back to article As McAfee runs for US President – we ask a crucial question: Will Reg readers back him?

Now that paranoid playboy John McAfee has personally confirmed to El Reg that he is running for US president, it's time to ask a key question. No, not where his campaign stands on inequality, America's simmering racial tensions, the fate of the middle class, and stuff like that. We need to find out this crucial detail: does …

  1. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    I'm thinking he would solve a lot of neighbour disputes with some of the laws he might pass.

    Vote McAfee, you can trump the others (I should work in American politics)

  2. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    The rug and the wingnut

    Trump/McAfee 2016 - you know it makes sense!

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: The rug and the wingnut

      The (metaphorical) nuclear option of American politics.

      Screw the establishment. Give 'em hell!!

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: The rug and the wingnut

      isn't trump an American version of Boris Johnson?

      1. I ain't Spartacus Gold badge

        Re: The rug and the wingnut

        Boris Johnson seems positively normal in comparison to Trump. He should still get a proper haircut though. Does he do his with garden shears? Also, in Boris' case, the buffoonery is a smokescreen to hide that he's a very bright chap, and he doesn't appear to be a rude arsehole either.

        Although Johnson apparently really does talk like that, even under provocation. He came across a mugging a few years ago, charged towards the attackers, still on his bike, and shouted, "clear off you oiks!"

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: The rug and the wingnut

          Don't forget that Boris Johnson has dual British/American citizenship so could run as McAfee's running mate!

          1. I ain't Spartacus Gold badge
            Happy

            Re: The rug and the wingnut

            Johnson really ought to run with Trump. He's got enough hair for both of them. Perhaps he could have his combed over Donald's bald spot?

            1. Anomalous Cowturd
              Holmes

              Donald has a bald spot? Where?

              Oh, I see.

              Between his ears...

          2. Captain DaFt

            Re: The rug and the wingnut

            "Don't forget that Boris Johnson has dual British/American citizenship so could run as McAfee's running mate!"

            Oh HELLS YEAH!! It'd be worth it just to see all the ranting and foaming at the mouth from nutters on both sides of the fence!

      2. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: isn't trump an American version of Boris Johnson?

        Trump is an American version of Trump

      3. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: The rug and the wingnut

        Nope. Boris Johnson (whatever one may think of the man) is not a retard like Trump.

    3. asdf Silver badge

      Re: The rug and the wingnut

      Trump/McAfee 2016 - because the damn rapture is taking its sweet time and needs a push.

  3. Anonymous Coward
    Devil

    American Politics

    Crazy, idiotic, paranoid and criminal, Americans have repeatedly voted in presidents that fit one or more of these attributes.

    Seems the most hated thing to the political media and (seemingly) public is a well balance intelligent leader, especially if they have a socialist outlook.

    1. Gene Cash Silver badge

      "a well balance intelligent leader"

      If one EVER runs for American political office (not just the presidency), PLEASE let me know so I can vote for him!

      I'm actually planning to vote for Trump. I figure he'll be entertaining and not get anything done. It's better he not screw things any worse.

    2. LucreLout Silver badge
      Thumb Up

      Re: American Politics

      ..a well balance intelligent leader, especially if they have a socialist outlook.

      Hahahahahaha! I see what you did there.

    3. Alister Silver badge

      Re: American Politics

      Crazy, idiotic, paranoid and criminal, Americans have repeatedly voted in presidents that fit one or more of these attributes.

      However, never before have they considered one person with all those qualities...

      1. a_yank_lurker Silver badge

        Re: American Politics

        They having trouble with Hildabeast and her email saga - might need to add treasonous to the list.

        1. Midnight

          Re: American Politics

          They having trouble with Hildabeast and her email saga - might need to add treasonous to the list.

          "Whoever, owing allegiance to the United States, levies war against them or adheres to their enemies, giving them aid and comfort within the United States or elsewhere, is guilty of treason [...]" -- 18 U.S. Code §2381

          Hmm. If it was an Exchange server then it would technically be the enemy of all living things, and that would include the United States, but from my experience there is neither "aid" nor "comfort" involved in running it.

          You may be stretching just a little bit there.

      2. Anonymous Coward
        Facepalm

        Re: American Politics

        >Crazy, idiotic, paranoid and criminal, Americans have repeatedly voted in presidents that fit one or more of these attributes.

        >However, never before have they considered one person with all those qualities...

        Eh?

        Nixon

        Bush (Jr)

        etc...

    4. asdf Silver badge

      Re: American Politics

      Cameron and Blair would fit right in.

