back to article Man goes to collect stolen-car court docs found in stolen car in stolen car

A teenager on probation for car theft has been arrested after court documents relating to that car theft were found alongside identifiable personal items in a second stolen car. These items were subsequently collected from the police station by the suspect, who arrived in a third stolen vehicle. Carnell Eugene Butler, 18, "now …

  1. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    will go far in this world...

    What a thickie.

    1. g e

      OTOH

      We do have a candidate name for galactically stupid criminals, a 'crime-related' version of the Darwin Awards...

      The Carnell Eugene Butler Award

      It even abbreviates to the moderately memorable 'CEBA'

    2. JeffyPoooh Silver badge
      Pint

      "a Nissan Infiniti"

      "Infiniti" is supposed to be a high-end 'Mark' / 'Badge' brand identity, and Datsun Nissan would prefer that it not be prefaced with their low-rent econobox corporate identity.

      You wouldn't write "...a Toyota Lexus...". Same thing.

      1. Kernel

        Re: "a Nissan Infiniti"

        ""Infiniti" is supposed to be a high-end 'Mark' / 'Badge' brand identity, and Datsun Nissan would prefer that it not be prefaced with their low-rent econobox corporate identity."

        If you're going to get all technical with this sort of thing, the word you're looking for is 'Marque', not 'Mark'.

      2. jzl

        Re: "a Nissan Infiniti"

        We don't have the "Infiniti" brand in the UK so it's an easy mistake to make if the writer's British.

        [Edit] Turns out we do have that brand here although I don't know if I've ever seen one on the streets. In my defence, I'm pretty out of touch on the whole car thing.

        1. captain veg

          Re: "a Nissan Infiniti"

          See also Proton Lotus, Volkswagen Bentley, Fiat Ferrari.

          -A.

      3. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: "a Nissan Infiniti"

        > You wouldn't write "...a Toyota Lexus...". Same thing.

        No perhaps not, but I would write Skoda Bugatti, or even Skoda Audi, it winds up the owners a treat.

        1. 6th
          Go

          Re: "a Nissan Infiniti"

          I know my Skoda rocks. I love it *almost* as much as my rice.

          I hadn't considered to be the likes of Audi and Bugatti... until now!

          Nice it is finally getting the respect it deserves :-)

      4. Paul Hovnanian Silver badge
        Facepalm

        Re: "a Nissan Infiniti"

        So then a Volkswagen Bugatti is right out?

    3. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: will go far in this world...

      No surprises here:

      http://wfla.com/2015/10/08/st-pete-pd-car-thief-left-paperwork-in-stolen-car-drove-2nd-stolen-car-to-police-station/

    4. rtb61

      Re: will go far in this world...

      More accurately shameless indifferent to the crimes they commit, a complete lack of conscience. Rather than crazy stuff like three strikes laws, there should be testing for psychopathy laws and those individuals who genetically lack a conscience through social cerebral defect should be treated differently. the likelihood of them repeatedly committing crimes instead of being a probability is much closer to being a certainty and this should be reflected in their bail conditions and post prosecution rehabilitation, should they fail to rehabilitate it should mean either no release or very tight monitoring.

      1. albaleo

        Re: will go far in this world...

        @rtb61

        It might just be cheaper to give him his own car.

      2. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: will go far in this world...

        Nonsense...

        Kid's probably totally harmless, simple exposure to mainstream media rags his parents carelessly left laying about the house in conjunction with playing GTA games at too young of an age has left him thinking that stealing cars is a sporting activity.

        He doesn't realize only bank robbery is actually sporting.

        If adults weren't continually making this world a totally retarded nightmare to live in, kids wouldn't act nearly as stupid as they do.

      3. Robert Grant

        Re: will go far in this world...

        there should be testing for psychopathy laws and those individuals who genetically lack a conscience through social cerebral defect should be treated differently

        I entirely agree!

        Yours

        Hugh Genics

        P.s. those chaps with the skulls on their hats gave us a bad name - glad we're finally back!

