Cue the onesies and for some bizarre reason presentations about efficiency that involve more than one person making said presentation...
Former head of the Government Digital Service Mike Bracken has assembled the ex GDS top brass to work on the Co-Op's digital team. Bracken joined the Co-op as chief digital office in August, following his shock departure from GDS. Former director of strategy Russell Davies, technical architecture director Tom Loosemore, …
I thought you were getting back on your feet after the trials and tribulations of the last couple of years, but no. After getting rid of 1 cowboy who cost you Billions, you decide to employ 5 others who will no doubt fritter what little money you have left away like water.
Some guidance for you.
1. "Digital" is Shoreditch bollocks for an iPad Banking app, and screwing up your main web site so its mostly massive chunks of white space plus giant text and UI elements that looks cack on anything other than a tablet, and especially dire on a computer screen.
2. Disruption and Innovation - the only disruption will be to the smooth running of your technology function and your banking business, the only innovation will be in them finding new ways to feck things up.
3. What ever salaries they are demanding - quarter it.
Despite their dubious political alliances, I've always had a soft spot for the Coop Group. I like the idea of a kind of meta-capitalism, in which ideologies as well as business practices can compete.
And then they do stuff like this, and one really has to wonder whether it's incompetence (the hiring panel are too thick to see through the Shoreditch buzztwattery) or malice (the GDS' former lords and masters arranged these cushy new numbers).
- Remove the "+" and "-" indicators from your online banking statements.
- Give me a proper 'Money in' and 'Money out' columns so that I can see clearly whats actually going on in my account.
- Give me a running balance column so that I can see which payments are pushing me closest to my overdraft limit.
- Give me a search function, so that I can find transactions in more that just the 'latest transactions' section, and without having to search pdfs of previous statements.
All these things are standard in your competitors internet banking interfaces. Oddly, you used to have all of these too apart from the last one, but for some stupid reason your last 'internet banking makeover' took them away (adding the single column with +/- indicator format). FAIL.
All these things are standard in your competitors internet banking interfaces.
The Coop bank was singled out earlier this year by HMT for their precarious core systems and inadequate recovery arrangements, and for this reason alone HMT wanted the whole lot sold to a larger, better organised player (which hasn't happened for a range of reasons). I'd suggest that hanging around whilst they sort out the web interface is a tad unwise, because if the web interface is where the effort goes, the dodgy back office has yet more time to fall over.
And the key concern was that if they had a Natwest style cockup, they simply would not be able to recover, full stop. It took a while for RBS/Natwest, but at least they got there eventually.
Is that the Cabinet Office troupe that came up with the idea of outsourcing handling core government data to another nation by using Google?
Well, if so, good luck Co-op. I hope you like style, because it sure as hell won't have substance. For co-op's sake, I hope I have this wrong.
Sorry, the name Bracken is so distracting - makes me think of my days as unemployed scum watching Doctors every lunchtime, and the wish-washy hippie doctor had a daughter called Bracken. just think of that episode where the daughter has gone missing, and the mum is wandering around shouting "Bracken!" :)
> Sorry, the name Bracken is so distracting
One of our first cats was called Bracken. So I demand immediately that he forfend from tarnishing that name and rename himself "the scam artist formerly known as the same name as one of COCM's cats".
She was very bright, good hunter and affectionate. Sadly, not as pretty as her brother.
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