    5. Fungus Bob Silver badge

      Re: American Politics

      "Crazy, idiotic, paranoid and criminal"

      Batshit crazy would be an improvement over the usual bunch of pathetic weasels we usually get.

    6. Kumar2012

      Re: American Politics

      Intelligent and socialist don't go together, unless you mean intelligent in the sense of most socialist leaders I have lived under in that they and their families become fabulously wealthy while ruining the country they rule over. But then again it easy to sit in your mum's basement and espouse all the 'glories' of socialism when you haven't experienced it first hand right...

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: American Politics

        > espouse all the 'glories' of socialism

        The Economist Intelligence Unit’s where-to-be-born index (previously called the quality-of-life index, abbreviated QLI) attempts to measure which country will provide the best opportunities for a healthy, safe and prosperous life

        2013 rankings

        3 Norway 8.09

        4 Sweden 8.02

        5 Denmark 8.01

        16 United States 7.38

        18 United Arab Emirates 7.33

      2. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: American Politics

        >of most socialist leaders I have lived under

        You are counting Obama aren't you? Listening to most Americans talk about socialism is like listening to a 5 year old kid talk about driving.

      3. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Socialist

        Actually I have and still do.

        In the UK there are still a few socialist organisations which we benefit from, the NHS being the most obvious.

        Capitalism is wealth generating and helpfull to build aspersions.

        Socialism means that my kids can do anything their talent and determination leads them to (inspiring). It means that, no matter what, the health of my family is looked after. It means that if the worst was to happen to me they would not starve.

        We need both.

        One supports the other.

        Businesses needs healthy educated people who won't seal the guttering just for survivals sake.

        People need wealth to help pay for the safety net.

        So someone with a socialist outlook is an idiot how?

  4. joeW

    Nah

    If he gets installed in the White House, you'd never fully get rid of him afterwards.

    1. Bronek Kozicki Silver badge
      Thumb Up

      Re: Nah

      post of the month

    2. Ben Bonsall

      Re: Nah

      Not to mention slowing everything down and preventing any other presidents from being installed...

    3. chivo243 Silver badge
      Trollface

      Re: Nah

      I have a script for that!

    4. I ain't Spartacus Gold badge
      Happy

      Re: Nah

      Still better than President Norton though...

      Who'd probably paint the White House yellow.

      1. Swarthy Silver badge

        Re: Nah

        Still better than President Norton though...
        However, I could put some support behind Emperor Norton

    5. Alister Silver badge

      Re: Nah

      If he gets installed in the White House, you'd never fully get rid of him afterwards.

      Maybe we could give him a thirty-day trial?

    6. dotdavid

      Re: Nah

      I'd replace him with Microsoft Government Essentials.

    7. JonP

      Re: Nah

      ...and on a similar theme - if you do vote for someone else, don't forget to uncheck your vote for McAfee first!

    8. asdf Silver badge

      Re: Nah

      McAfee (both) is a bit like herpes.

  5. something_or_another
    FAIL

    Can he get this fucking site to use TLS?

    ....then he get's my nod, but not a vote. Hey El Reg - Last year you said you're looking into the 'so very complicated that nobody can seem to implement it' TLS?

    WHAT THE FUCK? Maybe someone from this org should run for government office ....over there - 'cause you already have the blatant lying straight.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Can he get this fucking site to use TLS?

      Why does this site need TLS?

    2. Irongut
      Boffin

      Re: Can he get this fucking site to use TLS?

      Stop using the same password for El Reg and your bank account... problem solved!

    3. asdf Silver badge

      Re: Can he get this fucking site to use TLS?

      Some validity to your argument but the ranting is getting you the downvotes Eadon.

  6. NormDP

    He's the closest thing to None of the Above. So, why not?

  7. lukewarmdog

    Go West

    If I could vote, I'd vote Kanye.

    I'd be happy if Mcafee wanted to take it to a sudden death elimination round however.

    1. disgruntled yank Silver badge

      Re: Go West

      I have to say that Kim Kardashian would make a fine First Lady. She might not make the FDA happy, but the reality show aspect might be what we need to organize a new constitutional convention.

  8. disgruntled yank Silver badge

    Underground?

    Is his following underground or under a rock?

  9. CAPS LOCK Silver badge

    President McAfee?

    Oh how I wish it would come true.

  10. Velv Silver badge
    Terminator

    Edward Snowdon should run for President. If the public believe in him then that should trump the authorities (who allegedly work for the public)

    1. Dave 32
      Coat

      Edward Snowden for President

      Hey, cool idea. If he won, he could pardon himself. I wonder if they could administer the oath of office in Russia?

