back to article Assange™ offered 'plans for escape by flying fox to Harrods'

Couch-surfer extraordinaire Julian Assange has granted an interview to Australian breakfast radio program “Kyle and Jackie O” in which he characterises his stint in the Ecuadorian embassy as a “siege” and reveals he has banned smartphones at the Ecuadorian embassy as he assumes they are all surveilled. The interview, which …

  1. Anonymous Coward
    Unhappy

    "The interview otherwise stays in Assange's usual territory: everyone's out to get him, for unjust reasons, UK politicians are in thrall to the USA and WikiLeaks is good for the world."

    Somewhat over-egged perhaps but sounds about right. Sadly.

    1. ratfox Silver badge
      Trollface

      Apart from "everyone's out to get him". He seems to need to give interviews from time to time just so that the world doesn't forget about him.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        And you wonder why Britain doesn't just revoke Ecuador's diplomatic status like they threatened to three years ago. It's not like the UK has anything special going on in Ecuador, are they (meaning even if Ecuador retaliates, the diplomats just go home and probably show a finger on the way out)?

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          "And you wonder why Britain doesn't just revoke Ecuador's diplomatic status"

          You have no idea what you are talking about do you?

          There NOTHING stopping them going in and arresting him right now....oh except you do that and you lose the moral high ground and effectively have told every other nation in the world they can do the same to us.

          Diplomatic protection is little more than a gentleman's agreement only held together by the nuclear option of no one being the first to press the red button.

          1. Anonymous Coward
            Anonymous Coward

            Perhaps, but after three years of nose-snubbing, you'd think England would start to think, "Enough is enough" and very succinctly ask if any other nation would be this patient over someone who's obviously flaunting your laws to escape your justice? By challenging other nations to ask "What would YOU do?" England can maintain the high ground by making the other nations "walk a mile in their shoes," so to speak.

            PS. Is sound considered a weapon? If not, why hasn't England tried the Noriega Attack yet?

            1. Anonymous Coward
              Anonymous Coward

              @AC ^

              Perhaps the widespread Americanisation dismay and incessant grumbling (something of a national pastime) has mislead you. The UK is still NO WHERE NEAR as uncivilised as your country.

            2. werdsmith Silver badge

              ask if any other nation would be this patient over someone who's obviously flaunting your laws to escape your justice?

              Swedish laws and Swedish justice surely?

              1. Alister Silver badge

                Swedish laws and Swedish justice surely?

                No, Britain's continued interest is due to Assange jumping bail and fleeing British justice. And there's no shadow of a doubt about his guilt on those charges either. The Swedes can have him when he's served his time for those offences.

            3. g00se
              Headmaster

              someone who's obviously flaunting your laws to escape your justice?

              That would tend to reinforce them. I think you mean flouting

        2. Trigonoceps occipitalis

          The premises of the mission shall be inviolable. The agents of the receiving State may not enter them, except with the consent of the head of the mission.

          Source: Article 22, Vienna Convention on Diplomatic Relations

          Hungarian Cardinal Jozsef Mindszenty spent 15 years in the US embassy in Budapest from 1956-1971.

          Julian can stay where he is until he or Ecuador get fed up.

  2. PCS

    Damn, he's still alive.

    1. auburnman
      Happy

      On the plus side, 3 and a quarter years of self imprisonment and counting. Plus he's reduced to only getting attention from a breakfast radio show, not exactly first headline on News at Ten.

      On the subject of bottom-of-the-pile news hacks, has El Reg tried to get an interview with him? [/Trollface]

      1. Doctor Syntax Silver badge

        "3 and a quarter years of self imprisonment"

        When he finally comes out & gets nabbed will he try to get it counted against sentence like time on remand?

        1. auburnman

          No court in the land would allow time on the lam to count as time served, regardless of the restrictive conditions. If anything they'll go heavier on him the longer he tries to evade justice.

  3. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    He's gone up in my estimation after that, who knew clicking links in emails could be dangerous? I'm looking forward now to not having to pay bitcoins to remove nasties from my computer every few days.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      who knew clicking links in emails could be dangerous?

