back to article El Reg celebrates Back to the Future Day

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  1. Anonymous Custard Silver badge

    Marty's peril sensing glasses respond instantly to his old man's tie.

  2. Anonymous Custard Silver badge

    Marty still couldn't get the 'net connected kettle to work, so had to make do with water instead

  3. Anonymous Custard Silver badge

    Hurry up, I don't want to be late...!

  4. lawndart

    "... and finally the Japanese tsunami of 2011. Why aren't you writing this all down?"

  5. Anonymous Custard Silver badge

    Can I go back and get a proper breakfast?

  6. Anonymous Custard Silver badge

    Breakfast? Where we're going we don't need breakfast!

  7. Anonymous Custard Silver badge

    Bacon to the future

  8. picturethis

    "ZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz......................Did you say something Dad?"

  9. Peter Simpson 1
    Pint

    21st century and we still can't do anything without coffee...

  10. Graham Marsden

    You're telling me people pay over £3 for a cup of coffee in 2015...?

  11. Come to the Dark Side

    Marty's VR tour of the Soylent Green production facility made him feel rather queasy as he quaffed his goop

  12. Graham Marsden

    Damn those IoT hackers, that was supposed to be a cappuccino!

  13. seanj

    "Ok Google, find me the nearest Starbucks..."

  14. Nathan 13

    Dad, why do they call a small coffee "tall" ?

  15. Androgynous Cupboard Silver badge

    ... but what was about to surprise Marty most about 2015 was the modern replacement for the colostomy bag.

  16. Tom Servo

    2015 Mike J Fox says

    Hey, I managed to get 20% in the glass this time!

    sorry........

  17. alain williams Silver badge

    Marty says

    These fancy specs don't make your tie look any better.

  18. PoorLumpyPony

    That reference

    Stop changing the past, break the cycle Marty, Rise above. Focus on ties

    1. Tom Servo

      Re: That reference

      *burp*

  19. Erewhon

    "These Google Glasses are excellent - it's like I'm actually drinking their Kool-Aid"

  20. Known Hero

    Hololens !

    Can you just get your fist out of my Minecraft world !!!

  21. Fibbles
    Trollface

    "Does everyone in the future drink their coffee shaken?"

  22. AdamT

    "Why are you still wearing those Google Glass prototypes? They're not retro yet!"

  23. Anonymous Coward
    Unhappy

    Tired of the tat

    Could be a sign of gumpy old man syndrome, but I'm tired of all of the tat and hype generating "spontaneously" created memes, blogs and posts whenever a big media company wants to promote its wears.

    1. AceRimmer
      Paris Hilton

      Re: Tired of the tat

      I don't get it

    2. This post has been deleted by its author

    3. Drewc (Written by Reg staff) Gold badge
  24. synogy

    A steady hand was all that was needed.

  25. PleebSmash
    Big Brother

    nothing to celebrate

    No portable consumer fusion reactors, no flying cars, no hoverboards.

    No hope.

  26. thefridayshirt
    Angel

    Pour me a drink, I'm heading off to travel back to the point before I paid $1,500 for this Google Glass. And people told me "that's $1,500 you'll never get back"... little did they know!

  27. Nik Shaw

    With this new Oculus Rift you can really smell the coffee !

    1. Anonymous Custard Silver badge

      Thank god it's only your tie - last time I was seeing ears everywhere!

  28. oomwat

    Marty Luwak

    Marty: Why is your coffee green?

    Marty Sr: I made this coffee myself - first I ate the beans, then I used a sieve to retrieve them - that's why it has the greenish tint.

  29. TheProf

    A digital wristwatch? That's a pretty neat idea.

    1. monty75

      +1 for knowing where your towel is.

    2. Kane Silver badge
      Stop

      "A digital wristwatch? That's a pretty neat idea."

      Really? Cos' I'm increasingly of the opinion that we've all made a big mistake in coming down from the trees in the first place.

  30. Jon Robinson

    Kinetic watch charge

    Hold still son, this Pepsi Perfect is difficult to pour when you're charging up your watch.

  31. JayBizzle

    With these augmented reality glasses you can still have shit coffee at home but pretend you're still in that crappy Cafe 80's.

  32. Alex King

    Hey, dad, what's with all the retro 1980s shit in the kitchen?

  33. kbb

    "Marty marvels that it's 8am and his dad's iWatch still has 4% charge."

  34. Jon Robinson

    October 21st

    What do you mean, it's Back to The Future Day today?!

  35. kbb

    Sometimes, when you see your father going commando, you curse the latest Google Glasses update that added x-ray functionality.