      Dave

      P.S. I'll get my coat. It's the one with the stack of "I Voted" stickers in the pocket.

      1. Nehmo

        Re: Edward Snowden for President

        He's not old enough for this cycle (Born: June 21, 1983, age 33 in late 2016). But absolutely, yes, I would vote for Edward Snowden. I not only would vote for Snowden, I would campaign for him for free.

        The man has proven himself to be a patriot willing to risk his own welfare for the good of the country.

  11. Dave 32

    I would rather drive a nail through my foot

    I do love that campaign slogan, though:

    "I would never run for office, neither would I want to be in office, of any kind. I would rather drive a nail through my foot."

    Dave

    1. Brian Miller

      Re: I would rather drive a nail through my foot

      Yes, I'd gladly vote for him!

      Right after he drives a nail through his foot!

      1. Allan George Dyer Silver badge
        Coat

        Re: I would rather drive a nail through my foot

        Where do I contribute to the "Buy McAfee a nailgun" fund?

    2. Michael Wojcik Silver badge

      Re: I would rather drive a nail through my foot

      Sherman got there first. And then again thirteen years later.

      The common paraphrase of Sherman's second version is much catchier, too. Unfortunately it's not what Sherman actually wrote. It's a pity we don't know who coined it.

  12. Metrognome

    Am I the only one that finds his voice really attractive in a kind of feature film promo trailer kind of way?

  13. phil 27
    Thumb Up

    Having watched some of his youtube vid's slagging off his former antivirus company, he comes across as mad as a box of frogs with a pechant for getting up people's noses, scantily clad women, guns, alcohol and other fun stuff.

    Hell yes I would vote for him, seems to me theres not much left in his closet to blackmail him with!

    One for posterity.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YpRvaQsGIY8

  14. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Why

    Why would anyone vote for this guy? He certainly isn't presidential material in my view.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Why

      "Why would anyone vote for this guy? He certainly isn't presidential material in my view."

      'Cause he has the Right Idea(tm) with respect to backing up. I would be very interested in securing similar back-up services. Very interested.

      AC 'cause She Who Must Be Obeyed might see this.

    2. Michael Wojcik Silver badge

      Re: Why

      Why would anyone vote for this guy? He certainly isn't presidential material in my view.

      Anyone who pays attention to US presidential voting patterns knows you just answered your own question.

      (Personally, I think phrases like "presidential material" are so vague as to be useless anyway, in discussing a candidate's suitability for office. But few people who talk about the US Presidency want to frame that discussion in rational terms. Indeed, that's largely true of all US politics; commentators would much rather grind some adolescent axe like "no career politicians!".)

    3. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Why

      America needs to be taken down a notch or five and the only nation capable of this is America.

  15. sisk Silver badge

    Kinda depends

    If we end up with Trump vs Clinton then a vote for McAfee would actually look pretty good by comparison.

  16. Bota
    Stop

    It always makes me laugh..

    When people really believe the president has any real power. The owners of the United States aka international finance have long since gotten rid of those they may not approve of (see jfk).

    Incidentally jfk and Lincoln both wanted to have sovereign currency, Lincoln with his green backs and jfk with executive order 11110. I will give up all I own the day a presidential nominee says they will abolish the fed. Also aipac have a very strong grip on anyone in American politics, anti Israel and you're out, I'd be interested to see how these 2 view the middle east.

  17. ukgnome Silver badge

    Tony Stark has let himself go a bit.

  18. Fraggle850

    If JMcA does get voted in

    Belize should start to get very nervous, I think he's got unfinished business there. If they've got oil too they're f***ed.

  19. The Dude

    WTF?

    He stole my speech.

  20. phil dude
    Coat

    theatre, just not masterpiece...

    If there were rational debates over the solution of issues common to the electorate, I would not care who was running.

    But in the US, the politics of dogma overrides the eminently practical approach of most of America.

    Hence the installed bases of the "left" and "right" (there is no difference - they are simply heading power structures with different monetary interests), are fighting tooth and nail to keep the "massaged candidates" on view.

    I know nothing of Trump or Sanders (and neither do *you*), but they are not approved and that suggests this is all theatre.

    Better have an election or someone will suspect it is fixed...

    P.

    1. earl grey Silver badge
      Trollface

      Re: theatre, just not masterpiece...

      sanders? the chicken guy? I thought only the dead voted, not voted FOR the dead.

      1. phil dude
        Boffin

        Re: theatre, just not masterpiece...

        I gave you an upvote - there's something to the whole name recognition thing...*Clintoncough*, *Bushcough*.

        That is sort of my point. We don't have politics at all. We have meta, or even meta-meta politics.

