back to article べーコンはどこですか? demands post-pub nosh fan

Our recent foray into the remarkable world of Hawaiian-Japanese fusion post-pub cuisine prompted some entertaining commentard chatter. Spam musubi on a plate Amid teary-eyed recollections of Spam fritters and pink blancmange, wit 1980's_coder delivered an inevitable but nonetheless highly agreeable verdict on Spam musubi, …

  1. This post has been deleted by its author

    1. Alister Silver badge
    2. Martin Budden Bronze badge

      Me three!

  2. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    「ここベーコンです」ってどういう意味ですか?

    1. Lester Haines (Written by Reg staff) Gold badge

      Hmmm, bacon

      Well, that's the closest to bacon you're going to get with this recipe

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Hmmm, bacon

        それから私は、より良いレシピを持っています。私は無思慮に麻痺になったときの場面で、私は私の親友の妻のつま先でかじるのが好き。彼はこのことを知りません。彼に教えないでください。 それは非常に楽しいアレンジです。良いベーコン。

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: Hmmm, bacon

          You can tell when someone uses google translate because they produce something with lots of "私".

          Unfortunately using google translate to write gibberish in a second language is actually worth minus e-penis points.

  3. wobblestar

    Suggestion

    How's about a quick kedgeree as post-pub nosh. Satisfying curry flavour after a few beers ...

  4. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    I'd say

    A smidge is just enough for what you need it for depending on personal taste and as such cannot be quantified as an absolute.

    1. Alister Silver badge

      Re: I'd say

      No, no, no...

      Empirical measurements are just not good enough.

      Each weighed item must be exact to 3 decimal places, and each item by size should be specified and checked with a micrometer.

      For example, where "one large onion" is specified, we need to know to the nearest micro-linguine what the diameter should be...

      1. Roq D. Kasba

        Re: I'd say

        A smidge is empirically defined as:

        Smidgen form Smigeon - equal in volume to the amount eaten in a single sitting by a small pigeon.

        Obvs.

      2. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: I'd say

        Alister I was going to say this in reply to your original question, if you can't handle the concept of a smidge I don't think you should be in the kitchen.

        And as for a large onion, there is no such thing as a large onion, only the biggest you happen to have at hand. I had an uncle who grew onions in his allotment anything under 6 inches was small everything else was just an onion.

        1. Alister Silver badge

          Re: I'd say

          @Chris W

          So you're trying to tell me that cooking is not an exact science then?

          I need to throw away my Vernier scales and live free?

          No longer should I scrutinise each carrots julienne for consistent length and width?

          I should stop counting the number of baked beans in each serving?

          This is all a revelation to me...

          Please note that this, and my original post, may contain a soupçon of sarcasm, and a smidge of humour, possibly too small to be noticeable...

          1. Anonymous Coward
            Anonymous Coward

            Re: I'd say

            Wow, that really was sarcasm. Couldn't see any humour though.

            1. Mark 85 Silver badge
              Pint

              @Chris W -- Re: I'd say

              By definition, a 'smidge' should barely be noticeable. Except for a smidge of beer....

            2. Alister Silver badge

              Re: I'd say

              @ Chris W

              Couldn't see any humour though.

              So, you really think that when I said Each weighed item must be exact to 3 decimal places, and each item by size should be specified and checked with a micrometer I was being serious?

              Blimey.

      3. launcap Silver badge
        Boffin

        Re: I'd say

        > For example, where "one large onion" is specified, we need to know to the nearest micro-linguine

        > what the diameter should be...

        And what the air-pressure[1] and ambient temperature[1] was at the time of measurement. And relative humidity[1].

        Anality. It's not just a lifestyle choice.

        [1] Is there a Reg unit for any of these? If not, why not? I suppose one could combine them in terms of politicians output (high-pressure hot air with lots of spittle being one Foot? Or in more modern parlance, one Farage?)

    2. Captain DaFt

      Re: I'd say

      I've always thought that a smidge of something was more than a pinch, but less than a dash.

  5. Sean Timarco Baggaley

    To avoid confusion with the milliJub (or mJub), shouldn't we be referring to µJubs?

    (That's ALT+230 in Windows. OPT+m on OS X. What GNU/Linux or the BSDs use is left as an exercise for the reader.)

    1. CowardlyLion

      µ is AltGr+M at least on my machine (Fedora 22 / KDE)

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        ditto (Ubuntu 14.04 + Unity) - although I suspect it's more a keyboard layout than UI sort of thing?

        1. Stoneshop Silver badge

          compose - slash - u

    2. Michael Strorm

      私は日本語が話せませんが、私は翻訳、オンライン使用することができます。また、ベーコン。

      "To avoid confusion with the milliJub (or mJub), shouldn't we be referring to µJubs?"

      If you weren't such a bunch of pinko commie socialist French pro-decimalites, you'd know that- like the inch- The Glorious Imperial Jub is *never* split by factors of 10 (*). The accepted form is the 1/17 of a jub, also known as a "speck". The speck is in turn made up of pi/sqrt(-14) unequally-sized "liquid groats".

      The Americans also use these units, but *their* versions are slightly different. This is purely for the sake of ensuring that some $3.4 bn space probe crashes into Grimsby because there was confusion over which versions were being used.

      (*) You can try, but it'll explode and destroy itself rather than betray the spirits of John Bull and the fourteenth-century German farmers he nicked the units off in the first place (before they realised they didn't want them back and decimal was actually quite a sensible idea anyway).

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: 私は日本語が話せませんが、私は翻訳、オンライン使用することができます。また、ベーコン。

        悲しいかな、貧しいビーグル、私はそれを目撃しました、マイケル。

      2. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: 私は日本語が話せませんが、私は翻訳、オンライン使用することができます。また、ベーコン。

        この意図的な強情は私たちのスピットファイアの際にも同様の効果がありました。少しファッカーズ。それでも、ピンクのカエルを回すために私たちの動機でした。我々は、このためにたわごとの国民に感謝する必要があります。

      3. Sgt_Oddball Silver badge

        Re: 私は日本語が話せませんが、私は翻訳、オンライン使用することができます。また、ベーコン。

        But what has a confectioners of seaside rock and other treats ever done to the yanks? (incidentally the factories outside Bridlington not Grimsby.)

  6. dogged

    Here's one for you.

    That's a chicken, cheese and bourbon and bacon jam wrap, where the wrap is not some wishy-washy tortilla, it's Serrano ham. Invented by the legend* that is Martin Cowley.

    *for the ignorant, Martin is the bloke who told that pissy Scots git on Dragon's Den to go fuck himself.

  7. TRT Silver badge

    A smidge...

    is the amount you can comfortably get on the end of a standard table knife.

    It is the default unit of measurement for pastes and other semi-solids which one can't actually pinch in any useful kind of a way. If one were to use the "end of a table knife" measure for granular or powdered solids, such as salt or pepper, then you'd find that a "smidge" was larger than a pinch.

    I'm disappointed that the Reg Standards hasn't yet been extended into the temporal realm.

    For example, the three day figure given in the instructional video should be given as "1 stockpart", the stockpart being the standard unit of time it will take to get your hands on any part, component or spare described as "held in stock".

  8. MajorTom

    Scosh

    If we're bringing in Japanese, then we should recall that a smidge is equivalent to a scosh.

  9. x 7

    a smidge is a quantity of powder equal to the amount of chilli powder that will stick on a cats wet nose without it sneezing

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