Re: TED talk
No, that's bollocks. In just about any functional marriage, each partner would be properly fucked off about the other cheating on them. Sure, you can find me exceptions - but those are very much outliers. Marriages are substantially always damaged when infidelity occurs.
Sorry, but nope. Marriages have moved past the bizarre religious ideals of monogamy for a great many people. Maybe not the majority, but a very significant number.
Run the numbers. Look at the *fraction* of marriages that are truly open. It's a statistical insignificance. Most marriages where there is infidelity end in divorce in a relatively short space of time. Whether that's healthy or not is for someone else to decide - but it is a fact.
I don't know where you're getting your numbers. They certainly don't line up with any I've seen. Now, infidelity is the most frequently listed reason for divorce, but it has been repeatedly noted in research surrounding divorce that most of those relationships were about done anyways, and the infidelity (or claims thereof, in many cases it's hard to verify) are used to deal with legal issues surrounding divorce and/or to milk the ex-spouse dry.
I am incredulous that you've written that. Look at the history of failed marriages - a vast proportion are due to infidelity. I cannot believe you are naive enough to believe that more than a handful would not care about an extra-marital affair; substantially all cuckolds/cuckqueens really do care, and I am frankly astonished that you could believe anything else.
Your inability to see beyond your own prejudices is your own problem, sir. I have actually researched this topic at quite some length. The number of marriages that don't fail after infidelity are actually quite high. The number of marriages in which infidelity is tacitly (if not openly) tolerated is also a lot higher than you seem to think.
What's more, when marriages do dissolve it is rare that it is anywhere near so simple as "X found out Y was cheating on them and divorce ensued". A) Usually there are all sorts of reasons why the infidelity occurred in the first place that boil down to "marriage in trouble". B) Infidelity is quite often tacitly (if not openly) tolerated until something else in the relationship goes rather wrong.
You seem to personally believe quite strongly in monogamy. That's fine, but I think you need to realize that not only has that not always been the case, people in our culture are a lot more diverse in their attitudes and approaches to marriage than you are portraying.
What's more, you still haven't laid out a rationale for why the fact that some individuals choose to be obsessed with monogamy gives them the right to care whether or not others are, or to pressure those others regarding their marital habits.
To be quite blunt about it, poking your nose into the bedchambers of others uninvited should be of itself illegal, no matter who the individuals in the bedchambers are.
You will not convince me otherwise.