back to article Camera-carrying DOLPHIN SPY caught off Gaza

Palestinian news outlet Nadae Al Watan reports that a spy dolphin was captured in the Mediterranean Sea off Gaza. The publication says the creature was carrying a cameras and other surveillance equipment. It's alleged the Dolphin is a weaponised aquatic mammal used by Israel to observe Palestinian Islamic resistance movement …

  1. Stevie Silver badge

    Bah!

    Weaponized dolphins.

    Riiiiiight.

    1. James O'Shea Silver badge

      Re: Bah!

      Old, old, old stuff. See further _The Day of the Dolphin_, by Robert Merle, 1969. Not a great book, but far better than the movie, staring George C. Scott, 1973. I still have the book somewhere. I saw the movie, once. That was twice too often.

      Other, much better, and much more weaonized dolphin tales include _Startide Rising_, David Brin. 1983. I've got that one somewhere around here, too.

      1. Alien8n Silver badge

        Re: Bah!

        David Brin, the only person I know to write a book containing a masturbating dolphin...

        His Uplift War series though is excellent.

        1. Richard Taylor 2 Silver badge
          Alert

          Re: Bah!

          David Brin, the only person I know to write a book containing a masturbating dolphin...

          His Uplift War series though is excellent.

          I would suggest you look at both Old Harry's game (there is a very evil dolphin (goes by the name of Chuckles) who appears in the first series I think, and who has a crush on Sharon Davies - I know not a book, but, and Carl Hiassen's Native Tongue - where the dolphin gets up to much much much

    2. Captain DaFt
    3. Voland's right hand Silver badge

      Re: Bah!

      Two ways of looking at it:

      1. Baah - more likely one.

      2. The pics are true. In this case, that shall be a war crime, because I can bet that the Cetaceos Israeli Commando was served with some humus in the local seafood restaurant.

    4. Richard Taylor 2 Silver badge

      Re: Bah!

      In a standoff between a dolphin with a webcam and a shark with a frikkin great laser I know who I would bet on

  2. Tromos

    Whatever next?

    Haddock with howitzers?

    1. Mark 85 Silver badge

      Re: Whatever next?

      Nah... howitzers don't work to well underwater.. Maybe tuna with torpedoes?

      1. Crisp Silver badge

        Re: Whatever next?

        Narwhals with nukes?

        1. phear46

          Re: Whatever next?

          Mac-10erel?

        2. Michael H.F. Wilkinson Silver badge
          Mushroom

          Re: Whatever next?

          Marlins with Missiles?

          Icon, because them Missiles be Minutemen

          1. Triggerfish

            Re: Whatever next?

            Trout are very powerful and carry underwater weapons.

            https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Kybyy1EkoOE

            1. Bernard M. Orwell Silver badge

              Re: Whatever next?

              Don't you go too near!

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Whatever next?

      > Haddock with howitzers?

      It's all about air power these days; they've deployed sea-gulls with siege-guns.

    3. Sgt_Oddball Silver badge

      Re: Whatever next?

      Sea-breams with c-beams?

      Mines the one that glitters in the dark near the Tannhäuser Gate...

    4. D@v3

      Re: Whatever next?

      mutated ill tempered sea bass?

      1. Danny 4

        Re: Whatever next?

        Urchins with Uzis

        1. Bernard M. Orwell Silver badge

          Re: Whatever next?

          Bats with Bombs?

          owait. That one is real....

          https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bat_bomb

          1. Martin Budden

            Re: Whatever next?

            Pike with... Actually pike don't need secondary armament, they are vicious bastards already.

  3. This post has been deleted by its author

    1. Roq D. Kasba

      Extraordinary rendition, torture, confession

    2. smudge Silver badge

      Hamas are hoping to exchange it for some nice tuna and a year's supply of sardines.

    3. Christoph Silver badge
      Joke

      Was the dolphin circumcised?

      1. stairway

        Re:

        No foreskin.

      2. Ed_UK

        "Was the dolphin circumcised?"

        Tricky - that would probably need four skin-divers.

    4. 2+2=5 Silver badge
      Joke

      > What happened to the dolphin after it was captured?

      It was delicious.

    5. Alister Silver badge

      What happened to the dolphin after it was captured?

      They kept asking it questions, but all it would say is "Darwin likes fish!", and then going "EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE"

      1. Thecowking

        Seaquest DSV, my word, that's a blast from the past.

    6. Stella Duvel
      Coat

      Hamas grills captured dolphin?

    7. Mark 65 Silver badge

      What happened to the dolphin after it was captured?

      Water boarded.

  4. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Did they do it on porpoise?

    I'll get my coat...

    1. This post has been deleted by its author

  5. gerryg

    Obligatory

    "Flipper" reference

  6. Scroticus Canis Silver badge

    "...spy on Palestinian navy."

    Ooh, so they managed to mount a .50 cal on a pedalo?

    1. phuzz Silver badge
      Boffin

      Re: "...spy on Palestinian navy."

      I know you're joking but I'd like to see that happen. I predict the pedelo zooming backwards.

      I'm sure some of our US readers with, shall we say, a neck of purest #FF0000, could set up the required demonstration?

      1. 404 Silver badge

        Re: "...spy on Palestinian navy."

        I'm still trying to wrap my brain around 'Palestinian Navy'...

        However, I shall begin watching for dolphins in my neighborhood since I do indeed own a 18.5' Welcraft outboard with a cracked block...

  7. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Whale and dolphin

    I can only think about the South Park episode where the Japanese explain the kill whales and dolphins because it was a whale and a dolphin flying the Enola Gay.

  8. Peter Simpson 1
    WTF?

    Notably absent...

    ...any photo of said captured marine mammal, or its equipment.

    // slow news day in Palestine?

  9. This post has been deleted by its author

    1. ScottAS2

      Re: How does it spy on land?

      They actually made this: Thunder in Paradise starring, of all people, Hulk Hogan. It's just as awful as it sounds.

  10. Farmer Fred

    Ah, but are they effective against mind controlled giant squid?

  11. Peter Clarke 1

    Arms (Flipper ?) Race

    Having honed their tactics by using the Red Alert training simulator, Hamas are now ready to deploy their giant squid against the Israeli Navy.

    We will annihilate them!

  12. Florida1920 Silver badge
    Pint

    So long

    and thanks for all the great hardware.

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