant door knob with a built-in magazine rack.

  383. Ciaran McHale

    Friedland's prototype wireless doorbell push button was bulky, but it had amazing range.

  384. Ciaran McHale

    The widescreen television hanging on the wall was impressively slim, but the remote control was a bit bulky.

  385. Ciaran McHale

    Rob used a 3D printer to create a case with built-in heatsink for the PDP 11 motherboard he bought on eBay.

  386. Peter Gathercole Silver badge

    Despite having invented wall-mounted flat screen television, and having a prototype three-colour projector on the bench and a revolutionary overhead projector discarded on the floor, Kirk though that the automatic shirt spot-cleaner was the product he wanted to develop.

  387. Lazboy

    Roger was a geek and of course a man so simply had not bothered to read the manual

  388. Lazboy

    Roger had finally got his money's worth from Amazon Prime by insisting on next day delivery of his new death ray.

  389. ecofeco Silver badge

    My Turbo Encabulator is finally complete now that I've installed the six hydrocoptic marzel vanes! Who's the bad boy around here now, huh?!

  390. Rob F

    The GoPro predecessor was slightly larger than Ted expected.

  391. Lazboy

    Roger had never been so excited about a product since Clive Sinclair introduced the revolutionary Sinclair C5

  392. Lazboy

    If nothing else the sheer size of Rogers thingamajig would impress the ladies

  393. Lazboy

    Roger feared that Iris recognition would never be widely adopted

  394. j5v

    "They said they could convert a human body into 6TB of data. Ridiculous! Wait, you're not going to start that thing, are you?"

  395. Nickgorrell

    Barry started to have second thoughts after signing up to be the test pilot for for the very first endoscope.

  396. x 7 Silver badge

    Really? One shot from this and I can forget the daily viagra pill? Gimme two shots.....I wanna be sure

  397. Iamnotmonolingual

    IGOR: "Robot, the Professor let ME in charge of the lab! Now you just go and exterminate anything that resembles a rat."

    ROBOT: "Smaller furry mammals... EXTERMINATE! Command accepted."

  398. Al fazed

    one for the oldies

    Ooh goody, they've brought back the Start button

  399. smot

    Winston thought that the new mobile Big Brother was possibly a tad more noticeable than the home edition.

  400. Spudley

    "Look into the eyes... not around the eyes, in the eyes."

  401. Spudley

    After several hours of trying, Donald was beginning to lose faith in his hypnosis skills.

  402. Spudley

    Dan had an impressive left hook alright, but his opponent simply wasn't going to be intimidated.

  403. Rol Silver badge

    Bruce Banner thought to himself, " My friends will be green with envy when they see what I picked at the flea market"

    Alas it wasn't the orgon accumulator he had hoped for.

  404. Wolfclaw Silver badge

    Hackers use latest video conference kit supplied by Talk Talk for ransom demand.

  405. Neoc

    Davros greets Dalek 0.1

  406. Jonski

    The next design Charles Babbage worked on after his Difference Engine, would (with time and transistor miniaturisation), finally see light as the Hitachi Magic Wand.

  407. Buster

    Me! No, I am not Sara Connor.

  408. Spudley

    "Very funny," said Herman Munster. "Now turn me back again."

  409. michaelJ

    Archive footage shows Apple Boffin training prototype Siri

  410. Bbbbit

    It was all smiles for Tod's webcam installation...until he tried to find some non-proprietary Linux drivers.

  411. Speeednet

    Are you sure this tan will make me look like a builder?

  412. Speeednet

    Beam me up Mr Gates

  413. Austin Allegro

    British Leyland diversify and produce a portable telephone.

  414. Austin Allegro

    British Leyland diversify and release their mobile phone.

  415. MCJIT

    The new Amstrad web cam was a little late to market....

  416. Edward Black

    I think my new selfie machine might still need a bit of work.

  417. Jona

    UK High Street Bank replaces annoying log in password tokens with innovative face recognition security tech. Easy to use anywhere (if you have have biceps like a gorilla).

  418. Keith 12

    GCHQ tests it's new Citizen surveillance hardware...

  419. J Perseo

    Disney Prequil

    TRON: Beta Test

  420. Keith 12

    No, said Fred - do I look like bloody Assange?

  421. Francis Boyle Silver badge

    Hang on Clara!

    Suddenly the Doctor understood why he'd had the strange compulsion to visit Charles Atlas in 1937.

  422. Steve Kennedy

    comp

    HAL comes out of his shell

  423. gavpowell

    "Flatpack furniture - it never quite turns out as expected"

  424. gavpowell

    TalkTalk's new Head of Security receives last-minute advice before facing the press.

  425. KR Caddis

    Yes Morris, I'm quite pleased with my new Analog Android cellular now that the screen is reasonably sized...

  426. x 7 Silver badge

    "So one blast and the unwanted staff vanish?

    "Tim, Lewis, where are you? Come here now!"