  36. MrT

    "One cup of hot lava coming through"

    "Yeah, nice Scrubs meme dad, but that's the mob spawner - the lava pit is in the butter dish..."

  37. Sir Barry

    The Shoreditch Hipsters haven't caught on to the new two of everything look yet"

  38. JASR

    Stop looking at my nipple flaps! You'll miss the glass!

  39. Jon Robinson

    right, drink this before you go to college, don't forget to load the dishwasher, don't spend all day with those glasses on, and if you're back before 3pm remember that bloke from B&Q is coming round to measure up the kitchen - I finally got mom to agree to pay for new units. And clear up all your retro tat off the worktops before he gets here!

  40. mark 120

    Coffee in 2015

    The VR goggles couldn't do anything for the taste of the coffee, but at least they made the barista look attractive .

  41. JayBizzle

    "I'm not sure where Jennifer is mom, she should have been home hours ago and I am having a hard time keeping track of her these days...."

  42. Jon Robinson

    both say at the same time...

    you're not going out dressed like that are you?!

  43. Jon Robinson

    This is heavy

    I know it is dad! you keep saying - why not just buy it from Costa like everyone else does!

  44. Jason Bloomberg Silver badge
    Pint

    "I fill it half full of boiling water. You plunge your cock into it. As the water cools it creates a vacuum, engorges your organ, and the girls won't be able to resist you".

  45. Matt Siddall

    In this alternate TimeLine, Google Glass managed to look even worse, but somehow made the coffee smell better

  46. JayBizzle

    Hey son, whilst you're watching the atrocity channel, drink this atrocity that I made to go with the atrocity that I am wearing....

  47. monty75

    Yeah, I bought it by fax from Amazon.

  48. Jon Robinson

    Right - don't tell your mom, but Biff just called and he thinks he can get you an audition for Charlie Sheens replacement in Two and Half Men.

  49. Jon Robinson

    The same argument over and over again!

    For the last time I didn't call you a chicken!

    I said "I feel like chicken tonight" when you asked me what I wanted for dinner

  50. Patched Out

    Son, you can go wherever you want to with those VR goggles, but you still gotta drink this coffee made in our 1980's kitchen!

  51. fridaynightsmoke

    Griff Tannen wants to connect with me on LinkedIn?

  52. mark 120

    You won't believe this dad, but Teasmaid say that in 2015 coffee will pour itself!

  53. monty75

    Erm, you might want to wipe the browsing history on these glasses before you let mom use them.

  54. chivo243 Silver badge

    Just watched

    the first one last night, and we are ready to watch the second one this evening, popcorn for everybody!

  55. Jon Robinson

    old joke

    "he he, Hey son, what's ET short for?"

    Groan - "It's because he's got little legs dad!"

  56. tplace

    The many reasons why crowdsourcing should be banned!

  57. Grey& wet

    But Dad, Premier May has banned all forms of human engagement using non-trackable means. Put your igoggles back on.....

  58. MartinBZM

    Back ...

    You call this coffee ?

    Oh well... Back to the fu... ehrm... Forward to the past I mean.

  59. Jon Robinson

    halloween costume

    It's a good try son, but you don't look much like Geordi La Forge, and he's not actually that scary.

    still, 10 days to think of something better.

  60. Geoff May

    Is this the same stuff that Harry Styles drank?

  61. burnabao

    Marty Jr: "No coffee thanks, I'm going back to the fruit juice..."

  62. Tardious

    "Hold it still, I'm posting this on Instagram"

  63. stephenb

    1.21 pence?! 1.21 pence?! Great Scott!

    (Amazon UK tax submission form)

  64. MAF

    Why is the coffee purple Marty? Because we're going back to the Fuschia!!

  65. PatientOne

    Marty felt that Doc had let his amazing time machine go to his head when he insisted Marty now test these sonic glasses...

  66. Jon Robinson

    I've put the piano in the orchard, so we can play Bach to the fruit tree.

  67. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Yes you little turd,

    your goggles might make it LOOK like lemonade but enjoy a half pint of fresh man-water.

  68. monty75

    Apparently VW have been cheating on the Mr Fusion nuclear emission tests.

  69. Anonymous Custard Silver badge

    Just a quick coffee - I need to McFly...

  70. Anonymous Custard Silver badge

    Time McFly's like an arrow, everyone else gets a coffee

  71. Anonymous Custard Silver badge

    On double time...

  72. John Miles 1

    Now watch it flow back into the jug when I reverse the time direction control

  73. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    ...

    there is

    a tie

    in Hill Valley

    they call the 'risein sun...

