back to article Bracken assembles old GDS crew for Co-op

Former head of the Government Digital Service Mike Bracken has assembled the ex GDS top brass to work on the Co-Op's digital team. Bracken joined the Co-op as chief digital office in August, following his shock departure from GDS. Former director of strategy Russell Davies, technical architecture director Tom Loosemore, …

  1. Vimes

    Cue the onesies and for some bizarre reason presentations about efficiency that involve more than one person making said presentation...

  2. Doctor Syntax Silver badge

    "won the Design of the Year Award"

    Style over substance.

  3. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Oh dear god

    Dear Co-op,

    I thought you were getting back on your feet after the trials and tribulations of the last couple of years, but no. After getting rid of 1 cowboy who cost you Billions, you decide to employ 5 others who will no doubt fritter what little money you have left away like water.

    Some guidance for you.

    1. "Digital" is Shoreditch bollocks for an iPad Banking app, and screwing up your main web site so its mostly massive chunks of white space plus giant text and UI elements that looks cack on anything other than a tablet, and especially dire on a computer screen.

    2. Disruption and Innovation - the only disruption will be to the smooth running of your technology function and your banking business, the only innovation will be in them finding new ways to feck things up.

    3. What ever salaries they are demanding - quarter it.

    Yours Sincerely

    Former customer.

    1. roytrubshaw

      Re: Oh dear god

      <AOL>Me too!</AOL>

    2. Doctor Syntax Silver badge

      Re: Oh dear god

      "3. What ever salaries they are demanding - quarter it."

      Even better, double it and demand that that's what they pay you.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Oh dear god

        "Ah, Mike do come in. The Remuneration Committee is pleased to offer you and team this nearly full book of Divi Stamps, redeemable at any Co-Op store."

    3. MyffyW Silver badge

      Re: Oh dear god

      Whenever I hear "digital" I reach for my revolver.

      Ditto for anybody using the word "workshop" when they aren't referring to light engineering.

  4. Bc1609

    Poor Coop

    Despite their dubious political alliances, I've always had a soft spot for the Coop Group. I like the idea of a kind of meta-capitalism, in which ideologies as well as business practices can compete.

    And then they do stuff like this, and one really has to wonder whether it's incompetence (the hiring panel are too thick to see through the Shoreditch buzztwattery) or malice (the GDS' former lords and masters arranged these cushy new numbers).

  5. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Dear Co-Op.

    Please, PLEASE:

    - Remove the "+" and "-" indicators from your online banking statements.

    - Give me a proper 'Money in' and 'Money out' columns so that I can see clearly whats actually going on in my account.

    - Give me a running balance column so that I can see which payments are pushing me closest to my overdraft limit.

    - Give me a search function, so that I can find transactions in more that just the 'latest transactions' section, and without having to search pdfs of previous statements.

    All these things are standard in your competitors internet banking interfaces. Oddly, you used to have all of these too apart from the last one, but for some stupid reason your last 'internet banking makeover' took them away (adding the single column with +/- indicator format). FAIL.

    1. Anonymous Coward

      You have +'s in your bank account?

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      All these things are standard in your competitors internet banking interfaces.

      The Coop bank was singled out earlier this year by HMT for their precarious core systems and inadequate recovery arrangements, and for this reason alone HMT wanted the whole lot sold to a larger, better organised player (which hasn't happened for a range of reasons). I'd suggest that hanging around whilst they sort out the web interface is a tad unwise, because if the web interface is where the effort goes, the dodgy back office has yet more time to fall over.

      And the key concern was that if they had a Natwest style cockup, they simply would not be able to recover, full stop. It took a while for RBS/Natwest, but at least they got there eventually.

  6. bigbob

    Stealing staff

    Did GDS not put in a clause in Bracken's contract to prevent him poaching all their best staff? Massive HR blunder...

    1. Steve K Silver badge

      Re: Stealing staff

      You are assuming they WERE the best staff though.....

  7. Anonymous Coward

    Fly high, fall far

    How far the mighty have fallen!

    Waitrose, Sainsburys, Tesco, Morrisons, Aldi, interest. Oh well, the Co-Op it is! Probably having to work up t'north too, happens. LOL.

  8. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Hang on, GDS?

    Is that the Cabinet Office troupe that came up with the idea of outsourcing handling core government data to another nation by using Google?

    Well, if so, good luck Co-op. I hope you like style, because it sure as hell won't have substance. For co-op's sake, I hope I have this wrong.

  9. Gannettt

    Sorry, the name Bracken is so distracting - makes me think of my days as unemployed scum watching Doctors every lunchtime, and the wish-washy hippie doctor had a daughter called Bracken. just think of that episode where the daughter has gone missing, and the mum is wandering around shouting "Bracken!" :)

    1. CrazyOldCatMan Silver badge

      > Sorry, the name Bracken is so distracting

      One of our first cats was called Bracken. So I demand immediately that he forfend from tarnishing that name and rename himself "the scam artist formerly known as the same name as one of COCM's cats".

      She was very bright, good hunter and affectionate. Sadly, not as pretty as her brother.

  10. cantankerous swineherd Silver badge

    the coop was pretty much doomed, the agile disruptive move fast and break things malarkey should administer the coup de grace.

    1. CrazyOldCatMan Silver badge

      > should administer the coup de grace

      ObPathfinderRef - Full round action. It's a surprise round so no full-round actions..

      And maybe time to remove what few savings accounts I have left at Co-Op to somewhere with a Clue(TM).

  11. Richard Morris

    CoOp Energy

    He might as well start there. They still haven't been able to generate me a bill since their less than successful move to a new system.

    It will however take more work than sticking lipstick on a pig.

  12. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Anonymous coward

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