  2. Mark 85 Silver badge
    Facepalm

    What a maroon....

    <see title>

    1. Jack of Shadows Silver badge

      Re: What a maroon....

      On the bright side, he's doing wonders for that department's statistics.

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: What a maroon....

      what a colour?

      1. John Brown (no body) Silver badge

        Re: What a maroon....

        No, a distress flare.

        Well, I expect he's now distressed and maybe he likes 80's fashion?

      2. Mark 85 Silver badge

        Re: What a maroon....

        Nah.... see definition #2. Obviously you missed out as a child.

        http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=maroon

    3. asdf Silver badge

      Re: What a maroon....

      Oxycontin is a hellva drug.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: What a maroon....

        Yes, it clearly fucks up your ability to construct a cogent sentence.

  3. Steve Davies 3 Silver badge
    Facepalm

    Doh!

    There are plenty of words that could be used to describe him but I think the most apt is 'Doh!'

    Does Floriday have a three strikes law? If so that could be the end of his criminal career...

    1. MrT

      Re: Doh!

      If they haven't got one already, that could be the first article in a new 'WTFLA' spin-off collection of all the double-facepalm stories.

  4. moiety

    Yo dawg.

  5. chivo243 Silver badge

    Obligatory Quote

    “Stupid is as stupid does.” – Forrest Gump

  6. Michael H.F. Wilkinson Silver badge
    Facepalm

    Clearly from the shallow end of the gene pool

    Doh! indeed

    1. dorsetknob
      Black Helicopters

      Re: Clearly from the shallow end of the gene pool

      Clearly from the shallow end of the gene pool

      Doh! indeed

      Perfect Material for either the Senate of Congress

      He has just proved he has the credentials to be a Candidate ( stuip untrustworthy crooked )

      He will Feel at home on Capital Hill

      Black copters because if you Critise the man that's what he sends

  7. jake Silver badge

    I believe the expression is:

    "Dumbass".

    Correct me if I'm wrong.

    1. sabroni Silver badge
      Happy

      Re: Correct me if I'm wrong.

      Has that ever happened?

      1. jake Silver badge
        Pint

        @sabroni (was: Re: Correct me if I'm wrong.)

        Yes, actually, it has :-)

        Search on "jake +culpa" here on ElReg ... When I'm wrong, I admit it.

        1. Aqua Marina Silver badge
          Coffee/keyboard

          Re: @sabroni (was: Correct me if I'm wrong.)

          Hmmm, that just brings me back to this comment.

  8. Remy Redert

    Too dumb to live, would be very appropriate here wouldn't it?

  9. kmac499

    Oxymoron List

    Military Intelligence

    Criminal Mastermind

    suggestions ........

    1. Sir Runcible Spoon Silver badge
      Coat

      Re: Oxymoron List

      Legal Mass-Surveillance?

    2. banalyzer

      Re: Oxymoron List

      You most definitely forgot

      Honest Politician

    3. Richard 120

      Re: Oxymoron List

      Project Manager

      1. Guus Leeuw

        Re: Oxymoron List

        Here, have a downvote for that one... ;)

        There's no apparent contradiction in the terms "Project" and "Manager", unless the "Manager" is a "Project"...

        I know, because I am earning my livelyhood as a Project Manager at the moment.

        Guus

    4. Little Mouse

      Re: Oxymoron List

      Greater Manchester?

    5. TeeCee Gold badge
      Coat

      Re: Oxymoron List

      Socialist Workers.

    6. GrumpenKraut Silver badge

      Re: Oxymoron List

      Microsoft Works.

    7. Chris Hunt

      Re: Oxymoron List

      Sports Personality of the Year

    8. KA1AXY

      Re: Oxymoron List

      Peoples' Democratic Republic

      1. J. R. Hartley Silver badge

        Re: Oxymoron List

        Democratic Unionist Party

        1. Martin Budden

          Re: Oxymoron List

          Fun Run

          1. Colin Ritchie
            Windows

            Re: Oxymoron List

            Caring Conservatism.