  74. Heironymous Coward
    Pint

    time travel used wisely

    Now THIS I'm especially proud of. It's a 2026 green plum brandy, aged about 400 years. Took me ages to find where I had buried it, your X-Ray glasses would have come in handy...

  75. Sir Barry

    Doc "What are you watching McFly?"

    Marty "Um, no, Busted"

  76. Barely registers

    The p̶a̶s̶t̶ future is like a foreign country - they do things d̶i̶f̶f̶e̶r̶e̶n̶t̶l̶y̶ exactly the same there.

    h/t Douglas Adams

  77. Ugotta B. Kiddingme

    Here, have some iCoffee. Your iBacon is almost ready.

  78. Cardinal
    Pint

    Blind Drunk

    And so, Marty began the blind eye/nose taste test to determine if humans can distinguish between a fresh Chain Coffee and a leper's urine sample - both providing the same level of temperature and lip froth.

  79. Cardinal

    No Dad, - I said I liked sports grounds!

  80. Zork-1

    VR Time

    Oculus Rift SDK X found a new supporter - SeeThruTech's AR/VR program that removes (all) the clothes of the person you are aiming at ... and can change their sex too.

  81. User McUser

    Doc was right, this *is* great Scotch.

  82. Marcus Fil

    "Try it - its called Paradox Tea - its made with Polonium"

  83. Marcus Fil

    "And when you have finished all of 'Breaking Bad' there is 'Orange is the New Black' - you're going to need more coffee!"

  84. Quotes

    Blinded by Science

    Marty watches as the drinking water at Hinkley self-heats his morning coffee

  85. Cardinal

    For God's sake Marty, stop that snivelling!

    They told you! - It's only for five years, and then that squint of yours should be completely fixed.

  86. Quotes

    The Future's So Bright, I Gotta Wear Shades

  87. AceRimmer

    Ewww

    Is that a telescope in your pocket or are you watching pornhub at the breakfast table again?

  88. Toltec

    This augmented reality is freaky man, seeing dad as a hot babe is bad enough, I don't wanna say what I am holding.

  89. Andy 73

    You think this is weird? The Ghostbusters are all women!

  90. Frumious Bandersnatch Silver badge

    Sorry for the colour. The toaster got infected last week and I think it spread to the coffee maker.

  91. Frumious Bandersnatch Silver badge

    Oh no, us Time Wombles hate to see old stuff thrown out. Take these "cups" for example. Found them in a milking parlour.

  92. Rich 2

    Stuff

    i call this one the "Pepsi Challenge". All you have to do is correctly guess which sugar-laden drink will rot your teeth, make you fat, and promote diabetes and osteoporosis the fastest.

  93. Frumious Bandersnatch Silver badge

    Do you like bisgetti?

  94. Jon Robinson

    Marty! you can take the glasses off now - the lunar eclipse was last month already!

  95. Frumious Bandersnatch Silver badge

    So it's your birthday, eh? I'd sing you our special birthday song only now that we've lost the copyright on it, it's hardly "special" any more.

  96. Stepheng74

    Liquid cooled PC's are a lot easier to build in the future

  97. Stepheng74

    Lets just branch the Java to a 3rd party interface

  98. shoeshopboy

    Hey son, do I look stupid wearing this?

  99. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Some wake up juice will get him off that bloody vr.

  100. Huw Barnes

    "...and so that concludes our Flux Capacitor Watch - will it blend test."

  101. Stepheng74

    Look, just give me something without any sugar in it, okay.

  102. swschrad

    I'm drinking ther piss out of this coffee today!

    brown in the pot, yellow in the glass, you see

  103. Frumious Bandersnatch Silver badge

    An awkward silence filled the air, but both men knew better than to fill it with observations about fashion sense. Not after what happened the last time.

  104. Jim O'Reilly
    Holmes

    Try this new Nescafe Pure - Everything is removed except the caffeine!

  105. DubiousMind
    Go

    The Cuckoo's Future Return

    After all that time cooped up in the Cuckoo's Nest, Taber believed himself to be called Doc and his friend McMurphy, Marty. It was a strange future going on in his head; a future from which many believe he could never return!

  106. Frumious Bandersnatch Silver badge

    "This Doc Brown"is a real two-tie fruity", thought Marty. "Wop bop a loo bop a lop bom boom!"

  107. Frumious Bandersnatch Silver badge

    It was immediately obvious to Doc Brown that this visitor was no alien due to the keen interest he was taking in his digital watches.

  108. Frumious Bandersnatch Silver badge

    Think, goddam you, Marty, think. You must remember what the winning caption contest entry was. Otherwise how are we gonna get that flux capacitor (watch)?

