back to article Illinois man steals vibrator, strips naked, attacks Obama

An Illinois man cuffed for suspected theft of a sex toy, and who told cops he had "no idea" how a pink Euphoria G-Spot Delight vibrator came to be in his boxer shorts, later recalled quite clearly that he didn't much like the US prez when he "stripped completely naked" in his cell, making "derogatory comments about President …

  1. Ole Juul Silver badge

    American politics

    Business as usual.

  2. This post has been deleted by its author

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re : retail value $48

      You'd need big pants to steal 48 vibrators.

      Are we sure this guy is not a Republican senator - or a television evangelist? This would be quite normal behaviour for those guys

      1. Ken 16 Silver badge
        Paris Hilton

        Re: Re : retail value $48

        You comment reminds me of the old Miami Vice TV show, I always wondered where Tubbs concealed that folding shotgun.

      2. Fungus Bob Silver badge

        Re: Re : retail value $48

        "Are we sure this guy is not a Republican senator"

        He couldn't be a worse prez than Donald Trump.

    2. Ken 16 Silver badge
      Pint

      You know where to buy sex toys for £1? You must be popular with the ladies. I rely on Chinese websites for my discount distractions.

      1. This post has been deleted by its author

  3. This post has been deleted by its author

    1. DropBear Silver badge
      Gimp

      You forgot the most important part: "more research required"...

      1. Mark 85 Silver badge

        Which requires applying for a grant... Hmm.... I wonder if there is grant money available for this? Back in a bit.

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: vibration cancelling vibrators

      Finally a viable market for NXT technology

  4. Def Silver badge
    WTF?

    Charged with... Possession of Drug Paraphernalia

    Are you fucking kidding me?

    Better charge him with Thinking About Drugs too.

  5. Iain Cognito

    No, you're the criminal ...

    Yeah either he was holding "metal air drive pipe" or drugs paraphenalia, but not both.

    BTW I have done a Google image search for "metal air drive pipe" and apart from what appears to be a jet engine I can't see anything there that could be used in such a manner. Unless things have moved on a bit since I was a teen. Cough.

  6. mediabeing
  7. Howard Hanek Bronze badge
    Happy

    Clarification

    The only normal behavior exhibited here is the man's hatred of Obama. The inference that hatred of Obama is somehow associated with mental and/or sexual disorders is egregious. Ask Hillary.

  8. Unicornpiss Silver badge
    Meh

    He can always vote for Trump

    ..if he doesn't like Obama.....and assuming he isn't convicted of a felony. He seems like just the kind of guy that Trump's rhetoric might make sense to.

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