      The sort of people that probably make up 99% of the audience for a show like Kyle and Jackie O's...and probably Kyle and Jackie O too.

  4. Grease Monkey

    I'd be interested to see if he really does have the power to ban smartphones in the embassy. Is he really claiming that visitors to the embassy are searched at their phones confiscated?

    If so the next logical question would seem to be, how much is he paying top have such control over the embassy? To which a sensible follow up would be, it's it even legal for the embassy to accept such payments, should they exist?

    1. Dan 55 Silver badge
      Headmaster

      He didn't say he banned them from the embassy, he said they are banned from the embassy. However from time-to-time the robo-journalists at El Reg can't parse quotes and end up writing something completely different in the article text.

  5. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    INFAMY! INFAMY!...yet another night infamy...

  6. Pascal Monett Silver badge

    "he has banned smartphones"

    Funny, I would have thought the Ambassador would have something to say about that.

    Obviously the prick has decided that anywhere he is, he commands. I wonder what mental condition he should be filed under.

    1. dotdavid

      Re: "he has banned smartphones"

      I suspect smartphones are banned in a lot of embassies anyway. Cameras and sensitive documents are not a comfortable combination for governments, as Assange well knows.

      1. chivo243 Silver badge

        Re: "he has banned smartphones"

        Right you are...

        I couldn't take ANY electronic (including my nokia C1, it's not very smart) devices inside the American Consulate in Amsterdam, so I am imagining that other 'sensitive' buildings would do the same in this post 9/11 world we live in...

  7. dotdavid

    "He added that kids regularly write to him at the embassy, offering “well-drawn, detailed escape plans of me on a flying fox over to Harrods.”"

    They're not written by kids, they're written by the CIA in the hope that he'll try to use one.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      A distinction without a difference

    2. Annihilator
      Joke

      I don't know - this sounds like a cunning plan. Harrods is an absolute warren, no-one would be able to find him in there!

      On the other hand, he'd never find his way out either.

      1. TitterYeNot

        "I don't know - this sounds like a cunning plan. Harrods is an absolute warren, no-one would be able to find him in there!

        On the other hand, he'd never find his way out either."

        I don't know about that, some unfortunate could be in for a very unpleasant surprise when they open their Harrods Christmas Hamper to get the Goose Foie Gras and Beluga Caviar...

      2. Jimmy2Cows
        Thumb Up

        On the other hand, he'd never find his way out either.

        A plan with no drawbacks.

        1. werdsmith Silver badge

          Re: On the other hand, he'd never find his way out either.

          Between Fortnums and Harrods Food Halls a man could live forever on the free samples in the basements of both.

    3. auburnman
      Trollface

      If he'd touched a letter from the CIA we'd have him by now - it'd be so laced with LSD he'd have jumped out the window screaming about the lizardmen in his teeth.

      Unless he's already that crazy and has had plenty of practice keeping it under control.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Wouldn't be surprised if the LSD straightened him out a bit. Temporarily.

      2. Mark 85 Silver badge
        Devil

        On the other hand, I'm a bit surprised that no one has sent him a birthday cake laced with something the might require a trip to a hospital for a "check up". Nothing dangerous, just something to make him sick enough (physically) to seek help. Unless he has embassy credentials the cops could nab him, and end this game.

  8. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Ummm

    You do know they can hack feature phones as well?

    Somehow I doubt GCHQ is wasting many resources on Assange and I'm sure the police would be delighted if he sneaked off in the night or preferably croaked through natural causes.

  9. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Biggest bounty on the iPhone hack does not mean they are most secure

    just that more of their targets use them.

    But I expect the spooks to just use the Patriot act to make Apple push spyware to them. (Probably less instant than they would like.)

  10. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Apple Security

    "Pressed on which smartphones are the most secure, he said the fact that underground exploit markets are currently offering US$1 million for a working iPhone exploit, rather more than is on offer for rival platforms, shows Apple is going better at security than Android or BlackBerry."

    The higher premiums paid for Apple exploits might be to do with the fact that Apple users are better off (you'd have to be to pay for an iPhone) and thus are worth more to the ne'er-do-wells targeting them.