  109. Frumious Bandersnatch Silver badge

    Spengler: Don't cross the streams, Marty.

    Marty: You mean like th-- KRRRZTHP!

    Doc: Beetlejuice?

  110. Doctor Evil

    Nice tie, Dad!

  111. Frumious Bandersnatch Silver badge

    <product-placement>If you're not drinking Folgers coffee, you're probably drinking yak piss</product-placement>

  112. Doctor Evil

    Have another coffee, son. Listen, there's something I want to talk to you about: first impressions. Has anyone ever discussed dressing for success with you?

  113. Frumious Bandersnatch Silver badge

    Reg Readers: amazingly primitive people who think that a digital watch as a prize is a pretty neat idea.

    1. Jon Robinson

      some of us have even watched all three films and can distinguish which character is which!

  114. Frumious Bandersnatch Silver badge

    Yes, it's a special blend I put together from Ethiopian coffee beans and willow bark. It's highly salicey, aye.

  115. Jon Robinson

    'Moonshine'?!

    Marty was getting less and less certain about agreeing to blind taste test his dad's 'moonshine'

  116. EddieD

    As his glass filled, Marty sadly realised that google glass was no substitute for beer goggles.

  117. DropBear Silver badge

    "...but never mind that. Listen, could you get me a few proper 100W lightbulbs...?"

  118. David 132 Silver badge
    Coat

    "Marty tries out the Doc's Virtual Really Tea goggles"

    Per subject!

  119. Frumious Bandersnatch Silver badge

    "Doc, I'm putting the band back together"

    "What, 'Enchantment under the sea?'. Good for you"

  120. Tony Addyman

    This special 2015 drinking water comes from a project funded by Bill Gates. Guess how they produced it

  121. ma1010 Silver badge
    WTF?

    Okay, if it's "Back to the Future" day-

    Then just WHERE THE FUCK is my flying car???

    Or my Mr. Fusion??

    Or my hoverboard?

    And why can't the Weather Service control the weather properly?

    Sometimes the future just ain't what it's cracked up to be, I guess.

  122. branico

    "OK, Google. Search for the 'Curb Your Enthusiasm' Larry vs. me episode."

  123. xpatch

    This jacket blows

    and so do the pants!

  124. Captain DaFt

    Try this, it's an interesting beverage.

    It's almost, but not quite, entirely unlike tea!

  125. Oengus Silver badge
    Pint

    Hey, I just got this new InstaBrew from Mr Fusion. It allows you to make any drink from garbage instantly.

    Try this home made beer i just made.

  126. NeonTeepee

    No No Its not soylent its a lovely hot coffee with 2 sugars, yum yum.

  127. Winkypop Silver badge

    So, tell me again about these talking apples...

  128. Evoflash

    If I just cross my eyes a bit, your tie becomes fully 3D!

  129. Billy Whiz

    Where's my.....

    Monkey Butler!!

  130. Marcus Fil

    "Doc must be going a bit deaf - I said I wanted to view the forest in three years time"

  131. S.M

    Drink my boiled piss you Gen-Y fuckwit.

  132. Snow Hill Island

    "No dad, I didn't mean you, I'm playing Grand Theft Auto today."

  133. Steve Kennedy

    maybe NSFW

    Doc Brown's makeshift Parkinson's head band was maybe slightly intrusive

  134. SamJ

    Forget VR - this stuff is real!

  135. Bob Merkin
    FAIL

    "Son, I don't care if you post behind a pseudonym. Making fun of Parkinson's Disease still makes you an asshole."

  136. S.M

    I've superglued my knuckles to the table so I don't have to watch another rerun of The Man From Space when your grandpa arrives.

  137. S.M

    President Trump looks a lot like Biff Tannen don't you think junior?

  138. Darakna

    This is the reason why we can't have beautiful things....oh actually this is one of the reasons we have beautiful things in our life.

  139. Clouseau999

    The downside of X-ray goggles

    Hey Dad, I know you have two watches and two ties, but that enhancement surgery you had last month isn't working out....

  140. Redda

    Additction to the new virtual reality coffee shops is leading to a lattee time keeping problems.

  141. Scotslass

    Hurry up I haven't got all day, I need to get back for a Pepsi

  142. bigsteve59

    Why, Mr Assange, these rose-tinted glasses really do work. The only leak around here is from that coffee pot!

  143. msknight Silver badge

    I know I'm way too late...

    ... "The coffee has to be this weak by law. In my day it was so strong that we ended up growing two ties."

    I think I'll start a fad of posting after closing, 'cause my humour is out of whack with the judges anyway!

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