  427. theleader

    My new Webcam

    "I'm not at home just at the moment, Please leave a video message after the Beep!"

    Just setting my latest video answer phone!

  428. CustomEyes

    Finally retina login was beginning to look feasible.

  429. CustomEyes

    The Dolly Parton robot was starting to take shape

  430. CustomEyes

    When you think of the progress they've made! when I was a lad the start button filled a whole room.

  431. CustomEyes

    The resolution on the first GoPro was way ahead of it's time.

  432. CustomEyes

    First public showing of the USB-D connector

  433. Evoflash

    Don't be stupid dear, you'd never fit something like this in a pocket.

  434. Soul Toast

    What selfies were like in the old days....

  435. 2+2=5 Silver badge

    Life? Don't talk to me about life. Here I am, bulb the size of a planet and you ask me to project your simple PowerPoint onto the wall. Call that job satisfaction? Cause I don't.

  436. Adam Jarvis

    At TalkTalk's data processing centre, faint praise manages to keep ICO inspector from noticing the stolen/empty file storage, from one of its legacy database systems.

  437. Rol Silver badge

    The very first Minion was large and hard surfaced, but Gru saw the potential for mischief and thought a smaller and softer cohort would be much better. Sadly, mark II, named after its new features, Microsoft, was flawed to the core and highly irrational, yet much less of a threat to mankind than mark III, which was named after its baby noises, Gurgle, or as Gru pronounces it, Google.

  438. Barely registers

    "Lens Flare-o-vision camera test roll number one. Subject: Me - J.J. Abrams"

  439. Adam Jarvis

    No I'm not David Cameron and Jeremy Corbyn is not borrowing this tie, if thats the second question.

  440. Adam Jarvis

    You want me to partner with you on Strictly?, I'm just an expert in your Quickstep Automation software.

  441. Huns n Hoses

    It dawned on the Martians that Merve the Swerve might not really be Earth's leader.

  442. dodgyblue

    Newly discovered footage of the original Mike Teavee in front of what producers thought was the Wonka TV room projector. The Doctor arrived too late.

  443. Lazboy

    That was definitely the last time that Rodger would take product advice from the Gadget Show.

  444. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Has a winner been selected for this one?

    link, please :-)

  445. disgustedoftunbridgewells Silver badge

    I know I'm late with this one, but the article isn't out yet, so who cares?

    The teledidlionics device "Playmate 3000" may need some refinement

  446. msknight Silver badge

    I think that El Reg must have been toying a little to much with the Back To The Future watch before they sent it to the last winner - time at the competition desk now seems to be completely unreliable.

    Either that, or they've taken to increasing fairness in humour testing by taking the competition results out to the street on a clipboard and running them by random passers by. However, that suffers with two problems....

    1) That must be a bloody big clipboard.

    2) Londoners have such an aversion to people standing with a clipboard, looking expectantly worried at passers by, that they avoid such clipboard wielders at all costs; so El Reg probably give it a week, then give up and throw a D20 to run selections.

    Well, I can't think of any other explanation for the time difference between competitions and results... not that I bother entering them any more, but it's fun laughing at some of the winners!... and that gives you two possible reasons as to why I laugh at them... to find out which one, you'll have to borrow El Reg's dice.

    (just found out about the Disdyakis triacontahedron dice. With that beast, it would only take them 4 throws to find a winning joke. And knowing the game of chance, it will probably result in the post that asks where the results are...)

  447. Sp0ck

    And you say they'll be launching a selfy stick for it in the next week or so too? I'll take it!

  448. Barely registers

    From his underground Linux lair, Linus Torvalds explains whose way is the right way.

  449. x 7 Silver badge

    "So.....if I point you at the editors they'll forget there's a competition, forget to award the prize, and I can just pick it up and walk away?"

  450. Bill Fresher

    At last! My futurescope works! I can see LOHAN's flight... and the results of the caption competition.

    Now let's see what happened in the 30 years before that...

  451. 2+2=5 Silver badge

    In an alternate, SteamPunk universe, Chief Engineer Montgomery Scott prepared to re-align the dilithium crystals.

    or

    In an even more alternate, SteamPunk universe, Lt. Uhuru prepared to re-align the dilithium crystals.

  452. disgustedoftunbridgewells Silver badge

    This is what futurists thought modern technology would look like now, way back when this caption competition was posted on El Reg.

  453. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    At least this competition didn't cost me anything - last time el reg didn't finish what it started cost me a load of cash on kickstarter.

  454. plingwoo

    'Angry commentary demands free hard drive from El Reg autobot.'

  455. Rezillo

    I'l nudge this one up - the closing date was yonks ago so when will we know who has won, please?

  456. x 7 Silver badge

    bump

    who won ??????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????

  457. Adrian A. Baumann

    "No, Jony Ive said it doesn't matter if the iPhone 7 camera lens sticks out a bit. Let's go with this one."

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