    1. Jimmy2Cows

      Re: Apple Security

      Kinda agree with this.

      Maybe not so much about relative security, more that the perps see Apple users as likely higher value targets. Which shows how dumb said perps really are, given Apple's 13.9% market share in Q2 2015

      http://www.idc.com/prodserv/smartphone-market-share.jsp

      If the rest of the market is so insecure compared to Apple, surely it's worth targeting the 86.1% of the market that ain't Apple...? Low hanging fruit an' all that.

      1. werdsmith Silver badge

        Re: Apple Cheap

        Jeez how many times?

        Most iPhones in use in UK are not the latest 6s. They are £150 on Ebay for phones 2 years back.

        A good 5, or a locked 5S can be had for peanuts.

        Just like most cars on UK roads are not 65 reg.

  11. Alister Silver badge

    Assange Who?

    Oh yes, that paranoid idiot who jumped bail, left all his mates out of pocket, and is hiding in a foreign embassy.

    I bet even the Merkins have nearly forgotten him by now, he's an irrelevance.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Course. Like how within a few years they'd forgotten about the USSR wanting to put missiles in Cuba in response to their putting them in Turkey...

      1. Alister Silver badge

        Like how within a few years they'd forgotten about the USSR wanting to put missiles in Cuba in response to their putting them in Turkey...

        You're really asking me to compare anything that Assange has done with the Cuban missile crisis?

        Blimey.

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          "You're really asking me to compare anything that Assange has done with the Cuban missile crisis?"

          Not at all. I'm comparing the US government's actions with things the US government has done. I'm pointing out that the absurd suggestion that the US government doesn't harbour grudges is absurd. Giving the following example:

          In 1961 the US government planted ballistic missiles in Italy and Turkey aimed at Russia (of course). The Russians responded by attempting to send similar munitions to Cuba. The US got all uppity and indignant at that and very, very nearly started an intercontinental nuclear war. Fortunately the Russian leadership was able to diffuse the situation. The US government brought its people home too and all was well settled in to lay siege to Cuba for HALF A FUCKING CENTURY so far.

          The US government has NOT "forgotten about AssangeTM" - the US government is a demented psychopath which harbours mindless grudges for decades.

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      You can't open up the comments without being flooded by trolls

      Yes yes, that's why we all know who and are here talking about him......

      The man must be paranoid thinking they are out to get him....

      Do they pay you well to post ?

  12. mhenriday
    Thumb Down

    Just the sort of objective «reporting»

    that we have come to expect of the Reg© in general and Simon Sharwood™ in particular, when it comes to persons and phenomena which they, for reasons of their own, dislike. Sort of like Lewis Page™ writing on climatology....

    Henri

    1. Dan Wilkie

      Re: Just the sort of objective «reporting»

      Everybody writes something so cringingly crawley about Assange or full of vitriol.

      I have yet to meet anybody who doesn't hate him however. So presumably the people who present him as a messiah are just doing it to sell papers.

      Wikileaks I have no problem with. Julian Assange is a total muppet.

      1. zb

        Re: Just the sort of objective «reporting»

        "Everybody writes something so cringingly crawley about Assange or full of vitriol.

        I have yet to meet anybody who doesn't hate him however"

        I think of him in the same way that I think about Margaret Thatcher. Lots of good work done in the early years before they went mad

  13. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    “Kyle and Jackie O”

    Twin, contained, black holes.

    That's physics for you right there.

  14. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    The clue is in the name

    Wikileaks.

    Chop him up small and send him out through the sewer system.

    Leaked wikileaker..

  15. Rob Crawford

    reveals he has banned smartphones at the Ecuadorian embassy as he assumes they are all surveilled.

    I suspect that if I work there I would suggest that the egotistical arse should leave via an upper window and no ladder

  16. CrazyOldCatMan Silver badge

    "surveilled"

    Is not a word[1]. Please discontinue usage thereof or I shall cancel my subscription to this publication forthwith!

    I remain yours,

    Disgusted of Wiltshire

    [1] In a proper language of course. What those blasted colonials is, of course, of little interest to civilised folk.