        The groups that hold the power and/or money simply rearrange the deck-chairs on the deck, and there is no-one left to steer the ship. Most of political groups are running the gift shops to feather their nests on the lower decks....

        Citizens cannot be expected to understand the minutae of the running on the government, so we need a competent civil service to perform this. The problem is we want a meritocratic civil service to solve problems for us all. What we have is an ideologically driven system, that rewards compliance, punishes dissent and has become chaotically entrenched with the money of short-term corporate interests.

        I highly recommend reading The Federalist papers and some of the other writings (within 100 years!) that surrounded the creation of the United States.

        You might be surprised how much thought went into the very problems we have today...

        P.

  21. Salamamba

    McA crashes USA

    Considering that McAufee has crashed every computer I've ever installed it on*, I imagine he'd manage the same with the US economy.

    So he'd be on par with the last few presidents then.

    * mostly by accident.

    1. sisk Silver badge

      Re: McA crashes USA

      Remember John McAfee hasn't had anything to do with the software or company that bears his name for twenty some-odd years now. Even he says it's a piece of crap these days.

  22. Alan Esworthy
    Mushroom

    Fsck Yeah!

    As a voting Merkin, I say that the rest of the presidential candidates are just as crazy or crazier but hide it better. They're also more dangerous to me, my family, the U.S., not to mention the rest of the world.

    So, YES, I'll vote for him.

    1. asdf Silver badge

      Re: Fsck Yeah!

      They are a sorry lot pretty much on both sides but if the decision is Trump, Hillary or leaving that box blank I am saving the ink.

  23. anoncow

    Pro and con

    Pro: he can shoot back at any would-be assassins

    Con: he might deal drugs off the front lawn of the white house

    1. cyrus

      Re: Pro and con

      He can be my president and my pusher.

  24. Captain DaFt

    Missed option:

    "I would never run for office, neither would I want to be in office, of any kind. I would rather drive a nail through my foot."

    Add, "But I looked at the asshats running, and I see no other choice but to run." and you have his perfect campaign slogan.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Missed option:

      An asshat is simply a fool which fits but not as well as assclown which not only implies you are a fool but would enjoy going on TV to let the rest of the world know as well.

  25. SoltanGris

    Just don't take the free SIM card

    I'd vote for him, just to shake the GD tree. That coming from my

    traditional conservative/ libertarian mindset of past 45 years.

    But if he ever offered free SIM cards for everyone that granted free internet

    access and free phone service for 'life', I'd decline. Just a word to the wise.

    If you do see that offer, invest in a underground bunker.

    .

    ,.

    .

    If you get the reference, gratz.

  26. John Tserkezis

    If I could, I'd vote for McAfee purely on the grounds that he is slightly less crazy than Trump.

    Holy fuck that says a lot.

  27. drone2903 in Kanuckistant

    Looking at that campain from here

    I sure hope that wall will be build.

    Soon.

    And I thought we had a lousy choice.

  28. WoodstockWillie

    Uninteresting

    Drug addled multimillionaire running for office? Think the Republican party has that kind of candidate covered in droves.

  29. Tom 13

    Nope, you missed the most important question of all

    Will John McAfee release his REAL birth certificate?

    If not, he cannot run.

  30. P.B. Lecavalier
    Linux

    Dream team

    RMS for VP!

    Security obsession + Free software obsession = new era

  31. Schlimnitz

    "invades my privacy to assure me that I am not the enemy it is protecting me from"

    Don't know if that's his own or borrowed from someone else, but I rather like it.

    I think that the main advantage of McAfee is that you're not likely to get any nasty surprises.

    And someone who doesn't want office is probably the best candidate.

    1. Solmyr ibn Wali Barad

      "someone who doesn't want office is probably the best candidate"

      With a caveat: someone capable, yet immune to the lure of power. That's a truly rare breed. And there is no way of knowing it beforehand. Their virtue shall be known only when they've stepped down by their own will.

      https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lucius_Quinctius_Cincinnatus

  32. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Not president as in the White House

    He's running for president of the OUT HOUSE.

  33. Unicornpiss Silver badge
    Pint

    I'd pick him over Donald Trump anyday..

    Other than that, probably not.

    As a side note, for some reason this reminded me of an old book I have: "Peter Norton's Inside the PC" --Every time I would see the title I would think, "No he's not..."

  34. Yugguy

    Why I am not successful

    I need to grow a goatee.

POST COMMENT House rules

Not a member of The Register? Create a new account here.

  • Enter your comment

  • Add an icon

Anonymous cowards cannot choose their icon

Biting the hand that feeds IT © 1998–2019