  10. Chika
    FAIL

    OK Sonny, yer nicked!

    "But Officer, I was late for my court date!"

  11. Your alien overlord - fear me

    Only in 'Murica

    1. Doctor Syntax Silver badge

      "Only in 'Murica"

      No. Not very bright crims are everywhere. I remember one case where a lad threw away his jacket when he ran away. And he was bright enough to have a library card. It was in the jacket pocket & had his name and address on it.

      1. TeeCee Gold badge
        Facepalm

        Too true. A mate, who hails from Merseyside, once regaled me with the tale of a local plod who'd won several awards for crime clearup.

        His revolutionary crimebusting technique was to do a tour of the local supermarkets and run a PNC check on every vehicle parked in a disabled bay without the relevant badge. Apparently this netted him a good supply of nicked or uninsured vehicles, owners with outstanding warrants, stuff like that.

        A point commonly trotted out on the "reality TV" cop shows is that the job would be a damned sight more difficult, were it not for the convenient fact that criminals tend to be so stupid that they effectively catch themselves.

      2. Roger Kynaston

        Re Only in Murica and in blighty

        Many years ago i worked in an Off licence. One Sunday a bottle of our best burgundy (£31 in early nineties) went walkies. We checked the CCTV and identified a probable punter. I had two staff who had lived in the town all their life. Both of them said "oh yes. That is blah." Plod went round to his house and the empty bottle was on the draining board.

        He was duly pinched, hauled up before the beak and pleaded guilty. He had to pay it back at £2 a week.

      3. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        I remember reading about a mugger in Brazil, running away from police into a dark forest, at night. They caught him. He was wearing trainers with flashing lights in them. They were all the rage for a while, as I recall..

    2. jake Silver badge

      Apparently alien overlords don't grok Subject lines.

      Whatever, onwards ...

      I seem to remember a very similar case in Manchester when I was getting my A-levels in the 1970s. Stupidity is common across the entire human population. I'm certain Sam Clemens had something pithy to say about that, but I can't be arsed to look it up.

    3. timmythegeek
      FAIL

      "Only in 'Murica"

      "Only in 'Murica"

      well maybe only in Florida.....that state is a little overgrown

    4. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      This is why FARK has a "Florida" tag. It's the only state so blessed.

      1. phuzz Silver badge
        Joke

        All Florida stories should be accompanied by this gif:

        http://www.reactiongifs.us/wp-content/uploads/2013/07/cut_off_florida.gif

    5. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Only in 'Murica

      Canada too

      In the '90s the house I lived in was broken into, my sister was home from school sick and heard the noise the kid ran and left his schoolbal that had his name and phone number behind

    6. Colin Miller

      He's got a rival in this dim-witted chap who turned up to court, on a charge of supplying cocaine, where he was found innocent. However, he had cocaine in his personal effects at the time, and was up before the beak again, where he plead guilty. http://www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2015/oct/16/man-jailed-after-turning-up-in-court-dock-with-large-amount-of-cocaine

      v

  12. Primus Secundus Tertius Silver badge

    Coloured intuition

    Is Mr Butler non-white?

    Was the policemen's intuition guided by that?

    However, that would not excuse his crimes.

    1. DavCrav Silver badge

      Re: Coloured intuition

      "Is Mr Butler non-white?

      Was the policemen's intuition guided by that?"

      No, his intuition was guided by the fact that he had proof that the guy stole two cars, and found a set of car keys on him when they arrested him. He knew where he lived, and if that's far enough away it's likely that he drove to the station with the car matching the keys, so just walk around pressing the remote locking button and see what happens.

    2. TeeCee Gold badge
      Facepalm

      Re: Coloured intuition

      You mean:

      <Ali G>

      "Is it because I's black?".

      </Ali G>

    3. This post has been deleted by a moderator

      1. This post has been deleted by its author

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: Coloured intuition

          According to the article, it was a teen busted. According to your link, he was born in 77. One of them is wrong.