    1. Afernie
      Headmaster

      Re: "surveilled"

      Regardless of your fear and hatred of new fangled terms from across the pond the Oxford English dictionary, sir, does not agree with you.

      1. Alister Silver badge

        Re: "surveilled"

        the Oxford English dictionary, sir, does not agree with you.

        Pah, what do they know! They're the ones considering allowing "he should of" / "he could of" into the dictionary. Fuckwits!

        1. dc_m

          Re: "surveilled"

          Wrong, wrong wrong, wrong and wrong! best explanation ever is here.

          http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=should+of

          Should of should be banned from the language as an insult!

          The only time it makes any sense is in the sentence "Should Of Mice and Men be written in another language"

          1. This post has been deleted by its author

    2. R. Williams

      Re: "surveilled"

      "Surveilled - Is not a word[1]. Please discontinue usage thereof or I shall cancel my subscription to this publication forthwith!"

      As stated, the Oxford English dictionary says you're wrong. For that matter, Google, Dictionary.com, Webster, Random House, and Macmillan disagree with you as well.

      We colonialists may be a bit plebian compared to someone of your stature, but when you deign to give tidbits of information to the masses please make sure they're correct

      1. PNGuinn Silver badge
        Black Helicopters

        Re: "surveilled"

        " Google, Dictionary.com, Webster, Random House, and Macmillan disagree with you as well...."

        What more proof do you need that this is all a commie NSA / CIA plot to subvert the Queen's English??

        And just how near are the dreaming spires of Oxford to Cheltenham?

        So now we know for sure that the OED, that pillar of righteous loquation, has also been perverted to the service of those nasty colonial rebels.

        What next? Cricket?

        Be afraid, be very afraid.

        1. Afernie
          Joke

          Re: "surveilled"

          "And just how near are the dreaming spires of Oxford to Cheltenham?"

          About 40 miles. Our friend, disgusted of Wiltshire however, is resident in a shire of secrets, from Porton Down to TURNSTILE. He'd be a mole if he could burrow through the chalky, chalky downs of home. Trust him not...

  17. JustNiz

    I doubt if the cops are stopping and searching every vehicle leaving the Ecuadorian embassy, and even if they are they won't be allowed to search diplomatically sealed containers, so it seems that the Ecuadorians could easily smuggle him out anytime if they really wanted to.

    Does anyone know for sure that Assange is really still at the the embassy in London, and not actually already in Ecuador and just keeping the myth of his location in the embassy alive for convenience?

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Recall that the embassy is merely part of a larger building. Also, IIRC, that building has no interior garage. Meaning there's a few feet of publicly-accessible space between car and building, and plenty more space between the entrance of the building and the entrance to the actual embassy on the second floor. IOW, anyone coming and going through that building is subject to at least surveillance. As for diplomatically sealed containers, pouches, envelopes and small bags, yes. But is there any documented proof of a diplomatically sealed trunk or other container large enough to contain a person and breathing equipment?

      1. Doctor Syntax Silver badge

        "But is there any documented proof of a diplomatically sealed trunk or other container large enough to contain a person and breathing equipment?"

        No problem. Just leave out the breathing equipment.

  18. Anonymous John

    His plan to escape in a laundry basket fell through when it was appeared on Wikipedia.

    1. PNGuinn Silver badge
      Joke

      re laundry basket annonjohn@

      No, you heard wrong. It appeared in Wikileaks after he stayed in it a bit too long.

  19. PNGuinn Silver badge
    IT Angle

    Flyingfox?

    What is this Flyingfox browser of which he speaks? Is it secure? Does anyone give a flying foox?

    Enquiring minds etc etc....

  20. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    all smartphones are infected, so they are banned from the building

    oh, so he's been promoted?!

  21. Stevie Silver badge

    Bah!

    Fucking Air Malaysia flight MH350 and its pings.

    The word "ping" was used every two minutes on the news shows for weeks, each time with a Stephen Fry mini explanation inserted so everyone could keep up.

    I vote the next idiot that gives a piece of tech jargon to the lumpen press has his/her thumbs hammered flat.

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