          Or just maybe the cop shop gave out the wrong information... again

          1. Florida1920 Silver badge

            Re: Coloured intuition

            According to the article, it was a teen busted. According to your link, he was born in 77. One of them is wrong.
            That could be his father. Good role model.

            1. Anonymous Coward
              Anonymous Coward

              Re: Coloured intuition

              " According to your link, he was born in 77"

              Yep, sorry about that. Thought I'd withdrawn it previously.

              On an aside, whilst looking for the arrest record, it became apparent that his is a relatively common name in a relatively small geographical area. And the police appear to be familiar with it.

              How odd.

      2. Liz 1
        Facepalm

        Re: Coloured intuition

        ""teenager" and "juveline" are murican code-words for black people "

        So how would they refer to a white youth aged between 13 and 19?

        1. Jediben

          Re: Coloured intuition

          Usually as "the victim" or "the gunman", depending on whether it's a school day or not.

        2. This post has been deleted by a moderator

    4. phuzz Silver badge
      Trollface

      Re: Coloured intuition

      Does this mean US police managed to arrest a black man, without shooing him?

      Way to bury the lede there elReg.

    5. Turtle

      @Primus Secundus Tertius Re: Coloured intuition

      "Is Mr Butler non-white? Was the policemen's intuition guided by that?"

      Want to see a racist? Look in a mirror.

  13. adam payne Silver badge

    Maybe he wanted to get caught, cry for help?

    1. fruitoftheloon
      Happy

      @Adam Payne:

      Adam,

      Or perhaps he is basically incredibly f'ing stupid?

      Cheers,

      Jay

  14. Eddy Ito Silver badge

    week old sashimi

    Sorry, something smells a bit off. Why did he have the keys to a car? Was the owner equally stupid and left the keys with the car or were the keys part of the loot from robbing the house?

    1. Vinyl-Junkie
      FAIL

      Re: week old sashimi

      I suspect the former; apparently the habit of leaving keys on the sun visor has actually increased in recent years. Drivers carry the alarm/locking keyfob but leave the keys in the vehicle. It is this habit which has led the automotive industry to develop folding keys and keyless ignition systems, all becasue 'merkins don't like to spoil the cut of their trousers with unsightly keys...

    2. DavCrav Silver badge

      Re: week old sashimi - Answers in the article

      "Sorry, something smells a bit off. Why did he have the keys to a car? Was the owner equally stupid and left the keys with the car or were the keys part of the loot from robbing the house?"

      I think it's clear that he nicked them from the house.

      "additional two counts of burglary of an occupied dwelling."

  15. Chris Hunt

    Florida Man

    Plenty more like this, just take a look at @_FloridaMan

  16. John Brown (no body) Silver badge
    Childcatcher

    He should get a life sentence...

    ...for his own protection. He's too stupid to be allowed out on his own!

  17. This post has been deleted by its author

  18. sisk Silver badge

    Just goes to show crime isn't an occupation for the intelligent.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Devil

      No, the intelligent just don't tend to get caught as much, or go in to "professions" like Banking or some Police Forces were to be criminal is a promotion point

      1. fruitoftheloon
        Happy

        @Lostyearsago

        Lya,

        Or politics...!

        Regards,

        Jay

  19. Stevie Silver badge

    Bah!

    Points for style!

  20. Turtle

    Needs A New Name.

    From now on: "Stolencarnell Eugene Butler".

  21. Donald Becker

    I don't see that he was especially stupid.

    He did park a block away.

    That's far enough that no one in the police station would observe him arriving, and he could spot someone following when he left.

  22. Glenn Amspaugh

    Home Town Hero

    Oh man, I lived in St. Pete for 10 years, doing both mobile computer repair (mostly businesses and schools) as well as IT at a small private party college. To help understand the west central Florida population: the entire area was settled by folks from other parts of the US, who screwed up and needed to start over. What a strange, jacked up town. So glad to be gone.

  23. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    I did that in GTA.

    I stole a car, to go to the police impound lot, to recover another car that I had stolen. Paid just the impound fee.

    This kid thinks it is GTA.

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